by Natasha West
Only now did Ellie begin to grasp that it had not been a kind gesture. It had meant that Zoe was in control. She got the final say, always.
Ellie realised she’d never lived here. Not really. And furthermore, now that she was being honest with herself, she hated Zoe’s taste. All this white minimalist stuff, it wasn’t Ellie’s palate at all. She’d always been more of an eclectic decorator, preferring a home that says ‘I live here’. Zoe’s shrink wrapped museum of simplicity, it was a monument to expense, a place that was supposed to let you know that you were standing in the home of someone with money.
In the middle of this series of revelations, the flat buzzer suddenly rang, a prolonged, somehow angry burst of noise.
Ellie couldn’t imagine who the hell was ringing the buzzer right now. It couldn’t be Zoe. She had keys. And she wasn’t expecting anyone else. After all, she should have been midway through fertilisation right now. Not the time for a houseguest. She decided to ignore it.
But the buzzer was not about to let itself be ignored. It screamed into the silent flat, again and again.
Ellie tried to wait the buzzing lunatic out, but whoever it was had serious resolve. They weren’t going away. She cracked.
‘Hello?’
‘Is that Zoe?’ a voice screeched down the intercom.
‘No, she’s… she’s not here.’
‘Ellie, is that you?’
Ellie only had to think for a second to realise it was completely obvious who the crazy person was and why they were yelling into her intercom.
‘Jordan?’
‘The one and only’ Jordan replied dryly.
Ellie hit the button on the intercom, releasing the door.
‘Come up.’
A few minutes later, Ellie opened the door to see Jordan, usually the picture of composure, standing in the doorway with a wild look in her eye and a hand covered with blood.
‘Oh my god! What happened to your hand?’
Jordan looked down absently.
‘Oh, that. Yeah. Got a little carried away at my fight club’ she said acerbically. ‘Is she here?’
‘I told you. No.’
‘I didn’t know if she told you to say that’ she said as she took a hard look at Ellie’s face. She’d been crying. ‘You look like I feel. I’m assuming you’ve heard the news by now?’
Ellie looked away as she nodded and stepped back to allow Jordan in. Jordan strode in and went down the hall without further comment. Ellie scuttled after her, entering the living room to find Jordan lying on the white couch, her heels up on the seat.
‘I hope you don’t mind me ruining this sofa. It seems only fair.’
Ellie shrugged.
‘Burn it to the ground for all I care.’
Jordan raised an eyebrow.
‘That’s not a bad idea. Got anything to drink?’
‘Let me check.’
In the kitchen, Ellie scouted around for something, ending up at the fridge. She opened it to find a bottle of Champagne, purchased in preparation for the day when Ellie and Zoe found out they were officially with child. ‘No point saving it now’, Ellie thought. The special occasions were officially over.
Ellie grabbed a corkscrew and pulled the cork out with a loud pop, throwing it hastily into the sink. She took an almighty chug straight from the bottle. And then a second one. Then, and only then, did she go back into the living room with the booze.
She handed Jordan the bottle. Jordan didn’t seem to care about the lack of glasses. She took a swig and handed it back to Ellie.
‘Zoe coming back any time soon?’
‘Unlikely.’
‘That’s a shame. I was rather set on punching her in the tit. The left one preferably but either one would do.’
Ellie sighed and sat in the armchair opposite Jordan.
‘I’m sorry you’ve had a wasted journey.’
Jordan suddenly realised that Ellie was in a bathrobe and it wasn’t even night-time.
‘Wow, you didn’t waste any time falling into a depression, did you?’
Ellie looked down at herself.
‘This was… When Zoe gave me ‘The News’ she was just about to inseminate me.’
Jordan’s eyebrows shot up.
‘What, like she was standing there with the turkey baster or whatever and then just dropped the bombshell?’
‘Pretty much.’
Jordan had never really had much sympathy for Ellie before, even though her girlfriend was an obvious bitch. Jordan had always thought that people like Ellie sought out people like Zoe, and vice versa. The control freaks and the weaklings filled a need for each other. Jordan herself was not a fan of having anyone using her spine for a treadmill, nor did she care to do that to anyone else. But she’d always assumed that was an arrangement that was comfortable for Ellie, thus she’d had no pity for her.
But this? Zoe ditching her just as she was supposed to impregnate her? Fucked up didn’t begin to cover it. It verged on evil.
For the first time, Jordan felt deeply for Ellie. Whatever Jordan was feeling, Ellie had it even worse, that much was obvious. She’d been planning a family. And although Jordan had thought that she and Caitlin were serious, they hadn’t been ‘there’. They’d actually been pretty far from ‘there’, if ‘there’ had ever been an option.
Jordan considered trying to say something comforting to Ellie but she wasn’t sure what there was that she could say. All she could offer was bullshit. And Jordan didn’t have the energy to conjure any, even for poor Ellie.
‘Fuck me sideways, that’s humiliating.’
‘That’s one word for it.’
Ellie suddenly jumped up and ran into the bathroom. Jordan assumed she’d gone to cry. But a minute later, she came back out with some plasters and antiseptic.
‘Give me your hand’ Ellie said.
‘Oh right, I’m bleeding. Why do I keep forgetting that?’ Jordan said, as she dutifully held out her hand. Ellie began to swab the hand, cleaning away the blood to reveal several nasty cuts.
‘Seriously Jordan, how did you do this?’
Jordan considered making another sarcastic remark but Ellie was tending her like some war-time nurse and it felt rude to be flip. And if anyone could appreciate how she was feeling right now, it was Ellie.
‘After Caitlin dropped the mic, I had some ‘feelings’ that I needed to work out. I decided to smash every plate I could find in the kitchen. I guess I got caught by the flying debris.’
Ellie began to cover Jordan’s cuts with plasters.
‘Did it help? The destruction?’ Ellie asked.
‘Briefly. But then I had this urge to express myself to Zoe’s stupid face. And now I’m here and she’s not, I’m feeling kind of pent up again. Where is that gaping arsehole, anyhow?’
‘She went to a hotel.’
They both went quiet for a moment, thinking the same thing. Ellie was the first to verbalise it.
‘I’m guessing Caitlin’s there with her.’
Jordan didn’t answer but her nostril flare was reply enough. Ellie finished putting a plaster on the final cut and Jordan took her hand back.
‘Thanks.’
Jordan glanced around the room.
‘So, I’m assuming this place belongs to Zoe?’
‘Yeah. I’m supposed to leave while she’s at the hotel.’
‘Where you gonna go?’
‘I honestly don’t know.’
Jordan leaned back on the sofa, thinking. The solution to both their problems was obvious. Ellie needed a place to live and Jordan needed someone to split the rent. But Jordan didn’t know if she really wanted to live with Ellie. The idea of them both sharing hers and Caitlin’s small-ish flat while their respective exes lived it up in this swanky pad… it was depressing. And Jordan really didn’t want to have to get up to Ellie crying over her cornflakes of a morning.
The more she thought about the juxtaposition - Caitlin and Zoe enjoying their new life, while she and Ellie s
at in the ruins of theirs - the angrier Jordan grew.
‘You wouldn’t happen to know what hotel Zoe’s at, would you?’
Ellie felt a nervous twinge at the question.
‘No. Why?’
Jordan chose to ignore the ‘Why?’ That question would be answered when it needed to be. When Zoe was in front of her. Then Jordan would let her feelings take her wherever they thought was best.
‘Come on. You know her. Where would she go?’
Ellie considered and realised that she did know. There was a place on the edge of town, a spa hotel called ‘The Olive Grove’. Zoe and Ellie had always talked about checking in for a weekend sometime. They’d never gotten around to it.
But somehow, Ellie knew that’s exactly where Zoe would be right this minute. With Caitlin. They were having a romantic reunion, after all. She’d want to go upscale. After all, you can’t very well reignite old passions with the love of your life at a Travelodge, can you?
‘You know where she is, don’t you? It’s written all over your face.’
Ellie shook her head.
‘I can’t be sure, I told you.’
Jordan cocked her head.
‘But you’ve got an inkling.’
‘Maybe, but-’
Jordan took out her phone.
‘I’m ordering an Uber to take us there, so I’ll need to know where we’re going.’
‘We?’
‘Yep. We both deserve to have it out with those bastards. Now, I just need the address…’ Jordan trailed off and waited for Ellie to break. It didn’t take long. There was something persuasive about the way Jordan simply expected her to tell her. Ellie had never been great at saying no.
‘It’s The Olive Grove Hotel and Spa. Probably. But as I said…’
‘Ok, the car will be here in a few minutes. Get dressed’ Jordan commanded.
Ellie sighed and stood, going into the bedroom to put on some clothes.
Chapter Four
At The Olive Grove Hotel, Zoe and Caitlin were sitting in the bar. They’d yet to go up to the room, although they knew it was an inevitability. But they’d both been waiting for a long time for this and there was a momentum to the moment that had to be acknowledged. They couldn’t just run up to the room and start tearing each other’s clothes off. Not without a stiff drink first.
‘Well, here we are’ Caitlin said.
Zoe nodded.
‘Yep. Here were are.’
‘Are you OK? You seem a bit…’
‘It’s just, that whole thing with Ellie. It was horrible.’
‘Did she cry?’
‘Actually, no. I guess she was in shock. She just looked so sad’, Zoe said, a deep line appearing in her forehead. She decided to shake off the guilt she was feeling. If she allowed herself to really feel that right now, it would ruin this, the start of her real life.
‘How was it with Jordan? I’m assuming she gave you a hard time?’
‘No. She just kind of sat there. Actually, she didn’t really seem to care. It had been over for a while; I think we both knew it. I guess she was relieved that I was the one to officially finish it’, Caitlin said with a sigh. All that wasn’t strictly true, but she didn’t want Zoe to feel any worse than she already did about what they’d done.
They both sat with the thought of their recently axed exes, wondering what they were doing right this second.
They would have been quite surprised to learn that those exes were mere feet away, standing in the hotel carpark.
Jordan was standing with her hands on her hips, staring at Zoe’s BMW.
‘Your instincts were dead on’ she said to Ellie, who was hiding behind a nearby bush. ‘If you ever decide to be a bloodhound, you’ve got a promising future. What the hell are you doing back there, anyway?’
‘I don’t want to be seen’ Ellie stage whispered back.
‘Why the hell not?’ Jordan asked.
Ellie didn’t really have a good answer.
‘Look’ Jordan explained ‘those two are the ones that should be ashamed, not us. Get out here, would you?’
Ellie stepped out reticently from behind the shrubbery.
‘I don’t even know what we’re doing here’ Ellie said.
Jordan looked at the car.
‘Well, for a start, I’m going to smash the windows on this car. Can you see a loose rock around?’
‘What?!’ Ellie hissed.
‘You object, I take it?’ Jordan enquired casually.
‘Of course! That’s criminal damage, you could get arrested.’
That came as a surprise to Jordan. She realised she’d been running on her anger too long. She wasn’t thinking any of this through. She’d been ten seconds away from a crime that could get her in serious shit.
‘Fuck. You’re right.’
‘Anyway, why are you so keen to attack Zoe’s car? Caitlin-’ Ellie almost choked on the name ‘-is just as much to blame. In fact, from what Zoe told me earlier, she instigated this whole… business.’
Jordan’s eyes swivelled to Ellie, a look of pure astonishment on her face.
‘She did?’
Ellie knew she’d put her foot in it.
‘You didn’t know that?’ she asked nervously.
‘I did not know that, Ellie, no.’
Ellie realised she was going to have to tell Jordan everything that Zoe had told her earlier. She deserved to know the facts. Even if they were hard to live with.
So there, in the car park of the Olive Grove Hotel and Spa, Ellie explained to Jordan everything she’d been told, in as much detail as she could recall. The whole Caitlin and Zoe saga.
And after Ellie was done, Jordan leaned weakly against Zoe’s car, needing physical support. She felt drained.
It was strange, hearing all this had somehow affected her more deeply than the dumping itself. Before, she’d been working on the assumption that Zoe was the mastermind behind all this. That she’d simply taken Caitlin from her. That had been bad enough. The very fact that Caitlin could be taken had been brutal on its own.
But now Jordan knew it was much worse. Caitlin had wanted someone else from the very start of their relationship. She’d never stopped pining for Zoe. Awful, pretentious Zoe. All Jordan had ever been to Caitlin was a consolation prize. And all the while, she’d bided her time, waiting for a better option.
That understanding sapped the remainder of her anger.
Ellie watched Jordan, who hadn’t spoken in a few minutes now, clearly trying to deal with the information Ellie had laid on her. Had it been a mistake to tell her? She’d seemed quite content in hating Zoe, it had given her purpose. Perhaps anger was better than this wounded feeling that Ellie had been left with? Because this new Jordan, this hurt Jordan, she was hard to see. Ellie had never seen this vulnerability in Jordan. She’d always seemed so untouched by everything. Even angry, she’d seemed strong. But it was clear that something in Jordan had now broken.
‘Jordan, I…’ Ellie began, not sure what words of solace she had for Jordan but needing to say something.
But before she could find the words, she happened to glance at the hotel, through the large floor to ceiling window that gave her a direct view into the bar.
There they were, Zoe and Caitlin, sitting at a table. Zoe looked sad, tearful even, and Caitlin seemed to be comforting her. Her hand was on Zoe’s and she was explaining something in what looked like a compassionate way.
The sight of Zoe and Caitlin sitting like that affected Ellie in a deep, dark manner, a manner that was epic in its impact on Ellie. It drilled down to her core, injecting a kind of poison into her that she had never known until that very moment. Had it always been there, she wondered later. Did the moment simply reveal a side of herself that she’d never acknowledged? Or did the experience fashion something new out of her, giving her a hardness that she might never have known otherwise?
Because watching Caitlin comforting Zoe, who Ellie had an instinctive notion was bemoaning how h
ard it had been to take a wrecking ball to her relationship with Ellie herself, it galled her like nothing in her life had to date. As bad as everything that had happened in the last few hours had been, (and it had been dreadful) now she was having to watch her ex being consoled by her new love, as though something terrible had happened to her. As though she, in fact they, were not the architects of all this devastation.
