by Jill Mansell
OK, mustn’t say that. At least Philip’s pronouncement had succeeded in shutting Adele up; while her brain was busy assimilating this unwelcome information her mouth had snapped shut like a bronze-lipglossed trap.
‘I thought you’d like the opportunity to thank her in person,’ Philip went on, and all of a sudden he sounded like a headmaster saddened by the disruptive behavior of a vociferous teenager.
People were starting to notice now. The couple Adele had been talking to were avidly observing the proceedings. The blonde who was Philip’s stepdaughter—crikey, that meant she was Dougie’s older sister—came over and said, puzzled, ‘Mum? Is everything all right?’
‘Fine.’ Recovering herself, Adele managed the most frozen of smiles and looked directly at Lola. ‘So it was you. Well… what can I say? Thank you.’
‘No problem.’ That didn’t sound quite right but what else could she say? My pleasure?
‘It was such a brave thing you did,’ exclaimed Dougie’s sister. What was her name? Sally, that was it. ‘I can’t bear to think what might have happened to Mum if you hadn’t dived in like that. You were amazing!’
Lola managed to maintain a suitably modest smile, while her memory busily rewound to that eventful night ten days ago. Euurrgh, she had stroked Adele’s ankle, she had squeezed Adele Tennant’s thigh…
Except she wasn’t Adele Tennant any more. She was Adele Nicholson.
‘So you remarried,’ said Lola, longing to ask about Doug and feeling her stomach clench just at the thought of him.
‘Four years ago.’ Adele was being forced to be polite now, in a through-gritted-teeth, I-really-wish-you-weren’t-here kind of way.
‘Congratulations.’ Lola wondered what Philip, who was lovely, had done to deserve Cruella de Vil as a wife. Presumably Adele did have redeeming qualities; she just hadn’t encountered them yet.
‘Thank you. Well, it’s… nice to see you again. Can we offer you a drink? Or,’ Adele said hopefully, ‘do you have to rush off?’
Rushing off suddenly seemed a highly desirable thing to do. Excellent idea. Since every minute here was clearly set to be an excruciating ordeal, Lola looked at her watch and said, ‘Actually, there is somewhere else I need to—’
‘Here he is!’ cried Sally, her face lighting up as she waved across the room to attract someone’s attention. ‘Yoohoo, we’re over here! And what sort of time do you call this anyway? You’re late.’
Lola didn’t need to turn around. She knew who it was. Some inner certainty told her that Dougie had entered the drawing room; she could feel his presence behind her. All of a sudden every molecule in her body was on high alert and she was no longer breathing.
Dougie. Doug. Whom she’d thought she’d never see again.
‘Sorry, I was held up at a meeting. Some of us have a proper job. Hi, everyone, how’s it going? What have I missed?’
Chapter 8
Lola was zinging all over; now she’d completely forgotten how to breathe. Except how embarrassing if she keeled over in a dead faint in front of everyone; when a woman had done that in the shop last summer she’d lost control of her bladder.
Imagine coming round, surrounded by Dougie and his family, and discovering you were lying in a puddle of wee.
But this was the kind of situation you needed time to prepare yourself for, time she hadn’t been allowed, and now she was doing her usual thing of being inappropriately flippant. Whereas in reality she was filled with a mixture of giddy excitement—maybe twenty per cent—and eighty per cent fear and trepidation. Because as far as Dougie was concerned, she’d left him without a word, dumped him and run off abroad without a proper explanation. Had ten years been long enough for him to forgive her for that?
‘Well.’ Winking at Lola, Sally spoke with relish. ‘Philip invited along a surprise guest…’
Who turned out to be one very surprised guest. Lola dug her nails into her palms—welcome the pain, welcome the pain and don’t pass out—and turned round to look at him.
‘Hello, Dougie.’
For a split second their eyes locked and it was as if the last decade had never happened. Doug looked the same but taller, broader, better. He’d always had the looks, the ability to stop girls dead in their tracks, and now here he was, having that exact same effect, doing it to her all over again.
Except it would be nice if he could be smiling, looking a bit less stony faced than this.
OK, maybe not very likely, but nice all the same. Even if just to be polite.
‘Lola.’ Doug’s shoulders stiffened as if she were a tax inspector. Taking care to keep his voice neutral he said, ‘What brings you here?’
Oh God, this was awful, all the old tumultuous feelings were flooding back. She’d never been able to forget Dougie; he’d been her first love.
What’s more, seeing as it had never really happened again since, her One and Only.
‘I did,’ said Philip. ‘Sorry, I hope this isn’t awkward, but I had no idea you two knew each other. Anyway, surely that’s irrelevant now.’ He cast a warning glance at Adele with her mouth like a prune and rested a hand reassuringly on Lola’s shoulder. ‘Under the circumstances I’m sure we can put the past behind us. Doug, this is the young lady who came to your mother’s rescue when she was attacked.’
Dougie’s expression altered. ‘God, really? That was you? We didn’t know. That’s incredible.’
‘The police told me her name was Lauren something or other,’ Adele said prunily and with a hint of accusation, as if Lola had done it on purpose.
‘It is, but I’ve been called Lola since I was a baby. It was a nickname that just stuck.’
‘Well, thanks for doing what you did.’ There was a warmth in Dougie’s eyes now, breaking through the initial wariness. ‘From what I hear, you were pretty fantastic.’
Oh, I was. Shaking inwardly, Lola did her best to look fantastic but at the same time incredibly self-effacing. Dougie was gorgeous and now fate had brought them back together. The break-up had happened a decade ago; they’d practically been children then. Surely Doug would forgive her for chucking him. ‘Well, when someone needs help you just go for it, you don’t stop to wonder what—’
‘Ooh, I’ve got it now!’ Sally let out a mini-squeal of recognition and pointed excitedly at Lola. ‘You’re the one I never got to meet! You were going out with my little brother when I was living in Dublin with Tim the Tosser! Then you did a bunk and broke his heart!’
Oh don’t say that, please don’t say that. I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to do it, Lola longed to blurt out. It broke my heart too!
Doug said dryly, ‘Thanks, Sal.’
‘Oh, come on, it was years and years ago, all in the past now. And she did break your heart.’ Sally gave him a jab in the ribs, visibly relishing his discomfort. ‘You were a complete pain, don’t you remember? All because you couldn’t believe your girlfriend had given you the elbow and buggered off abroad.’ She nudged Lola and added cheerfully, ‘Did him the world of good, if you ask me.’
‘That’s funny,’ said Doug, ‘because I don’t remember anyone asking you.’
‘That’s enough.’ Adele intervened before the bickering could start. ‘Doug, the Mastersons have to leave very soon but they really want to see you before they go.’
‘I’ll do that now. As soon as I’ve got myself a drink.’ Evidently glad of the reprieve, Doug glanced at Lola and Sally, and said, ‘Excuse me. I’ll see you later.’
They watched Doug cross the room with Adele, while Philip went in search of a waiter.
‘That’s one rattled brother,’ Sally observed gleefully. ‘God, I love it when that happens!’
Guilt and pain swirled up through Lola’s stomach. ‘Did I really break his heart?’
‘Too right you did! Talk about miserable! Ooh, is that yours
?’
Lola’s phone was chirruping in her bag. She took it out and Gabe’s name flashed up at her.
‘Feel free.’ Sally made encouraging answer-it gestures.
‘Thanks. Sorry, I’ll just take it outside for a minute.’ Longing to confide in Gabe, Lola excused herself and escaped the party. She crossed the hall, quietly let herself out of the house—better safe than sorry—and answered the phone.
‘I know, I’m early,’ said Gabe. ‘Couldn’t wait. So how’s it going? Are they showering you with diamonds?’
She grimaced in the darkness. ‘Diamonds, wouldn’t that be nice. More like bullets.’
‘What? Why?’
‘You won’t believe what’s happening here.’ Lola kept walking to warm herself up, around the side of the house and along a narrow stone path leading beneath a hand-carved wooden archway into a rose garden. ‘The woman who was mugged only turns out to be the mother of an old boyfriend of mine. And she loathed me! If I’d known it was her I’d have run in the other direction. You should have seen her face tonight when she found out I was the one who’d gone to help her!’
‘So you’re leaving? Do I feel a contraction coming on?’
‘Hang on, don’t start boiling kettles just yet. I was going to leave,’ said Lola. ‘God, it was awful, I couldn’t wait to get out of here. And it went without saying that the Wicked Witch couldn’t wait to be shot of me.’ She paused, reliving the moment her stomach had done a Red Arrows swoop-and-dive. ‘But then it happened. He turned up. Oh Gabe, I can’t describe how it felt. I thought I’d never see Dougie again, but now I have. And he’s more gorgeous than ever. It’s like a miracle… I can’t believe he’s here. So I’m not going to leave now, even though his hateful mother wishes I would. I’ve got to talk to Doug properly… he’s only just arrived and it’s been a bit awkward so far. We’re all pretty stunned at the moment. But… oh God, it’s just so amazing seeing him again, I haven’t been this excited since—’
‘Hey, hey, calm down, do you not think you’re getting a bit carried away? If this guy dumped you before, what makes you think he’s going to be thrilled to see you again?’ As a heterosexual man who had dumped hundreds of weeping females in his time, Gabe said warningly, ‘What makes you think he’ll even want to talk to you?’
‘Gabe, you don’t understand. He isn’t an ex-boyfriend. He’s the ex-boyfriend. Plus, he didn’t dump me. I was the one who left him.’ Lola swallowed. ‘According to his sister I broke his heart.’
‘And now you’ve taken one look at him and decided you want him back. Trust me,’ said Gabe, ‘that’s a recipe for disaster. You can never go back. Whatever annoyed you about this guy before will only annoy you again.’
‘For heaven’s sake, will you stop lecturing me? This is my first love we’re talking about here! We were crazy about each other. Dougie was about to start at Edinburgh University,’ Lola paced up and down the flagstoned path in an attempt to keep warm, ‘and we planned to visit each other every weekend, but if that wasn’t enough I was going to move up there to be with him. You have no idea how happy we were together.’
She heard Gabe snort with derision. ‘So happy that you finished with him. That makes sense.’
‘But that’s just it, I didn’t want to finish with him. His bloody mother made me do it!’ Lola squeezed her eyes shut as the long-ago hideous encounter in Adele Tennant’s car swam back into her brain; the smell of expensive leather upholstery had haunted her ever since. ‘She hated me, thought I was a bad influence on her precious golden boy… she was terrified I’d put him off his studies or, even worse, persuade him to jack in university altogether.’
‘So she asked you to stop seeing her son. Erm,’ said Gabe, ‘did it ever occur to you to say no?’
‘She didn’t ask me. She made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.’ Lola hated even thinking about that bit; had spent years doing her best to banish it from her mind.
‘You’re not serious!’ At last she had Gabe’s full attention. ‘You mean, like swimming with the fishes? She actually threatened you with a concrete overcoat and a trip to the bottom of the Thames?’
‘Not that kind. She offered me money. I was seventeen years old.’ There was a bitter taste in Lola’s mouth now; no matter how compelling the reason, the inescapable fact remained that she had betrayed her boyfriend. ‘And she offered me ten thousand pounds if I’d stop seeing Dougie.’
‘Which you took?’
‘Which I took.’ The bitter taste was guilt; it wasn’t an action she was proud of, hence never having mentioned it to Gabe before.
He let out an incredulous bark of laughter. ‘You let her buy you off?’
Lola shivered as a blast of icy air wrapped itself around her stomach. ‘I didn’t want to, but I had to.’
‘Bloody hell! Ten grand. What did you spend it on?’
Lola hesitated, but it was no good; she couldn’t tell him. Racked with remorse, Alex had begged her never to reveal their secret to another living soul and it was a promise she had to keep. Alex might be gone now but her mother must never find out what had happened. Which meant she must never tell anyone. Choking up at the memory, she said, ‘I just needed it. You don’t understand what a—’
Crackkk.
She froze at the sound of a dry twig snapping underfoot behind her. Swinging round with her heart in her throat, Lola saw the tall figure just visible in the darkness at the entrance to the rose garden.
Not just any old tall figure either. That silhouette was instantly recognizable.
‘Ten thousand pounds,’ said a quiet voice every bit as incredulous as Gabe’s.
Oh God.
‘I don’t understand what?’ complained Gabe, for whom patience wasn’t a strong point. ‘Don’t stop there! What is there to not understand?’
‘I’ll call you back.’ Her hand suddenly trembling with more than cold, Lola ended the call and dropped the phone back into her bag.
Chapter 9
‘Ten thousand pounds,’ Doug repeated, shaking his head.
Lola swallowed. ‘Your mum was desperate to split us up.’
‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this.’ He moved towards her. ‘You wrote me a letter and left the country.’
‘Because that’s what she wanted me to do. Don’t you see? All that stuff I said in the letter wasn’t true!’ Lola knew she had to make him understand. ‘I still loved you! It broke my heart too, I was miserable for months.’
‘Oh, don’t give me that.’ Doug’s tone hardened. ‘I’ve heard some lines in my time, but—’
‘Dougie, I’m not lying! And I’m sorry, so sorry I hurt you. But it was your mother’s idea—she was the one who offered me the money. And trust me, she was desperate,’ Lola pleaded. ‘If I’d turned it down she’d only have found some other way to get rid of me.’
‘Jesus! You could have mentioned it! Did it not even occur to you to tell me what was going on? Did you not think it might have been fair to ask me how I felt about it?’
‘I was going to.’ Lola’s fists were clenched with frustration; not being able to tell him the truth meant he was always going to think she was a mercenary bitch. Helplessly she said, ‘But you were moving up to Edinburgh, you’d have started socializing with all those girls up there…’
‘What?’
‘We were so young! What were the chances, realistically, of us staying together? I knew I loved you,’ Lola rattled on in desperation, ‘but what if I’d said no to the money then a few weeks later you’d met someone you liked more than me? How stupid would I have felt if you’d sent me a Dear John letter then?’
In the darkness Doug raised his hands. ‘Fine. You did absolutely the right thing. Let’s just forget it, shall we?’
Did he mean that? ‘Let’s.’ Lola nodded eagerly, wondering if now might be a good moment f
or a lovely-to-see-you-again kiss. ‘From now on all that stuff’s behind us, right? We can start afresh.’
‘Start afresh?’ There was a smidgen of sarcasm in his voice. ‘No need to go that far, surely. You’ll be leaving soon enough.’
‘I don’t have to.’ Hurrying after him as he abruptly turned and headed down the path leading back to the house, Lola said, ‘I’ve only just got here! Dougie, it’s fantastic to see you again, we’ve got so much catching up to do.’
‘Trust me, we haven’t.’
‘But I want to know what you’ve been doing!’ Desperation made her reckless. ‘And you came outside, so that means you wanted to talk to me too.’
Dougie reached the front door and paused to look at her. ‘I came outside for a cigarette.’
‘You smoke now?’
‘Not a lot.’
‘You should give it up,’ said Lola.
A muscle twitched irritably in his jaw. ‘I did give it up. Six weeks ago.’
So her sudden reappearance had jolted him. Lola sniffed the air but could only detect cold earth and aftershave. ‘I can’t smell smoke.’
Dougie pulled a single cigarette and Bic lighter from his shirt pocket. ‘I was about to light it when I heard you talking on the phone.’
‘So you didn’t smoke it, you listened to me instead. See? I’m coming in useful already.’ Reaching out and snatching the cigarette from his hand, Lola snapped it in two and tossed it over her shoulder into a lavender bush.
Dougie heaved a sigh and pushed open the front door. ‘If you hadn’t been here I wouldn’t have been tempted in the first place. If you want to do something really useful you’ll leave.’
‘There you are.’ Adele, flinty eyed, was standing in the hall with Sally beside her. ‘We were wondering what had happened to you.’
‘We’ve been catching up.’ Dougie’s tone was brusque. ‘I’ve just been hearing about the ten thousand pounds you paid Lola to stop seeing me.’
Adele shot Lola a look capable of shriveling grapes. ‘So she told you, did she? Ten thousand pounds, is that what she said?’
