by Mj Fields
I walked out and the guys were by the door and her roommates were on the couch, watching TV.
“I’m going to grab my bag from my car. Please lock the door behind me, I will be back. I’m staying here tonight.”
Mary got up and walked behind me. Shadows gave her a wink and she smiled.
“See you around?” he smiled.
“Yeah,” she smiled at the ground.
We walked out and Titan opened his truck door. “Thanks, man.”
“Not a problem.” I waited till he was in and pulled away before looking at Shadows.
“You have something to tell me?”
“I have no fucking clue what I should and shouldn’t, Shadows. So I’m choosing to keep it to myself until I figure some things out.”
“You don’t think it was a random mugging or just some punks that jumped her.”
I shook my head no. “Not sure yet.”
“I’m here, you know that.”
I nodded and looked towards her place.
“Come on, let’s get your bag so you can get back in there.”
I looked both ways and saw a black car parked just up the road from where we were standing. Frankie’s description, black car no plates, flashed though my head.
I started running towards the car full force.
“Irons!” Shadows yelled behind me.
The car started and quickly reversed and then the driver, who was unrecognizable in the dark of night, cranked the wheel and peeled out down the road.
“Irons!” Shadows screamed as I kept running, trying to catch them.
I ran until the taillights were nearly invisible, then slowed down and tried to catch my breath.
Shadows was beside me panting, “What the hell are you doing!”
I turned and started to jog back towards Frankie’s, when I felt his hand on my shoulder, “You better start talking man.”
“No, I can’t—”
“You sure as hell can. And you better start doing it now.”
“I won’t, Shadows, I won’t drag you or anyone else into this shit.”
We slowed down and began walking fast. He stayed quiet for a few minutes. “You think that was the car Little Will—”
“Her name is Frankie.” I turned and grabbed his shirt collar, “Not Will! You understand me!”
“You hear yourself, Irons?” He shoved my hands away. “You see what you’re doing? She’s in trouble, she is Will’s fucking sister and you aren’t the only one who loved him, Irons. So if she’s into some shit, we help too. The three of us! You fucking understand?”
I walked away, trying to keep myself from beating the shit out of him. He loved Will, hell, he and Titan had even been to Will’s family’s place with us. All of us agreed they were some of the best people we had ever met.
I stopped and turned to him, “I get it, but she is mine.”
“No shit, Irons. That girl has been yours before she was legal, we all knew it, you’re the only one who didn’t. Hell, Titan and I fucked with Will about how his kid sister and you were gonna be banging as soon as she was—”
“What did he say?”
“Will?”
“Yes, Will! What the hell did he say?”
“He laughed, man. Said if it happened he knew you’d do the right thing by her. We were brothers, man—”
“He knew how I was, I don’t believe you—”
“We, the three of us still are, and we know you Irons, just like Will did. You just needed someone to see what we do. She does.”
“She deserves better.”
“I don’t believe that shit and neither do you.”
“I come with a baggage. A ruthless family Shadows. Will’s death broke her down so much, imagine what people like me could do to her.”
“No, you got it wrong.”
“How the fuck can I protect her—”
“You have us too. You, me, and Titan.”
We made it to my car. I unlocked it, grabbed my overnight bag and then walked across the road then up to her place.
When we got closer, I noticed a box in front of the door.
I ran up and kicked it as hard as I could away so it rolled down the stairs and then I banged on the door.
When Mary cracked it, open she looked horrified.
“Thank God,” she closed it and unchained the lock.
“Shadows, go in—”
“No, I go with you.”
“No! You stay with her.”
I ran towards the box and opened it cautiously; inside was a rope with a slipknot tied in it. A warning.
“Irons!”
I turned and saw Shadows walking towards me. I grabbed the box and walked to the stairs.
Where the fuck are you going?”
“You wanna help, Shadows? Stay in that god damned apartment and let me deal with this! I need a fucking minute.”
* * *
AFTER PUTTING THE box in my car, I dialed mother. There was no answer so I left a message for her to call me.
I walked in the apartment where just Mary and Shadows were awake. Renee and Frankie slept through the whole damn thing.
“Thanks, Shadows, I got it from here.”
“What was in the box? Who was the man who knocked on the door? Why don’t you just call the cops, you know she won’t. What the hell is going on!” Marry burst into tears and Shadows gave me a look that told me I better tread lightly.
“Mary, I can take care of this—”
“She could have been killed! Now we have people—”
“Mary, I promise I will take care of this.” I tried to remain calm.
“Really? Until when? Until you get pissed at her again! Until she climbs back inside herself where no one can reach her again! You don’t know what she has been through for three years, hell I don’t even know but she sure as hell looked happier today than she has in the three years I have known her, which is fucked up on so many—”
“I said I have this. End of conversation.” I snapped.
“Irons, don’t.” Shadows warned.
“I’m calling the police. You people—”
“The fuck you are.”
“Irons, go gets some fucking sleep. I’ll deal with this,” Shadows growled back at me.
“You better be damn sure you do,” I said as I walked to Frankie’s room.
She lay sleeping peacefully, holding onto the pillow I had left for her. She was oblivious and I wanted to make sure she remained that way. I just had to figure out how the hell I was going to make that happen with her roommate’s inquisition and the fact that I needed time to figure out what the hell was going on and still keep her, and now the other two people who lived here, safe.
I carefully moved the pillow and slid in. She snuggled into me and I could do nothing except force myself to enjoy this feeling because, at some point, she may realize I was more trouble than I’m worth.
* * *
I WOKE TO my phone vibrating in my pocket and looked over at her bedside alarm. It was six am exactly and I knew only two people called at this time of day. Mother and duty, neither was what I wanted to wake up to.
I slid out from under her arm, put the pillow back in place and snuck out the door. I walked past Shadows asleep on the couch and out the front door to return mothers call in private. I sure as hell didn’t want anyone to know my suspicions.
“Good morning, mother.”
“Jaxson, you sounded upset in your message, and it’s so unlike you to call so late. Is everything all right?”
“No. It’s not.”
“Okay, I have about ten minutes before Lawrence arrives for my workout. Tell me what is wrong.”
Where the fuck was I supposed to start.
“You remember Francesca Cruz?”
“William’s sister. The spunky one, yes, why?”
“She and I are going to try to start a relationships.”
She laughed a condescending laugh, as if I was joking. “Is this a joke, Jaxson? You have
never dated.”
“No, it’s not a joke Mother.”
“Jaxson, people like us, don’t date people like them.”
“And just what the fuck—”
“Watch your tone and language with me son.”
“Then explain what that is supposed to mean. She is a good person, Will’s sister.”
“Will’s sister, Jaxson, think about that. You apparently are missing him and that’s why “She loves me and my feelings—”
“Feelings, love? Jaxson you know better. And of course she would say that, you will be a catch to whomever it is you settle with. But you will be with someone with a similar background and social status, Jaxson. This discussion is over. Figure out a way to make her un-love you.”
“Someone beat her up pretty bad last night. Then someone in the same type of vehicle showed up here at her place and left a fucking rope in a box on her doorstep. You know anything about this?” I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to ask her if she knew about my child and the death of Sandra.
“You are publically dating Mimi Caldwell, Jaxson—”
“Like hell I am, Mother. I attend events with her because you’ve been insistent and Frankie isn’t—”
“Frankie,” she cackled. “Jaxson, don’t act like a love struck school boy. You’ve been raised better than that.”
My blood was at boiling point now, “You still haven’t answered my god damned question, mother.”
“Question, Jaxson?”
“Do you know anything about her attack or—”
“Now, why the hell would I know about that, Jaxson? Do you even know anything about this girl besides the fact that she is William’s sister? I mean really Jaxson.”
“I want to make sure she is safe. Do you understand that?”
“I want you to be seen with Mimi at functions, do you understand that?”
“No. No I do not. Francesca is my girlfriend. She will be attending—”
“She will be attending what, Jaxson? Do you really think that if she has someone after her that will make her safer? You do understand where this governorship is leading Jaxson. Your father has the support we have dreamed about. He has a great shot at the Republican Party’s support in a year for the next Presidential election if this goes well. One year, Jaxson, of toeing the line and we could be looking at residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in two years. Then in twelve years, it’s practically handed to you. Do you understand? This is a dream of our families and your obligation.”
“Presidency is your dream. It is not mine.”
“Jaxson, remove the emotional baggage you are allowing yourself to carry. Tell me being the Commander and Chief of this great nation is not something you have dreamed of your entire life.”
“I want both.”
She let out an exaggerated breath. “I have never indulged a spoiled child Jaxson and that is just what you’re acting like. But I will allow it, play with Francesca,” I heard her cover the phone and speak to someone for a moment and then she was back, “I will ensure her safety, put someone on her—”
“Someone that answers to me mother, not you. You send names, I chose who it is,” I demanded.
“As long as your indulgence is private and not public, son. As long as you continue going to events with Miss Caldwell, I will ensure that she is kept safe.”
“Francesca is not an indulgence. When you and father are living in Richmond in Capitol Square, I am out and that will all depend on whether or not Frankie is willing to play this game. I don’t like it one bit, do you understand?”
“Indulging you, son, don’t argue. My trainer is here. We will chat later.”
She hung up and I leaned over the railing trying to figure out how to I would proceed.
I had no clue who to trust anymore. I had no idea if Mimi was full of shit or if her family was behind the attacks and threats. I had no idea what the hell I was going to do, what I knew was that I didn’t want to walk away from Frankie.
What mother had said about feelings was not one hundred percent wrong. Feelings, emotions, those things clearly confused the mission I had been on my entire life. It felt too damn good, too right to be wrong.
I needed to speak to Mimi, and I needed to figure out if her suspicions were real or not. I needed to know who I could and could not trust. I needed to know more before I trusted one of her people to watch over Frankie when I was unable to. One thing that I was now sure of was that her safety, her sanity would come before anyone in my life.
I turned to see Shadows leaning against the door to the apartment, smoking a cigarette.
“Those things will kill you, man.”
He smirked and held it out, “Not lit.”
“What’s the sense, then?”
“Just want the choice to be mine. I love these damn things and everyone says they’re bad for me. I’m not sure I agree. I mean who the fuck knows if they really give you cancer, right? But I keep a pack on me so that I can be the one to make that choice. Not some fuck who has never sucked it into their lungs and loved the burn; me. Bad for me or not, if I want it, I can have it.”
He gave me a wink.
“Can you stick around for a few hours?”
“You have shit to stir up?” He opened the Camel hard pack and put the unlit cigarette back in.
“Maybe a little.”
“She’ll be pissed when she wakes up and you’re not here. You should go tell her you’re taking off.”
“She’ll understand.”
“Sure about that?”
“Shadows, I am pretty damn sure.”
“Alright man.”
“Thanks.”
Say Something
Frankie
AFTER LISTENING TO Jax’s conversation with his mother through the cracked living room window inside my apartment, I knew it was going to be a long day. We needed to discuss what having a relationship with me would really mean for him and his future. Although he seemed adamant that he cared, and I knew he did, I wasn’t sure I was willing to let him throw away a future that he didn’t seem to want to walk away from.
While showering, I replayed his side of the conversation in my head. Good morning, mother. No. It’s not. You remember Francesca Cruz? She and I are going to try to start a relationship. No it’s not a joke, mother.
His mother clearly thought her son was incapable of loving me. But he had stuck up for me by saying explain what that is supposed to mean. She is a good person. I wondered what she knew that led her to believe I wasn’t good enough for him. And then when he said She is Will’s sister, I wondered if maybe Jax and I were kidding ourselves about our feelings not being brought on by Will’s loss.
I was sure I was wrong when he said, she loves me and my feelings, but then he was interrupted. The subject changed to the attack and maybe that was another reason he felt this way, maybe he was trying to protect his best friend’s sister.
I learned that a rope of some sort was left on my doorstep and yes, it scared the hell out of me, but what did it mean?
He went on to argue with her. About me going to events and I was sure I wasn’t ready for that, not at all.
Then wanting to keep me safe and names and he gets to choose. Choose what? He said I wasn’t an indulgence, and that his decision was based on whether I was willing to play this game. I assumed he meant political and I wasn’t sure I wanted to play it, either.
Then I watched him lean over, resting his elbows on the railing running his hands over his hair. I knew he was angry, tense, and he must have been tired. I knew I was.
The warm water didn’t hurt as much against my skin as it did yesterday, it was tolerable.
I closed my eyes and finally let it sink, in what had actually taken place in the last twenty four hours. I missed Will every day but today was worse. I needed him and the peace he brought to me, and I knew Jax needed him too.
My tears couldn’t be stopped. They released with my sorrow, my intense sadness, the fear I felt was imminent and the fe
ar was of what was to come. I stood, allowing the shower water to dance with my tears, to hide them, to sweep them away, and to make them disappear so I wouldn’t make him feel more angst than I knew he felt right then.
When the tears dried up and the water ran cold, I got out and grabbed my robe, threw it on and walked out.
Shadows was standing against the counter, drinking a cup of coffee, and it startled me.
“Hey, girl, it’s just me.”
“Sorry, it’s just—”
“Lots going on, I know. Coffee?”
“Sure.”
I sat at the table and he handed me a cup of coffee and sat down.
“Did Jax go back to bed?”
He shook his head no and looked up from his cup. “He had to step out.”
“So you’re, what, babysitting me?”
Shadows smiled and then took a sip of coffee.
“Nah, he just needed to go out.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s good. You don’t have to worry about him.”
“Shadows, please don’t treat me like I’m some kid. I’m not. I’m a woman now.”
“Listen Little Will, I don’t want to hear that, okay? Jax may be good with it but Shadows,” he pointed to himself, “is not.”
“You’re a jerk.”
He laughed and then we sat silently for a moment.
“Shadows, I don’t like him doing whatever it is he is doing alone. I—” I stopped when I felt the heat start in my throat. “I worry about him too, you know.”
“I do, too. I know he’ll be okay.”
Finally I couldn’t stop myself from asking the question, “Do you think his family—”
“No. No, I don’t.”
“Then who?”
He looked at me and shook his head from side to side, “No idea, but I do know it won’t happen again.”
“How do you know that?”
“Will left you three,” he scrunched up his face, “okay, Irons doesn’t count anymore, so two big brothers.”
“Who will keep me in the dark just like Jax.”
“On the contrary, we’ll keep you in the light, Little Will.”
There was a knock at the door and he jumped up and held his hand against his hip. “Oh, my God, do you have a gun?”
