by Maisey Yates
“Which you won’t be able to do if you’re not functioning. I don’t expect you to be working twenty-four hours a day. That’s not reasonable.”
“Well, I’m fine,” she said, stretching and then standing. “Just tired. And hungry.”
“I did bring food.”
He held up a bag and she sniffed the air. “What did you bring?”
“Burgers,” he said. “From Mustard Seed. I brought regular fries and sweet potato fries. I didn’t know what your philosophical stance was.”
“I will put any french fry in my mouth. All of them. So, I hope that you got two orders of each. Because if you didn’t...I’m still eating them all.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I got four orders.”
“Perfect,” she said, standing up and rubbing her hands together. She really was starving. Beyond reason. And suddenly, all she could think of was how perfect it would be to eat a hamburger.
Which was much less unsettling than pondering the merits of devouring Jackson’s mouth.
He set the paper bag down on the table, and she crowded around, digging inside and pulling out one of the containers of fries. The sweet potato. She dug into them immediately while Jackson sorted through the rest.
“Beer?” he asked, heading toward the fridge.
“Coke,” she said. “A beer is just going to put me to sleep.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” he said, but returned with a beer for him and a Coke for her.
“I need to be able to wake back up if Lily needs something.”
He frowned. “Let me take a shift tonight.”
“No. I already told you. This is my job. And I really don’t mind doing it.”
“And I told you that I don’t expect you to work twenty-four hours a day. I want you sharp enough to take care of her tomorrow. That means you need to sleep tonight.”
“Jackson, I will tell you when I need you to be a mother hen. That time is not now.”
His lips quirked upward into a smile, and she recalled the fantasies she’d been having about those lips not long before. “A mother hen?” He shook his head. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been accused of that.”
“Well. You’re being ridiculous. I’m a grown woman, and if I need something I have no problem letting you know.”
“Is that right?” His dark eyes burned into hers, and her heart leaped up in her chest. It was not a caring look. It was...loaded. It made her stomach tighten. Made her fingers feel numb.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she said, stuffing a french fry in her mouth and chewing indelicately.
“Like what?”
“You know. If I... If I know, then it’s really not very subtle, Jackson.”
“I’m not looking at you like anything,” he said. “Because things need to stay professional between us. I was pondering that earlier today.”
“Were you?”
“I was.”
“Why did you...” She hated herself for asking this question, but she was going to anyway. “Why did you come to that conclusion?”
“Because I was having some decidedly unprofessional thoughts,” he acknowledged, his voice getting rough, the heat in his eyes intensifying.
She shifted, stuffing another french fry in her mouth.
“That...” She cleared her throat and reached down for the burger that he had put in front of her. “I hope this has onions on it.”
He chuckled. “Believe me. Onions are not a deterrent. The fact that you’re taking care of Lily? That is.”
“Right.” She took a bite of the burger and moaned. She hadn’t meant to have such an obvious response to eating a burger, but she was starving. When she looked up, Jackson was watching her far too closely.
They ate in silence for a while, a strange awareness settling over her. They had acknowledged it. And he hadn’t denied it. Not at all. He was attracted to her.
It was strange. She didn’t consider herself the kind of woman men like him would be attracted to. She wasn’t stunningly beautiful. She was tall, and some men were into that, but since she had never been big on dating, she hadn’t much explored it. And then, she had been married and found out what a disappointment she was as a sex object, so really, this whole thing with Jackson was weird.
He was attracted to her. She was attracted to him. Right from the beginning. From that first moment they had seen each other in the airport.
The problem was, it was all a lie.
Well, the real problem was Lily. But beyond that, even if they were two strangers that just met... Whatever he thought being with her might feel like...he was wrong.
Whatever her own body thought being with Jackson might do to her, it wouldn’t.
“I’m not that exciting,” she said. “Really. In fact, I think if you’re actually finding yourself attracted to me right about now it’s mostly because of the forbidden aspect to...to us being together.”
“Really?” He raised his brows, and he looked maddeningly unconvinced.
“Yes,” she confirmed, hoping he didn’t know she hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. “You said yourself you...are well-traveled.”
“Is that a nice way of saying I’m the town bike?”
“Well. Yes.” She cleared her throat. “That leads me to believe that not very many things have been off-limits to you. Until recently. And now you find yourself...chained to your house. So... Not traveling as much. So to speak.”
As she said it, it made sense. It made a hell of a lot more sense than this man randomly wanting her for...her.
“You’re not wrong about that,” he agreed.
“And I’m here.”
“Yes, you are,” he said, his face almost comically serious.
“Look, the thing is...maybe Darren is a jerk, but he’s also right. So...even if we...did something...it wouldn’t actually be that fun. I would be prudish and disappointing. And you would be disappointing, too, and it wouldn’t even be your fault. It would be mine.”
Silence fell between them. But it wasn’t awkward, and it wasn’t harmless. It seemed to crackle. With heat and fire.
He leaned forward, his dark eyes intense. “Let’s get one thing straight, honey. I am never disappointing.”
Her cheeks felt scorched. “Well, there would be a first time for everything, and it would be with me.”
Jackson leaned back, taking hold of a french fry and putting it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “The real problem,” he said slowly, “is that I suspect there might just be some firsts between us, Savannah. But they wouldn’t be disappointing firsts.”
Her heart thundered hard. “Good thing we’re not going to find out.”
He shook his head. “It’s very important to me that Lily have stability in her life.”
“It’s important to me that I get some stability in mine.”
He nodded. “Stability is very important.”
Except he was leaning closer to her, and she could smell the aftereffects of his long day of hard labor, mingled with the body wash he used. And none of it was objectionable. Not in the least.
She swallowed hard, feeling dizzier than she had earlier. But right now, lack of sleep had nothing to do with it.
“The thing is,” he continued, “I’m a bad bet.”
“I’m sure you say that to all the girls,” she said.
“I do.” He nodded. “I don’t want to upset what we have here.”
“I don’t, either.”
“Although,” he said, “there’s a couple of things I’d add to that. The first being the fact I’m a bad bet might actually make it a better idea. There isn’t going to be a romantic entanglement, even if there’s a physical entanglement. That’s not in me. Fact of the matter is, I didn’t think fatherhood was in me, and stretching myself to be that... There’s not going to be an
y more character growth coming for me for quite some time.”
“Noted.”
“And we’ve already talked about it. I’m attracted to you. Hell, I can’t remember the last time I wanted a woman as badly as I want you.”
She hadn’t expected him to say that. He didn’t need to say things like that.
He didn’t need to lie.
“You really shouldn’t have said that,” she said, looking down at her hands.
“Why the hell not? We’ve been dancing around it. So, there it is. Now, those are the first two things.”
“What’s the third thing?”
“I want to send your ex-husband to a fucking early grave for telling you all that about yourself. But since I have a child to think about, and I can’t go getting myself arrested for murder, the next best thing I can think to do is try to erase some of that. You came here for a fresh start, Savannah. I can give it to you. You can stay here with Lily for as long as you want and during that time...if the two of us have some fun, then I consider it an added bonus.”
“Another perk of the job?” she asked drily.
“Forget the job for a second. I want you. You want something different than what Darren showed you. Right?”
“What if it’s me?” she insisted.
“You need to get over that. That fear. You’re not going to stay here and be Lily’s nanny forever, right? That was never your plan.”
She shook her head slowly. “Well. No.”
“This is just a stopover while you figure out what to do with the rest of your life. And that’s fine. But I assume that in the future you’re going to want children of your own. A husband.”
“Husbands don’t have a lot to recommend them as far as I can see.”
“Lovers then. Who wants to be alone? No one.” He shrugged. “Even I don’t like to be alone at night.”
“Just because you like sex,” she said.
“Sure. But most people do. Let me prove him wrong. You prove him wrong, Savannah. I’ll show you it was him. His fault. You can let that go, leave it behind. Burn it to the damned ground. Isn’t that better than letting his words live inside you like that? Next time you tell someone your ex-husband said you were frigid you can do it with a laugh.”
“But what if... What if...”
He didn’t let her finish that sentence. Instead, he reached out, grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her over to his side of the table. Onto his lap. And then, she didn’t have to wonder about those lips anymore. Didn’t have to wonder about those whiskers. Because Jackson Reid was kissing her, and it wasn’t like anything she’d ever experienced before.
It was better.
CHAPTER SIX
SHE HAD THOUGHT she liked kissing. Had thought that it was her favorite part about physical intimacy. That it was sweet and undemanding, that it allowed her to feel those warm, fuzzy feelings that always vanished once her clothes came off and expectations began to grow.
But this kiss was something else entirely.
It wasn’t sweet. And it was more than demanding.
His lips were hard and hot on hers, his tongue insistent as he devoured her mouth, sliding it against hers. And as for warm, fuzzy feelings...
This was too sharp to be anything like fuzzy. It was something ferocious, something that went deep and hard and on forever. Something that reached parts of her she hadn’t been aware of.
His hands were large and rough from all that outdoor labor, just like she’d known they would be. He didn’t hold her gently. Not at all. His blunt fingertips bit into that space between her shoulder blades as he held her tightly against his body. And they didn’t stay still. No. Not at all. One slid down the center of her spine, tracing a line on the way down to cup her ass, and then he lifted her, easily, quickly, positioning her on his lap, her legs straddling his thighs. She could feel him between them, hard and insistent and already pushing her outside the boundaries of kissing.
She would have said that she didn’t like that. That she didn’t like to be rushed through this part, and taken to the portion of events where she failed.
But she couldn’t say anything. Because he was still devouring her mouth, and there was something about the way he held her, something about the way he moved his tongue against hers, about the way his hips bucked beneath her, that made her forget there might be something she wasn’t doing right.
Her fingers ached, and it took her a moment to realize it was because they were wrapped around the collar of his T-shirt. So tight that in spite of the fact there was fabric between her fingertips and her palms, she could feel her nails digging into her skin. It was a miracle she hadn’t worked little claw marks through the material.
Dimly, she wondered if she cared if she did.
He shifted his other hand, the rough pads of his fingers an erotic sensation on the delicate skin of her neck as he moved his palm to cup her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. He broke the kiss, his lips hot against her neck, her cheek, and then against her ear.
“What did he do?” he whispered in her ear, the words rough and harsh.
“What?”
“Your ex. How did it normally go?”
She didn’t want to think about him. Not at all. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. I’m not setting you up for failure.”
“I...I...”
“How about this?” His voice grew huskier. “Why don’t you tell me something he never did?”
Her brain froze. That felt too... To have to admit to him all the things she’d never done. To have to sit there and try to think of sexual things she had no experience of was humiliating. And not only that, it would take too long. And there were probably about a thousand things she wouldn’t think of because she was too inexperienced to know them.
How could a woman who had been married all that time be inexperienced? It was... Well, she came back to the word humiliating.
So she simply froze above him, her entire body going stiff. He drew his head back and looked at her, those dark eyes boring into hers.
“Never mind,” he said, his tone gentling. “I’ll handle it.”
“You’ll...”
He slid his hand forward, tracing the line of her jaw to her chin, and then pressing his thumb against her lower lip. The movement was slow, deliberate, and his eyes never left hers. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
“How... How am I supposed to...”
“Honey,” he said firmly, “I don’t need you to problem-solve this. You’re not my nanny. I don’t need you to take care of me. I know exactly what I’m doing.”
She chose to forget for a moment that it was because he had been with a lot of other women. Because he had been with any number of people he would be able to compare her to. Because really... That just meant that he’d had a lot of sex, and if this sex was disappointing she wouldn’t feel that bad. She was not, after all, the be-all and end-all for him, like she had been for Darren.
Somehow, that put less pressure on her. Made her feel more settled.
His large hands were so firm and sure, it made her feel like she could relax into them. That demand that she had felt in his kiss earlier wasn’t a demand being placed on her. It was a demand he placed on himself, and all she had to do was surrender to it.
He kissed her again, firm and certain, slow and thorough, taking the time to trace her mouth with his tongue before he delved back in deep. She shivered, warmth pooling low in her midsection as he explored her mouth.
He didn’t move his hands. He kept them right where they were, kept his exploration confined to her lips alone.
There was something incredibly erotic about that. It made her whole body feel more alive somehow. Made her feel restless, aching for a touch he wasn’t giving. Her breasts felt heavy, achy. As did that soft, slick place between her legs. He wasn’
t pressed against her now. The only place they made contact was where her legs draped over his thighs, and where he held her fast with his hand, where his mouth met hers. She wanted more.
She couldn’t remember how long it had been since she had wanted more. He kissed her like that until she was trembling, until that ache between her legs had become a hollow, intense pain. Until she was ready to beg.
And then, just when she felt like she couldn’t stand it any longer, he moved his hand down the side of her neck, to her breast, cupping her gently, his thumb sliding over one tightened nipple.
The sensation was like a jolt of electricity arrowed down to that place where she was wet and needy for him. She bucked her hips forward, the movement involuntary, bringing her into contact with his arousal again. He chuckled, but didn’t make any movements of his own. He just continued to stroke her breast, lazily almost, as if he had all the time in the world.
He broke the kiss, those dark eyes knowing as he stared into hers, as he continued to toy with her. Looking at him while he touched her like that was... She shivered, a strange aftershock seeming to echo inside of her core.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered, pausing to find her nipple again and pinch it lightly between his thumb and forefinger. Her eyes widened, a shocked gasp on her lips. And he swallowed it, claiming her mouth with his own again. Then, he lifted them both up out of the chair, not breaking the kiss as he walked her back into his bedroom.
She was not a petite woman. And no man had ever...picked her up like she was a delicate, fragile thing. But Jackson made her feel like she might be. His strong arms held her easily, his big, hard body a firm and steady resting place.
It was exhilarating. Incredible.
It was the one room of the cabin that she hadn’t been in over the course of the past couple of weeks. It was sparse and masculine, and exactly like she had imagined his room would be. Plain, wooden furniture was paired with a red-and-black flannel bedspread, which she soon found herself deposited onto. He didn’t join her on the bed. Instead, he took a step backward, his hands going to the hem of his T-shirt.
He dragged it up over his head and her insides hollowed out.
