by Lee, Lia
“Can I get you folks something else?” the waitress interrupts, suddenly reappearing at the table with a second glass of water. “We have lozenges, antacids, and mints at the till. Or do you need something stronger?” She flashes a knowing, motherly look between us as she leans in a bit. “I can fix you some of the boss’s hot rum toddy…guaranteed to clear the sinuses and calm sore throats,” she says with a wink and a nod.
“Thank you, no,” Levi says, not bothering to ask my opinion on the matter.
“Ma’am?” she prods. Thank you for noticing I need something strong. Like willpower. My eyes fall on the drugstore package in front of me, and I quickly gather it toward me.
“I’m on medication,” I say. “Best not to mix with anything. Thank you, anyway.” The waitress acquiesces and retreats back to the kitchen.
Levi reaches over and snatches the package before I can react. “Meds? What kind of meds?” he says, inspecting the label.
Shit, the last thing I need is my domineering ex-fiancé poking into my private life that he no longer deserves to be part of. He had his chance, and he blew it. “Excuse me,” I croak angrily, reaching to take it back. “That’s mine.”
“Amoxicillin drops and infant Tylenol? These aren’t yours. Who is Mason Wynter?” He draws the package out of my reach and throws me a look, his green eyes smoldering with curiosity and accusation.
“He’s my son,” I snap, holding out my hand for the meds. “He’s sick. He’s only ten months old…please. Give me that package.” I draw in a ragged breath, willing myself not to cough again, and exhale in a pathetic sob. I hadn’t meant to reveal anything to him about my life, but I have no choice now. “Please, Levi.”
His whole demeanour softens at my words, and he falls silent for a moment. “You have a kid?” he finally says, his voice barely a whisper as he returns the packet.
“His name is Mason,” I say, taking hold of the meds and tucking them in my bag where I should have put them in the first place. “Life goes on, Levi.”
Levi shifts his weight on the bench, angling away from me now, as if he thinks he might catch whatever I’ve got. “I know, but…” He folds his large hands on the tabletop and lets out a breath. “Dally, I know we’ve been apart for a while, but that’s some pretty fast action, having a kid and all. It’s not my place to ask but, what happened after I left? Did you…meet someone? Get married?”
If he’d taken the trouble to look at my nude ring finger, he’d know the answer to that part of his question. As for the rest, he doesn’t deserve to know any of it. But I’m a far cry from the confident, assertive young woman I once was. I’m tired and scared. I have no one else to lean on besides my parents, and at age thirty that’s pretty pathetic. Married? Hell. Who wanted to marry an unemployed, mentally unstable chick with a baby on the way? Suddenly I change my mind. Levi does deserve to know, if only to make him feel the same pain I’ve suffered all these months.
I shake my head. “You remember the last time we saw each other?”
“Of course. At the bank, to access the trust fund my parents set up for me.”
I nod. “I waved goodbye to you. You were going on a road trip, you said. To the mountains, to clear your head.”
“I needed to get away,” he says, looking askance, not offering further details. The familiar mix of sorrow and agony churns in my gut again. Is that all he’s got to say for himself? The death of his parents was sudden and tragic, yes. It should have been a chance for us to grow closer, support each other. Instead, he took off, never to be heard from again.
“Get away,” I murmur. “Funny you should put it that way. You weren’t the only one who made a getaway that day. Right after you left, our branch was robbed. There were four of them. They had guns, demanded the cash, forced us down on the floor, the whole movie thing. It was horrible, and surreal. We were all pretty shaken up.”
Levi’s gaze returns to me, wide and intent. “Go on.”
“They left, and we heard a gunshot from outside. The police came, the branch closed, we were all sent home. I thought it was a leave of absence, you know, stress leave. Standard policy after an incident like that. I tried calling you, but you never answered or returned my call. A week later I got a letter stating I’d been terminated. No counseling or return-to-work rehab. Just a small severance for the few years of service I had. It didn’t go far; especially after I found out…that Mason was on his way.” I look into his eyes, searching for a glimmer of understanding. He’s a smart man; he’ll put the pieces together. “I had to move here, move in with my parents. I couldn’t look for another job until after he was born; and he’s been sick so much…” I break off, my eyeballs beginning to sting and my scratchy throat threatening to erupt in another barking jag.
Levi’s expression hardens. “I see. And Mason’s father?”
“He was no help,” I say, blinking back the flood of tears. Fuck it. Let them come. I’ve held them back too long anyway. “Because he disappeared the day of the robbery, before I even knew I was pregnant, and because I never saw him again. Until today.” I swipe at my eyes with my fingers. “You’re Mason’s father, Levi.”
Chapter Three
Levi
What. The. Fuck. I have a son? The concept nearly knocks me to the floor of Annie’s Café. So, there would be a Levi Aaron IV after all; but no. His name is Mason. Mason Wynter, not Strongbow. I have no right to any claim on this kid, but what Dallas is telling me makes me both upset and elated at the same time.
“My God, Dally. I had no idea…I’m…I’m sorry.”
She rips a flimsy napkin from the old-style metal holder on the table and blows her nose in it. “Sorry?” she says, her red-rimmed blue eyes registering disbelief. “Sorry for what? For fathering a child? For leaving me? Where does the list even start about ‘sorry?’”
“All of it,” I say, covering her hands that are knotted in front of her clutching the soiled ball of tissue. This conversation is far too critical to be had in a place like this. We need to leave. I need to take care of this, of her. Of a little boy whom I’ve never met. “We should get out of here. My truck’s a few blocks away. Come on.”
I toss a twenty on the table and signal to the server that we’re leaving. Reluctantly, Dallas allows me to pull her from the booth and usher her out the door. “I have to get home,” she sniffles, her dragging footsteps offering resistance as I guide her along the sidewalk, her arm securely locked in the crook of my elbow. “I have to tend to Mason. My mother’s probably worried sick where I am already.”
“I’ll take you,” I say. “Make sure you get there safe.”
“No!” Dallas insists. “I have my own vehicle, thank you. I’ve taken care of myself without your help for long enough, don’t you think? I hardly need you hovering over me now.”
“Look, I said I was sorry and I meant it. I had my reasons for leaving, believe me, and they weren’t because I didn’t want you. I didn’t know anything about your condition. I’d have come back somehow if I’d known. But I’m here now. I want to take care of you both.”
“You? Take care of us? How? You’ve gone off the map.”
“I have a place. A very private place. I can take you there.”
“Where? Looks to me like you’ve been living in a cave. That’s hardly the place to raise a baby. I haven’t seen you in almost two years. You can’t just sweep into my life again and take charge. What can you possibly offer us?”
I stop walking and spin her to face me, catching her firmly in my arms. “Love. I loved you, Dally. I still do. You tell me we have a son; you wouldn’t deny me the chance to know him, would you? I know I’ll love him, too. Isn’t that what’s most important in a family?”
“It takes more than that, Levi. A lot more. And I’m not talking about money. I know you have plenty of that. I just don’t know if I can trust someone who disappeared without so much as a text or phone call. Where in hell have you been all this time?”
“Not far from here. North
west of Beaver. I can’t tell you where exactly. I’d have to show you.”
“No thanks,” she says, shaking loose from my embrace. “Look, my car’s right there.” She points to a beat-up, mid-size crossover vehicle. “I have to get back. I don’t have time to re-hash the last year and a half right now. Mason needs me.” She breaks free and stalks toward the car.
“Don’t leave it like this, Dally,” I call after her. “We need to talk about this. When can I see you again?”
She turns around, continuing to step backward toward her vehicle. “I usually come to town on Saturdays for the farmer’s market, if I feel up to it. I’ll think about what you’ve said. If you meet me there, we can talk. But I won’t be surprised if you don’t show. It’s what you do best.”
I deserve that. “I’ll be there. Can I ask you one more thing?” I say, ignoring the sting of her sarcastic words.
“What?”
“Did they ever catch the bank robbers?”
Dallas stares at me, one eyebrow raised. Strands of her blonde hair whip across her face in the chilly autumn wind. “Jesus, I guess you have been living in a cave. No. They got away with close to a million dollars. But one of them got gunned down in the parking lot. They never found the shooter.”
I nod in acknowledgment, pondering the ramifications of that. “Not a cave. But close to it,” I say. “I’m just glad you’re all right. Drive safe.” She shrugs and approaches the driver side of the car. I watch her drive away, noting the silhouette of a child seat strapped in the back. It’s as empty as the hole in my heart at seeing her go.
It starts to drizzle rain again as I trudge back to the ranger office. Who’d have thought a trip to town would end this way—me being a father. I can barely process the idea, nor the deep emotions I’m feeling, of the love that Dallas and I once shared, of protectiveness and pride at knowing I have a son. We hadn’t meant that to happen, of course. I guess we got careless a time or two. Like she said, she didn’t know she was pregnant until after I’d left—after that horrible day that I’ve only come to realize the full gravity of in the last few minutes.
They got away. All except one. The one I shot dead in the parking lot. And his partners in crime might still be looking for me, not to mention the Seattle police that are likely still tracking an unsolved homicide. Despite the anguish I feel at having left Dallas and life as I knew it behind, I’d been right to disappear into the woods. And I’d better get my ass back there right fucking now. In addition to everything else, fear tops the list of emotions gripping my chest.
I slip inside the relative safety of my Chevy and drive away, out of Forks and onto the main road leading back through Beaver and into the foothills of the Olympics. I turn on the radio and watch the road ahead turn to mud between the swishing arcs of my windshield wipers. The events of that grim day replay in my mind like a looping reel of bad movie outtakes. Jesus, if I’d known Dallas was in danger, I’d have…You’d have what, asshole? Given up? Gotten down on the ground like a wimp and let them take your money, your truck, and most likely, your life? No. You’d have nailed them all, if you’d had a clear shot.
I’d left the bank, waved goodbye just like she said. Only I’d been carrying a gym bag full of cash, and driving a truck full of camping and hunting gear. My folks were gone, victims of a brutal mugging just a few months before. They’d left the family fortune to me, but I couldn’t face stewarding the future of Strongbow Enterprises in the wake of such violence. I was hollow and rudderless, mad at the universe and uncomprehending of such senseless, cruel turns of fate. I needed time and space, and the mountains of the Pacific Northwest offered just that. I’d planned a walkabout in the forest, living off the land and communing with nature. No time frame in mind, just however long it took to find a way to breathe again.
I realize now that the bastards would have been watching everything going on inside the bank before they made their move; they would have seen my hefty withdrawal. As I stood outside my truck, checking I had everything I needed, including the working condition of my dad’s .035 rifle, the hairs on my neck had raised. I’d sensed the presence approaching me, the bulky body giving off heated waves of adrenaline. Give me the bag, it growled, the voice seeming to house all the evil and violence that was wrong with the world.
The image of his veiled face is still imprinted on my brain, yet all I can define is a heavy beard and moustache. Not enough for a full police description, but a professional criminal wouldn’t take that chance. He’d meant to pull the trigger even if I’d handed him the cash. I remember reaching into the cab slowly, the rifle stock still warm from my handling.
Then I swung. And fired. He dropped like a stone onto the pavement.
My brain went blank. I vaguely recall starting the engine and driving away. My next memory was of the forest all around me. Quiet. Still. Dark. Safe. I knew then I wouldn’t be returning to Seattle, or any city, for a very long time. My assets would be frozen in my absence, and I had enough cash on me to last quite a while. I was done with the world, and at the time had nothing to lose.
Now I do.
Dallas and our baby.
I reach the tree-shrouded lane leading to my cabin and pull around behind it, but don’t get out. I sit, watching the falling leaves and the rain they carry pile up on the windshield. I curse myself for not offering anything more than buying her coffee. I should have given her all the cash I had on me, insisted on taking her home, or to a clinic. Dammit, she was sick, and so was Mason. They are both my responsibility, and I’m out here cowering in the mountain shadows. It’s been more than a year, and no one’s found me yet, though it doesn’t mean they aren’t still looking.
Maybe I’m overreacting, and the whole case has been shoved into the cold pile by now. Maybe I could waltz right in and take back my old life without anyone blinking an eye. Truthfully, I hadn’t tried to keep tabs on the news, nor even wanted to. I had no internet, no electricity. Was the media speculating on the mysterious absence of Strongbow Enterprises’ heir apparent? If so, it wasn’t news out here in Clallam County, Washington. I suppose that’s one of the major things I like about my current home…no one here cares about big-city bullshit. But it’s more than that. I’ve come to realize that scenery, the air, the cool green of the wilderness here is special. It’s gotten into my blood, and I like it. Do I even want my old life back?
Not the one with its problems; problems of endless enterprise, of balance sheets and liability insurance and stock shares. Of keeping up appearances and with the Joneses. Of worrying who is going to stab you in the dark on your way home from a fundraiser gala.
I thought I’d lost my family that night, that I was the end of the Strongbow line. Now the only other person I loved has given me a new family, a new reason to carry on. I can’t ignore that. But I also can’t ignore that Dallas seemed less than thrilled to see me. What if she doesn’t even want me to be part of her life, or our son’s life? The thought cuts me to the bone. I certainly haven’t earned that privilege. Yet.
I straighten in my seat behind the wheel. For the first time in a long while, I know what I want. I want to meet my son. I want to rebuild a relationship with his mother, if she’ll have me. If not, I still have to try, even if it means returning to Seattle. She and Mason are worth the risk. I may not know the answers to all my questions, but I do know where I’m going to be come Saturday.
Chapter Four
Dallas
“Oh, that is so good,” I sigh after tasting a sample of Miller’s Fruit Preserves on a slice of fresh-baked baguette.
“Local grown berries always taste the best,” Josh Miller says as he hands out more samples to the small crowd gathering at his booth in the farmer’s market. “Naturally sweet, full of vitamins and antioxidants.” He glances over me and Mason with a ready smile. “We’ve started a line of baby food, too, did you know?” He hands me a petite jar from a display behind his table.
“Really?” I say, swallowing the last delectable bites of my s
ample. “That’s such a great idea.” I look over the label on the jar of finely pureed applesauce. Nothing added, no sugar, no preservatives. Perfectly natural, with the full goodness every apple had to offer. I’m sure Mason will love it, and maybe that’s just what he needs—more whole food nutrients. “How much?”
Josh winks and waves a hand. “Free sample today.”
I sigh and give him a grateful smile. “Thank you, Josh. That’s very kind of you.”
“If he likes it, you can buy the next jar. But in case he doesn’t, no sense you being out of pocket.” He hands me a plastic spoon. “Let me know what he thinks.”
“Will do,” I say, taking the spoon and maneuvering Mason’s stroller out of the queue forming at Miller’s booth. It’s a lovely autumn day; the sun is shining, and the wind has mercifully stayed away. I almost want to remove my heavy Cowichan-style sweater, but it’s easier carried on my back than in the already overstuffed stroller saddlebags. Besides, I’m still not completely over this darned flu bug that’s plagued me for the last month. The antibiotics seem to have improved Mason’s constitution though, and right now warm sunshine and fresh air make it seem like all we need to get back to normal.
Normal, ha. What was normal? Living day to day in the house I grew up in, sharing my old childhood bedroom with my firstborn? Some kinda normal. My mom and dad of course welcomed us with open arms, but having my career literally shot down and returning home as an unwed mother were not among the plans I had for myself, nor the life I envisioned.
Bumping into Levi again felt akin to seeing a ghost, but it brought back those ambitions I once had in vivid, technicolor detail. As a bright-eyed bank teller, with a background in accounting management, I’d felt poised on the edge of a great career in the financial industry. I’d met Levi at a rock concert, and we just clicked. He was handsome and polished, flush with family money, but never coming across as arrogant or entitled. He was kind and fun-loving, and a future together with him had seemed right and good and beautiful.
