by S. E. Hall
I agree completely; hurting Evan couldn’t be farther from my goal, but who rips someone’s heart out over Christmas? Not to mention, I’m not going to tell him over the phone or via text, and if I try to go home to tell him, Dane will want to come…and I’m not “ganging up” on Evan. I’ll tell him, alone, when it’s right. Until then, I’m just gonna have to live with the self-attached title of Chicken-shit.
“You ready for bed, baby?” Dane sneaks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.
“Mmm hmmm,” I answer, exhausted. It’s been a long day and I can’t think of anything in the world I want to do more than snuggle in with him. I shriek as he sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me up the stairs into his bedroom. He sets me down in the bed, gently pushing me back and tucking the covers under my chin before walking around and climbing into his side. His side. A sleepy smirk sneaks up on me when I think about the fact that I just labeled the sides of his bed.
His breathy, whispered words once he’s tightened up against my back get my attention. “If you’re tired, I understand. But if not, your Christmas present is under your pillow.”
Well now he knew he had me at “present.” My eyes pop open. “You got me a new outfit. And let’s not forget you found my mother. I’d say you’ve met the present quota.” I roll over and smile at him.
“So you don’t need any more presents then? That’s okay; I’ll just give it to Bennett.” He slinks a hand under the pillow to nab my present so I roll over, pulling him on top of me.
“Very funny, smarty-pants. You know I want that present so bad I can’t see straight, but I wanted to make sure you also knew that you’ve already done too much.”
“Baby, I could shower gifts on you every single day and never give you enough. You’re my world and I love making you happy.” He starts kissing my neck slowly, softly, and I forget what I was going to say. “So you’ll take your present, right?”
“Of course I will, but you already knew that, you big tease.” I poke him in the ribs. He rolls onto his back, taking me with him so I now sit on top of him, straddling his hips. He reaches under my pillow and does pull out the gift this time, handing it to me. Gripping my hips, his eyes glaze as he licks his bottom lip. “Open it right here, where I can stare up at you.”
Fumbling, I unwrap it and gasp, my hand flying to my mouth. I shake my head and giggle. “You got us tickets to Hawaii?”
He nods and leans up to lift my shirt slightly, placing a kiss on my stomach. “Two weeks, me and you, in Kauai.”
“But when? I mean, I have school soon. And you, don’t you have work?”
His lips never leave my body, kissing and nipping my belly, waking up every butterfly, so his words are said into my enflamed skin. “Look at the dates on the tickets, baby. We’re going during Spring Break.”
Sure enough, the tickets are dated for exactly when I have almost two full weeks off. My heart beats faster and delight coats my face. He’d booked these tickets when? Before I officially chose him? I’ll bet he did; a giant leap of faith in “us.” He was sure we’d be together months from now. Not that he’ll top Disney World, he simply never will, but he upped the stakes. He sees us as a “we,” and planned this trip, his future, on that. Knowing he really is as invested in me as I plan to be in him mentally excites me, the message soon reaching the rest of my body. I toss the tickets to the side and collapse on top of him, thanking him properly.
The next morning I wake with a stretch, frowning when I realize I’m alone. A quick scan confirms Dane isn’t in the bedroom or bathroom, and while I’m anxious to go find him, I also realize it’s the perfect time to reach out to Evan. Dane doesn’t give me much alone time and I know Evan’s wondering why I’m not home for break, so I need to say something to him.
I find my phone on top of Dane’s dresser and turn it on to madly scroll through all the text messages from Evan. Yup—he wants to know where I am. It takes about five attempts at a message, deleting and starting again, before I’ve got one my conscience can live with and I hit send.
Laney: Merry Christmas Ev! My dad came here for Xmas & that kept me busy. Now I’m sick so just gonna stay here, but I’ll call you soon. Need 2 catch up on things. Hug your parents for me and have a gr8 break!
That’s all I can say right now and I just hope it placates him enough where he can enjoy his time at home until I figure out a way to talk to him face to face. Who knows, maybe he’s met someone, too? Surprisingly, that thought doesn’t make me sick, but rather makes me smile. I do so want Evan to be happy, loved, and cherished. He’s worthy of a woman looking at him the way I now look at Dane.
Dane! I flick my phone off and shove it under my pillow, and after a half-assed attempt at straightening my clothes and hair, I scamper down the stairs to search him out. My body already tingles at the thought of finding him.
“Well hello, sleepyhead.” Bennett beams at me from her perch at the kitchen counter.
“Hey, B, where’re the boys?”
“I don’t know, some Top Secret mission, said they’d be back in an hour. I made it very clear Tate can’t handle any more activity than that.” She snaps her fingers. “Oh, and Dane said to tell you, and I quote, ‘you looked like Heaven so I didn’t want to wake you, but I’ll be back soon and I love you.’ So sweet, Laney, you’re so lucky.”
“That I am.” I blush. “I’m gonna jump in the shower then. What are you gonna do?”
“I think I’ll enjoy the hot tub,” she teases, “since it’s actually free.”
I head upstairs with a chuckle. She’s right—I do love that hot tub.
CARETAKER
Poor Laney, sick on break. My truck can’t make it to her fast enough. I’d decided to surprise her and just show up with some soup, Kleenex, medicine, and a huge stack of movies. I hate that she isn’t feeling well, but my skin still tingles in anticipation of seeing her. My arms ache to wrap around her, hold her, fuse her to me. And her Christmas present? My hands shake at the thought of watching her open it.
I might as well have been driving backwards as long as it took to get here, but my frustration lifts with every step I take towards Laney’s dorm. My girl is inside there, sick and needing me. I try the door, but it’s locked. Growling, I glance around, my eyes desperately seeking out someone to let me in. I could call her to come down and let me in, but then she’d have to get out of bed in her bad health, let alone ruin the surprise, so I opt to mill around and pray someone will come by soon.
Thankfully, I only have to wait about ten minutes when I see him approaching. I know this guy; he was at the club and the hospital the night I was there with Laney. I remember their interactions, he’s her good friend.
“Hey, man.” I stick out my hand as he approaches.
“Hey, um, Evan, right?” he asks, returning my handshake.
“Yeah, and you’re—”
“Sawyer Beckett.”
“That’s right, good to see ya. Laney’s sick, so I came to surprise her, and take care of her. You mind letting me in?”
His expression is confused. He quickly recovers, but I didn’t miss it. “Um…” He looks at the ground, feet shuffling. I stay silent, waiting impatiently for what he’ll say next. The instinctual ache in my chest tells me I’m not going to like it. “Laney’s not here, man.”
Is that it? I blow out in relief. So she ran to the store, or…doctor? Now I’m worried again. “Well, where is she? She’s sick, where could she be?”
Sawyer rubs the back of his neck nervously, his eyes bouncing everywhere but in my direction.
“Please tell me, man. I came a long way and I’m worried about her. Help a guy out,” I implore him.
“Sit down.” He motions to a bench just behind us, which I reluctantly move to and sit on. My leg is bouncing up and down while I wait for him to continue. “I think the world of Laney, she’s the coolest fucking girl ever, and I don’t make a habit of being friends with chicks. So I’m not looking to betray her or get up in her busines
s exactly.”
I suppress my growl and don’t move to wring his neck. I’m not a fool, this guy is freaking huge, but I’m about to lose it. “Just spit it out!” I bark before easing my voice back, not wanting an ass-beating. “Sorry, I mean, what can you tell me?”
“Well,” he says, scrubbing his chin, “why don’t you tell me about you and Laney first? Like, y’all together or what?”
What? Why are we sitting here, virtual strangers, discussing my love life when all I want to do is make my precious girl some damn soup! “What? What kind of question is that?”
“I know you this much,” he indicates a small space between his finger and thumb, “and I adore Laney and my friends. So before I get balls deep in the bullshit, I want a little info. That too much to ask?” He raises his brows, no sign of compromise evident.
“Fine,” I sigh, “Laney and I have been best friends since…” I’m too distraught to do the math. “Well, since ever. Our senior year, I finally told her how I felt and got her to date me.” I smile at the thought. “But a second later, we had to leave for different schools.”
“That sucks,” he mutters.
“Yeah, to say the least.” I laugh at his simple, yet accurate, summation. “So we broke up. Easier that way, or so Laney thought.” I shrug. “Anyway, things have pretty much sucked ass since then, and here I am.”
“Shit, man.” He leans over and runs his hands up and down his thighs. “Okay. You’re a good guy. I know this because Laney cares about you and has nothing but good things to say about you. So I’m gonna help you, and her, once and for all.” He stares at me, a deadly force in his eyes. “But know this. Keep your cool no matter what. You raise a hand to any friend of mine and I won’t hesitate to take your ass out. Capisce?”
I nod, to what I have no idea, really, but he’s my key to Laney. “Capisce.”
“Come on.” He stands and motions to the parking lot. “I’ll drive.”
Fifteen minutes into the most awkward silence and eerie car ride I’ve ever endured, Sawyer opens his phone. “Gotta make this call. Nothing personal,” he shrugs, “loyalties and all.”
WTF did he just say? I nod, completely lost, much like I’ve been doing since I ran into him.
“Hey, man, it’s Saw. Yeah, you too.” He’s listening to the person on the other end now. “Listen, about that…I’m on my way to your house right now. What? Oh yeah,” he laughs, “over that, dude. Saw my folks, got in, got out. Huh? Nah, she’s cool, but not gonna make the cut.” He laughs again, then glances over to me and quickly back to the road. “I’m gonna be at your house in less than 20, so shut the hell up and listen to me. Found Evan at the dorm when I got back and he convinced me to take him to Laney, so we’re on our way.”
There’s a long pause on his end of the conversation. His voice when he speaks again has an angry edge. “Fuck that, man, you know better. Last goddamn thing I want is to be involved, but somebody needs to man up or something, cause this is bullshit. Everyone involved is better than this.” Silence again, but I can hear a heated male voice coming through his phone. “Yeah, yeah, yeah…see ya in a bit.” He closes his phone and tosses it on the dashboard.
There’s tension leering in my body and this whole thing is too weird, so I speak up. “Is Laney okay? She’s not,” I gulp, “in danger or anything, is she?”
“Fuck no.” He looks over at me, his face relaxing. “Seriously, man, she’s fine. I wouldn’t let anybody hurt Laney. But I don’t envy you.”
My hackles go up instantly. “What does that mean?” I ground out.
“It means,” he starts, thinking about his next words carefully, “you wanted to see Laney, I’m taking you to Laney. Ain’t never been in love, thank fuck, but I can’t just do nothing. I’m just not made up like that. You do love her, right?”
“More than anything,” my mouth answers on its own.
“Thought so.” He sighs, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “We’re headed to Dane’s house. She’s there.”
My stomach rolls over and I wipe my hands down my face, hoping to squash the nausea. “Why?” I manage to ask.
Sawyer turns and gives me a dumbfounded look. “Why you think? You been away from her what, five, six months? She went on, Evan. She’s fucking hot.” He chuckles. “Sorry, man. But hell, she is, and cool, and real. Dane noticed. We all noticed, but those two clicked.”
Clicked? Laney doesn’t “click” with other guys. Laney doesn’t care about guys and their pathetic come-ons. Right?
My breathing is erratic at best. I quickly roll down my window, needing some fresh air, stat. We don’t speak again and soon pull up in the driveway of a mansion. Fucker.
Palms sweaty, I take two swipes before getting the door open. My steps to the door feel like they’re taken with cinder blocks for shoes and despite spastic swallowing, my mouth is ashy. Sawyer reaches out to ring the doorbell as I shove my hands deep in my pockets, not wanting anyone to see them shake. The girl I recognize as Laney’s roommate answers the door, her eyes widening when she realizes who I am.
“H-Hey, Sawyer…Evan?” she stutters.
“Hey, Ben, go get Laney, would ya?” Thank God Sawyer’s able to speak, cause I sure as hell can’t.
Despite my head, my heart bounces and my breath catches as she comes around the corner. My princess, long blonde hair damp, beautiful body clad in silky pj pants and a tank top, walks towards me with surprise in her eyes. She chews her bottom lip and looks to Sawyer first. “Thought you went to your parents’ house?”
“Cut it short; Kirby got on my nerves.” He shrugs and opens his arms for her hug, but she doesn’t give it.
“I didn’t realize you were coming.” Her eyes narrow at him.
“I told Dane,” he says firmly.
She nods at him before closing her eyes and sucking in a deep breath. When she opens them, she meets my gaze dead on. “Hey, Evan,” she whispers.
“Hey.” I clear my throat loudly. “Surprise.”
She smiles, but it falls instantly. “Evan, I—” She shudders and stops, Dane moving in behind her, wrapping his arm possessively around her waist.
My eyes move to where their bodies connect, searing, before I look back at her. The chocolate brown symbols of my existence are filled with tears, begging to spill. They tell me everything I need to know, answering every question I can’t ask out loud. I shake my head, dismissing the flashing image of my happily ever after nose-diving and bursting in flames. She isn’t sick. She’s with Dane. With Dane. I lost. I left, and I lost.
I feel like I’m being gutted with a dull knife. I did a lot of things wrong, things I’m ashamed of, but I never gave my heart to another. My heart always waited for her and I took for granted that hers would do the same. With the last shred of strength and dignity I have left, I rip the shiny envelope from my back pocket. “Merry Christmas, princess,” I muster, shoving it into her hand.
In it, my transfer slip. I walked away from UGA and a full scholarship to sit the bench for a year of ineligibility at Southern…to be with her. I can’t change it now. I’ve been released; I’m as good as at Southern. When she opens it, will she come back to me? If she does, will it be for the right reasons? Would I ever know for sure?
“Evan, I—” her voice calls and then fades.
I don’t turn back to look. I’ll never know if she tried to come after me, Dane pulling her back, or if she just let me keep walking. I don’t know if she’s crying or sighing in relief.
Sawyer falls into step beside me and throws his arm over my shoulder. “You a drinker?”
“Not really,” I mumble.
“Wanna be?”
“Fuck yes.”
“Thought so,” he chuckles, banging his hand on the hood. “Get in, bro, I’ll find ya a cure.”
I doubt it.
“Big Green Tractor”—Jason Aldean
“Amazed”—Lonestar
“Ho Hey”—The Lumineers
“End of All Time”—Sta
rs of Track & Field
“The Cave”—Mumford and Sons
“I’ll Be”—Edwin McCain “9 Crimes”—Damien Rice
“Let’s Get Ready To Rumble”—Jock Jams
“This Year’s Love”—David Gray
“Hero”—Enrique Iglesias
“Flightless Bird”—Iron & Wine
“Collide”—Howie Day
“Talking To The Moon”—Bruno Mars
EVOLVE SERIES, BOOK 2
A NOVEL BY
S.E.HALL
Copyright 2013, S.E. Hall
Toski Covey of Toski Covey Photography
Sommer Stein of Perfect Pear Creative
Editor: Erin Roth, Wise Owl Editing
Book Design: Brenda Wright, Formatting Done Wright
All rights reserved.
This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without written permission from the author.
This book is intended for mature audiences only.
Dedicated to everyone who ever had their prayer of true love go unanswered...only to say “Thank You” when it actually was.
DEAR LANEY
My phone is burning a hole in my pocket. Ninety percent of me wants to respond to the text Laney had sent about an hour ago, but the other ten percent, the shred that still has some dignity, is winning. As much as I want an exact explanation, I simply can’t bear to hear it right now.
