by Mj Fields
“You are.” He turned his back and walked into the bathroom.
“I am?” I asked, following him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
I stood beside him as he washed his face with a wash cloth then stretched his neck and took a deep breath.
“Look in the mirror, Frankie. What do you see?”
“Excuse me?” I had no idea what he was asking me.
“Look in the mirror and tell me what you see.” I started to object and he shook his head no.
“Please, just do as I asked.”
“My hair’s a mess.” He closed his eyes and looked down. “You, you’re stressed and tense and borderline crazy. You’re miserable and I make you that way.” His lip curled up on the side. “Are you smiling?”
He shook his head no, “This week was almost unbearable, Frankie. I was so angry with you. I wanted nothing more than to stop feeling. Then I saw you at work and it hit me like a brick to the face that it wouldn’t be as easy, or even possible. You evoke feelings in me I have never had. So yes, I am stressed and tense and making decisions that are fucking insane, but you being able to see that makes something inside of my chest burn. When you look in the mirror, you see flaws in yourself that I don’t see and I am very visual, critical, and pretty much an asshole when it comes to what I want. When I look in the mirror I see you, not me, and I want you so bad that the burn in my chest is almost unbearable.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me over so that I was in front of him. “Now I see us, Frankie, not you, not me, but us. I don’t see the girl whose brother’s death nearly crushed her. I don’t see the girl who thinks she is so broken she begs to be beaten, I don’t see the girl you do, I see the girl I want in my life—.”
“But—”
“You say you love me. Words that I have never heard before from anyone. Words I never needed to hear, but fuck if it didn’t change something in me the first time you said it and it’s changed me ever since. I don’t want to look in the mirror and not see you standing in front of me. So whatever we have to do to make this work, we do it. If you tell me you love me, you damn well better not stop because I want that from you. I want your love, Frankie. I need it like I need my next breath.”
“But—” I said as tears started falling.
“Say it again.” One arm snaked around my waist pulling me closer to him and his free hand captured my neck not allowing me to look away.
“I love you.”
“We figure it out together. That’s what love is, right?”
“Yes.” The unintentional innocence in the question hidden behind his eyes as he asked was sad, yet beautiful. “But Jax—”
“No more buts, Frankie,” he smiled with a sad smile. “You’ll stay with me tonight and every night until—”
“No—”
He pulled me harder against him and I felt his erection against my back as his hand moved under my shirt and slowly went up. His large rough hand against my skin caused goose bumps in the wake of his touch. It felt so good, I leaned against his chest and looked up into the mirror and saw green eyes watching me, watching us. A vision I had dreamed about nearly half my life that was not only a day dream, a night time fantasy, something that woke me in the middle of the night because I physically wanted him so badly it was almost painful.
He wanted us.
Us
Jax
LOOKING AT HER in the mirror as she looked back at me was different now. Love, an emotion, emotions that I was raised to avoid because emotions interfered and interrupted plans and progress, emotions I could not ignore, avoid, or push away with Francesca Cruz, and I had no intentions of doing so.
The other thing that could not be ignored when I was in the same room as her was the attraction, not only physical, not only sexual, but deeper, so much deeper. I felt it the first time I saw her on the beach and it scared the hell out of me then. It didn’t anymore.
I pulled down the cup of her bra and felt the reaction she had to our proximity, no different than mine. I rubbed my thumb across her taunt nipple and watched as her eyes closed and head jerked up in the mirror.
“Look at us, Frankie, tell me what you see,” I whispered against her head.
When she looked up her eyes were dark and glassy., “Us,” she panted as she pressed back against me and rotated her hips against my strained pants, “Please, Jax.”
“Please what?”
“I need you inside of me, I need that now.”
I reached my free hand down, pulled her skirt up and pushed her panties to the side rubbing my finger as gently as I could against her moist lips.
“All of you,” she whimpered as she pushed towards me.
The need in her voice was so fervent and so fucking familiar. I pulled myself free from the restraint of my pants and pushed her forward, trying to be as gentle as I could, “Hands on the counter.”
She did as asked and I rubbed my cock against her slick, hot, flesh. The moan that escaped her nearly made my knees buckle. The need, the desire, the want, the—love, unreal. Her head fell so that she was no longer looking at me. Instinctively I reached in front of me and wound her thick black hair around my hand and pulled back forcing her head up so that she was again looking at me.
Her lip curled slightly and her eyes blazed as she pushed back as hard as she could against me.
“Fuck,” I groaned.
“Harder.” Her voice was a cross between a purr and a growl.
I held her hair in my hand as I thrust in and out of her, unable to use any restraint.
“Oh, God, Jax,” she yelled out as I continued my assault, driven by the new level of desire that was sparked seeing her raw, animalistic need.
I pounded into her as I stared in the mirror at the reflection of us united in the most erotic sexual moment of my existence.
I felt heat pooling in my groin and stilled.
“Don’t stop,” she begged.
“I don’t want to come yet, damn it,” I said, trying to hold her still.
“I do, please, I need it so bad Jax.”
“Don’t you fucking look away,” I said as I released her hair and held her hips as I drove into her, over and over, until she cried out as her pussy contracted around me, until I couldn’t take it anymore and I joined her in an orgasm unlike any other I had ever experienced.
I pulled out, and grabbed the cloth from the counter and gently cleaned between her legs as she rested her body over it. I cleaned myself off, and then pulled her up, took her hand and walked into my bedroom, where I quickly took her clothes off and then mine.
“Sleep.” I pointed to the bed and she lazily climbed under the covers and lay down.
I climbed in beside her and pulled her as close as I possibly could without being inside her.
“Jax?” she yawned.
“Yeah.” I rubbed her back.
“I love you, but I really think this is a bad idea.”
“I won’t let you stop. I can’t let you stop so, good or bad, it doesn’t mean fuck all to me. I swear I will take care of you.” I kissed her head and then held her hand. The hand that Will’s ring was on. In my sleepy post orgasmic state, I held her tighter and made a silent promise to my brother by choice, her brother by blood, that I would never stop taking care of this woman, not until my last breath.
* * *
I WOKE TO her thrashing in my arms and turned on the side lamp. She was asleep and must have been having a nightmare.
“No, please, no,” she whispered.
“Frankie.” I sat up and leaned over rubbing her back. “Frankie.”
“Jax?” She looked shocked when she saw me.
“I’m here.” I pulled her against me and kissed her cheek.
“You’re sure? This isn’t a dream?”
“I’m sure that it’s a dream but one that’s real. Go to sleep, I got you.”
She nodded her head and lay back, pulling me with her.
When I woke up, I made breakfast and let her sleep
. My room was always pitch black. It had to be that way, because when I had the time to sleep, I needed to make sure I did. You never knew when duty would call.
When the eggs were finished, I saw her phone lying on the counter and decided to check and see if she had missed a call. Ok, more specifically to check out her recent calls and try to see if the bastard who had called was dumb enough to not block it. Wishful thinking on my part.
She had a missed call from her mom and four from Joel. I was scrolling through her messages when I heard her.
“Jax, is that my phone?”
I looked up and saw her standing in my t-shirt, which was incredibly sexy, rubbing her eyes.
“Morning.”,” I set the phone on the counter and turned around to grab a cup of coffee for her. When I turned back around, she was looking at me strangely. “Coffee?”
“Is that my phone?” she asked again.
I handed her the cup of coffee and kissed the top of her head. “Apparently you need some more sleep.”
“Why’s that?” she asked before taking a sip.
“Well, I would think you would know if it was your phone if you weren’t still exhausted.” I took her cup out of her hand, and set it on the counter, then turned around and looked into her eyes. “I think you should go back to bed.”
“Why are you going through my phone?” She tried to reach around me to get it and I grabbed her and picked her up.
“Because I can,” I said before biting her neck. “Do you know how hot you look in the morning?”
She grabbed hold of my shoulders and leaned back trying to look annoyed. “My phone is mine.”
“Irrelevant.”
“Irrelevant? Pfftt.”
“Seeing you in my shirt makes me a little uncomfortable.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I just—,” she looked so confused.
“You should take it off,” I smiled, “Now.”
She looked at me and smiled back. “Yeah?”
“Fuck yeah.”
She reached down between us and pulled me free of my pants. “Thought you were upset with me.”
“I am,” she said as she rubbed my cock against her wet hot pussy.
“Christ, Frankie, remind me to piss you off more often.”
“I don’t want to be pissed at you, Jax, I want to love you.”
To that, I couldn’t hold back.
* * *
I SPENT MY morning inside of her and she did drift back to sleep. I stood on the back deck overlooking the Atlantic, trying to figure out what I was going to do about Joel. That little punk had whatever I was going to give to him coming. He took a tape of the two of them fucking and was trying to scare the shit out of her. The thing I didn’t understand was how the hell he knew about me.
My pocket vibrated and I pulled out my phone. It was my mother.
“Hello, mother.”
“Jaxson, we are in a bit of a predicament and need you and Mimi to attend an event in Roanoke. She has agreed and we have a suite already booked.”
“When?” I asked as I sat on the steps.
“Tonight, you would have to be there by eight which means—”
“I’m sorry. I won’t be able to make it.”
“Jaxson, this is very important.”
“Again, I apologize but—”
“We have a plan, Jaxson. We are a team.”
“I understand.”
“Your father spoke to Colonel Smith, you are not on duty this weekend.”
“Mother—”
“Pick Mimi up at three. You have three hours.”
She hung up the phone and I tried to call back. She didn’t answer. “FUCK!”
“Jax?” She walked up and sat next to me on the steps. “Is everything all right?”
“Did I wake you?” I asked as she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder.
“It’s noon. I should have been up hours ago.”
“If I remember correctly, you were.”
I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her in tighter.
“Yeah,” she smirked.
“Yeah.” I kissed her head.
“Your mom?”
“Yes, apparently, there’s a function.”
“Tonight?” her voice squeaked.
“I won’t go.”
“You have to go.”
“I won’t stay the night.”
Her body tensed and she looked down and very slowly the distance between us became apparent.
“Frankie, I—”
“I understand, Jax. It’s who you are, your family is important. The whole political thing, I get it. But why would you have to spend the night?”
“It’s in Roanoke. I don’t have to stay. You can come—”
“Will you be with her?”
“Mimi?”
“Yeah.”
“Understand that this is not a date. Anytime you’re ready to come with me, just say the word.”
“Then whoever called the other night will—”
“I’m pretty damn sure it’s that punk that likes to beat you—”
“Jax, please don’t. Besides, why would he care?”
“If he has been inside your pussy, Frankie, he certainly doesn’t want anyone else to be.”
“Is that how you feel about the other girls you’ve been with?”
“It’s how I feel about you and no one else.”
“I can’t go until—”
“Hold up, you just said until?”
“Yes. Until we see what we’re up against.”
“Joel is what we’re up against. Does he know about me?”
“I don’t know.” Her face started to change colors and she looked away as she played nervously with her hands.
“Frankie, does he know about me?”
“I guess, maybe,” she said quietly.
“So you’ve seen him since we—”
“No.”
“Then why do you think—”
“I have a scrapbook, okay. It’s stupid and childish and, arrrggg, yes, he knows, drop it, okay?” She started to stand and I pulled her down on my lap. “Let go, Jax.”
“Spill it.”
“Leave it alone,” she groaned.
“What’s this scrap book, Frankie?”
“If I tell you, you drop it. Never mention it again?”
“Scout’s honor.” I flashed the sign.
“Fine. Growing up I planned my dream life and made a book about it. My wedding, my kids, my home, my family—” She stopped talking when I chuckled, she tried to wiggle away., “Just forget it.”
“No.”
“You laughed at me—”
“I laughed at the difference between males and females.”
“Meaning what?”
“I planned how to take over the world.”
“Not marriage and kids, you’re such a man, Jax,” she said, settling back against my chest.
“I never thought much of having a family.”
“I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t untrue. I had never even considered what it would be like until I met Will and his family. And then I didn’t want that either because I knew I wasn’t built that way.
“Don’t be sorry, but please finish. I want to know why you think Joel has suspicions.”
She took a deep breath and tried sitting forward again, but I held her still.
“Fine, your head was attached to the groom pictures, the husband, the father, okay?”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and she elbowed me in the stomach, which made me laugh harder.
“I told you three years ago how I felt and five minutes ago you promised not to laugh at me. Apparently, I was wrong about you back then, thinking you would be a good husband. Now I know you suck.”
I laughed against her neck as she huffed and squirmed in my arms.
“Did he adore you?”
“What?” she gasped.
“The husband, the father, my head in a scrapbook. Did that guy ado
re you?”
“Hell yes, he did and he was nice, too. He was caring and would never have laughed at me.”
“Never?” I tickled her ribs and she laughed.
“No, not ever.”
“And Joel knows this how?”
“He found it when he was helping me unpack at my apartment.”
“You brought it with you to college? Your little girl scrap book?” I joked.
“It was my dream book and yes, I did, you big jerk.”
“Was he pissed when he opened it?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I would have shredded it.”
“Well he asked me to toss it and I told him no.”
Again I laughed and this time she did, too.
“Flat Jax.”
“Come again?”
She turned and smiled a bright beautiful smile. “I do love you, Jax.”
“I do love hearing you say that.”
She gave me a little kiss on the cheek and stood up. “Let’s go get you ready for your date.”
“Frankie, it’s not a damn date,” I groaned as I stood up.
“Do you know how lucky you are to have a girlfriend like me?”
“Girlfriend,” I repeated her word out loud just to see how it sounded.
“Oh I’m sorry, that’s not—”
“Don’t be sorry.” I interrupted her. “Damn, I have a girlfriend.”
“No—”
“Frankie, cut it out. It sounds good, feels good. Just new to me, you know. But I like it, a lot.” I took her hand and we walked into the house. “You hungry?”
“Are you going to cook me lunch too?”
I smiled, “In that book of yours, did—flat Jax?”
She bit her lip and laughed, “Yes, flat Jax.”
“Did he do all the cooking?”
“He did,” she grinned. “And cleaning.”
“Yeah, I bet. What did flat Frankie do?” I grabbed some veggies and chicken out of the fridge.
“Watched him,” she pushed herself up on the island counter.
“Wow, that’s just, wow.” I grabbed the skillet out of the cupboard and put it on the range. “What else did she do?”
“She worked in her shop off the back of the house.”
“Really, what did she do in this shop?”
“Made stuff. Soap, candles and fragrances.”
“Interesting,” And it was. Listening to her talk about her dreams was so far from any conversation I had ever had.
