by Mary Eason
Aaron had mentioned once something about John’s father leaving him a place at the beach.
He turned to her in the darkness. The small cab of the truck shrunk to nothing but a breath between them. “You’ll be safe here. I made sure we weren’t followed. So, why so nervous? You’ve been alone with me before. Many times as I recall.” The rough edges in his voice reminded her of all those other times. She wondered if he, too, remembered the passion they’d shared together.
She cleared her throat. “In the past. That’s over.”
He didn’t say a word, but his eyes spoke volumes. It wasn’t over at all.
John parked the truck in front of a small cabin, got out of the truck, grabbed her bag, and waited. After a moment, she climbed out and stood next to him.
He unlocked the door of the tiny cabin and stepped inside, drawing her with him. In the tiny entrance, his fingers tightened on her arm. “Wait here.”
Anna stood frozen in place by a myriad of emotions. Fear. Need. Uncertainty. The inevitable realization that the past would have its say here whether she liked it or not.
John moved through each room, searching the place without turning on a single light.
“It’s clear.” His voice reached her in the darkness. He was close. Too close. Anna stepped back.
John flipped on the switch, flooding the room with light. She took her time examining the place, mostly because she needed time to recover her control.
“Make yourself at home. There’s not much to see. Just the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom’s through there…and then the bedroom,” he added softly.
Anna's gaze ricocheted to his. Nothing showed on his face. No emotion. Was it just her imagination? If so, how could she stay here, be close to him, and not be constantly overacting to everything John said or did.
“I’m going to put the truck in the garage behind the house just as a precaution. You take the bedroom, I’ll use the sofa.”
He disappeared before she could manage an answer. With him gone, she could breathe again. Gemma whimpered in her arms and Anna realized she’d been clutching her tight, almost to the point of cutting off air.
“I’m sorry, baby. You want to stretch your legs?” Anna sat the dog down at her feet and wandered through the tiny cabin with Gemma trailing her.
Furnished with only the bare necessities, the rustic cabin, though functional, was not meant to encourage long stays inside. It said a lot about the person who came here. Anna knew John was an outdoorsman at heart. He’d shared his love of the outdoors with her many times in the past. She could hear that the ocean was close, within walking distance of the cabin, allowing all sorts of outdoor activities. The cabin would be for eating and sleeping only.
Anna dropped her bag on the bed and left the room. Best not to think about the times John had slept in this same bed. Would he have come here alone? Did he have a girlfriend? Did he ever think of her?
She scooped up Gemma again and went back to the kitchen where a quick search of the pantry revealed it was remarkably well stocked. John had planned ahead. Had he expected the killer’s latest move?
“Are you hungry?” She hadn’t realized he’d returned until he spoke. She saw him standing in the doorway watching her.
Anna tried to remember the last time she’d eaten anything substantial and couldn’t. John took her silence for consent. He came up behind her and gently pushed her into one of the chairs then took Gemma from her arms. John found a bowl and poured dog food into it. He’d thought about her dog as well. Anna refused to be swept away by his consideration.
He took out eggs and ham. “How does an omelet sound?”
Her stomach growled in appreciation and he grinned. “I’ll take that for a yes. I’d offer coffee, but I think you’ve probably had enough of that for one day. How about wine instead?”
Alone in a remote cabin, with a man she’d shared a very intimate history with, wine was the last thing she needed.
“It might help you relax,” he added when he correctly read what she was thinking.
John took a bottle of white wine from the fridge and poured two glasses then handed Anna one of them. She watched him work in silence for a moment, then took the peppers from his hand and started to chop them. He smiled at her.
“When do you want to look at the files?” She was determined to keep the focus on the case.
“Not tonight. You have to be exhausted,” he added when she would have argued the point. “You’ve been through one hell of a twenty-four hours. We’ll start on them in the morning, after you’ve had a good night’s rest.”
She didn’t want to wait another minute, much less until tomorrow. She needed to find out if there were any clues in them that Aaron might have unknowingly behind. “John, this thing can’t wait that long.”
“It can and it will,” he insisted then glanced down at her. “And whatever you think you’re going to find there, you can forget it. There's nothing there.”
Anna couldn’t hold his gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“You do. You think that by getting a look at those files you’ll somehow gain some magical insight into Aaron’s mindset during those last months. I’m telling you it won’t. Don’t you think I’ve thought the same? There’s nothing new in them, Anna. Whatever secrets Aaron had, his reasons for shutting you and me out of his life, well, he took them with him to the grave.”
Anna laid down the knife and faced him. “I can’t accept that. I won’t.”
John watched her carefully. She could almost feel the tension in him. “It’s true.”
“No, it’s not. He told you something, didn’t he? Deny it, John.”
He couldn’t.
“I thought not. What was my husband keeping from me? Dammit, John, I have a right to know.”
He shoved the skillet off the burner and took her by her arms. “Ex-husband and I’m not having this conversation with you, Anna. I can’t.”
Anna saw a crack in his resolve and pressed on. John still wanted her. It was there in the sultry shade of blue in his eyes. She pushed closer. “Why can’t you? What are you keeping from me?”
“Dammit, Anna, don’t do this.”
“Then tell me the truth. Please, for God's sake, just tell me.” She leaned in closer. Their bodies touching now. Her motives no longer clear. His resolve crumbling.
“Just tell me.” He didn’t. Instead, he dragged her closer, his eyes dark with anger. Desire. She had time for just a single ragged breath before his lips claimed her and history -- their history -- repeated itself.
Chapter Ten
The heat. The passion. The raw need that was always there between them, even when she was trying to deny it, roared back to life like a firestorm. Nothing else mattered but being in his arms. Touching him. Having him touch her.
He fingers tightened around her waist and then he put her a little away from him, searching her eyes. This was the man who made her feel so many unwelcome things. Anger. Hate. Lust.
“Anna, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that—”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to hear his regrets. She touched her lips to his and he wavered. “Make love to me, John. Please, I don’t want to think about tomorrow, or the past. Of what lies in the future. I want this. Make love to me now.”
“Anna," he breathed in her name then reached for her. "Oh my God, yes.” His lips claimed hers once more. Familiar. Strong. John.
He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.
The only light in the room was from the moon outside. But it was enough to see the raw heat in his eyes. The same desire would be reflected in hers as well. It was always like this for them. Whatever happened, no matter how much they might disagree about other parts of their lives, about Aaron, their yearning for each other hadn’t faded.
John smiled down at her. He pulled her against him, his lips moving slowly over hers, creating a familiar need deep inside of her. She wanted him. More than s
he’d ever wanted Aaron.
His hands slipped over her body through the barrier of her clothing, touching her, reaching past the walls she’d erected to keep from living, from moving beyond the past. She shuddered in response to his touch He smiled against her lips. Everything about John was seductive, including his smile.
Strong fingers molded her body, gliding across the edges of her breasts, down to the curve of her hips to cup her bottom, bringing her closer to his full erection.
Anna touched his chest before sliding her hand slowly lower. John grabbed her wrist, bringing her to cover his erection. She could feel his response through the strained material of his jeans. His eyes never left hers.
“Do you see what you do to me? What you’ve always done to me?”
Slowly, he lifted her up. Her legs circled his waist automatically. They fit together perfectly and yet she wanted to be closer.
Like those times in the past, getting close to John mentally, emotionally was hard to do. Even when he was inside her, she still couldn’t seem to reach the part of John no woman had ever been allowed to touch.
Anna closed her eyes tight as John carried her to the bed. His lips found hers once more, as he lowered her back against the bed, their bodies still joined, never breaking the kiss.
Slowly John lifted her blouse above her head. The cool night air brushed across her heated skin. John moved away.
“No.” She grabbed his arm. She didn’t want to let him go.
“It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I just want to… God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered while looking down into her eyes.
Suddenly Anna was at a loss for words. So many secrets lay between herself and John. The biggest of them all, the ones he kept for Aaron, were the ones she believed would mark the end of them.
John lay next to her, his lips moving across hers once more before traveling down her throat and lower. He kissed each of her breasts to arousal through the filmy material of her pale pink bra then he unclasped the bra and tossed it aside. Anna drew in a shaky breath, which brought his eyes back to hers.
All the times they’d spent together like this in the past resurfaced. Their hunger for each other as endless then as it was now. John unbuttoned her jeans then skillfully slid them from her body along with the wispy panties. Anna closed her eyes when his lips trailed warm kisses across her ribcage and down to her navel, dipping inside.
A shudder of a sigh carried raw desire through her when John’s lips moved lower, caressing her inner thigh before slowly drifting upward to kiss the slick outer lips of her sex, driving her wild with need.
Anna's body arched against his lips. She barely registered that he’d whispered her name over her own cry of pleasure. His hand cupped her bottom, tilting her pussy toward his mouth as he speared his tongue into her.
Anna’s head fell back against the pillows, her eyes squeezing shut against the maelstrom of passion washing through her. So good. Intense. His tongue drove deep through her, licking at the walls that were clamping down around it. She whimpered when he pulled out, only to gasp as he lapped through the folds again. Her clit throbbed for him, straining to be kissed. Sucked. He didn’t disappoint. The heat of his mouth enveloped it, drawing gently at first, then harder. Deeper. Need began to pool in her belly, her muscles quaking badly now. So…close…
“Hold on.” He moved a little away. Oh God. She didn’t even know where her own hands were, but as he lifted her, already grasping the thigh of the leg she held herself up on, she found them and held on as he ordered. Just in the nick of time, because he slung her other leg over his shoulder, cupped her bottom in both hands and took on all of her weight. Then he dove back in, his thumbs parting her flesh as he devoured her. Giving all of herself over to him, Anna let her legs fall slack and tumbled headlong into ecstasy. He ate at her, every strong glide of his tongue, flicking strum and drawing kiss taking her further and further from reality. There was only John, touching her, loving her. His teeth gently clamped around her clit. He sucked at her, and the entire world simply disappeared in a wild burst of pleasure.
John stilled, waiting until the climax passed, and then he stood and quickly undressed, his eyes never leaving Anna's.
He came back to her, his lips taking hers once again, gently forcing hers open. His tongue delved deep inside. As much as his touch thrilled her, she wanted to touch John in the same way.
“No.” His tone was hard, controlled as her fingers stroked the length of his full erection. John took her hands and held them above her head. He took his time touching her, kissing her, stroking her body until she begged him to enter her.
He grabbed his jeans and fumbled through the pockets until he found the little packet. The question in Anna's eyes had to be easy to read.
“I thought, well, it’s more like I hoped really.” He opened the condom and quickly sheathed himself and then she was in his arms once more and he moved between her legs, his eyes still locked with hers.
Helplessly, she gave in, lost in the swirl of need and desire. Her hair finally gave up as well, falling around them like a curtain. His hand moved off her face, following the concave arc of her spine before sliding over the curve of her rear. He squeezed, sending a flash of white-hot sensation through to her slick sex. He traced the crease he found all the way down to her wet folds, teasing her opening with dipping caresses. She throbbed there, her sensitive flesh straining to take him in, practically sucking at his tempting touch but finding no reprieve. She needed him. Needed to be filled. Yanking back from his kiss, she braced a hand on his chest so she could pull at the button of his jeans. With a groan, he helped her, the two of them impatiently freeing his cock. He took hold of it, gripping the thick base to steady it for her. Need demanded she fit herself over him, take him in and fill the emptiness, but greed demanded something else. A taste.
As if he could read her mind, he opened his eyes halfway, peering at her for a frozen moment. She stared right back, even as she lowered her lips and took the swollen head of him between them. Down she went, taking him all the way into her mouth, swirling her tongue around him until he squeezed her hand. Back up, slow, only to draw him once more into her mouth. It wasn’t the same kind of fullness she’d wanted, but satisfaction tingled through her as she again met his now-pumping grip. The stain of red on his cheeks and the near-glowing intensity of his eyes fed the hunger in her, made her move faster over him. She licked, sucking at the hint of fluid seeping from the head, tearing a guttural groan from him before speeding her pace to match his strokes. Soon, it wasn’t enough. She needed more. Needed him.
He didn’t question when she pulled him from her mouth. No, he helped her straddle him. Swore virulently when the crown of his cock met the wet heat of her pussy and sank deep inside. Rocking on him, full of him, Anna became a being of pure feeling. Her hands settled on his chest, using him as leverage to lift herself up before sliding back to the hilt. Faster and faster she rocked, her need a clawing desperation.
He lifted onto one elbow, stilling her by looping his other arm around her waist and drawing her breast to his mouth. She cried out as he nipped at the hard point, licking at the sting before sucking deeply. She tried to move, tried to reach the peak, but the faster she moved, the slower he met her. Her hands clawed at his shoulders, but he refused to match her pace. Then, suddenly, he flipped them, fitting her beneath him. She gasped, blinking up at him, her heart stuttering at the intense heat in his molten gaze. All movement stopped, leaving her aware of his forearms under her shoulders, his hands in her hair holding her face still. Most of all, the sense of fullness, the hot intrusion of his cock within her, throbbing but not moving through her. Instead, it was nestled there, cradled by her body as if that was where he’d always belonged.
It was all she could do to breathe more than a shaky exhalation at a time, his stillness demanding she feel beyond the physical. His stare implored her. She was so fucking tired of crying, but unwanted emotion—love, pain, disappointment, heartbreak, n
eed, even the joy buried beneath it all—rose and roiled inside her like a wave she couldn’t possibly survive.
Tears overflowed down the sides of her face and into her hair. Her hands, flat against his chest, curled into fists. “Don’t do this to me, John.”
“I have to.” He lowered his lips to hers, a soft almost chaste kiss that crumbled more of the walls she’d been so desperate to build. His hips rose, slowly, sliding him from her briefly before he stroked back inside. Another kiss, another slow rise and fall of his body into hers, and she sobbed against his mouth. “You need to feel this.”
“I can’t.” She arched against him, her belly sliding against his. She tightened her legs around him, desperate to turn this from an act of love to something she could ignore, but he wasn’t having it. He stopped, returning them to that terrible stillness. “Please, John! I can’t go back to the darkness. Not alone. Please, not alone.”
“You’re not alone, baby. I swear, you’re not alone.” He pressed deep into her, grinding against her clit and sending a wracking shudder of pleasure through her. He levered up, pulling back to thrust deeper still. “You’re never alone.” She stared up at him, unable to break that gaze as his thrusts increased, each one a full-length retreat and return, the width of him stroking her walls all the way around him, sending near-blinding waves of pleasure through her, but still she couldn’t look away.
“Don’t leave me again, Anna.” He panted, his dark hair catching the moisture on his forehead and flattening there. “I need you.” He did. For the first time in so long, she could see it there in his eyes. Not sexual need, though that stained his cheeks. No, this was deeper. The glimpse of his heart she hadn’t seen in so long. Afraid to believe, she reached up, brushing the wet strands of his hair back, looking as deep as she dared into those tormented eyes.
“John?” His name was little more than a breath, but something broke in him. Or maybe it was her touch, both of her hands now cupped his face, and his control shattered. Eyes squeezed shut, he turned his face into her hand, for the first time, his tears began to escape, spilling hotly onto her palm.
