Chapter 9
Back at the house after the feeding and water chore was finished, Jase carried steaks to the grill on his outside patio. Brenna tossed together a salad. He came in and stood behind her when she wiped down the counter.
“Can I wash my hands?” Brenna moved to the side. “How do you like your steak?” he asked pushing down the hand soap dispenser.
Brenna wondered what there was not to like about this guy. He cooked and had healthy food in his refrigerator. His wife had to be crazy for…wait, she didn’t know why they broke up. He turned off the faucet and flipped his fingers in front of her face, splattering water all over her, grinning so innocently.
“Hey, what are you doing? You don’t want to start splashing.” His face beamed with a delightful mischievousness.
“Must I repeat my question, Miss Brenna Page? How do you like your steak? Tell me or you’ll get it like I give it to you.”
She was sure he didn’t mean it like it sounded. “Good’n cooked.” She leaned one elbow on the counter. “Are you always so bossy?” Surveying his face, not afraid to stand there checking him out now, she loved what she saw. She was no longer distrustful of him. This wasn’t like her at all. Alone in a near strangers home? A single, hot guy? What got into her? Her conscience reminded her that a man named Jase weakened her.
“Well, we have something in common, girl. I like my meat cooked, too, sort of. You wouldn’t like it my way.”
Brenna tried not to smile when she looked at him, but it was like her quirking lips had their own will.
“Where the hell did our beer go? We had it before we went outside.” Jase glanced out the window. “I have to turn those steaks.” He left for the patio, turned them over, and grabbed the beer mugs from the dining room table when he returned. He handed one to her. “Warm now.” He downed it.
Brenna took a drink and made a face. “Warm beer is awful.”
He sauntered to the refrigerator and pulled out another can, popped it, and dumped the warm liquid before filling her glass with the cold brew. He poured another into a mug for himself. Brenna stood straight. Here they were again and she sizzled like the steaks out on the grill.
This time Jase set his beer down, wrapped his hands around her waist and took a step in. Her breath caught. She circled her arms over his shoulders. He was even more handsome close-up with just a tad of scruff beginning to show on his face. She liked the way it gave him a rugged look, but now she met his gaze.
Jase took a deep breath, his solid chest rising with the inhale and falling back as he exhaled. She still wanted nothing more than to kiss his mouthwatering lips. He lowered his face closer to hers. Brenna could have moved if she wanted to. That was the problem. She didn’t want to, for she was so attracted to him she could barely see straight. What about him? She licked her dry lips. “I want to kiss you.”
He clenched her upper arms and brought her in. “I might not be able to stop if you kiss me again.” Words barely spoken, and he crushed his lips against hers. She stood on her toes to reach him better when she wrapped her fingers around his neck, taking in every soft touch from his mouth. His kiss was hungry as if a rage battled inside of him, but hers might have been hungrier, the rage battling longer.
She lost all sense when she stroked her tongue across his. Lost, not knowing if she ever had a kiss so good, and his tongue teased her back. He tasted like sweet beer, his mouth warm and wanting. She didn’t want it to stop, but he pulled away. Swallowing almost didn’t happen until she forced it.
Their gaze connected. Brenna glanced at his lips. Kissable lips. Lifting her eyes back to his, she sighed, a rather loud sigh, and he smiled like she hadn’t seen before. The sadness in his face, softened and his eyes danced.
“My goodness,” she said. She repeated her last words, but Jase covered her mouth with two fingers. “Shh.” She held his hand against her chest, and he wrapped his fingers around hers. She had no doubt that this could easily turn into something fabulous. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything, Brenna. I wanted it.”
His seductive grin sent chills throughout her entire body—she placed her hands on his waist and moved closer to him. This was the look of the real man—Jase Carlson. She knew it had to be. “I want you to be happy again.”
“You made me real happy there with that kiss, girl.” He closed his eyes momentarily then focused on hers again. “Real happy. You give me hope.”
Her eyelashes fluttered at what she wanted to say…that making him happy appeared to be her goal, but she didn’t know why, or how any of this even happened. All she knew was she kissed him again…and she could kiss him continually. So she did, and his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into him. Hungry, yes. They were both hungry. She melted against him, her arms tight around his back, squeezing, pulling at his shirt as if to rip it off.
Jase jerked away. “Damn, the steaks!” He turned and headed toward the door to the patio, gripped the door jamb with both hands. He stopped where he was, pivoted abruptly on one heel and raced back—hugged and kissed her one more time. Jase winked. Her heart beat out of control. He left and ran for the door, grabbing a meat fork off the counter on the way out.
Brenna fell back against the counter, shuddering. Focusing on her breathing, she attempted to get it under control, because at the moment her control went out the door with him and jumped into those hot coals. She lifted her mug and took a drink. Placing the cold glass against her forehead, he found her that way when he entered.
“The cold mug is a good idea.” He set the plate of charred steaks on the table in the dining room, came back and drank the rest of the beer in his glass. “Are you a wine drinking kind of girl?”
“Sometimes, but not now. I don’t like to mix it with beer.” She inhaled and let out a slow breath. “Do you like wine?”
“I’m more of a beer or whiskey kind of guy. Now.” He went to the refrigerator and grabbed another one, offered one to Brenna, but she refused it. “Here ya go.” He brought out steak sauce, the salad with dressing and handed the bowl to her, and closed the fridge. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go eat.”
They set the items on the table. He pointed to the cupboard in the kitchen where she could find plates and she took a stack, and bowls for their salad while he grabbed utensils and steak knives. Jase poured the third beer into his mug.
“Looks like the steak is how you like it tonight.” He held the chair out for her.
“Thank you, kind sir.” Brenna tilted her head back, lifted her eyes to his and gave him a simple nod.
“I’m not a kind sir. I’m a plain old horse rancher kind of guy.” When he took a seat he stared at her, his eyes narrowing.
In an instant, his other look retuned—the one she met at her school building. “It’s okay to be kind and a rancher.”
“Is it now? I tried that. It didn’t work.”
She gave him a serious stare. “I suggest you don’t give up on trying again.”
***
Brenna helped Jase put things away and clean up when dinner ended. “I’d ask you to take a seat in the living room and watch the sunset with me, but I don’t have anything to sit on.” He snickered in a devious way and stood at the window, asking her to join him. She decided not to ask for details.
“See that big pile out there? That’s what’s left of my furniture.”
Reading his eyes was impossible. He lifted his beer glass to his lips and took a drink.
“Do you mind if I get a glass of water?” She headed for the kitchen. “Which cupboard do you keep the glasses in?” Turning back she saw he had watched her, but he didn’t answer her question. She waited. “Jase?”
He lifted his eyes to hers. “What are we doing here, Brenna?” He licked his lips and stuck his hand into his pocket. “I can’t do anything about you.”
Huh? Where’d Jase go? Brenna entered the kitchen and began looking for a glass, found one and held it under the faucet. At the moment she couldn�
��t turn to face him. What had he meant? She listened as his footsteps came closer and he stopped behind her.
“Are you afraid?” She took a drink to wet her parched throat, and then faced him. “You don’t have to be afraid.”
“Don’t I? I said I’d never give a woman another change to hurt me like I’ve already been hurt. I can’t take that again.” His voice quaked, shoulders drooped, and his brows were furrowed. He was a broken man. She wanted to hug, comfort him. He walked to the fridge and grabbed another beer.
Before he popped the top, she said, “If you keep drinking I’ll have to drive myself home.”
Stopping, he peered at her and surveyed the can in his hand. Hesitating, he took a look up again, his teeth against his bottom lip. “You have a point there.” He sat it back in the fridge. “Sometimes I forget how much I’ve had to drink.”
Well, that didn’t sound good. “Can I tell you something?” She looked to the ceiling. Nice lights, but her answer wasn’t there. Why’d she want to tell him her story anyway?
Jase grabbed her hand and led her outside to the back part of the patio. “Have a seat here, it’s great for watching that mountain glow. Might not be able to stay out long.” He waited until she sat before he did. “You best be careful who you condemn this mountain to in this town, darlin’. People around here appreciate Superstition. It has a history and tourists come from all over. Remember your homework.”
What’s up with this man? “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for telling me. I probably wouldn’t have met you without that distraction.” Watching him pour beer after beer got her to thinking that maybe there was something not to like about him.
Jase slid his arm around her shoulder. “Watch. We have the best seat there is.” He took his right hand and turned her face toward him. He spoke in a near whisper. “What did you want to tell me?”
She didn’t like the idea of him drinking and driving her home. It sent a chill straight through to her bones. “Do you wonder why I’ll have my sister with me? Why I’m raising her now?”
“It’s none of my business.” He removed his arm from behind her. “Look if it’s about the drinking, it’s not something I make a habit out of. That’s a lie.” He tilted his head and sighed. “I lied to you. Don’t waste your time with a liar. Sometimes the nights are hard to get through, Brenna.” He brushed his knuckles against the side of her face. “I don’t have distractions. If I pass out, I don’t have to worry about what haunts me.” His jaw clenched. “My kids have been stolen from me by their mother. I miss them every minute—day and night.”
“I’m so sorry, Jase.” Not like anyone had to tell her about finding distractions to get to sleep. “Sometimes we cope the best way we know how. You look like a man who takes care of himself. Maybe you should think of another way.” She had to look away. Definitely not the right thing to say and not her place. Brenna decided this wasn’t the time to mention why Chloe lived with her. She placed her hand over his.
“I have sole custody of my kids and I have no idea how to find them. This is constantly on my mind.” Bringing her fingers to his lips, he kissed them, his mouth lingering against her knuckles.
Brenna watched his lips touch her hand. The act sent chills. She brought his hand to her lips. Did her kiss do the same to him? The way he closed his eyes and the peaceful look on his face said yes, but he was so torn.
He slowly opened them. “You need to understand my goal right now is to get those kids back here where they belong. That’s where my time is spent. I work to keep this ranch going for them. I played for the last couple of days, but there is no time for a woman in my life.”
His words said something different than his eyes, actions, and kisses. He attempted to hide a longing. If she looked real hard, it was easy to find. “I’m not asking for anything. We barely know each other.” Still, she had a longing for him, barely knowing each other or not. “Everybody needs a friend.” Jase brought her hand to his lips again, but this time he stuck his tongue against her fingers. He licked his lips as if tasting her.
He moved closer, his lips inches from hers. “You wanna be friends with me?”
Why is he doing this? “Yes, if it means spending time with you. I think you’re worth getting to know. You’ve been broken and maybe forgot what it was like to…have another woman care for you—” He didn’t let her continue because he grasped her behind the neck with both hands and pulled her forward. He kissed her roughly, his lips devouring, his tongue parting her lips, and she gave it all right back.
Reaching around to his neck, she grasped the long hair at the back. Brenna moved her hand over his shoulder and down to his arm, wrapping her fingers as much around his bicep as she could. Jase pulled away as fast as he had kissed her, leaving her breathless and wanting more.
He narrowed his eyes. “You wanna be friends with that? I can’t resist kissing you. That’s not how a friend kisses a friend.” Jase moved his hands to her face and inched closer. “Don’t you get it? I’m not looking for a partner, but you had to do this. You had to get lost.”
“You didn’t have to stop to help.” Brenna took hold of his wrists, pulled his hands from her face and moved back. “It’s time I go home.” She stood and took her glass into the kitchen. He remained sitting on the patio. This whole evening had fizzled. His persona almost became unlikeable and he probably did it on purpose so she’d walk away. She needed to get home, yet he didn’t move from his spot to take her there.
Pacing in the kitchen she thought about what he said. His kisses burned, not only her lips but deep in the pit of her belly, too. He brought out yearnings in her body that she never had before. Something about him sucked her in, but plainly he wasn’t ready. She sighed. Dammit. It was time to get back to business. She went outside. “Will you drive me home now?”
He stood but remained by the chaise. “Come here. You’re missing the sunset.” He pointed over his shoulder. “Look.”
Brenna peered past him. The mountain burned red from the sun’s reflection. A spectacle for sure. He held his hand out. She went toward him and when she got close he embraced her, his posture softened. This man lived in agony for sure.
“I don’t mean to hurt you.” He dropped his forehead to her shoulder. “My resistance isn’t very strong right now, a surprise to me. I struggle with my brain fighting with my emotions, and that’s not all. I don’t know which will win.”
Brenna ran her fingers through his hair and left her hand against the side of his face. “I’m so sorry you long for your wife, and for the ache from what she did to you.”
He jerked his head from her shoulder and gripped her arms. “I don’t long for her. She means nothing to me anymore. I don’t even hate her now. Because of her my life is on hold. My children. They’re what I long for.”
She thought it through before saying it, not even knowing why she meant to bother. Clearly the man didn’t want a relationship, but she said it anyway. “I’d like to help you get your life back.”
Again Jase laid one hand against the side of her face while his other smoothed her hair behind an ear. His touch was so gentle when he wanted it to be. He tilted his head, his eyes showing more than he wanted for sure.
“Brenna, sweet woman as you are, I fear I’ll do nothing but hurt you. You can see how up and down I am right now.”
“Jase Carlson, your eyes and your kisses say something else whether you want to listen or not. We’ve had fun together.”
“And therein lies the problem. I don’t even know you, but I have to admit I’m drawn to you in some uncanny way. What shall I do about it is the question.” He hung his head in despair. “Honestly, I don’t know if I can move forward while I’m still in the process of searching for my children.” His chest rose with a sigh. “You still want to go home, I’ll take you…but I don’t mind if you stay a little longer. I’ll keep my bad locked up.”
No, let it loose. Brenna wanted to laugh about that, but afraid he’d take it the wrong way, she didn’
t. “I’m not in hurry and the sunset is as spectacular as I’ve heard. The blood orange sky is eerie, yet has its own magic.”
“Let’s walk.” He headed off the patio and into the desert a little ways. “Listen. Coyotes are out there. You might hear a gray wolf.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, darlin’, they’re as real as you and me. They mean you not much harm. I hear them every night. Kind of like it, too.”
He clenched her hand tighter. No doubt being beside him was pleasant. Here she was, walking through the desert in small-town-Arizona where cowboys, coyotes, and pain were real. She gave his hand a squeeze and went along by his side. At this point, she had no idea what direction they were headed. Literally.
Chapter 10
Jase stopped after he turned into the hotel parking lot and lifted the console. He removed his seatbelt, grasped her arm and kissed her good night, making it last longer, deeper, sexier than he had intended, but he couldn’t pull away like he should have. “You have a great night. Thanks for having dinner with me.” He hated to let her go. Shit. He didn’t know what to do. The feel of her in his arms made him wish she lay under him.
He moved back behind the wheel, and drove under the canopy where he dropped Brenna off at the door, waiting till she got inside. “Well, I didn’t see that comin’.” This was not going to be an easy one. Pulling out of the parking lot, he headed home. Best he got that horse trailer hooked up and hit the highway for the next auction. Put some distance between them… Now. Before it was too late.
After she asked for Nora’s number, maybe he wouldn’t have a choice about seeing her again. Her way of saying good-bye before it started? She could call Nora herself to make the arrangements for the townhouse. “Fuck!” Why was he upset? Because he wouldn’t see her again? He slammed the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. He wanted that girl. He didn’t have time for that girl. But maybe, just maybe he could fit her in. He should fit her in.
Heartbreak's Reward (Double Dutch Ranch Series: Love at First Sight Book 2) Page 10
