Table of Contents
Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Acknowledgements
Epigraphs
Chapter 1 Introduction: Why am I Here and Where are We Now?
Chapter 2 The Simple Pleasures Two's Company
The Romantics
A Blast from the Past
Knock, Knock . . . Who's There?
Chapter 3 Sex on the Edge Forbidden Fruit
Unearthly Pleasures
Toy Stories
Show and Tell
Three's Not a Crowd
A Bit of Rough
Chapter 4 The Danger Zone The More, the Merrier
Gender Bend
At Your Service
Ravished
Love Hurts
Risky Business
Rough Trade
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The New Black Lace Book
of Women's Sexual Fantasies
The New Black Lace Book of
Women's Sexual Fantasies
Compiled and Edited by Mitzi Szereto
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ISBN 9780753516249
Version 1.0
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Black Lace books contain sexual fantasies.
In real life, always practise safe sex.
This edition published in 2008 by
Black Lace
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Rainville Rd
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Copyright © Virgin Books Ltd and Mitzi Szereto
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ISBN: 9780753516249
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Acknowledgements
With thanks to Ashley Lister and Stuart Burrell
'One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.'
– E V Lucas
1
Introduction: Why am I Here and
Where are We Now?
Well, I suppose I should explain just how I ended up here in the first place. Perhaps it all goes back to my fifth year in primary school. And no, it's not what you're thinking – no playground rendezvous with the little boys or, for that matter, little girls. Rather my voracious appetite for books and the reading of them led me to borrow from a female classmate a dog-eared copy of the Victorian erotica classic The Romance of Lust that belonged to her parents. I became quite ensed in this smutty tome though, admittedly, some of it went right over my head, which was probably a good thing in retrospect. My downfall came in trying to secrete it inside a school library copy of Abraham Lincoln's biography. My mother thought I seemed just a wee bit too engrossed in the tale of Honest Abe, and consequently I was busted!
I'll admit that my taste in reading material, although it wouldn't be remotely along the same lines as The Romance of Lust for a number of years, was strictly adult in natureing an extremely precocious child (and an only child at that), I found I couldn't abide the books aimed at my age group; not even the Young Adult novels could capture my fancy. Therefore, I opted to go with either seething Gothic Romances or the potboilers from the bestseller lists. Aside from the fact that the stories were engaging and well-written, there was plenty of sex (or at least a jolly good hint of it) to help a budding young writer of erotic fiction file it away for future inspiration.
As a writer of erotic prose and an editor of it as well, I've worked to expand my brief into the mainstream, crossing into other genres. But the core element of the erotic is always inherent in my work, be it subtle or extreme. As a writer, I consider it my job to create, and this can and does involve fantasy and, occasionally, a bittersweet dose of reality. Sometimes it comes purely (or, for that matter, impurely) fthe imagination, bearing no relation to personal taste or experience. However, because the erotic is so cerebral, it's not surprising that the writing of it quite often stems from the writer's personal fantasies. Fantasies are our private playground – and you don't need to be a writer to frolic in this sandbox. We're all gifted with the ability to fantasise, and when it comes to sexual fantasy, the scenarios are as varied as the owners of the minds doing the fantasising.
To mark the fifteenth anniversary of Black Lace Books, I am pleased to have been invited to edit this new volume and, indeed, to offer some indication as to where we, as women, are today as sexual beings. The first Black Lace Book of Women's Sexual Fantasies is the most successful title in Blacke's history. Originally published in 1999, it has never been out of print and is still read widely throughout the world. There's a simple reason for this success: the book was authentic. And, indeed, the content of this book is likewise 100 per cent authentic, not solicited scenarios from professional sex writers. While The New Black Lace Book of Women's Sexual Fantasies will primarily be upbeat and entertaining, it will also provide an informal sociological and cultural study of contemporary female sexuality in Britain and beyond. Entertainment and enlightenment, surprise and titillation, and, hopefully, some shaking up of assumptions. That is what I'm offering.
As editor, the most important thing for me was to be as representational of the female population as possible. Material has been collected, read and analysed from women of all ages and all sexualities and lifestyles – from women in steady relationships to those who are virgins (and yes, they're out there!), from women who are very sexually active to women who are celibate. I've chosen to include more detailed information for each participant such as age, domestic and sexual lifestyle status, education, profession and location, in order to give a fuller picture of each woman. These are real women, not inventions of lad's magazines or the porn industry – real women who have experienced sex and sexual fantasy in a multitude of ways and means. These women have shared their private lives with us and exhibited their secret thoughts to thousands of readers. Their courage and honesty should be applauded. It would be hubris to categorise (and thus draw conclusions from) women's sexual interests and fantasies according to age, education, and profession, and I won't even attempt to do so. As is evident on these pages, women are truly all over the map as far as the content of their fantasies. In fact, it's probably safe to say that it would be a major mistake to assume anything about a woman based on age, education or profession.
Since the publication in 1999 of the first Black Lace Book of Sexual Fantasies, the sexual landscape has changed d
ramatic ally. Sexual habits, lifestyles, opportunities and the possibilities for women have been a-ected by a whole range of new influences, technologies and media. In many ways 1999 seems a more innocent time than that in which we now find ourselves. Everything has become so complicated – the more choices given to us and the more variety of means in which we have to enjoy them, the more we keep searching and seeking. We now live in a world of internet dating, whether of an adult nature (offering no-strings sex as well as avenues for marrieds looking to play outside the marital home), to providing online access to those with more traditional romantic aspirations. There are sites for swingers and sites for the marriage-minded. There are sites for young women looking for rich sugar daddies and sites for older women looking for younger men. Whichever option one chooses, they have created easy access to numerous partners or potential partners. Now women don't even need to step out of their front door to find a man. The internet has become the proverbial singles' bar, revolutionising sexual and dating habits. No longer is it necessary to rely on friends or work mates to 'fix us up' or, for that matter, to sit at a bar nursing a glass of wine for an entire evening in the hope that a man will take the initiative to start up a conversation. As a result, the popularity of internet dating has led to a surge in female promiscuity.
Surprisingly, for a large number of people, the sites aimed at the relationship-minded seem to have become just the oppos ite, offering a less stigmatised way for those seeking nostrings sex, thereby eliminating the need to join the 'adult' sites catering for those simply 'on the prowl'. It should, however, be mentioned that these sites have also been covertly used by marrieds claiming to be single, especially in the case of men – meaning don't always believe everything you read on the tin!
The rise of recreational sex (swinging) has also had an impact on women's sexual habits, specifically when it comes to married women or women in steady relationships. Sexual fantasies and the willingness of these women to live them out have led many to discard monogamy as a lifestyle choice. Although statistically the numbers in the swinging community are not high, the openness of participants and the media's prurient spotlight upon it make recreational sex appear more prevalent than it actually is. Nevertheless, it's definitely out there and a lot easier to find for those who wish to find it.
Locating partners to have sex with is one thing, but now it seems there are even more ways in which to actually have sex – how does one choose? In the last decade there has been a proliferation of hardcore pornography in visual media, and a rise and mainstreaming of kink. Sex and porn appear in popular music, advertising, talk shows and reality TV. Without a doubt, pornography has had an influence on contemporary sexual culture, and that hasn't changed. If anything, it's exposed the general population to acts they would never have dreamed of, let alone imagined being physically or physiologically possible. It can also be argued that it's had a desensitising e-ect, particularly on men. Twenty-first century porn is embellished with alternative sexual practices, and even extreme sexual practices, leading to a rise in what is often dubbed 'Freak-show Porn'. Fisting (originally a practice among the gay leather community) and squirting (the medical verdict is still out on this one) can easily be found in porn, as well as gang-bang scenarios, some of which can be extremely brutal. It's also becoming common to witness double, if not triple, penetration, very often in the same orifice (reconstructive surgeons for porn stars are already having a lucrative field day with the phys io logical results). Every sexual taste and perversion is catered for and, thanks to the internet and a broadband connection, available at the click of a mouse.
In recent years sex toys have enjoyed a massive increase in popularity, availability and variety. Once objects of embarrassment, they have now become accepted and have made their way into the mainstream, enhancing the sex lives of women who are either with or without partners. No longer is it considered unusual for a woman to have at least one toy in her bedside drawer or, for that matter, to include a stop at her local Ann Summers as part of her Saturday afternoon shopping. More and more heterosexual couples are discovering the fun of adding sex toys to their bedroom repertoire, thereby improving their sex lives and bringing them closer together.
Today's woman is definitely a lot more open about what she wants in the bedroom – and that's a good thing. And, although the mass media and pornography would like us to believe that women are getting it and getting it good, this is not always the reality. According to the women who have participated in our survey, it's a pretty mixed bag. While some women are having the time of their lives, others are still waiting for the one to ring their bell, while others are hoping to recreate that singularly amazing experience that transformed their lives. Therefore, if we are to draw any sort of conclusion from all of this, the sexual experiences and sexual satisfactions of the contemporary woman are not the same. Meaning – there is no norm, and women should not be made to feel in any way wanting because their sexual experiences do not compare with or measure up to others. Be it the lack of a suitably satisfying partner (or a partner in general), the stress of work and family life, health issues, disability, etc., women are not all the same – and neither are their sex lives. However, one thing that does appear to be universal is the modern woman's willingness to try new things, to experiment, to abandon her inhibitions, even if only in her fantasy life. The variety of sexual activity discussed in the questionnaires and explored in the fantasies submitted to this project indicate that women are definitely more open and up for new things in the erotic arena, and can not only compete with, but may even have surpassed their male counterparts in both sexual imagination and experimentation. Maybe with a bit of courage and the right partner, all these women will one day be able to live out their fantasies, providing, of course, that they wish to or, at the very least, are able to share their fantasies with those with whom they share their bodies, thereby leading to a richer and more fulfilling sex life.
I'd like to thank the many participants who sent in their questionnaires. They came in from every corner of the world, including Great Britain, Ireland, the United States, Canada, Austria, Germany, Sweden, the Netherlands, Australia, New Zealand, South America, China, Singapore, Korea, Kenya, and even Botswana. Without these women willing to share themselves and their sexual thoughts with us, this book would not have been possible. I was touched by many of the replies, some of which were highly personal and heartfelt about these women's private lives and feelings, their hopes and disappointments. Even with the anonymity provided, it could not have been easy for them to open themselves so completely to both myself and you, the reader.
By the way, one of the fantasies in this book is mine. Can you guess which one?
2
The Simple Pleasures
'Simplicity is the glory of expression.'
– Walt Whitman
When we fantasise, we embark upon journeys that take us to places we're never likely to visit or experience. This holds particularly true when it comes to the realm of the erotic. Fantasies are our private haven, our safety net, the place where we can imagine anything and everything and be completely free from judgement or censure. We can remove ourselves from our daily humdrum realities. We can become someone else, be as wild as we desire, do things we'd never consider doing, have sex with people we'd never in our lives consider having sex with. There are no limits to what we can do inside our minds.
Yet sometimes we don't have to grasp for the extravagant in order to fulfil our desires. Instead we might fantasise about things that are more known to us, things we might already have experienced in some form or other, or can very easily experience given the right set of circumstances. Sometimes a sexual fantasy can be far closer, far more real, offering us a taste of the probable rather than the improbable. Indeed, these fantasies are no less intense or erotic for their simplicity, but are perhaps all the sweeter for it.
There are many ways to enjoy sex – from the sacred to the profane. However, let's begin by getting our feet w
et with more traditional pursuits. In this section we will explore the so-called 'vanilla' pleasures – sex that takes place between two consenting adults and that tends not to go too far into the experimental, although it might tease provocatively at the surface. Romantic settings and scenarios are rife, as are encounters between committed partners or those already known to us in some capacity. Historical backdrops are a proven turn-on in this category, steamy bodice-rippers being alive and well in the minds of our participants. So, too, is sex with strangers or those whom we've never met (or are likely to), including a famous country and western music star. It's all in the name of good, clean (well, maybe not that clean) fun! Although these fantasies are more concerned with the light than the dark, they are by no means predictable or mundane. For women's sexuality is anything but predictable or mundane.
Two's Company
Nicole, age 26
Bisexual
Celibate
Children
Associate's degree
Student
New York, USA
The best sex I probably ever had was with a girl I'd been in the army with. We were stationed in Iraq together and it was my birthday that night. Most of our friends had stayed over in her room and I didn't intend on anything happening. But when I caught a glimpse of her breasts silhouetted against the moonlight, I felt the stirring growing inside my body, pushing against my nipples and thumping against my clitoris. Little by little all of our friends began to leave and I sat next to her on the bed. As if she could sense what I was thinking, she motioned to one of our friends that she was tired and had to go to sleep. I said that I was going to stay over with her since we had not seen each other for a few months. The minute our friend had left, my hands were against her breasts and our tongues were inside each other's mouths, entangled, licking and sucking each other's lips and mouths, our hands rubbing and massaging each other's breasts and nipples, teasing each other. I began kissing her neck until I couldn't take it anymore; I had to have her tits in my mouth. I lifted her shirt and stared at her white breasts with her hard pink nipples protruding as if pushing against an invisible wall. They looked so juicy to me that I swear I'd begun to salivate as my clit hardened, and I could feel the pulse of my heart thudding inside my pants, my tongue seeming to extend itself on its own, as if becoming its own entity. I felt her shiver in my arms as her left nipple entered my wet mouth. I heard her moan a little but I wasn't done. The idea of us getting caught had turned me on so much that I'd begun to play with myself as I kept sucking her tits. I could feel her nipples become harder in my mouth as I licked and sucked faster and faster. I even took both tits and sucked both nipples at the same time. She howled as I nibbled on them, then licked them back and forth like a windshield wiper. Then she lifted off my shirt and sucked my brown nipples as if they spouted water like a fountain.
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