“See ya around, neighbor,” I called out as she walked away, those heels making her legs look a mile long. She was definitely worth taking a shot at.
I headed home after doing some cardio and legs at the gym, feeling a little more optimistic in general. Payton knew who I was and could find me if she wanted. In the meantime, I had plenty of options waiting to keep me company.
Lorelei had offered to have a drink with me if I ever wanted to and I couldn’t forget Kylie who was apparently my neighbor. I usually didn’t go out with coworkers but Lorelei was innocent. I could see her being a good friend and figured I’d be able to help her make a name for herself in the publishing world.
After sending a text to confirm meeting Lorelei for drinks at the bar down the street, I showered and decided to Facebook search Payton/Reece to see if I could find out how she was doing. Reece’s page had generic posts about other books releasing soon but nothing personal on there. I wasn’t sure of Payton’s last name but looked through Reece’s fans and found a Payton Davenport and the picture was definitely her.
“Who knew spending a few weeks at a beach across the world could make such a difference. Glad to be back home <3”
She was back in San Diego. I felt a little better knowing where she was and that she was safe.
Lorelei was easy to talk to but was more on a little sister level than any of the girls I talked to. I think she knew since she didn’t think twice when she brought up her fiancé and how they wanted to start a family within the next few years. She was also the only girl I didn’t mind talking to about my one-night stands and relationships. She knew about Payton, but not that Payton was also the author I was trying to sign.
“So, what gives? You’re back here and from the sounds of it, aren’t getting any. So what happened and how did you fuck it up?” Lorelei questions as she takes a sip of her long island.
“I didn’t fuck it up—technically. I mean, I found out some stuff and confronted her about it. She didn’t take it so well.” I rub my neck, looking anywhere but at Lorelei. She knew my expressions too well and she’d know that I was torn up about not having Payton.
“And you’re giving up or just giving her time?”
“Both? She got the wrong impression, and I know I need to fix it, but she ran from me. She needs to figure her shit out before we talk again. Plus, I don’t think she’ll want me even if I do try to get her back.” I finally looked up and saw understanding in her eyes. Thank fuck. I didn’t want her trying to persuade me to go after Payton.
“Just go with it. If she comes back, great. Don’t stop being you while you wait, though. When you aren’t getting any, we all know about it.” Seeing her cheeky grin caused me to smile as well. She was probably right, I was an even bigger dick at work when I wasn’t getting laid.
I left the bar looking forward to whatever was planned for me in the future. Whether or not it had Payton in it, I wasn’t sure.
My mind kept wandering back to my earlier encounter with Kylie. Her nipples were erect and visible through her silk blouse, just begging to be licked. I considered walking up to her door and asking for a cup of sugar but came to the conclusion that it was too lame. I needed a reason to talk to her. Real estate? I wasn’t planning on moving anytime soon but maybe I could ask for a friend of mine who wanted to move closer to the area. It wasn’t the most creative way to talk to a girl but it was normal enough that if she wasn’t interested in me I wouldn’t have to avoid her in the future.
I ended up waiting three days before making my way to 14A. It was enough time for me not to look desperate but not enough time for her to forget about our encounter. I waited until a little after seven to give her enough time to get home from work and errands and crossed my fingers that she was home.
I was about to leave after knocking twice with no response when I heard shuffling from behind the door. She opened the door with her elbow as she finished throwing her hair up into a messy ponytail. She had on black capri yoga pants and a loose neon orange tank top over a black sports bra. Even in workout clothes she was sexy.
“Sorry it took me so long to get to the door. I was just about to take a shower from working out and had to get redressed. Ryder, right? What’s up, neighbor?” She still seemed pumped up on adrenaline from whatever workout she had just finished. Her cheeks were flushed and she was bouncing lightly on her feet.
“I was just thinking I could ask for some advice on real estate in the area for a buddy of mine. I didn’t mean to interrupt you, though. I can come back another time.” I still had no idea if she was into me or if she was even available. I wasn’t ready to fully hit on her until I got a better feel for what I was dealing with.
“I’ll only be a few minutes. Come on in and make yourself at home. I’m sure the layout isn’t too different from yours. Feel free to grab a beer or water from the fridge; I also opened up some wine a little bit ago if you want.” She was quick with her words but at least welcoming. She had a bright smile that showcased those dimples I had thought about so often. She held the door wide open, waiting for me to make myself at home and I figured it would be alright whether or not we ended up as friends or more. Any girl who stocked her fridge with beer was okay in my book.
“You’re place looks nothing like mine, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with the décor of yours.” I walked around her living room, mesmerized by the black and white photos that were similar to the ones directly above or below them. The first one I noticed was of a middle aged couple walking along the beach. Above it was a much older couple in the same type of pose on the beach. Below both photos was a photo of two children, maybe five or six, that were also walking along the same beach. Were they related to her? I made note to ask her.
In the kitchen, there was the same set up of photos but of two women baking what looked like a cake or possibly cookies. One of the women had powdered sugar or flour on her cheek and both women were laughing. It was the same in the other two photos as well.
After browsing through a few other sets of photos and grabbing a beer, I went to make myself comfy on her loveseat but got sidetracked when I saw her bookshelf beside the TV. The books weren’t classics by any means, some of them being self published by the looks of it. I didn’t take Kylie for being a reader but was impressed by her collection. She had multiple books by SE Hall and also a handful from Jillian Dodd. I added their names into my phone to check them out later.
She dried her hair with a towel as she walked back into her living room, heading toward the bookshelf to meet me. “You found my stash I guess. I’m glad you haven’t found my kindle yet! I have hundreds on there but those are some of my favorites. I’ve met some of the hottest, most perfect fictional boyfriends in those books.”
“Really now? How excited you just got telling me about them shows how much you love reading about them. They must be pretty amazing. I may have to go to you when I’m looking for a new author I guess. Are you sure I’m not stopping you from any other plans?” We had both made our way to the sofa and were sitting in a way that each of one of our knees were touching. She seemed comfortable with me and it was nice to feel so trusted after just meeting each other.
“No plans, I promise. I try to have a night or two each week where I have nothing planned and have a ‘me’ night. No rules, no schedules, just go with the flow. It usually ends up with me in shorts and a t-shirt catching up on reality TV or shopping online but it’s totally worth it. You were lucky enough to catch me on one of these nights.”
“I’m glad I have luck on my side then. Am I lucky enough to find a beautiful woman in my complex that doesn’t have a boyfriend also? If that’s the case, I may need to go buy a lottery ticket.” I couldn’t help but add the cheesy lottery ticket phrase. She was smiling which in turn caused me to as well. I took that as a good sign.
“Buy me one while you’re at the gas station since I, said beautiful woman, also found herself a handsome man a few doors down.” Yep. We were both cheesy but it was fun.
“What kind of reality TV were you planning, or not planning, on watching tonight? I don’t want to mess up any of your non-plans for the night.” I scooted a little closer to her and made myself comfortable.
“One where there are a bunch of models living in the same house, competing to see who’s best. It’s fun to see the competitions and photo shoots. Girls are always having meltdowns which can be entertaining too. I can make some popcorn and make a night out of it if you want to hang out a bit. Then we can totally talk about anything real estate related for your friend. I just need to unwind a bit first.”
It wasn’t on my normal list of shows to watch but I think I could handle watching models on TV for an hour. I mean, it would be difficult but I was up for the challenge.
After the show was over, I tried to come up with questions that I didn’t need the answers to about real estate. I could tell she had a real passion for selling homes as her eyes lit up and she couldn’t get a breath in when she was going over what was hot and why it was such a good time to buy. I went along with it, but after two questions, she just started going off on tangents so I sat back and ogled her. When she was excited about something, she would touch the back of her head, like she was fluffing her hair in the back. I counted and she did it a total of nine times that visit. We all have our quirks, and I didn’t mind hers so far.
“Why’d you really come over here, Ryder? I know you aren’t that excited about what I do for a living. There are a thousand different realtors in LA and San Diego I’m sure that could have helped your friend. Wanna spill?” I gave her credit for being observant. I also needed to work on my pretending-to-act-interested skills. I used to be able to get away with that shit with girls.
“You seemed to be someone I’d get along with and I was curious to get to know you a little better. I don’t know too many people in the building, either, so if nothing else, I met a new neighbor.” She apparently liked that answer since she scooted closer to me.
“I do like meeting new neighbors. You’re completely single, right?” My thoughts immediately went to Payton. I missed her. I was nowhere close to being in a relationship with her but felt a twinge of guilt. I knew my chances with Payton were near zero and needed this with Kylie. It would help me move on or at least distract me for a while.
“That I am. Did you have something in mind for how the rest of your unplanned night was going to go?” I could see her trying to make a decision, playing with her small pink sapphire ring on her left index finger.
“It’s okay; you can walk me through what you’re thinking. I promise not to laugh or judge. I can see your gears turning and am curious what your options are.” Hopefully that gave her the nudge she needed.
“Well, I should call it a night and walk you out that door. That would be the good girl thing to do.” She slid her hand over my stomach as she finished her thought. “What I am tempted to do is see if you want to watch a movie on the couch with me and hope you don’t get the wrong impression about me. I’m not usually this comfortable with a guy, but you seem…comfy? Is that okay to say?”
I had never been called comfy before and was now on a mission to give her a new word to think of when she thought of me. Sexy as hell, man of pure awesomeness, dark and dangerous, or sex on a stick would be my first choices.
“I would love nothing more than to watch a movie with you. I’m even okay with a chick flick if that’s what you desire.” I wasn’t planning on watching much of the movie so it didn’t really matter.
“Varsity Blues sound good to you? It’s one of my favorites and I’m in the mood for a classic.” I was in the mood for some whipped cream covered titties but I kept that bit of information quiet. It may not be the best way to get close to her.
Payton
I thought about leaving Tate with a note when I woke up but decided he deserved a real goodbye. Waking up with him next to me, I could see the sadness in his eyes. He knew how it was going to play out.
“Stay here with me. Give me a few more days with you, at least. You said last night that the other guy isn’t in the picture anymore. Let me show you how amazing we can be together. I want this, Payton, more than anything.” He motioned between us, scooting closer so that our naked bodies were nearly touching under the covers.
“I’m not what you need, Tate. I can’t give all of myself to you. I want to, but it just won’t work out that way. You are so genuine and driven, you’ll always have a spot in my heart and I hope we can still remain close. There has to be some woman in Chicago that’s worth what you have to give, though. When you meet her, you better damn well tell me, too! I’ll give my stamp of approval for ya.” I smiled slightly, but in reality, I hated having to go through that with him.
“Move to Chicago so that there will be a girl there that’s worth it.” He remained optimistic which crushed my soul. I fell for Ryder and he was the only one my heart wanted. Even though I had ruined the prospect of Ryder and me being together, my heart didn’t give a fuck. It knew what it wanted and wasn’t planning on letting anyone else in.
I pressed a soft kiss on Tate’s lips and murmured, “I’ll always be there for you and you’ll always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for showing me how it feels to be loved.” I swung my legs out of bed and headed over to my suitcase to get dressed.
I hoped that Tate would still want to be my friend but would understand either way. I really did want the best for him; I just wasn’t it for him. He watched quietly as I got ready for the day and all I wanted to do was comfort him, but I couldn’t.
“I should get back to the guys, wedding stuff, you know?” He looked everywhere but me as he started to slowly head toward the door.
That wasn’t how our goodbye should be. I quickly ran over to him and gave him the biggest hug I could, kissing him on the shoulder because he was so much taller than me since I was barefoot.
“We’ll see each other again, but let’s do somewhere other than Vegas.” I smiled at how completely over the city I was. “Stay in touch, Tate.”
“I will, Payton. Hey, don’t make that guy wait two years like you did me. Don’t be afraid to get hurt or else you’re only hurting yourself and the people who love you even more.”
“Thank you, Tate. I’ll see you around.” I watched him walk down the hall, away from me. I had let two amazing guys out of my life within twenty-four hours. I realized then that I truly was all alone. I hoped that time would fix the mess I’d created, because I wasn’t sure what my next step should be.
*****
I left Vegas later that morning and headed to the Bahamas with a stopover in Atlanta. I missed the beach but needed to get far, far away from the West Coast. I didn’t mind traveling alone and welcomed the idea of having peace and quiet where no one could find me. I didn’t bother telling anyone where I was going but sent Chloe a text saying I’d be back in a few weeks.
Nassau was a tourist city but lounging around on the beach all day and swimming in the aquamarine water was heaven for me. Having Atlantis nearby was also a selling feature when I picked the destination. Being able to gamble and layout under the Caribbean sun all in the same day was just what I needed.
The shops were much of the same, selling shot glasses, gifts made of shells, and other tourist memorabilia, but they also had a wealth of designer named stores. I had my fill of Michael Kors, Chanel, and Tortuga rum cake within the first week of being on the island. I hung out near the docking area when new cruise ships unloaded passengers for the day. It was fun to find hot guys in their twenties who were out to have a good time. I often pondered the idea that it wouldn’t be a bad place to do a little, uh, research for my next book. The men were there for a day or two and were looking for some quick fun with low risk.
I met a fraternity boy who had found his girlfriend in a compromising position with his frat brother on the ninth deck of the cruise ship he was on. He wasn’t looking for revenge sex but it might as well have been. I could tell he was still torn up about
being stuck on a ship, in the same room as his cheating girl- ex-girlfriend. His mind was elsewhere but he sure had stamina. I would give him a ‘B’ for effort and an ‘A’ for endurance.
Most of the time, I flip flopped between the poker tables and the beach. The warm white sand underneath me along with the soft crashing of the waves often lulled me to sleep. I dreamt many times of Ryder and how things could have turned out if I was a normal woman. Thinking about us together on a deserted island or tucked away in a cabin in the mountains seemed pleasant.
It was two weeks into my Caribbean vacation and I finally felt free and open to whatever I had to face when I returned to San Diego. I was done worrying about letting guys get too close to me. Tate and Ryder had shown me how good it felt to feel wanted and in a not only sexual way. I was curious to see how it felt if I fully let someone in. I know I could get hurt, but hell, I was excited for the journey.
Tate was a sweetheart but there was something there that made me wary of him. I didn’t know enough about his past or present for that matter but something was off. I was curious why he hadn’t settled down.
Ryder was the one that I felt like getting to know better. I wasn’t ready to forgive him for how he went about the whole Reece situation but I realized I didn’t really give him a chance to explain himself. I needed answers from him. I couldn’t get over the fact that he knew who I really was. Did he write those letters? I wasn’t sure what to believe about Ryder anymore and hated how normal we seemed before I went off to Las Vegas. He came after me. Was it out of passion or possessiveness?
I didn’t have the answers and being in The Bahamas wasn’t going to fix all of my problems. I wasn’t sure if I would seek Ryder out but at least I was feeling more myself than I had been the previous few weeks. I was ready for a change and ready to get back to some normalcy of my so called life.
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