by Brenda Novak
Basic curiosity seemed to war with her desire to be rid of him. “You already told me. It was the stranger, Rocky somebody.”
“Rocky Bradley did the damage. But he claims your ex-husband paid him for his trouble.”
Genuine surprise lit Liz’s face. “You’re kidding.”
“That’s what he says.”
She took a moment to work through it, but she eventually drew herself up. “Well, good!”
“Good?” he echoed.
“It’ll make what I’m doing a whole lot easier.”
Carter rounded the table and she backed into a corner. “Somehow I thought you’d be angry. Don’t you want to see him punished?”
“No. I have too many other problems right now to be angry with Keith. Obviously, if he’d do something like that, he needs help.”
“Okay, let’s talk about the other problems in your life.”
Liz’s throat worked as though she was struggling to swallow. “Why?”
“How are you going to answer Dave’s proposal?”
“I’ve already given him my answer.”
Dread filled Carter. “What was it?” he asked softly because his voice couldn’t seem to go any louder.
Her gaze dropped to her feet. “I’m going to marry him,” she mumbled.
A fresh wave of jealousy screamed through Carter. He’d been jealous ever since he’d returned to find Dave with Liz, but hearing those words on her lips gave the ugly emotion razor-sharp teeth. “Then tell me you love him.”
“I’m doing what I think is best.”
“I said, tell me you love him. And look me in the eyes when you do it.” He drew closer, invading her space just to see how she might react. If she wanted Dave, she’d have no trouble telling him to get lost. “We made love just last weekend, Liz.”
She squeezed her eyes closed. “I know. But it’s over when it’s over, remember?”
“It’s over for you?” Lifting one finger, he ran it lightly over her arm. He feared she might recoil, but she didn’t. She watched him touch her, as if mesmerized by the goose bumps that rose in the wake of his hand. “I thought about you the whole time I was gone,” he admitted. “I imagined your skin brushing against mine, the taste of your lips, your legs wrapping around me as I—”
“Stop it,” she said, covering her ears. “I’m engaged.”
Carter could see the desire in her eyes, the blush of warmth his words brought to her cheeks. “That’s bullshit. You want to be with me.”
She looked up at him then, searched his face. “And what do you want?”
“I want to be with you, too. Why do you think I’m here?”
“But how long could we expect it to last?” she countered. “Until you leave next fall?”
Scowling, he jammed a hand through his hair. “Hell, I don’t know. We just met a few weeks ago.”
“And that’s the problem.”
“It’s a problem that I can’t make a commitment after three weeks?”
Her hands clutched the fabric of her Give Me Chocolate and No One Gets Hurt apron. “I’m not asking you for a commitment. I’m not asking you for anything.”
“I’m asking you for something! Tell me what’s happening,” he said.
“Carter…” She grabbed his arm and he felt heartened by her touch, hopeful. It was all he could do not to pull her to him and kiss her deeply, to reassure himself in the quickest manner possible. But he still wasn’t sure she’d let him.
“What?” he said.
“I’m pregnant.”
She’d barely whispered the words, but they hit him like an arrow in the throat. He even staggered back a couple of steps.
“And please don’t ask me if it’s yours,” she added, blinking against the tears filling her eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone else in months.”
Pregnant… The word seemed to echo around the room.
“Does Dave know?” he managed to ask even though he could barely breathe.
“Do you think I’d marry him without telling him about the baby?”
“How could you marry him anyway?” he demanded. “Especially now?”
Frustration contorted her elegant features. “I’m letting you off the hook, in case you haven’t figured that out!”
Carter didn’t know how to respond. He and Laurel had wanted a baby, but Hooper had injured her too badly. She couldn’t conceive. Carter had been eager to move forward with the adoption process. But then…Laurel had overdosed on Valium and had left him completely alone.
He struggled to suck in enough air to speak. “I’ll marry you,” he said. What other choice did he have? He knew it wasn’t the most romantic proposal in the world, but…he was too shocked to think beyond the practical. He knew that he wanted do the right thing, to take care of his child. That was all.
She surprised him by stepping out of his reach and shaking her head. “No.”
“Why not?” he asked, amazed that she’d reject him. “I’m the baby’s father. Surely marrying me is better than marrying Dave.”
“No, it’s not.”
He gaped at her. “You don’t love him!”
“But he loves me. You’re still in love with whomever that woman is on your phone.”
“Laurel,” he said softly.
“Is that her name?”
He nodded.
“Did you see her while you were in New York?”
He’d meant to visit her grave and take her flowers, but he’d come straight home to Liz. “No.”
“Maybe you should try and reconcile with her,” she said.
“She’s dead, Liz. She killed herself two years ago. You’re threatened by someone I can no longer see or touch.”
There was a long pause, then, “That doesn’t mean you don’t love her,” she said.
Carter had no answer for that.
“Anyway, Dave wants to marry me in spite of the baby. You’re willing to marry me because of it. There’s a difference. I’ve been second best before, Carter. I can’t live with that again. Not even to a memory.”
Carter didn’t know what more he could offer. He was reeling too badly to sort anything out. “I’ll send money.”
She winced but nodded. “Child support is only fair, I guess. I certainly didn’t do this on purpose.”
“I know that.” He was just as much to blame, and he felt terrible about it. But did she really have to marry somebody else and move away? Wasn’t there room in this town for both of them?
He didn’t get the chance to answer his own question because Mary Thornton knocked on the door and Liz took advantage of the interruption to briskly usher him out.
“Thanks for stopping by,” she said, her tone suddenly formal and her head held high, as though she was building some emotional fort he’d no longer be able to breach. “I’ll keep in touch.”
THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS crept by with agonizing slowness. Carter passed Liz’s chocolate shop every time he drove to work. Senator Holbrook’s district office was finally up and running so at least he could keep busy. But if she saw him, she looked right through him as if he didn’t even exist.
Meanwhile, he missed her. Terribly. He’d just started living again. Feeling like a human being instead of an empty shell. And now his days were more meaningless to him than before.
He still had Laurel’s pictures, and her memories, of course. But they weren’t the sacred objects they’d once been. He didn’t stare at them and ache for her voice, her touch. He actually tried to go back to that. At least Laurel was a loss he’d grown used to. Instead his mind automatically shifted to Liz. The way she made love. The sound of her laughter. The scent of the candles she liked so much. She was passionate and responsive and—in his more honest moments, he had to admit—much stronger than the Laurel he’d known.
But Liz was out of reach. Everyone in town knew she was leaving. Keith was furious and claimed he’d petition the court to make sure she couldn’t take his kids so far away. But it was painfully clear he didn’t
really have the money. And no one felt particularly sorry for him after what he’d done to Liz’s shop. Carter had notified the police that he’d found the culprit so they could stop looking. He’d heard the prosecutor had issued a formal complaint giving Keith a court date for his arraignment. But even if Keith was convicted, he probably wouldn’t go to jail. Carter didn’t care what happened to him. Not anymore. As far as he was concerned, it was punishment enough that Officer Orton had spread the word all over town.
Liz wasn’t pressing the vandalism issue. She didn’t seem to want to bother with it. She was too busy trying to placate her children. Mica and Christopher were terribly unhappy about the impending move, but Liz was going ahead with her plan anyway. There was a For Sale sign in the window of The Chocolaterie, just to prove it.
Gossip suggested her father might buy her out. Carter had also heard Celeste talking about throwing Liz a bridal shower. It upset him to think of Liz receiving lingerie to wear for someone else. And that sensation became almost painful when he imagined her big with his child and sleeping in Dave’s arms.
He wished he could convince her that he’d make a better husband. But as much as he wanted it at times, he wasn’t sure that was true. What if they couldn’t make it work? What if she’d be happier, in the end, with someone like Dave? Dave was still young and unscarred.
Two weeks after the day she’d told him about the baby, he was on his computer late at night when he saw her come online. Was she instant messaging with Dave? Making plans for where they’d live? Arranging the sale of the shop? Talking about the baby? His baby?
How could he care so much about someone he’d known for such a short time? It didn’t make any sense. But he supposed it was like the first sweet taste of chocolate. A person didn’t have to eat a whole box to know it was good.
Unable to stop himself, he clicked on her e-mail address and hit the instant message button.
CHudson1973: Have you been to the doctor yet?
He could ask about the baby, right? The baby was his, too.
She took so long to answer him, he was beginning to doubt she’d respond. But then a blue line of text appeared.
Luvs Chocolat: Not yet. I’m waiting until I get to California.
CHudson1973: When are you leaving?
Luvs Chocolat: In three weeks.
CHudson1973: Does Dave have a place for you yet?
Luvs Chocolat: He’s looking.
Carter wasn’t sure why he’d initiated this conversation. Every line she sent cut him deeper than the one before.
CHudson1973: I think you’re making a mistake.
Luvs Chocolat: Keith wants to meet Rocky Bradley. He says he wants the chance to clear his name, that he didn’t do it.
She’d ignored his comment, which didn’t surprise him. Neither did it surprise him that Keith would request an audience with Bradley. He’d been swearing by all that was holy that he was wrongly accused.
CHudson1973: I know. He already asked me if I’d arrange a meeting.
Luvs Chocolat: What do you think?
CHudson1973: To be honest with you, he comes off as innocent.
Luvs Chocolat: But he must have done it. How else would Rocky know his name?
CHudson1973: Right. Unless there’s another connection.
Luvs Chocolat: How could there be? I don’t know anyone in Boise.
CHudson1973: I want to see you.
That statement came out of nowhere. Carter knew he shouldn’t have typed it. Or if he did type it, he shouldn’t have sent it. But he couldn’t stop himself. He wasn’t getting over Liz. He was growing more obsessed with her by the day.
Luvs Chocolat: I won’t reply to that.
CHudson1973: Can I come over? We need to talk.
There was a long pause.
Luvs Chocolat: No.
CHudson1973: Why not?
Luvs Chocolat: You know we won’t end up talking.
A surge of hope and arousal shot through him. If he was that much of a threat to her fidelity, she had to feel something for him.
CHudson1973: I hate the thought of you with Dave. I hate the thought of you with anyone but me.
Luvs Chocolat: Stop. We already had this discussion. Things are better this way.
CHudson1973: For who? You? No. Me? No. The baby? Definitely not. It’s only better for Dave.
Luvs Chocolat: You had your chance. I’ve already given him my word.
CHudson1973: Your word? So? Take it back.
Luvs Chocolat: I can’t. That wouldn’t be fair.
CHudson1973: You’re not striking a business deal, damn it. You’re talking about a marriage. Till death do you part.
No response.
CHudson1973: You still care about me.
Luvs Chocolat: That’s not a question.
CHudson1973: I know.
When she didn’t answer, didn’t deny it, Carter’s heart began to beat faster.
CHudson1973: If it still matters, I’m in love with you. I can’t think of anything else that would make me feel this terrible. I’m dying without you.
He’d poured his heart out in that last line, but she didn’t write back.
CHudson1973: Liz?
Luvs Chocolat: What?
Carter stared at the screen. Maybe the future’s uncertain. Maybe I can’t make you a lot of promises. I won’t pretend I’m as easy to get along with as Dave seems to be. I’ve had experiences that have left some marks. But I want to try. I didn’t know that the day you told me, but I know it now. I want to try. He nearly added that he wanted to help raise his child, but after what she’d said, he was afraid she’d misinterpret that to mean he wanted to marry her because of the baby. That’s something, isn’t it?
Again, it took her a long time to respond, but at last, she wrote, Yeah, that’s something…
Maybe he hadn’t lost her completely. Taking a deep breath, he typed his next line: Is it enough?
Luvs Chocolat: Carter, don’t.
CHudson1973: Is it?
Luvs Chocolat: You’re asking me to take a huge risk.
CHudson1973: And what’s marrying Dave? A guarantee?
Luvs Chocolat: At least he can’t hurt me.
CHudson1973: We’re talking about the Lady of Shalott again.
Luvs Chocolat: If so, the mirror has already cracked.
CHudson1973: Liz, listen to me. We could change the ending. I always thought that ending sucked, anyway.
He felt as if she was tempted, as if he was close to convincing her. But then she withdrew.
Luvs Chocolat: I can’t. What would that do to Dave?
Liz, he started to write, but she signed off.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“DADDY DIDN’T DO IT.”
The following morning, Mica sat at the kitchen table glowering at Liz, who was standing at the toaster, waiting for her bagel to pop up. Christopher was already watching cartoons.
Thank goodness school was out, Liz thought. Summer was easier. But it was getting late in the day and Liz needed to shower. Her father had taken over opening the shop for her each morning, but she wanted to be there by noon. She needed to make more candy. They were running low on coated strawberries and cherries.
“We’ve already been through this, Mica,” she said gently. She was glad that Mica had something to say to her this morning. Her children had barely spoken to her since she’d told them they’d be moving. But Liz didn’t want to argue. She hadn’t been able to sleep last night. Carter’s words had left her too agitated.
What’s marriage to Dave, a guarantee?…I’m in love with you…We could change the ending…
“He promised me,” Mica insisted.
“Honey, adults do some really weird things sometimes, and for some really weird reasons,” Liz said, trying to explain. “And they don’t always tell the truth about it. Occasionally, they lie even to themselves.”
“Daddy’s not lying! He loves you. He told me he does. Why would he want to hurt you?”
�
��Maybe he thought if I couldn’t make it on my own, I’d marry him again.”
“Why not marry him?” she asked, throwing all of her emotions behind those words. “Then we could stay here. Please, Mom? Pull-eze?”
Mica and Christopher’s unhappiness felt like hundred-pound weights attached to each leg. “Mica—”
“If we leave, I won’t get to see Reenie’s baby.”
Liz hadn’t told them they’d be getting their own baby. That was news that could wait until she was married. Maybe when they grew older they’d count the months and realize her marriage to Dave hadn’t preceded the pregnancy. But that would be years from now.
“Don’t make the situation any more difficult, okay?” she said. “Please?”
Mica looked as if she’d continue to plead, but the phone interrupted before she could, and Liz raised a hand to indicate silence.
“Hello?”
“Hi, babe. You up and moving around?”
“Yeah.” It was Dave. Of course. He called her several times a day.
“I think I found a house. I’m going to tour it tonight.”
Feeling intensely guilty for messaging with Carter the night before, Liz drew a deep breath. Since agreeing to marry Dave, she’d tried so hard to avoid contact with Carter. Just looking at him felt like a betrayal, because her whole heart ached with longing. But it was Dave who’d come to her rescue when she’d needed him most. She owed Dave her loyalty, even if she couldn’t give him all her love.
