by Lexy Timms
Charity and Elijah had given him one of their spare bedrooms the night before, which was beyond appreciated. The evening brought him peace and reminded him that there was still a chance that things would work out. He didn't have to resign himself to his marriage being over. It wasn't. Not yet.
"Sure as fuck feels like it." Simon looked up in the rearview mirror at his house that he and Julie had built from the ground up, and shuddered at the thought of never being welcomed in it again.
Her kiss had been hot, needy and demanding, but she'd pulled back so fast. He should have pushed it a little and tugged her down to the bed beside them. Maybe she would have let him kiss her a few more times, pulled her close and whispered how fucking heartbroken he was.
"Keep it light," he growled and hit his hand on the steering wheel. Keeping it light wasn't working. The flowers he ordered her would be waiting in her office for her, but would she welcome them? It didn't seem like it.
And what the fuck was up with her mentioning her new intern? Was the kid hitting on her? He'd be dumb not to, and yet Simon hoped like hell he didn't run into the punk ass. Pam wouldn't be the only one nursing a broken nose or a busted up eye.
The hospital came into view and he tried hard to push his thoughts away, but they wouldn't stop. With an hour left until his shift, he decided on a trip to the gym. Sweating out his angst was the only way to feel some semblance of peace lately.
He parked in a secure lot and got out, pulling the tarp Charity had given him over his stuff and setting the alarm. It would be his luck that someone would steal all his shit, but if it happened, so be it. There was nothing he couldn't live without, other than Jules.
Walking into the ER, he got a lot of hand waves and good afternoons before jogging toward the elevator as it closed. A pretty redhead held the door and smiled shyly at him as he got in.
"Hi." She extended her hand. "I'm Lyndsay."
"I'm Dr. Paulk and I'm married. Nice to meet you." Simon turned to the panel of buttons and hit his. "What floor are you going to?"
She chuckled and reached around him, brushing her arm against his chest. "Three and being married is your problem, not mine."
"It's a great problem to have." He gave her a side glance and slipped off as the door opened. Women could throw their panties at him all day. He wasn't even remotely interested. He had his turn to fuck up, and the sad realization was that no woman would ever be Jules but her. If she didn't take him back, he would be spending the rest of his life looking for another 'her'.
The gym smelled of sweat and Clorox, but it was a scent that told him he was about to get a bit of relief. He moved to the men's locker room and changed into jogging shorts and a tank top, laced up his tennis shoes and put on a pair of ear buds before walking to the weights. He lifted until his shoulders and biceps burned. He got a few stares, but ignored everyone and dove into the music and the intense need to punish himself for all of his mistakes.
If Julie could just beat me up or wear me out or use me until I break... if she could just find some way to bleed her hate out on me and then be done with it.
But it wasn't going to happen. She wasn't that kind of girl.
Simon glanced to his left as some young pup lifted a huge barbell set, his grunt deep and masculine, though his appearance didn't match it well. A smile lifted Simon's lip and he shook his head. The kid reminded him a little of him when he was young and dumb. Hopefully the idiot would find someone like Jules who could whip him into shape and keep him from diving down all the wrong roads.
The only reason Simon was the man he had become was because of his beautiful wife. She was his strength and his wisdom. He grunted loudly as he pushed himself past his comfort zone and then a bit further.
The kid walked up to him and smiled as Simon set his weights down and pulled his ear buds out.
"That's a lot of weight, old man." The boy chuckled.
"Old man? You look like you just got out of junior high. I'm in my earlier thirties." Simon picked up the barbell again. "Best years of my life."
"Whatever. Early twenties is where it's at." The kid winked and Simon snorted and went back to his lift. The new resident or intern would be around to throw shit at later, but for now, he wanted to stay in the moment and make sure that some of the heavy emotion that weighed on him remained on the gym floor when he left for the day.
He wrapped up his set and walked to the showers, stripping and getting in for a quick wash. He towel dried quickly, trying hard not to think about how good it would have been to drag Jules into the shower with him at home. She wouldn't have been able to deny him. It was her favorite place to make love and he couldn't blame her. Soapy wet skin and deep penetration.
He groaned and wrapped his towel around himself, hiding his thick erection behind the top of the towel. He walked quickly to his locker and pulled his stuff out as the sound of the kid’s voice from earlier tugged at him. The boy was on the other side of the lockers, talking with another guy.
"Fuck. I didn't check to see what time she comes in. What if she's already here?" the boy asked someone.
"Dr. Paulk’s always early. If she's not here by now, then she'll be in for the three p.m. shift. You've still got thirty minutes before she gets here," a low voice responded.
"Awesome. I don't want to fuckin’ mess this up. She's spot on." The kid grunted.
Simon froze. Was the dark-haired punk from the gym the one interning with Jules? The one that seemed to have a thing for older women?
"Fuckin’ hell no," Simon mumbled and finished pulling his scrubs on before walking around to let the kid know a few things. They were already gone and headed out into the hall by the time Simon walked back into the gym.
He let out a soft growl and turned, walking back into the locker room to finish getting his stuff packed up. He would find Julie later and if the kid was with her, he would pull him aside. He wasn't about to have someone hitting on his wife. She was still his wife.
At least for now.
He sounded like a jealous boyfriend, but hell, he was! Jules was beyond gorgeous. He couldn’t blame the kid for crushing on her. This was no frickin’ Grey’s Anatomy soap opera. This was real life. No way would little boy blue get Jules to blow his horn. No fuckin’ way!
He moved through the halls, trying to find Julie and not having any luck with it. There were only a few places she could be, but after checking them all, he came up empty handed. He paused by the intercom and put his hand on the light blue phone, seriously considering paging her to come to his office, but letting it go. He was overreacting. She wasn't the type of woman to move on from him that fast, especially when they were still legally married.
Anger burned from the center of his stomach as a vision of the kid raced through his head. He wasn't a kid at all, but a really good-looking younger dude.
"And he fucking looks like me." Simon walked to Elijah's office, knocking once before walking in angrily.
Elijah held up his hand and gave an exasperated look as he talked on the phone. "That's right. We have him in good hands, Sir. I promise to find him in a bit and have him check in with you. Yes, absolutely."
Simon sat down in the chair in front of his boss and gave him the death stare. He hated to be so dramatic, but fury raced through him. Elijah finished the call and looked up.
"What the hell? If the door is closed, then don't come in! That's an easy way to tell I'm not accepting visitors."
"What the hell, Elijah? Who is the kid you set Jules up with? Are you for me or against me? I'm getting confused." Simon leaned toward the desk and heat rushed up his chest and covered his neck and cheeks.
"I cannot help the fact that the little fucker looks just like you probably did when you were younger, Simon. He's important to me and I need someone I can trust to get him to come work for us. Period."
"Then give him to me. I'll wine him and dine him to death. I'm a stronger surgeon than Jules. Let me take him on."
"No. She's got the perfect personality
to have him begging to come here." Elijah sat back and shrugged.
"You're using her looks to get the kid to want to come to us? That's beyond messed up."
"Seriously? You want to pull that shit on me?” Elijah waved his hand. “Shut up! Stop bitching at me and get out there and win your wife back. I didn't bring her in for any other reason than she's a great surgeon and a good leader. Take your accusations to someone else. I'm not hearing them. Man up and do whatever it takes." Elijah lifted his hands. "This thing you're doing now... this isn't it."
"Fine." Simon stood and walked out of the chief of staff's office, slamming the door, and hating how much he felt control slipping from his grasp.
Turning the corner, he stopped short as red brushed across his vision. Julie was standing with her back against the wall, talking in a very instructional voice and the fucking playboy was close to her side, his arm extended above her head so he could lean in and learn better.
The problem was, he wasn't paying attention to the clipboard in her hand, but staring at Julie as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Because she is," he mumbled as his knees went weak. Bile rose in his throat and he lifted his fist to his mouth, trying to decide his best course of action. He took a tentative step back as Julie glanced up and over toward him, her eyes widening a little as she moved away from her new intern.
Simon turned on his heel and forced himself to languidly walk toward the elevator as if life were good. He got in and leaned back, closing his eyes and letting the pain of seeing someone else adore her wash over him.
"Simon," she called and stopped in front of the elevator as the door closed. "It's nothing. It's not..."
He nodded and choked on the pain that laced him from all directions.
It was nothing.
Just like him and Pam were nothing.
Chapter 15
Julie pressed her hand to the closed elevator and let out a long breath before turning and walking past Cade.
"What's up, Doc? What was that all about?" He moved up beside her and pressed his shoulder against hers.
"Nothing. I need a fifteen-minute break and then we'll get back together and look over the details of our scheduled procedure this afternoon." She turned the corner and slipped into her office, not giving him time to respond.
Cade had an issue with personal space from what she could tell, but it didn't bother her too terribly much. He was a nice distraction from her own shitty situation. Nothing would ever happen between them, which was a great relief. She was too lost to Simon, or she tried to convince herself that she was.
The smell of the lilies hit her in the face before she saw the large bouquet sitting on her desk. A soft gasp left her as she set her clipboard down and moved toward them, leaning in and breathing deeply.
She plucked the small card from the side of them and opened it, reading over Simon's accolades for her brilliance twice before setting it down.
"Thank you," she mumbled and crossed her arms over her chest. There was no better feeling in the world than to know her husband, who she applauded so much within his specialization, thought she was brilliant and accomplished. "For thinking I'm capable."
She forced back the strong emotions that rolled through her and pressed her hands to the desk in front of her. She needed to make a decision and quick. She pulled her phone from her pocket and sent a note to her lawyer, who happened to be a good friend of her Uncle Charlie. He texted back that he would start on the paperwork now.
She and Simon had to draw the line in the sand and separate completely. If they mended the fissure between them over time, or love truly proved to be enough to heal all that had happened, she would be grateful, but standing in the gap was over.
She touched the beautiful flowers and wrapped her hand around the closest one, squeezing it tightly until it wilted.
"I'm sorry I can't do this," she whispered and let the flower go.
Julie stopped by the small bathroom in her office suite and fixed her eye makeup before walking down to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee. She knew Simon was hurting after seeing her and Cade together, but they were business associates and nothing else. He could imagine what he wanted to. Most people who were unfaithful were quick to assign that characteristic to their faithful spouse just because it helped to ease their own distain with themselves.
She poured the black liquid into the biggest cup she could find and added a few sugars and a touch of cream. The deep voice beside her caused her to jump.
"Elijah. You scared me." She smiled over at him as she worked to get the top onto her afternoon pick-me-up.
"Sorry. I just wanted to warn you that Simon was in my office a few minutes ago and he's less than pleased that I've assigned you an intern that I guess looks like him when he was younger." Elijah rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry if this causes you trouble."
"It’s good. Cade does remind me a bit of Simon, but it’s nothing to be concerned with. I'm not my husband. I'm here to do a job, and though the kid’s a little flirty, what college-aged guy isn't?" She shrugged and tried to play off the fact that her insides were turning to mush. Simon had reacted to her and Cade because in his mind, she was no better than him.
"Right. I just wanted to give you a heads up." Elijah reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "You hanging in there? Charity asked me to touch base with you today. She's worried."
"I'm good. Simon got his stuff out of the house this morning and I've contacted my lawyer, so things are going as best they can." She shrugged and smiled at Cade as he approached behind Elijah.
"No hope left?" Elijah asked.
"I'm not sure, but I can't just stand still in a storm. I have to run. It's the only thing that makes sense." She turned to Cade. "I grabbed a cup of coffee. Get something and I'll pick it up."
"And let a pretty lady buy my stuff? Never." Cade smiled and extended his hand. "Dr. Bennet! Sir! Good to see you again."
"You as well, Cade. I just spoke with your father. He's quite happy to hear you're managing so far." Elijah smiled professionally.
Julie cringed internally. It had to suck to have to be politically correct all the time and snuggle up to people, no matter how you might truly feel about them. Good thing Cade really seemed to be a relatively good guy.
"I love it here. Dr. Paulk is an excellent teacher. I feel like I could learn more here than any other place I've visited." Cade smiled and turned. "I'm getting a Coke. You guys want anything else? It's on Julie, so..."
Julie laughed and shook her head. "All right, funny guy."
He walked off and Julie turned to face Elijah. "I'm doing okay. Tell Charity that I'll call her tonight. It's not me you need to be worried about, but Simon. I'm not sure he's doing okay at all."
"I'll find him and touch base with him. Call if you need me. I'll be here for a little while longer today." He reached out and touched her shoulder again. "I think you should really reconsider on the divorce. Those things have a mark of finality that is hard to come back from."
"Thanks. I'll think about it a little more." She smiled sadly and adverted her eyes to her coffee.
Elijah walked off and Julie let out a long breath, turning and yelping as Cade stood directly behind her.
"What's going on? You seem upset all of a sudden. Something to do with that guy in the hall?" His brow lifted as his hand moved to touch the side of her face. "I don't like the sadness at the edge of your eyes."
Julie reached up and carefully removed his hand from her face. "No touching, okay? It's not professional."
He chuckled. "I'm not being professional right now, Julie. I want to know what's wrong."
"It's nothing. Stick to the script, okay? We're not friends. We're business associates." She crinkled her nose and forced a smile, trying to help him accept the truth in a non-threatening way.
"What if I want us to be friends?" He smiled and lifted his cup to his lips, his warm brown gaze watching her closely.
"The
n take a ticket and get in line, mister. Everyone wants to be friends with this." She flipped her hair and walked to the checkout counter as he chuckled behind her.
"Why am I not surprised?" He extended his badge and pushed at her hand as she tried to pay. "No. I got this. You pay for our steak dinner."
"Steak dinner?" She laughed. "That ain't happening."
"I bet it is." He pressed his arm against her shoulder as they walked back down the hall. "Let's review the procedure and go kick some ass together."
"All right." She nodded and forced all of the negative emotion from her thoughts. It would be fun to teach Cade how to work through the procedure they were schedule for with methodical precision. She glanced over at him and hated the subtle flutter of butterflies in her stomach as he glanced over at her.
"What?" He held the door to her office open.
"Nothing. I'm just excited to teach you what I've learned." She moved into the room and picked the flowers up, putting them on her file cabinet and almost feeling guilty about being excited.
"Me too." He nodded to the flowers. "Got an admirer?"
"Lots." She smirked and pulled out a file. Was she seriously flirting with this guy?
"I'm not surprised. You're the most beautiful woman in this whole place. Believe me... I've been comparing you guys." He chuckled and moved up to stand behind her before leaning over and pressing his hands on the desk.
"You’re comparing me to the guys? That’s probably why I’m winning.” She decided to err on the side of teasing and then frowned. “That’s tacky, by the way. You're showing your age." She pulled out a few pictures of the surgery they would be performing and glanced over at him, which put their faces a little too close together.
"How is that tacky? I'm a single guy with a lot of love to give. I'm just seeing who's available to accept it. I'm twenty-four. Shallow is part of the initial criteria for being effective in picking the right woman." He licked his lips and glanced down toward hers.
"Well, I'm not available, so mark me off your list if I happen to make the cut." She shook her head and turned to stare at the file.
