by Heather Linn
“Hey sexy, you looking for me?” As soon as he turned around I got him in the head with a balloon, which took his breath away and made him choke on the water.
With that it was on. The next hour was a blur of screams, hiding, jumping out and water splashing. I don't think there can be a winner in a water balloon war but I was determined that I was going to beat him. I had the last balloon that I could find in my hand and I was sure that he was out. So I did what anyone trained in the art of war would do: I stuck it down my shirt and went out to him with my hands in the air.
“I surrender, I am out.” Darien slowly stepped from behind one of the walls. The look on his face proved to me that he was happy to have me at his mercy.
“Silly girl, don't you know the person with the last hit is the one that wins?” With that the balloon came from behind his back and pegged me before I could move. I let him think that he won. I let him celebrate his victory. “It is OK; you are after all just a poor little thing. You never stood a chance, not against a big bad man.” It was so easy to laugh with him, well more at him. The closer he got the more his ego swelled. I left him get close enough to touch me.
“Tell me I am better than you, just say it one time and I’ll promise not to tell anyone how badly I just kicked your ass,” he taunted, knowing that I would never admit that he was better than me at anything.
“Hmm, I have a better idea for a prize. How about you close your eyes and I give you a kiss for winning? I mean doesn’t every big strong man want a kiss from a little helpless girl?” I tried to keep my voice as pleasant as I could even though I made the words “big” and “strong” more sarcastic than they needed to be.
“Mmm, yes, now you are speaking my language.” His cockiness was now mixed with a nervous happiness. I felt bad for about half a second.
I considered not doing it and just letting him think he won, but let’s face it, that wasn't me. I leaned in so close that I knew he could feel my breath on his lips.
“You know I think you deserve this, after all you are a big strong man and I knew I could never win.” His lips were trying hard to reach mine and right as he thought he was getting a kiss, I broke the balloon over his head. Instead of waiting for his reaction, I ran, laughing all the way. “You are right I could never, ever, ever beat someone as smart as you.” I hadn’t gotten very far when he tackled me. And then the tickling started. I couldn't get away from him. “OK, OK, OK, stop, I am sorry,” I pleaded while gasping for air. I tried to twist and turn and get away but it did me no good; he had no intention of letting me get up.
“You know what I want to hear Cat. I am not going to stop till you say it.” He was enjoying the power that he had over me at that moment.
I held out as long as I could. When the tickling got to be too much I finally gave in. “OK, OK, you win, you are better than me,” I said and satisfied with that, he finally stopped.
“I know I am but I just like to hear you admit it.” A quick kiss on the forehead and he literally picked me up with one hand. I was standing before I had time to think about it. It always amazes me just how strong he is. I was used to the thought of the Dominus being able to throw me around if they wanted to but, damn! Darien was just a human like me.
“Thank you Darien, this was amazing.” I was smiling and it was real. No one had ever done anything like this for me ever and it was a memory that I could treasure for the rest of my life. That was something I was sure of.
“You know what the best part is?” he asked me. I smiled up at him. “The best part of this is no one knows about this place but you and me.”
“Our own secret getaway from the rest of the world,” I said. “I like that”. I hugged him. It was probably the most deserved hug ever. One of those hugs that you never want to let go of and then I thought today is the day I start to fix the rest of my life with this man and I hugged him again.
Chapter Four
We both had our hands full with things that you have to have for one of our famous nights when we got to the front door of my apartment. I handed the key to Darien and let him unlock and push the door open for me, not because I couldn't, but because it was nice to know that there was someone to help you out now and then. Even stubborn old me that used to throw a fit any time Darien tried to be a more chivalrous male. Like I said, I guess wisdom comes with age. Just because I did less than I could didn’t make me weak. Lazy maybe, but not weak.
“Aww, such a gentlemen,” I said walking by and sticking out my tongue as I passed him. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning like a fool when he couldn’t see me. I hated to admit it but I could really get used to this.
“Well I am in the company of a lady. Now mind you she is a lady that cusses more than a sailor and can kick most men’s asses…,” Darien stopped and pondered what he was saying for a minute. “Hell you are right; you should have opened the door for me.” I could tell by the look on his face that he was proud of himself for being so clever.
“Ha ha funny man, put the soda in the fridge.” I didn’t realize how much I needed him tonight. I needed to be with the one person that I could be myself with. Who was I kidding? I needed to be with the one man that it was OK to love.
“You are never going to believe what movie I hoisted from Walker’s office, total chick flick, but I know you have been waiting to see it, so I suppose I will live through it.” When he pulled Titanic out of the bag I jumped up and down.
The movie Titanic was not only a history lesson but a story about normal human love, and what could be better than that? Without thinking, I ran over and gave him a big hug. It felt so right to be in his arms, so right and uncomplicated.
“You are such a cheap date you know that?” I was going to take that as a compliment, I decided. “The damnedest things make you happy. A stupid movie gets me a hug. I should have bargained for more. I am sure I could have got it. Why don’t I think these things through?” He stood there shaking his head acting like he was truly disappointed that he hadn’t made a more iron clad plan.
“Umm, thanks I think, and by the way, shut up!” I retorted, trying hard not to grin and let him know that I was truly enjoying every minute of his teasing. It was nice to be a girl. I didn't have to be a bad ass with Darien. I could be fun and wishy-washy and he’d never see me as weak.
Three hours later we were snuggled under a blanket, and tears were running down my face. “This is a horrible movie Darien! Why in the world would you bring it for me to watch?” I couldn’t believe he thought Titanic would be a good idea. “Are you completely unhinged, do you like to see me cry?” I was acting like a total girl, but damn it, this movie was so not a happy human love story. I needed to do better research next time, I didn’t need fake tragedy. I saw plenty of real tragedy every single day.
I could tell by the look on his face that Darien loved seeing the softer side of me, so I allowed him to see more of what he wanted. He was patient with me and I did love him, so why not let him have a glimpse of what he craved? I snuggled up against him, nuzzling against his chest, I sighed as his arms wrapped around me and I watched the rest of the movie with tears running down my face, listening to the sound of his heart beating against my forehead. I could completely, without a doubt, say that it felt right. With Darien, there was no reason to be afraid, no reason to worry that he was going to figure out what I really was. He knew what I was. I felt normal and maybe that is why I reacted the way I did when I was with him.
“I am sorry Cat. If I had known it would upset you, I would have never brought this movie over tonight. You usually don't crumble like this. What is that matter?” He was right. There had to be something wrong tonight, but it was more than that. It was like I needed to hear something in his voice and he had just given it to me, the concern I needed to open up. It was the caring in his tone that let me know that it was OK if I let go.
I thought about it for a moment, trying to make sense of my mood in my own head, before trying to explain myself to him.
; “I guess I just needed to feel normal tonight Darien and I thought normal was going to come with a happy ending. I guess that is what I needed to see.” I was hoping that he didn’t think I was crazy. “Then all of a sudden that hope was taken away from me and I realized that this love story was a gigantic tragedy.” When he didn’t stop me I just continued to ramble away trying to make him understand “Even more of a tragedy than the mess that we are living in. I guess just the realization that maybe we aren't that different from them got to me. Maybe I should stop wishing for the past,” I said as I pointed at the screen, “when the past wasn’t always happy. I mean, they were happy for a minute or two and then they lost it. I need to figure out what I want and what I need out of life and I need to start living before it is too late and the ship sinks and I lose my chance. Being happy, even if it lasts just minutes, is better than never feeling happy at all.”
OK, so maybe the Akia thing was getting to me more then I wanted to admit. Maybe my happiness was supposed to be with him. Maybe I was a horrible person for even letting Akia cross my mind while I laid there in Darien’s arms. Not only was it selfish and cruel but it was also pointless to think of Akia. I couldn't do anything about that situation or lack thereof right now. I couldn't do anything about that ever. Hell, maybe that wasn't even it and I was really off the mark, maybe happiness was knowing that Darien was back in my life. Maybe my wondering if we would ever be the same had driven me to the breaking point... Or maybe it was the screwdrivers that I had been drinking all night? Whatever it was, Darien was right, I was crumbling. I was tired of being sad. I didn't want to be sad. I wanted to live. I just wanted to be happy more than I wasn't.
“Love doesn't have to be a tragedy Cat. It can be an adventure, something to wake up to every morning, and something to live for, not something to fear.” He sounded like he really believed it and I wanted to believe with him so badly.
“Darien, people like us don’t have time for love. We have to keep the walls between us.” I was crying again and I sat up and looked at him so he could see that my point was a serious one. But before I saw him move he was in front of me, wiping away the tears that were still falling from my cheeks in a steady stream.
“There has to be time for love Cat. If not, then what are we fighting for? Why not just turn ourselves in to the monsters?” His eyes were searching mine while he spoke, looking for something, for anything, that would let him know that there was hope that I would see his point. “I have been an ass. I have hurt you for things that weren't your fault. I have done a lot of thinking lately. This world is too dangerous to act the way I’ve been acting. You did what you needed to do to survive Cat. You fed yourself to the Dominus to save me, and I repaid you by acting like a child.” He was looking at something over my head now. “I am going to be better Cat. I am going to be the man that you deserve. The one that at the end of the day you look forward to coming home to, the one that is in your mind when you go to bed each night, and the one that you think about when you first wake up.” Darien was sincere; I should have said something, I should have told him that I didn’t believe in love, but I couldn't. For once in my life, I needed to see what happened next.
Good or bad, his next move meant the world to me. He smiled when I didn't protest and the worry lines eased from his face. Instantly the scowl that had been leaving tiny little lines in his forehead since we had come to South Carolina were gone. He looked younger again, he looked less worried and the twinkle in his eye came back. My heart cried out for that twinkle more than I realized. At that moment I would have done anything to keep that twinkle alive.
What I did next even surprised me a little. I leaned forward and I kissed him. I let myself push all the sorrow I had felt for what I had done to him out of my body and my passion poured out. His lips melted into mine. They belonged there, brushing, nibbling and lustily bruising with heat. I was shocked when he was the one that pulled back. I didn’t even try to hide the confusion on my face. I was breathless and when I opened my eyes he was looking at me like I was something from another world.
“Not like this Cat, not this time. I want to romance you and give you your love story. I want to show you that love isn't about sex, love is about this,” he said and he traced his thumb across my lips making me whimper before I could stop myself, “and this,” he said again and he traced his hand down my arm, giving me chills. I ached for him in a way that was new to me. I wanted him to touch me more. I wanted him to be the one in control. I wanted to hear him tell me what to do and when I did it, I wanted to hear him whisper to me that I had done it right. That sudden realization should have scared me. Instead, it did actually just the opposite. I embraced it. I felt my body relax. I wanted to not have to think. I just wanted to feel, to get wrapped up in something beyond myself. I trusted Darien and I wanted once in my life, to just go along with the ride. I wanted the romantic adventure he had promised me. I wanted to be with him fully, and I wanted to do it sober. I wanted that moment where you are so comfortable with someone that you fall into their arms and every touch feels like the first one. There was nothing wrong with wanting that, right? I needed to believe that so much.
Chapter Five
The rest of the night was spent with the two of us getting to know each other all over again. We talked about everything, we laughed about the past and we cried for the future, not knowing what it would bring. All of the hurt that we had caused each other was discussed, worked through, and in some cases yelled about, but ultimately resolved. For the first time in months my heart wasn’t heavy with guilt but instead filled with contentment, friendship and love.
As the hours went by I was sure that even if I didn't believe in the kind of love that fairy tales were made of, I could believe in loving Darien. I had always loved him in one way or another; from the first time he stood beside me against the others until now, sitting here in my apartment. I was OK with the fact that this kind of love was just the next progressive step for us. I was able to admit something to myself that surprised me a little. If the rest of the world disappeared and it was just me and him growing old together, I could spend my life just like this. He was my best friend. How easy would it be to fall in love with your best friend? Lying on the couch under my blanket in his arms, I was content. I was safe and warm and knew that nothing could hurt me when he was there.
The night went on for what felt like forever, a magical and unending eternity. I felt so at peace and so warm that I almost drifted off to sleep when the phone startled me back awake. No one ever called me this early in the morning. They all knew better. That meant it had to be something horrible. I didn't need horrible right then, I needed magic. I deserved magic for just a little while longer. The best I could hope for at this point was a wrong number. Yes, I was sure that is what it had to be: just a wrong number. I desperately thought “wrong number” in the hope that thinking it hard would make it real. We were safe just like we were. There wasn't any reason for it not to be a wrong number. The whole time I was hoping, the phone just kept ringing. I wondered if Darien was thinking about ignoring it just like I was. It was Darien that cracked first, the ringing must have gotten to him, which meant no need for me to get up to answer it. Darien was on his feet with a quickness that I still couldn't quite get used to.
I watched emotions play out on his face with every word that went into his ear. Part of me was hoping that he would never put down the phone because as long as he kept talking, I wouldn’t have to deal with whatever he was listening to on the other end of the handset.
“Walker needs to meet with all of us. He said it was important and that he needs to see us right away.” The look on his face was a mix of disappointment for the chance that we just lost and worry about what was coming next.
“Cat, please promise me you didn’t do anything that would cause an emergency meeting.” It made me smile a little; it was kind of nice to be considered the perpetual trouble maker.
“I promise Darien I have been on my best behavi
or lately; I haven’t even killed a monster this week.” I turned my smile into a frown and batted my eyelashes in false innocence. He smiled back. His smile always made my heart flutter and today was no different.
Chapter Six
We spent the walk back to the base trying to figure out what was going on. Our group hadn’t had one of these meetings in a long time which meant something bad was happening. Walker never held meetings to announce good news, his meetings were never good. I tried to crack a couple of jokes to lighten the mood and it worked for a second, but the fact that the meeting was called so rapidly scared me more than I wanted to admit. The feeling in the pit of my stomach wasn’t helping much either. The last time I had this feeling was when I thought Darien was going to get killed in a bar fight.
Walking into the base felt like coming home. Even if it was clear across the country and for the most part void of life, there was still something safe about being there. Every time I walked in, I could feel the presence of the others in my family that had died and it warmed my heart. They had never been there and never would since their lives had been stolen, but feeling as if they were there had to mean something. Seeing Walker standing there with a serious look on his face, however, was enough to chill me to the core and send shivers down my spine.
“Why so serious Walker, what is going on?” Darien asked, stopping mid step after seeing Walker standing in the room.
“Good luck, I have asked 200 times and he refuses to talk.” Jaden sounded impatient, that in itself was something very rare. Jaden was the common force that held us back from killing each other. He was the glue that bonded our little dysfunctional family together. He was the level headed peacemaker.
