Usually there was the whole cuddle versus not cuddle. Plus the conversation. Often the conversation went along the lines of “was it good for you?” Because it wasn’t always. Sometimes it wasn’t at all. Generally she walked around the truth, not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings.
For an assortment of reasons, she often wished to avoid the whole postcoital chitchat. So she’d never once in her entire life had to lie there, flushed with an incredibly relaxed feeling while fighting growing humiliation over her body’s inability to stop having orgasms.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Zane shifted off of her. “What?”
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Done what?”
She heard the caution in his voice.
“I was too...you know.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Too, what?”
“Wanton.”
There wasn’t any sound. Not even a hint of sound. Then he laughed. It wasn’t a chuckle. It was a huge, from-the-belly laugh. The kind that made it impossible for the person laughing to move or breathe or even stop.
“Zane?” She shook his arm.
He continued to laugh. The sound seemed to echo all around them.
“Zane, stop. You’ll wake up everyone.”
That seemed to get his attention. She sensed his attempt to control himself, although a few guffaws escaped.
“This isn’t funny,” she told him in a heated whisper.
He leaned close. She couldn’t see him, but she could feel him.
“Phoebe, you’re the most amazing lover I’ve ever had. You’re sexy, responsive to the point of being a lethal weapon, sweet, funny, caring and if I had a box of condoms, I’d use every single one before sunup. But you’re not wanton.”
His words made her feel a little better, but only a little. “I don’t usually, you know, climax that much. Or at all.”
“You did with me.”
“I know.”
“I wanted to please you.”
She smiled. “I could tell.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want you to think less of me.”
He touched her cheek, then outlined her mouth. “I think the world of you.”
Her concern faded like mist in sunlight. “Really?”
He kissed her. “Absolutely.”
Zane should have known Phoebe wouldn’t be like other women, he thought as he settled next to her and pulled her against him. Not out of bed and certainly not in it.
“Anything else you want to worry about?” he asked, sure there was.
“Well...” She sighed. “I know guys aren’t into the whole all-night thing. I should probably go stay with Maya until morning.”
They were lying naked on his sleeping bag, their legs tangled, his fingers in her hair. He could smell her and their recent lovemaking. After sex most women wanted to talk, and he didn’t doubt that Phoebe was in the mood for a lengthy discussion on emotions—particularly his.
Normally that would send him running for the hills. He liked his relationships easy, with well-defined rules. No caring, no commitments and definitely no spending the night.
Which meant it was crazy for him to say, “You can stay here if you don’t mind the cramped quarters.”
She shifted in his arms. He guessed she was peering at him in the darkness. “Really?”
“Sure.”
“Okay. I’d like that. But we have to get up early so no one knows I spent the night here.”
“Cookie’s going to figure it out when I don’t show up to share the wagon with him in this rain, but don’t worry. He won’t say anything.”
“Good.”
They made their way into the sleeping bag. It was crowded, and she was still naked, so it only took about three seconds for him to get hard again.
She reached between them. “Are you sure there aren’t any more condoms?”
He flexed at her words, then groaned softly. It was going to be a long night. “Positive.”
He was torn between asking her to stop tormenting him and begging her to keep on doing it. The outcome of the latter was inevitable, and in a sleeping bag, more than a little messy.
Just a few seconds more, he told himself as he closed his eyes and gave himself up to the steady stroking of her hand. He would stop her before things got out of control.
But Phoebe being Phoebe and his attraction to her being what it was, that point of “out of control” arrived a lot faster than he would have realized. Painfully aroused and right on the edge, he grabbed her wrist.
“You’re killing me.”
“So not my purpose.”
Then she stunned him by opening the sleeping bag, pushing it away and sliding down between his legs. As her fingers toyed with his testicles, her mouth settled on his erection. From there it was a thirty-seven-second journey to heaven.
Later, when he’d returned the favor and they were back in the sleeping bag and tangled together, Zane allowed himself to wonder what life would be like with Phoebe. Would she enjoy his world or would the wide-open spaces wear on her? He had a feeling she would hold genealogy classes for the goats and self-actualization classes for the steers. She would make him crazy, and she would make him laugh.
She would love him.
Phoebe was the kind of woman who, once she committed to a man, would give her heart completely. She would love with her whole being, and forever, unless the guy was a complete jerk and broke her heart. Phoebe was made to love and be loved.
She could never be for him. He didn’t want to love anyone—ever. Love was isolation and danger and pain. Which meant he should have told her to head over to Maya’s tent. Safer for him and for her.
Instead he pulled her sleeping body close to his and lightly kissed her hair.
Tomorrow, he promised himself. He would end this tomorrow. Was it so wrong to want to have this one night to remember?
* * *
ZANE AWAKENED THEM both early. By the time Chase stirred, he had both their tents down and was on his third cup of coffee. Phoebe had promised she could act completely normal, but looking at her from across the fire, he wasn’t so sure. There was no way anyone could see her dreamy expression and not know something was different.
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “What? You keep looking at me. I know my makeup can’t be smudged. I’m not wearing any.”
It didn’t matter; she was still beautiful.
“You look different,” he told her. “Satisfied.”
Color flared on her cheeks. “You’re only saying that because you know the truth.”
“Uh-huh.”
He doubted that, but maybe she was right. Or maybe the weather would be enough of a distraction to keep everyone from figuring out the truth.
“How long is it going to rain?” she asked as she fingered a pole holding up the canvas sheet they put up to protect the fire and the seating area around it. “It sure got cold and damp in a hurry.”
Zane shrugged. “No way to tell. The storm is supposed to hang around for a few days, but maybe it will blow over.”
He hoped it would. Traveling in the rain wouldn’t be fun for anyone. And he couldn’t simply turn them around, head to the ranch and be there in time for lunch. They were at the farthest point from his house. It was a full two-day ride back.
Phoebe finished her coffee. “I’m going to check and see if my things are dry,” she said as she stood.
He nodded, then watched her go.
Cookie had started a second campfire on the far side of camp. Phoebe’s clothes and sleeping bag were getting a dose of smoky warm air in an attempt to get them dry before they headed out. Zane knew the old man wouldn’t tease Phoebe. Instead he would save his comments for Zane.
“Hey,” Chase said as he approached. “The rain sucks.”
“Agreed.”
His younger brother settled on a log. “I checked on the cattle. They’re fine. The clouds don’t loo
k like there’s going to be any lightning or thunder, but they look plenty wet.”
Zane nodded. “Storm’s supposed to last two days. I was hoping it would hold off until Saturday.”
Chase sipped his coffee. “Everybody okay?”
There was something about the question. Zane stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Just checking.”
Had Chase heard something in the night? Zane shook his head. Not possible. His tent had been some distance from the others, and the rain had blocked out a lot of noise. Nothing about his brother’s expression told what he was thinking.
“We’re heading back today, right?” Chase said.
“That’s the plan. I wish it wasn’t a two-day ride.”
“There’s—”
Chase stopped speaking and stared at his coffee. Zane knew what he’d been about to say. Reilly’s place. It was only about an hour’s ride. The old man would give them shelter until the worst of the storm passed, and even send out a few of his men to watch over the cattle until then.
But Zane wasn’t about to impose on his neighbor. Not now and not ever.
He glanced at the sky and wondered how long he could take a stand in weather like this. Whatever his issues with Reilly, his guests’ safety came first.
“I better see how everyone’s doing,” he said as he tossed the rest of his coffee into the fire.
“Before you go,” Chase said and held out something in his hand. “I wasn’t sure if you had enough with you.”
Zane stared at the three condoms resting on his brother’s palm. Then he glanced at Chase, who was grinning.
“Way to go, big brother.”
Not knowing what to say, Zane rose and stalked off. But not before he took the condoms. He might be stubborn, but he wasn’t a fool.
* * *
FOR THE FIRST time since starting on the cattle drive, Phoebe wasn’t having fun. It was wet and cold, and the bad weather showed no signs of letting up.
Lucy rode next to her. The girl was soaked to the skin, and Phoebe was afraid she’d started to shiver.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
Lucy nodded, but when she tried to speak, her teeth chattered.
This couldn’t be good. Right now Phoebe was so darned happy that she could have survived a seven-day blizzard, keeping warm on the glow left over from her night with Zane, but there were more people on this cattle drive than just herself.
C.J. rode up. Her face tightened with obvious concern. “Lucy, honey, don’t you have a raincoat? Your jacket is dripping.”
“I’m ok-kay,” the girl muttered. “I’m having fun.”
C.J. glanced at Phoebe. “We can’t go on like this,” she said. “The kids will get sick.”
Phoebe nodded, but before she could decide what to do, Rocky slipped in the thick mud on the trail.
The large horse sidestepped quickly and nearly went down. Phoebe shrieked as she clung to the saddle. After a couple of steps the long-legged horse managed to catch his balance. When she was able to breathe and relax her death grip, she looked up and saw Zane riding up.
“Everyone gather round,” he yelled. “Chase, bring Martin and Thad over.”
He wore a thick coat that looked as if it could repel any liquid known to man. His cowboy hat protected his face and neck and his leather gloves probably kept his hands warm.
So there was more to this Western wear than just fashion, Phoebe thought humorously. After last night, she could even understand the appeal of shirts with snaps. The easier to get undressed quickly.
Maya rode up and stopped next to her.
“This sucks,” she said sourly. “I hate being wet.”
Phoebe nodded. “It’s no fun.”
“I doubt it’s going to get any better. I have no idea where we are, which probably means we’re not that close to the ranch.”
When all the folks had moved close to Zane, he spoke.
“We’ve hit a patch of bad weather, and I doubt it’s going to let up anytime soon. We need to get to cover. The ranch is a good two-day ride from here.”
Maya didn’t look surprised at the news, but several people groaned.
Eddie shook her head. “Gladys and I are up for it, people. So you have to be, too.”
Zane held up a gloved hand. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to make you stay out in the rain that long. There’s another ranch about an hour from here. We’ll leave Chase and Cookie with the cattle and ride directly there. We should arrive before lunch.”
Phoebe was stunned. “Reilly’s place?”
Maya stared at her. “How do you know about Reilly?”
“He told me—about what happened before and why they don’t get along.”
Maya’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute. He told you? Chase doesn’t even know what happened. Tell me.”
Phoebe wasn’t about to betray Zane’s confidence, but before she could say that, he spoke again.
“Thad will take one of the kids, and I’ll take the other. We’ll tie their horses to the back of Cookie’s wagon.”
“Why?” C.J. asked.
“Hypothermia. They’re too small to survive in the rain and cold on their own.”
C.J.’s face paled as she stared at Lucy and Tommy. “I had no idea. Are they going to be all right? I don’t want anything to happen to them.”
Phoebe was warmed by her concern. She’d come a long way in a short time.
“They’ll be fine,” Zane promised.
Thad slid off his horse and walked toward Tommy. “Hey, big guy. You and me are going to have some fun.”
The boy was shivering too hard to do much more than nod as Thad plucked him off his mount. Zane moved his horse next to Lucy’s and simply grabbed the girl around the waist. When she settled on the saddle in front of him, he unbuttoned his coat, tucked it around her, then fastened the bottom three buttons.
“I wish he could do that with me,” Maya said with a shiver. She narrowed her gaze. “But don’t for a minute think all this means I’ve forgotten. I want to know the secret.”
“Later,” Phoebe said, knowing she was putting off the inevitable confrontation with her friend.
But she didn’t want to get into it now and have an audience while she explained that while she hadn’t actually promised to keep Zane’s secret, she felt obligated to protect him and his past. Her heart ached when she thought about all that had happened to him when he’d been Chase’s age.
Thad wrapped Tommy in his coat and put a protective arm around the boy. C.J. leaned close and smoothed his hair off his face.
“You’ll be warm soon,” she promised.
Phoebe moved next to Zane. She smiled reassuringly at Lucy, then lowered her voice. “Reilly won’t have a problem taking us in?” she asked.
He shook his head. “This is Fool’s Gold. We look out for each other.” His mouth curved in a smile. “I may be forced to bunk down in the barn, but you’ll all be treated like honored guests.”
Chase rode up. “All ready?”
“Just about. Grab the kids’ horses. I’ll be back in the morning. Stay sharp.”
Chase grinned. “Cookie and I will hunker down in his wagon. Don’t sweat it. We’ll play cards.”
“Not for money,” Zane told him.
“Are you kidding? I don’t want to get more in debt.”
Cookie poked his head out from the wagon cover. “He’ll be fine. I’ll take good care of the boy. There’s plenty of grazing for the steers, and God knows, they don’t seem to notice the rain. Just get on back here tomorrow so we can head home.”
“Will do,” Zane promised and turned back to the group. “Let’s go.”
Phoebe waved goodbye to Manny, then urged Rocky forward.
Zane kept them at a walk until they’d left the herd behind, then he kicked his mount into a trot. Phoebe winced as her backside slapped against the hard saddle.
“S-sorry, buddy,” she told Rocky. “I know this can’t be pleasant for you.
”
She clung on as best she could while her insides were being pummeled into the consistency of a smoothie. When they’d cleared the trees, Zane urged his horse faster still.
She felt Rocky speed up, and suddenly his gait smoothed out. There was a back and forth rocking, but it was easy to stay in place. Plus, it felt like they were going really fast.
“Are we galloping?” she yelled to Maya.
Her friend grinned. “Not even close. This is a nice slow canter.”
“I like this.”
“Yeah. It cuts down on bruising.”
They rode on through the rain, but knowing they were going to be out of it soon made Phoebe not mind about the damp cold. Whenever she started to shiver, she thought about the previous night, when she’d lost herself in Zane’s arms. It wasn’t just that he’d made her feel so good, it was that she’d felt so safe with him. Like she could say or be anything.
When the sensual memories got to be too much, she wondered if he was worried about facing Reilly again after all these years. Would the old man welcome him with open arms or torment him about the past? Phoebe found herself hoping Reilly would be kind.
At last they crested a rise, and she saw a well-tended ranch stretching out before them. She took in the tidy pastures, the secure fencing and the charm of the sprawling ranch house. A few minutes later they were sliding off their horses while Zane walked to the freshly painted red front door. It opened before he got there, and an old man stepped out.
He was thin and bent, with thick gray hair and dark eyes that seemed able to see through solid objects. He and Zane stared at each other for a long time before the old man spoke.
“Well, lookee here. Didn’t expect to see you dripping on my front porch, Zane. What can I do you for?”
The words were pleasant, as was the man’s smile. Phoebe relaxed a little even as she saw the tension in Zane’s shoulders and heard the stiffness in his voice as he spoke.
“I need your help,” he said, then explained what had gone wrong.
“Greenhorns on a cattle drive,” Reilly said with a shake of his head. “I never thought I’d live to see the day.” He looked past Zane and gestured everyone inside. “No sense in freezing off your privates. Get in here. I’ll tell Matilda we’ve got company. She’ll be pleased. She gets tired of cooking for an old man with not much appetite.”
Kiss Me (Fool's Gold series) Page 24
