All the men I know are pussies. It doesn't help that I'm stuck in the middle of super-Christian Ohio, where the boys get this wide-eyed look and consider running home to mommy if you even hint at wanting to be tied up. That, and I'm very romantic – I'm still a virgin because I don't really want to even play until I'm in love. Maybe not first love; I don't want to jump right in the sack with the first guy I've got feelings for. I want to be a little sane about it, you know?
The themes of my fantasies involve bondage, being dominated, and S&M in general. This usually all occurs in an M/s sort of setting. And I can never fantasise if there isn't love involved, so it's usually a committed and very fictional relationship. I'm a feminist's dream, I'll tell you that. So usually my fantasies involve the same characters – I'm a writer, so I like consistency in my cast. My favourite usually involves a dom character of mine (Tiberius, also my favourite) sneaking up on me and blindfolding me, then asking me to strip. He leads me to his room and lays me gently face down on the four-poster bed; then he ties me up, spreadeagled, and gives me a massage. Nice warm peppermint oil; candles that I can't see but I can smell; lovely low light, maybe some music.
Then out comes the knife.
Sometimes he'll excuse himself for a moment while he goes to get himself a glass of wine; other times he'll already have it somewhere on his person, or on the end table. He teases me – it might be sharp, it might not. I'm terrified of blades and cuts, so I do as he says and stay stiff as a board, terror and desire all welling up in a delicious combination as he drags the tip of the blade over my skin: my thighs, my back, the back of my neck, the backs of my arms. Sometimes he presses hard enough to draw welts over me. Then, when I'm least expecting it and soaked from the fear, he slides it between my thighs (his finger over the edge if it is, indeed, the sharp knife) and fucks me with it. When I first realise just what he's done, I whimper and try to squirm away, but he warns me that any undue movement and I'll hurt myself.
Oh, yeah, and he's laughing the whole time, sometimes leaning down to kiss me and tell me how proud he is or how much he loves me.
Damn, now I need to change my panties.
Sue, age 43
Bisexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
Children
College
Dream Interpreter
Southeast Scotland, UK
On discovering an S&M magazine at the age of eight, I dis covered that it gave me a 'strange' feeling. As I grew up I realised that this feeling was sexual excitement! I am now in a D/s relationship with my partner, with me being the submissive one. I'm more at ease with who and what I am, and have become an active member of the BDSM community.
In my fantasy I am lying naked on the bitter stone; I can feel the carvings beneath me pressing themselves into my flesh. As I turn my head I can see those same symbols cut into the monoliths that surround this slab I'm chained to.
I move my head again, staring up at the moon, full and glistening in the clear night sky. A slight breeze whispers over my nudity and my nipples sti-en. In the distance I can hear a single drumbeat repeating over and over and over, the seconds counting down until my fate is realised.
I hear him approach, his footfalls muffled by the damp grass.. I dare not turn to look at him and instead close my eyes and view his features from the scorching on my memory.
I feel his aura spiral with mine as he moves his hand just above my body. I yearn for him to touch me, to feel the warmth of his hand just one more time. He senses my thoughts and places his hand, fingers spread, on my chest, the heel of his hand taking in my increasing heartbeat.
In a swift movement, his hand grips my throat, his forefinger and thumb squeezing into my neck. Leaning down, I feel his sweet breath on my face, know that my lips are parting slightly in anticipation of his kiss. And when that comes I sigh so deeply, immersing myself in him.
I feel bereaved as he pulls away from the kiss. His fingers move from my throat and trail lightly down the length of my body, his fingers exploring my slit, gathering my moisture then anointing my lips with those juices.
He tells me to open my eyes, to let him see my love, my commitment, my devotion. I gaze up at him and feel myself drowning in his exquisiteness.
I catch a reflection in his eyes, the glint of metal, then feel a needlepoint of steel press lightly at the side of my neck. I know the time has come. The end and the beginning. There is no pain as he draws the knife over my throat, only a deep sense of joy, an ever-increasing warmth inside me. I feel my eyelids flutter and I begin the eternal journey that he has sent me on.
Rough Trade
Lucia, age 36
Heterosexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
No children
Bachelor's degree
Homemaker
Northeast England, UK
I'm turned on by any form of punishment, especially spanking, the display of legitimate authority of one person over another. To be honest, actual sex is never all that arousing to me. I live completely in my head, so my fantasies are the mind-blowing part for me, not the physical sensations of sex. I don't find anything offensive when it comes to an individual's personal fantasies. There are no taboos in the safety and freedom of fantasy; nor should there be.
This is my most embarrassing confession and I've never shared it with anyone. I have a recurring fantasy about being selected for special experiments in a Nazi prison camp. I'm sent to a 'love camp' to be a whore for the officers of the Third Reich. Some men have more sadistic desires than others, and girls who fail to satisfy are punished. After a public whipping in the yard, they are left naked in bondage afterwards, on display as an example to the others. One of my favourite embellishments is an officer who stops to look at the marks after I've been whipped. He says, 'Looks like someone's been a naughty girl', and fondles me casually while I moan in shame.
One day a scientist arrives and all the girls are lined up in the yard for inspection. He needs a girl for a special experiment. He makes his way down the line, opening the girls' tops and fondling their breasts, lifting their skirts and touching them, commenting to his assistant who follows with a clipboard. It's all very businesslike, like a slave auction. I whimper and squirm at his touch when it's my turn, and he likes my responsiveness. 'I'll take this one,' he says at last. 'Have her cleaned up and brought to my laboratory.'
After a thorough, invasive and humiliating medical examination, I am used as a guinea pig for di-erent methods of punishment. He doesn't talk to me at all – only to his assistant. First he straps me down on my back on a sterile tilting table. My arms are secured overhead. He unbuttons my top to expose my breasts for a whipping. Next I am strapped down over a trestle and he uses a cane on my bottom. Sometimes he leaves the room and his assistant molests me – he's not as dutyminded as his superior.
Tracy, age 49
Heterosexual
Steady relationship, not live-in
Children
BSN
Nurse
Birmingham, UK
I generally have BDSM fantasies. I am submissive and they usually involve both male and female doms. I have in the past fantasised about gang-bangs and other women. In my favourite fantasy I'm naked in a corner with my hands on my head. My female dom ushers in three men. They ignore me, spending time looking at photos of previous sessions and discussing what will happen during this session, which will culminate in me being anally fucked by all three men. I am summoned by the mistress to the centre of the room and slowly spanked, paddled, and caned until I'm highly marked . . . nipple clamps, etc., are used. After a break where my marks are admired by all present, my mistress uses a large dildo to mouth-fuck me and spreads my legs to show the men that I'm in fact enjoying it very much. She inserts the dildo in my cunt and directs the men to fuck my ass very hard. I say thank you.
Name withheld, age 25
Heterosexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
Children
/> A level
Logistics Administrator
Cheshire, England
I usually fantasise once a day. I'm now a lot more open to di-erent sexual preferences and will try anything once; I keep an open mind. What holds me back is the fear of shocking my husband! My current favourite fantasy is about being urinated on during sex – to be made to drink my tormentor's pee, to have him pee in every hole, and the entire time he's telling me how bad and naughty I am.
Louise, age 45
Heterosexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
College degree
Journalist
Northwest England, UK
From the earliest times (aged ten or eleven) I was drawn to bondage and submission. I have no idea where it came from. My background was pretty normal/average and these fantasies arrived out of the blue. At seventeen, I came across The Story of O, which encapsulated my fantasies completely and has remained the basis for everything since then. I fought my desires for a long time and I was 28 before I finally plucked up the courage to accept my sexuality.
My fantasies revolve entirely around BDSM and being used as a sex slave. My lover takes me to a country house one night. On arrival, we are met by the lady of the house and I discover it is a high-class swingers club. I am taken to an anteroom where I'm ordered to strip except for my stockings and heels. My lover laces a skin-tight leather hood on my head, and adds leather wrist and ankle cu-s. I am nervous but excited. He leads me out of the anteroom, down corridors – I can hear voices all around me, some commenting on me and wondering who the woman in the hood is. We arrive in another room. He tells me to sit on the bed. I can tell it is large and has satin sheets. He stands very close to me and speaks into my ear loudly (so I can hear through the leather) – he is going to sell me that night to anyone who wants to fuck me. I will not see any of my 'customers'. I sit nervously, heart pounding. Almost immediately, I hear the door open and people coming in. Someone pinches my nipples hard and tells me I have nice tits. I can't hear much though. There are hands touching my body. I am pushed back on the bed and a man climbs on top of me. His hard cock goes straight in, I am so wet. Someone turns my head and forces his large, hard cock into my mouth through the mouth hole of the hood. I start to suck him. He shoots into my mouth at the same time as the other man spunks into my cunt. Almost immediately, I am turned over and made to kneel. The cuffs on my wrists and ankles are fastened to the bed and now I'm completely trapped. I feel lube being smeared into my arsehole and then I am violated there too. Once again my mouth is not spared.
The evening continues in this way – one man after another, sometimes several at the same time, each using me as they want. My lover allows me little breaks occasionally, during which he twists my nipples and spanks me hard or canes me and lets me know how pleased he is with me. I am grateful for his touch and knowing that he's there watching over me. Then the fucking and sucking resumes. I lose track of time. It's pitch-dark inside the hood and hot – the hood is so tight, and I revel in its anonymity. At one point I am made to sit astride a huge cock while another man enters my arse and yet another my mouth. Even my hands are not spared as two more thrusting erections insist on being wanked. Every hole is used relentlessly, with barely any time in between to recover from each violation. I am tiring and sweating but there is no let-up. How many men have had me? I cannot tell anymore. On the next break, I plead with my lover for mercy but am rewarded only with another hard caning that just makes me even wetter. My cunt juices and the wads of anonymous spunk dribble out of my cunt and arse and run down my legs. My stockings are damp and sticky. I have swallowed at least twenty mouthfuls of come.
Finally, I feel my lover's hands on me, gently caressing me and telling me I have been a good girl. Now it is his turn. He removes the cu-s from my wrists and ankles but leaves the hood on. I feel soft cotton rope on my body as he expertly ties me into Japanese bondage that forces my tender tits into a tight thrust-upwards position. My ankles are tied to my thighs, leaving me wide open, and I am helpless. He inserts a dildo gag into my mouth and now I am silenced too. He slaps my breasts hard, twists the nipples yet again, then puts clover clamps on them. He inserts his fingers into my cunt. I am so wet and open, he can get three in easily. Then he works in another finger. He pushes his fingers in and out, fucking me with his hand. Then I feel his thumb start to slide in too. Slowly, slowly, he works his entire hand into me until I am impaled on his fist. I am longing to come as that has been denied me all night. And now I'm focused entirely on his fist in my cunt and its slow but unrelenting movement inside me. Despite all the cocks I have taken, this is the first time tonight I have felt truly filled up and this is the only one that matters as it is him. He works his hand until I am desperate for release. I try to tell him I want to come but I'm muffled by the gag. Suddenly, I feel a buzzing sensation on my aching clit – a vibrator. It takes very little to tip me over the edge and I spasm violently around his fist as I scream into the gag. My orgasm ends and another one starts as he holds the vibrator hard against me. I come again, then starts a third, then a fourth orgasm. On the fifth one, I piss myself as I come hard for the last time. I lie back exhausted in my own wetness as my lover gently slips his fist out of my shattered cunt. He unties me and holds me tight, telling me he loves me. Then he leads me out of the bedroom, still wearing the hood, and back to the anteroom. There he dresses me, and leads me out of the club. Only when we are back in the car does he finally remove the hood. As we drive off, he tells me I was used by more than sixty men and that I earned a lot of money – he gives me the wad of cash and tells me that next time he is going to give me away rather than pimp me.
Name withheld, age 24
Heterosexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
No children
Student/Part-time Retail
Missouri, USA
I don't even know how long I've been masturbating, fantasising, and having orgasms, but it's been at least since I was five. When I was fairly young (probably eight or nine), I'd think about getting spanked while I rubbed myself against a pillow. I'd think a lot about touching other girls and women. I didn't think about intercourse, because the concept seemed so foreign. All I knew of sex was masturbation and nudity. And just a little bit of pain. Every time I saw coercion or BDSM on TV or in movies, I'd always be turned on by the imagery. We might not think about it anymore, but, when I was a kid, I managed to see lots of instances of rough and kinky sex. There are allusions to it on TV, certainly, and it pops up in movies. I wasn't a sheltered kid, so I got to see a lot of really great movies with some very adult themes. I'd get angry at myself, but rape scenes in movies often turned me on.
Titanic came out just as my sexuality was blooming, and that movie really moistened my young teen panties. The idea that anyone could find me beautiful, so beautiful that I had to be drawn nude, was irresistible. I grew up as the fat kid, and never imagined that anyone would find my body attract ive or desirable. The idea of sex so saturated with romance was very appealing. Oh, you're shaking as you fuck me in this buggy-like car? I'll hold you. I'll soothe you, I would fantasise.
Every time I see a woman having an orgasm in mainstream media (which, by the way, doesn't happen nearly enough), I am so turned on. Meg Ryan has a fake orgasm in When Harry Met Sally, and I get wet. Porn where the focus is female pleasure turns me on, but this can be hard to find. That's why I really enjoy squirters because, well, she's probably not faking. Men going down on women, either in mainstream media or porn, really turns me on. I more fully enjoy porn when I know that the woman is having a good time.
It seems like, aside from those teen hormone fantasies involving Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio sweeping me away and fucking me on a private beach, I've always seemed to have kinky fantasies, especially spanking. Pornography and erotica have definitely pushed the boundary of my fantasy world. In my teens I might have imagined close-ups of genitals while fucking. When I first began seeing porn in coll
ege, it was as if the fantasy were fulfilled. I knew what it looked like. Of course, I still fantasise about a lot of things that you can regularly see in porn, like anal. Erotica, especially, has opened up my fantasy world to unusual and kinky things – things I would never fantasise about acting on or being involved with, but what I still find hot is slavery, heavy BDSM, incest, mind control, group sex and bukkake.
I'm so turned on when my husband cleans the house, fixes the car, or runs errands. I just want to drop to my knees and suck his balls dry, which gets me very wet. I'm turned on when I get touched on certain areas of my body, when my husband tells me I'm beautiful, and listens to what I have to say. I'm turned on when our friends talk about their sex lives. It's almost like a sex urge for competition's sake. I'm turned on by porn that's either about female pleasure or degradation, like when a man is forceful and dominant, either in or out of a BDSM setting . . . but, you know, in a sexy way.
Often I fantasise in 'themes'. I have dominance themes, where I imagine someone, usually my husband, controlling me. Sometimes it's spanking, sometimes it's humiliation, sometimes it's bondage. I have a dirty motel room fantasy theme where anything goes, but often with women involved. I have a romance theme where I imagine those emotionally satisfying sexual moments in my life where I felt closeness and love, where the sex is tender and intimate. I have rape fantasies where men tie me up, use a knife to cut off my clothes, fuck me hard (until I come, natch), then come on my face, hair or tits.
The New Black Lace Book of Women's Sexual Fantasies Page 21
