She turned her head to one side, hating the weak tears that seeped from beneath her eyelids. “Reese, I—I don’t know. It’s not that—”
She felt him freeze against her. “Baby, the last thing I want to do is make you unhappy.” He stroked her hair. “One day at a time, remember? If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
Clearly, it wasn’t necessarily what he wanted or needed, but he’d give her space. Thinking of the future was one giant step beyond where she could tread right now.
But how long would Reese tolerate her reticence? How patient could he be? A chill traced icy fingers up her spine. He’d left once before, when she’d never even imagined he would. Now she knew better.
What if he left again?
Nick arrived promptly at seven with a bottle of wine for his hostess, which they opened equally promptly. Celia had prepared a tray with crackers, apples and cheese, and Nick joined Reese in the living room while she returned to the kitchen. Reese watched her leave the room, knowing she was being thoughtful, giving him time for a private reunion, but wishing she were by his side anyway.
Pouring the wine into deep-bowled crystal glasses that Celia had retrieved from a cupboard and hastily washed, Reese handed Nick a glass of Merlot. Nick held the glass by the stem, swirling it competently and eyeing the color before inhaling its bouquet. The last time they’d seen each other, they’d barely been legal, and as Reese recalled, their drink of choice was dark Mexican beer. The contrast served to remind him again of the distance he’d maintained through the years. Once again regret nipped at him.
God, it was good to see Nick. They were only a year apart in age and had been inseparable companions during their childhood, along with the next brother down the line, Joe, who was only a year younger than Reese.
“So, how are you?” He tried not to stare, drinking in the familiar yet different features, measuring the subtle changes adulthood had brought to Nick.
“Good, good. Married.”
“Married,” Reese repeated. “Celia said she thought you were. Any kids?”
“One. A daughter.”
Reese shook his head, again unable to process the changes in his brother. “Not possible.”
Nick grinned wickedly, and for an instant their old closeness returned. “Quite possible. Want me to explain it to you?”
Reese returned the smile. “No, thanks. I think I’ve got it.” He hesitated, feeling awkward again. “How’d you find me?”
“Daniel.”
Daniel. Reese’s cousin, Derrick’s twin brother, though the two were as different as two men could be. Reese was genuinely puzzled. “How did Daniel know I was here?” As in here at Celia’s.
Nick must have read his mind. “He didn’t. He was at the Cape house in August on his honeymoon and when he came home, he told me he was pretty sure he’d caught a glimpse of you.” Nick’s face tightened. “I thought about it and thought about it and finally decided to come see if he was right.”
Reese was astounded by the coincidence. “I was only here for two days that time. Then I went home again—Florida is home, by the way—and arranged for a longer vacation.”
“To see Celia.”
“To look up Celia,” he corrected Nick. “I heard she might be single.”
“And obviously, she is. Waited for you all these years, huh?”
Reese realized Nick must not know that Celia was a widow, but he decided not to get into all that for the moment.
“Not exactly,” Reese said dryly. He looked straight at Nick. “I was planning to get in touch while I was here. You beat me to it.”
“Right.” There was the faintest note of derision in his brother’s tone.
“I saw Derrick last week, over on Nantucket, and it made me realize how much I wanted to see the rest of you.” There was no point in telling Nick everything he’d seen.
“He didn’t mention that.” Nick looked disgusted. “He’s even more of a royal screwup than he was when you were home. I swear he enjoys stirring up trouble.”
“I didn’t talk to him.” Reese spread his hands when Nick’s eyebrows rose. “It wasn’t a good time and I didn’t have a lot to say.”
“He’d have probably bent your ear about how badly he’s being treated right now,” said Nick.
“Meaning?”
“How much have you kept up with what’s happening at Baronessa?” Nick stood and began roaming the room, examining Celia’s knickknacks and pictures, but Reese got the impression he wasn’t really seeing them.
“Not much.” Reese stood, too, watching his older brother prowl. “Celia told me someone started a fire. Why would anyone want to burn down the plant?”
“I wish I knew.” Nick looked frustrated. “That wasn’t the first incident but it’s by far the most serious. Someone has a grudge, and I think it’s personal.”
“The Conti family?” Funny how the word “grudge” immediately brought their grandfather’s old rival to mind.
“We don’t have any proof of that. But last week the Contis hired a private investigator,” Nick said.
“What for?”
His brother shook his head. “Don’t know. And believe me, we’d like to. Claudia’s been unofficially appointed to try to find out why. And that’s got Derrick’s boxers in a knot. He thinks he should be in on the investigation of the investigator.”
Reese had to smile.
“But you know how abrasive he can be. That hasn’t changed in thirteen years. He’s the last person I want messing around the Contis, and I finally had to tell him straight out to stay clear of it.”
“Bet that went over big.”
“Yeah, like mud in a milkshake.”
“Celia heard that Emily was hurt in the fire. Is she all right?”
Nick hesitated. “Yes and no. Physically, she’s recovered. She wasn’t burned, but she had a head injury from falling debris.”
Reese winced. “How bad?”
“She’s recovered, as I said, but she’s experienced some significant memory loss. It’s possible that she saw whoever set that fire but she can’t remember. Hell, it’s possible whoever set that fire intended her to die in there.”
“God.” He was shaken by the thought.
“The only good thing to come out of it is that the firefighter who carried Em out of there is her fiancé now.”
Her fiancé? He chuckled despite himself, shaking his head. Although he knew it was foolish, it was hard to rid himself of the thirteen-year-old images of his family. “When I left home, she was eleven. How can she possibly be engaged?”
But Nick didn’t return the laughter. “We’re all grown now. You’ve been away a long time, Reese.”
He sobered quickly in the face of his brother’s unspoken censure. “I know how long it’s been.”
“Why didn’t you stay in touch? Answer my letters?”
“I don’t know.” He looked at the ground. “I was just so pissed…and hurt, more than anything.” Funny how he could finally admit that. “I wasn’t mad at any of you guys except the old man, but I couldn’t…I couldn’t see any of you. I had to get away, fast. And once I was gone, time sort of got away from me.”
There was hurt, deep hurt, in Nick’s gaze, and such reproach that he had to look away again. “It sure did.”
There was a heavy silence. He knew it was his fault they’d been out of touch for so long. Early on, several of his siblings had tried to communicate—but he’d been such a jerk. And now they’d lost more than a decade of precious memories that they could never replace. It was only since Kent had died that he could fully appreciate how important shared memories could be. “So tell me about the rest of the gang.”
“Mom and Dad are well. They miss you, too,” Nick said. He ignored the slight stiffening Reese couldn’t prevent and smoothly moved on. “Let’s see. I’ll just go down the line so I don’t forget anyone. Joe was married and widowed young. It was a terrible thing, but he’s married again to a great woman. Colleen became a nun—”
“A nun?” On second thought, he wasn’t completely surprised.
“But she left her order a couple years ago and recently got married. Guess who she married?”
Reese raised an eyebrow.
“Gavin O’Sullivan!”
“O’Sullivan! You’re kidding.” Nick’s best friend from childhood had been one of Reese’s best buds, as well.
“Nope.” Nick ticked off their siblings on his fingers. “Alex is married and a father, Gina’s married. Rita’s a nurse now and she’s married to a doctor.”
“And Maria?” He couldn’t imagine his youngest sisters all grown up and married.
Nick hesitated. “Maria’s…missing.”
Missing? “What the hell does that mean?”
“She went away last month. She left a note so we wouldn’t worry, but nobody knows where she is.”
“Do you think she’s okay?”
Nick spread his hands. “I hope so. If she isn’t back by the date she promised, I’m calling out the National Guard.”
“So how about the cousins?”
“Cousins!” The worry fell away from Nick’s face and he actually laughed. “Derrick, Daniel and Em I already mentioned. And Claudia…Claudia is a force of nature. Still single, totally gorgeous and as bullheaded as ever. But here’s a shocker. We have a new cousin!”
Reese was confused. “One of them has a child?”
“Not yet. The new cousin is Uncle Luke’s daughter.”
He was positively staggered by the news. Their father’s twin brother had been abducted from the hospital when they were just two days old, and despite massive efforts by the police, no trace of Luke had ever surfaced. Reese’s memories of his grandmother were of a sweet, gentle Italian matriarch with an aura of sorrow that never completely left her eyes. “You guys found Uncle Luke?”
“Not exactly.” Nick’s face fell. “Turns out he’s already passed away. But his daughter, Karen, figured out who she was when some pictures of a family reunion in July made the papers. She got in touch, and now we’ve got another family member. Several, actually, since she’s married with a baby on the way.”
“Whoa. Can’t wait to meet her.”
“Does that mean you’re considering coming home?”
Damn. Nick always had been a persistent cuss. “I’ve thought about visiting,” he said cautiously.
“So will you come for a visit? Bring Celia, too, if you guys are serious.” When Reese didn’t immediately acquiesce, Nick said, “You could stay with us if you don’t want to stay at the house.”
“I’ll think about it.” But first he needed to find out what—if any—direction this dance he and Celia were doing was going. Were they serious, as Nick put it? He hoped so. Because he’d like nothing better than to have her with him, to introduce her to his family. Preferably as his wife. “I’ll think about it,” he said again, “and get in touch.”
“Reese,” Nick said softly, “Dad’s sorry about that fight. He’s been sorry since the day you left. Mom hardly spoke to him for at least a year. She wanted to hire people to find you but he wouldn’t let her. He said if you didn’t want to ever see him again he couldn’t blame you and that if you wanted to come home, you would.”
Reese stared at his older brother. A bitter wash of regret tasted sour in his throat. “If he’d ever uttered one word of apology, I’d have been home like a shot,” he said stiffly. “But I wasn’t coming back so I could be falsely accused and screamed at again.”
“You wouldn’t have been,” Nick informed him. “Eliza Mayhew confessed that she’d lied about the baby’s father. He was some guy from her university. I don’t think Dad will ever forgive himself for not trusting you.” He swallowed. “Deep down, I believe he thinks he shouldn’t ever be forgiven. Living without you is his punishment.” His mouth twisted. “Only thing is, it’s punished all the rest of us, as well.” He gave Reese an affectionate punch in the shoulder. “Jerk.”
“Hey, you two.” Celia’s slim frame was silhouetted in the light streaming into the room from the kitchen. “The meal’s about ready.”
The evening had been surprisingly enjoyable, Reese thought, cuddling her closer in her bed that night. He’d expected more tension. Suppressed anger. There’d been the occasional awkward moment, but all in all, it had been damned good to see his brother again.
Nick had mellowed, somehow. He’d always been intense and driven, but tonight he’d been different. Maybe marriage was responsible. Reese was looking forward to meeting his new wife.
Celia stirred in his arms. “How are you?” Her voice was soft, tentative.
“Good.” He kissed her temple. “Seeing Nick was terrific.”
“I’m glad. I worried all day that I’d pushed you into something you weren’t ready for.”
“I didn’t think I was,” he said reflectively. “Maybe I needed a little nudge in the right direction.”
They were silent again. His hand swept up and down her back, stroking the silky skin in a gently abstracted manner as he thought about what he’d just said. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who needed a little nudge, he thought.
He cleared his throat. “I haven’t really told you, but I’d like to hear about Leo if you ever want to talk about him. I’d like to know about your pregnancy, his birth, what kind of stuff he liked. Anything you’d like to share.”
Celia’s body went rigid in his arms. “You said his name.” Her voice sounded wounded. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve heard anyone say his name? Everyone thinks they’re helping if they don’t remind me, I guess.” A sob broke loose and he felt the warmth of tears dampen his skin beneath her cheek. “But it’s like he and Milo never existed sometimes.”
He pulled her closer, each tear that touched him feeling like a live ember. “They still exist, baby. They’ll always live in your memories.” He took a deep breath. “Any time you want to talk about them, I’ll listen.”
She went still in his arms. “That,” she finally said, “is an extraordinarily kind offer.”
He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, considering I’m eaten alive with jealousy when I let myself think that it should have been me you shared those years with, that I should have been your son’s father.”
Celia’s body had gone stiff in his arms again. Well, tough. He was tired of her resisting him. “This is how it should have been all those years ago. We should have gotten married, made a home of our own and started a family.” He took her arms and shook her lightly. “I still want those things,” he said, tipping up her chin with a relentless hand until she met his eyes.
But she dropped her gaze, closing herself away from him, shielding her thoughts. Quietly she said, “But will you still want me if children aren’t a part of the equation?”
Now it was his turn to pause. He should tell her now that he already had a child. But…she’d made it pretty damn clear that she didn’t want more children, and he found he couldn’t force himself to speak. He needed more time. Time to let her get used to the idea of them again, time to cement the bonds of love with the meeting of flesh as well as emotions. She’d loved him once, and he was beginning to be pretty sure she still did.
“I want you any way I can get you,” he said in a rough voice. He rolled over, pushing her back against the pillows as he settled himself snugly against her. She made a small, soft noise of approval in her throat and he knew exactly how she felt. They had been made for each other. Making love to her was like finding his own personal miracle.
He stroked the tears from her face with his thumbs. “Any way at all,” he affirmed as he sought her mouth and his hands began to slide over her silky skin.
Sensitive now to her desire not to create scandal, he left in the soft almost-morning light that pearled the sky above the ocean to the east. They kissed on the stoop and he felt like a teenager again.
“Will I see you later?” He still held her loosely against him.
She nodded. “You can join us at
the marina if you like. We still have a lot of storm cleanup to take care of.”
“Work? Me?” He grinned, and she smiled as he’d intended her to. He drew her to him for one final, lingering kiss. “All right. I suppose I could manage that if I had some incentive.”
“Ah,” she said against his lips, “have I got an incentive program for you. Why don’t you plan on coming over for dinner and we’ll discuss it?”
“I have a better idea,” he said, running his palms up and down the long, smooth line of her back. “Let’s have dinner aboard the yacht tonight. We could sail up the coast and back afterward and enjoy an evening on the water.”
She laid her head against his shoulder and he enjoyed the feel of her snuggled against him. “That sounds lovely. Let’s do it.”
Eight
He visited a local bakery where he’d discovered an incredibly good corn bread made by the proprietor, then bought lobster and shrimp from a fresh fish shack on the waterfront. A salad and one of Celia’s apple cobblers would be all they would need.
Except each other, he thought, his blood heating as he thought of the night to come. Then he shook his head, laughing at himself. He was as bad as he’d been during the summer he’d spent with Celia, unable to get enough of her. No matter how many times he made love to her, it seemed all he did was think about the next time he could get her into his bed.
It wasn’t just the physical fulfillment, although he had no complaints in that department. No, it wasn’t just their lovemaking, but the closeness he craved, both physical and emotional. He’d been without her for so long that he doubted he would ever get enough of simply holding her next to him, feeling her heart’s steady beat as her blood coursed through the fragile blue veins at her wrists, her temples and just under the petal-soft skin of her breasts. It delighted him when they finished each other’s sentences, when they laughed at the same thing at the same moment, when a mere glance from her could calm and reassure him.
How amazing was it that after thirteen years he’d come back at the right time and found her? If he were inclined to believe in fate, he might think their getting together again had been inevitable. Only this time, the ending was going to be different. He was going to make sure of it.
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