by Maisey Yates
This was a one-off kind of thing. Like Kaylee had said, they had both been celibate for a long time. Not really by choice, just by circumstance. And they had both needed to scratch the itch. They had scratched it good, but the damn thing about itches was that scratching just made them itch more. Which was about where he was at the moment.
And it was a pretty good indicator that he was going to have to stop.
Let it be a thing that happened once under the cover of darkness with no witnesses except maybe one perverted owl in a tree.
That was the beauty of the compromised lighting situation. He had seen Kaylee naked. But he hadn’t really seen her naked. It had been an impressionistic nude. Rather than how it might have been if the lights were on, harsh and bright. If he had gotten a good look at all that skin, at the exact shape of her breasts, the color of her nipples, the recovery would be a lot more difficult. The comedown would be a lot harder.
If he knew exactly what color that thatch of curls between her legs was, if he knew how pink she was there...yeah. He couldn’t be thinking that every time he went into work in the morning. Couldn’t be obsessing about it whenever they had a beer.
He needed her. All of her. Not just her body.
She had always been there for him. She had been there for him tonight in a more profound way than usual, but it was kind of an extension of their friendship in many ways. Giving each other what they needed.
Well, that’s bullshit and even you know it.
Whatever. He was sticking with bullshit for now. It was that or open up the door and jump out of the moving vehicle. Tuck and roll and hope for the best.
“I’m sure,” she said. He sneaked a glance over at her and saw that she was looking out the window, gripping on to the shoulder strap of her seat belt like it was a lifeline. Like maybe it was the only thing keeping her from jumping out of the truck.
It didn’t surprise him at all that they were on the same page. That was how they worked.
He hesitated. “Thank you,” he said finally.
“Thank you?” Her voice sounded hollow.
“Yes. I really... It’s been a hell of a couple weeks. It’s been a hell of a few months. And I...I needed that.”
“You needed that,” she echoed.
“Yeah.”
“Me too.” But there was something strange in her voice, an edge that he couldn’t quite place. He didn’t know what he had done wrong, but he had a feeling he’d done something wrong.
Hell if he knew what.
Maybe the sex?
But no. She’d wanted it. And she’d been into it. Way into it. She’d gotten off, same as him. So it couldn’t be that.
“Kaylee...”
“It’s fine,” she said. “Just weird.”
Thank God she’d said it. “Really fucking weird,” he acknowledged.
“Yeah,” she said, forcing a laugh out.
They pulled back into town. The saloon was still open, packed with people, even more than when they had left an hour or two earlier. Just a couple of hours to shift the foundation of his life. That was the theme recently.
His girlfriend breaking up with him during a Christmas celebration on a crowded street, effectively blowing up the future he’d had planned. A son he didn’t know he had showing up on his front porch, absolutely destroying any last remaining illusions he’d had that he could control the world or his life.
Getting naked with his best friend.
Yeah. The last few months were just one life-changing moment after another.
This didn’t have to be one, though. Maybe.
It was just him and Kaylee. And they were stronger than anything. Solid. Close enough to weather this, that was for damn sure.
“I’m over here,” she said softly, pointing a block up.
“I’ll see you later,” he said.
“Yeah,” she agreed.
She bailed out of the truck quickly, stumbling a little bit when her feet hit the sidewalk. “Bye,” she said.
Then she turned away from him and walked back toward her own truck. He watched her until she got in, until she started the vehicle and drove away.
And then he just sat there for a moment, a hard knot building in his chest, growing, expanding.
No. This was going to be okay. It had to be.
He headed back out toward his house and was relieved to see that his brother’s truck was still in the driveway.
He sighed heavily and got out of his own truck, crossing the gravel drive and making his way up the steps. Wyatt opened the door before Bennett’s hand touched the doorknob.
“Hey,” Wyatt said.
“How is Dallas?”
“He went to his room about a half an hour ago. Probably not sleeping. Back in the Dark Ages we would have had porn under the mattress. I hear tell you can look at porn on smartphones nowadays and I imagine he has one...”
Bennett snorted. “You hear tell? Like you don’t know where to get porn.”
Wyatt lifted a shoulder. “It does give incentive to adapt to new technology, that’s for sure.”
“Was he...”
He didn’t even really know what to ask. Wyatt jerked his head toward the inside of the house, and Bennett followed him in. Then Wyatt opened up the fridge and pulled a couple of beers out.
“He was fine,” Wyatt said. “I mean, I don’t have any experience with kids, so honestly, thank God your surprise one is past puberty. Makes them a hell of a lot easier in many ways. If you had randomly ended up with a toddler, I would have been off the babysitting list.”
“He was fine, though?”
“He played on the Nintendo thing.” Wyatt popped the top off his beer and took a swig. “And we didn’t talk much. Mostly about some of the work we had coming up on the ranch that I was going to give him. But you know, he seems fine.”
Bennett blew out a long, slow breath. At least there was one relationship maybe he wasn’t screwing up.
“You’re not home that late,” Wyatt pointed out, looking a little disappointed on Bennett’s behalf.
“Late enough, apparently,” Bennett said meaningfully.
Wyatt arched a brow. “Now, you’re implying that you got laid, but you look like somebody just dropped an anvil on your head. That doesn’t make any sense to me.”
Bennett popped open the beer bottle and took a long drink, then he rested his elbows on the table and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I had sex with Kaylee.”
He waited for his brother’s shocked response. Waited for any response at all. It didn’t come. Bennett looked up slowly and was met by Wyatt’s completely blank expression.
“Did you hear what I just said?” he asked, exasperation coursing through him.
He was standing there staring at the smoking rubble of his life, and his brother didn’t even have the decency to look surprised.
“Yes,” Wyatt said slowly. “You slept with Kaylee.”
“Doesn’t that shock you?”
“No. Don’t you guys...” Wyatt frowned. “Are you telling me you’d never had sex with her before tonight?”
“Wyatt,” Bennett said, “she’s my best friend.”
“Yes. Your best friend who happens to have female anatomy. I figured you guys slept together when you weren’t seeing other people. I thought that was your arrangement all this time.”
Bennett felt...scandalized. And given the recent events of tonight he had no right to feel that way. But Wyatt thought...did everyone think that?
“Hell, no,” Bennett said.
“I figured you had a damn good thing going there, Bennett.”
“I do. Friendship. Only friendship. Until tonight.”
“Now that I find shocking.”
“Why?”
“I’ve never been friends with a woman and not slept with her. Really, I’ve
never been friends with a woman.”
“Isn’t Kaylee your friend?”
“Like a family friend,” Wyatt said. “That’s different. It’s not like I hang out with her alone, constantly all the time. You and Kaylee do.” Wyatt shook his head and lifted the beer bottle to his lips. “You must have balls of titanium.”
“I just never saw her like that before,” Bennett said through gritted teeth.
That wasn’t entirely true. He’d been noticing her more and more lately. But in the grand scheme of things, it was almost never.
“You never saw a gorgeous, leggy redhead as a sex object before? I take it back, you don’t have balls of titanium. You have broken balls.”
“They feel pretty busted at the moment,” Bennett said.
“I just mean that’s a whole level of denial that I can’t even get into, bro,” Wyatt said. “If you didn’t see her as sexy before, you were trying not to.”
“She’s my best friend. There are always going to be women to sleep with, but man, woman, there’s no one like her. No one that’s been in my life all this time. I work with her. I go out and have a beer with her.”
“And now you have sex with her. It’s perfect, in my opinion.”
“I don’t and I’m never going to be able to see it like you do.”
“Sex isn’t that complicated, Bennett. You want some, you have some. People don’t have to get hurt. That’s all mental stuff that doesn’t have to be there. It’s about expectations.”
Bennett shook his head. “I don’t agree with that. I think it means something.” Yet he’d been about to go out and get some meaningless sex tonight, but in general, he didn’t really believe sex could be meaningless. Which was one reason this was bugging him. “It just isn’t that casual for me.”
“Well, why the hell not?”
“Sex isn’t a handshake, Wyatt.”
“No,” Wyatt said, “it isn’t. Because when I shake someone’s hand I’m usually making an agreement of some kind. When it comes to sex, I’m not agreeing to anything beyond a little bit of fun.”
“Someday,” Bennett said, “some woman is going to screw with your head. And I’m going to look forward to watching that.”
“Not me,” Wyatt said, kicking his feet up onto the table and leaning back. “I’m immune.” He punctuated the sentence with another drink of beer.
“You’re cocky.”
“It’s served me well so far. You don’t ride bulls for fifteen years without being a hell of a lot of cocky. And anyway, with that came a lot of women, Bennett. Trust me. I know my limits. I don’t have many.”
“That doesn’t help me.”
“It should. You’re going through a hell of a time right now, and obviously, you needed some stress release. It stands to reason you would end up looking for it with a woman that you know. That you like. Since this conversation leads me to believe that casual sex really isn’t for you. Also, she’s pretty. She’s really pretty.”
“She is,” Bennett said, remembering the way that her skin had felt beneath his fingertips. Remembering how it had felt to kiss her.
The slick friction of her tongue against his, the greedy glide of her hands down his back.
She was beautiful, and she had definitely been into it.
“Right,” Bennett said. “I guess that’s true.”
“Bottom line, even though you’re friends, you’re a man and she’s a woman. And you’re only human.”
“I didn’t just have sex with her because she’s a woman,” Bennett said. “And it wasn’t just because she was there. I could have found someone else.”
But the way she had looked at him when she’d said she didn’t want him leaving with anyone else... Well, in that moment there couldn’t have been anyone else. It had nothing to do with proximity or availability. He couldn’t reduce it to that. Because there had been something magic in it being her.
He gritted his teeth, fought against that thought.
Because he didn’t want to think about all that magic the next time he saw her. He didn’t need that between them. But she knew him. She knew everything he was going through and then some.
Maybe that was why he needed it to be her. Just maybe.
“Sex doesn’t have to build or destroy anything,” Wyatt said, standing up and clapping Bennett on the back. “Sometimes it just feels good. Don’t overthink it.”
Bennett nodded slowly.
“I’ll see you at some point tomorrow, when you drop the kid off.”
“Sure,” Bennett said.
“He’s a good kid,” Wyatt said, his tone suddenly taking on a more serious note. “A hard worker. He’s a natural at it. Ranch stuff. I’m glad to have him on my team, and not just because he’s my secret nephew I never knew about.”
“He is a good kid,” Bennett said, believing it all the way to his core, not really understanding why.
“See you later.”
And then Wyatt left, his advice still ringing in Bennett’s ears. His brother telling him that sex didn’t have to build or destroy anything was about the most ironic thing on the planet given that Bennett’s secret son was currently sleeping down the hall.
But maybe with Kaylee it didn’t need to affect anything. Maybe Wyatt was right. He had needed something, and they had been there for each other. And it didn’t have to be life altering or world rocking.
Too bad his world felt so damned rocked.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE NEXT MORNING, Bennett woke up without a single idea of what had happened the night before. But he did wake up with the idea that Dallas needed to start helping with chores around their place.
Because it was their place. And if they were going to share it then they were going to have to work it together. Dallas was going to have to learn to take responsibility for the land he called home.
The kid was less shocked at getting yanked out of bed at six o’clock than he had been at the beginning of all of this. Early mornings were becoming the norm, and Bennett found himself vaguely amused when Dallas stumbled into the kitchen without complaint and poured himself a cup of coffee from the coffee maker.
Bennett had taken to stocking the house with various pastries, since that seemed to add an extra incentive for Dallas to get out of bed, and they were not going to the coffeehouse every morning.
The rumor was sweeping slowly through town that Bennett Dodge had a son. The details were definitely fuzzy in said rumor, seeing as Bennett hadn’t gone out of his way to provide any.
And he hadn’t called his dad yet. There was that.
But he just didn’t know how to broach the subject with Quinn Dodge. Not that he wasn’t a good, understanding man—he was. But...it was just a conversation he wasn’t looking forward to having, especially not over the phone.
“A little bit early for a wake-up call,” Dallas mumbled, taking his first sip of coffee and grabbing a doughnut out of a box at the center of the table.
“Yeah, well, we have some extra work to do this morning. Or, you do.”
“I do?”
“Yes. I’m going to teach you how to take care of the animals here. I know you got a basic ranching primer from my brother, but I figure it’s time you took some responsibility for this place.”
“That sounds like unpaid labor,” Dallas said, unimpressed.
“It is,” Bennett said. “But it isn’t. You live here. That means that this is yours too. That means that the payment is getting to live in a place that you enjoy. But here, we’ve got lots of land and we got animals that live on that land. They need to be taken care of.”
As if understanding they were part and parcel to the topic being discussed, Pepper and Cheddar scooted closer to the table. Though, it probably had less to do with the topic of discussion and more to do with the fact that a sprinkle had just fallen off the top o
f Dallas’s doughnut and landed on the floor. Pepper snaffled it up, and Cheddar looked at Dallas, clearly irritated that her counterpart had gotten a piece of sugar and she hadn’t.
Bennett watched, amused as Dallas flicked a couple more sprinkles off the doughnut and onto the floor. He looked over at Dallas, his expression sheepish. “It wasn’t fair,” he pointed out.
“No,” Bennett agreed in mock seriousness. “And they keep score.”
“I get that feeling about them.”
“You like the dogs,” Bennett said.
“Well, you can’t not like dogs. I mean, you can, I guess. But when you live in a house with them it’s kind of hard.”
“Hey, I won’t tell anyone you like something. But I just mean, you got used to the dogs, maybe you’ll like the rest of the animals.”
After they finished their caffeine, they headed outside, Dallas wearing a hoodie that he had pulled up almost over his face, his hand stuffed in his pockets.
He guarded any expressions of enjoyment closely, definitely did his best to keep most of his feelings to himself. It made Bennett wonder what had happened to make him see happiness as something that was too expensive to get out.
He had vague ideas, and all of them made his stomach turn.
He took Dallas into the barn, where the horses were still in their stalls. “Okay, so this girl here,” he said, indicating the first stall, “gets two flakes of hay in the morning.” He walked over to one of the bales of hay. “Has Wyatt explained this to you yet?”
Dallas shook his head. “I haven’t fed any of the horses on my own.”
Bennett walked over to one of the hay bales that was already untwined and gripped the edge of a wedge of it, separating it easily from the rest. “This is a flake. They’ll come off pretty easily. It’s the way the bales are put together. So, Lucy here is on a diet. Two flakes of hay in the morning and two at night for her. No grain. She gets a vitamin supplement instead.”
He moved on to the next stall. “Shadrach gets two and a scoop of grain. The scoop is in that trash barrel over there, and it’s pretty self-explanatory in terms of measurement.”
“And Meshach gets two flakes and two scoops of grain. It’s a lot, but he’s pretty skinny, having trouble keeping meat on his bones.”
