by Skyy
Saura
Katrina read the final line again. As she reread the letter over and over, rage filled her body. She ripped the letter up and threw it on the ground. She picked her phone up and dialed Saura’s number only to get a disconnected message. Saura not only left, but she changed her number. Katrina pressed the Facebook app on her phone. She tried to find Saura’s name but it wasn’t online. She searched only to find her profile was no longer there. She sent her an e-mail.
How could you do this to me, to us!
Katrina threw her phone and it shattered against the wall. She felt the room spinning. Katrina fell to her knees. She tried to stop it, but she couldn’t control the emotions that were taking over her. She broke as tears began to roll. She cried, holding herself and rocking back and forth. Without any notice Saura had made the decision for them, and it was the one decision Katrina was not willing to consider. She was gone, and Katrina knew there was nothing she could do about it.
Willow woke up to find Piper lying on her sofa. She forgot that Piper had a key to her apartment. She decided to get back into her routine by going for her morning run. The ground was moist, obviously from an early morning rain. She jogged to the park stopping for a brief moment to stretch and catch her breath. The park in the morning was one of her favorite places. Nannies sat on benches while watching the children playing on the play set. Other men and women jogged around the path of the small neighborhood park.
Willow didn’t know what was next for her besides cleaning her apartment. She knew finding the one was going to be harder than expected, especially being surrounded by the same lesbians she’d seen a million times already. Willow loved Piper but she knew she had to expand her social circle. Maybe she should start attending some of the higher society events that her father always urged her to attend. Willow just didn’t see herself in that world, even though she grew up in it.
A woman in a beautiful flowing dress caught her attention. Willow admired the print on the skirt. Three designs flashed in her mind that she could create using the same pink floral print. The artist in her was now trying to break through the barriers of uncertainty that she had built up. As she studied the cut and design of the dress the itch to design was settling in her.
Willow couldn’t deny the fact that she loved fashion and not at least trying to pursue her dream of a career in fashion sounded like a bad idea. The only thing that could stop her from opening her store was her own fears. She knew Piper loved stealing her original creations for her own personal wardrobe, but did that mean other people would want to wear her clothes?
Willow stopped at Starbucks and grabbed two lattes before heading back to her home. She opened the door and found Piper still knocked out. Willow sat on her coffee table and held one of the cups up next to Piper’s face. It only took a second for Piper to smell the amazing aroma and wake up.
“Hello, honey,” Piper said taking the cup from Willow.
“I just want to thank you for the smashing job you did dusting around this place.” Willow ran her finger over the lamp sitting on the coffee table next to the couch. She held the dirty finger up.
“I got all your mail at least.” Piper flashed her pearly whites.
Willow joined Piper on her couch. “So you didn’t go home with Corrie I see.” Willow sipped her latte.
Piper rolled her eyes. “I am so over her. Do you know she actually has a girlfriend now but was still trying to go home with me? Fucking hell if I did. I am so over her and her bullshit. Moving on, how are you, babes? How does it feel to be back in the big city?”
Willow shrugged her shoulders.
“Well there is a big party tonight at Heaven. Word on the street is that Gaga is going to do a surprise show, or maybe it was Madonna? Who cares, it going to be huge.”
Willow stood up. “Yeah, the idea of spending the night dancing with a bunch of gay men doesn’t sound appealing to me.”
“There will be tons of girls there, too, you know. Time to get you back out in the dating world.” Piper flung one of her long legs in the air. “Get someone in between those legs.”
“Can you put that down?” Willow said as she pushed Piper’s leg down.
“Seriously, girl, you have had some hard times. I want to see you have some fun.”
Willow sat back down on the couch. “Hey, Pipe, have you ever been to America?”
Piper frowned. “Once with my family; we went to New York. I don’t know why people get so excited over that place. It felt like here except with bad accents and ugly cabs. Why do you ask?”
“I feel like I’m torn. On one hand I really want to get into designing again,” Willow said watching Piper’s eyes brighten at the thought of new clothes for her to wear. “But on the other hand I want to experience something new. Hey how about we do it like we used to and hit a place for the weekend? Let’s go to Paris or something.”
Piper ran her hand through her long hair. “As great as that sounds I have a small problem. I have a job to go to.”
“What?” Willow was shocked.
“My fucking parents are on this whole grownup kick and threatened to cut me off if I didn’t start working at my father’s stupid office. I spend my days in ugly heels fetching coffee like a bloody servant.”
Willow couldn’t believe her ears. She listened to Piper talk about working at her father’s doctor’s office. Her father was one of the best plastic surgeons in London who only did work for high-paying clients. Piper complained about the work, but couldn’t help but love the idea of seeing all the famous people who came in for consultations or to get work done. Willow realized quickly that if Piper had a job it really meant it was time for her to figure her life out.
The two finished catching up before Piper had to leave to go get ready for work. Willow promised to think about going to Heaven. The club was the biggest gay club in London, and she hadn’t been since way before her father got sick.
Willow closed the door behind her friend. She pulled out the only cleaning products she had in the house. She turned on a music station on her television and started cleaning. Two hours later her home was dust and dirt free and she was exhausted.
Willow opened her MacBook to check her e-mail. She didn’t realize how long it had been since she checked e-mails. She had messages from old fashion school classmates and even one from a professor. She responded to all the messages and began looking at photos from Paris fashion week. On the side of one of the Web sites she was browsing she noticed an ad for a travel company. She clicked on the ad to see various exotic locations listed. There were so many places she could go.
The woman from the park crossed her mind. Willow opened her design software on her computer. She began to sketch a skirt on a woman’s figure that came on the program. In moments she had redesigned the dress the woman was wearing, giving it a romantic but edgy feel.
Willow walked into her office. Rolls of fabric sat on the side next to two body forms with fabric pinned to them. Her sewing machine still had the orange thread that was in it from the last dress she created. She remembered that Piper quickly took the dress to wear to a party and got tons of compliments on it.
Willow studied a few of the sketches she had posted on her project board. She admired the fact that the things she created almost a year ago were still fashionable today. She picked out a sketch of a purple dress and decided that would be her first creation. There would be time for travel, but now it was time to work.
Chapter 3
“I knew that bitch wasn’t shit,” Teri said as she closed the door on Devon’s Lexus.
“Can you not do that now? We have to be there for our friend. No bashing,” Devon argued as she pushed her keyless entry.
The friends walked up the driveway of Katrina’s house. She had bought her grandmother’s house, which was in Whitehaven, one of the many neighborhoods of Memphis. Devon joked about Katrina living in the hood, but the truth was the part of neighborhood that Katrina lived in still was home to many well-off fami
lies. However, if you went down a few streets you would be surrounded by hair supply stores and chicken wing restaurants.
They could hear music coming from inside the house. Teri rang the doorbell again but got no answer. Devon called Katrina’s phone, which instantly went to voicemail.
“I know she’s in there; her car is in the garage,” Devon declared, pointing at the open garage. “Maybe we should just come back.”
“Fuck that,” Teri hissed as she pulled her keys out of her pocket, fidgeting through the gold and silver keys on the ring until finding Katrina’s spare key.
Teri opened the door and the two walked in.
“Tree,” Devon yelled out. “Can you come out here?”
Both stood in the doorway not wanting to intrude too much.
“Bitch, either come out or we are coming in,” Teri yelled while dropping her keys on the coffee table. The two women walked to the back of the dark house.
Katrina’s door was cracked. The music grew louder and louder as the two walked closer to the bedroom. Teri pushed the door open to find Katrina lying on her back in her bed. She turned the light on while Devon turned down the music.
“You know when a person doesn’t answer that usually means they are busy or they don’t want to be bothered.” Katrina mumbled without looking away from the ceiling.
“Yeah, well that’s when you don’t have friends to come and check on you.” Teri plopped down on the edge of the bed. Katrina still didn’t move.
“Saura called me,” Devon mumbled. “Are you okay?”
Katrina sat up. “So she called you? Funny that she can call you but didn’t have the common courtesy to call her girlfriend. Or should I say ex-girlfriend. Do you have her new number?”
Devon shook her head. “She called from a blocked number. I didn’t even speak to her. She left a voicemail telling me that she had made it to Los Angeles and what happened. Tree. I’m so sorry.”
Katrina got out of the bed. She started pacing the floor. “Don’t be sorry, I’m not. Obviously she did what she felt she needed to do. Fuck me and my feelings. Fuck the fact that I was going to be fucking hurting over this shit. Fuck it! Fuck her ’cause she completely fucked me!”
Katrina threw her hand over her dresser knocking all her bottles and belongings on the floor. The action caused Devon and Teri to jump.
“Whoa, dude, chill out. Yeah, what she did was fucked up but there’s no reason to fuck up your stuff because of what she did.” Teri jumped up and started picking the expensive bottles of cologne and things off of the floor.
Katrina fell back on her bed. Her head was spinning again. She buried her face into her hands. She didn’t want her friends to see her cry, but she couldn’t help it. “I fucking loved her. I gave her my all. I didn’t deserve this shit!”
Devon sat next to Katrina. She put her arm around her hurting friend. “Katrina, I know it’s hard to understand but I think that Saura did what she thought was going to be best. You know you weren’t going to make it easy for her to go. And I think she thought this might be the best way for both of you.”
Katrina didn’t want to think rationally. She was in too much pain. “She was my world,” Katrina muttered. “My all. I have nothing anymore.”
“Ugh.” Teri let out a moan that caused both women to look at her. “Look I’m sorry but I can’t sit here and listen to this bullshit. Katrina, yes, you are hurting, yes, the woman you loved might have left. But you aren’t going to sit here and act like she was all you have. Dude, Saura did what she felt was best, for both of you. Maybe she was wrong for her actions, but in the end you and I both know you weren’t going to let her leave. May be you need to take a page from Saura’s handbook and start focusing on yourself for a change. It’s been a week; you still have on the same fucking clothes you had on when we went biking.”
Katrina looked down at her athletic attire. She hadn’t changed. The only things she had done for a week were go to the bathroom, eat, and drink.
“This isn’t the end of the world, Tree,” Devon added. “I know it might seem like it but think about it like this. This wasn’t a bad breakup. She didn’t cheat on you or something. This might not be the end. Maybe you both need this time apart to see if it is really what you want.”
“All I want is Saura.” Katrina sighed.
“Well what better way to get over this than going on your trip to Europe?” Devon smiled.
“Yeah, do you know how many fine-ass girls there are in Europe? Oh and think of the accents.”
“Have your Eat, Pray, Love moment,” Devon joked.
Katrina thought about what her friends were saying. If she had to get over her girl at least she wouldn’t have to be in her house with all the memories haunting her every day. Katrina took a deep breath; she exhaled the negativity she had been harboring for Saura. She knew deep down that Saura only did what she did to protect them both. Although flawed, she knew she would have to get over her anger at some point; she just didn’t know when that day would be.
Katrina walked her friends out. They were only willing to leave after they felt she was cheered up enough. She walked back in her empty house. She wondered would it ever feel like home again. Katrina noticed that one of the photos on the wall was missing. Obviously Saura had taken her favorite photo of them.
The house phone startled Katrina as it started to ring. The phone never rang and they only kept it because they had bad cell service in certain parts of the house. Katrina looked at the caller ID; it was an unknown number. Katrina’s heart started to race. She picked up the phone and pressed talk.
“Katrina.”
The voice sent chills down her spine. “Saura.” Katrina fought to hold back all emotion.
“I’m sorry, Katrina. I know you are mad at me.”
“Saura, why? We didn’t even have a good-bye.”
Saura wiped the tears falling from her eyes. “We did, the night before that last night we had. I didn’t want to have a sad good-bye. If I would have stayed I don’t think I would have been able to leave.”
“That is incredibly selfish of you, Saura. Maybe I needed more. I wanted to have our last hug, our last kiss, and you robbed me of that.”
“I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day.”
Katrina wanted to yell and scream but she was too exhausted to do so. She didn’t want to end on a bad note. Maybe if she left on good terms Saura would realize she belonged in Memphis with her. “I am hurt, but I will get over it. I want you to be happy, Saura.”
“I want you to be happy too. You have no idea how much I want you to be happy.” Saura tried to smile but couldn’t.
There was a moment of silence as they both thought about what to say next.
“I love you, Saura. I wish you nothing but the best.” Katrina couldn’t believe she was able to say it.
Suddenly things didn’t feel so bad. It was as if an anchor had been lifted off of her. She realized she actually meant it. Saura was the love of her life, and sometimes when you loved something you had to let it go. Saura didn’t have a new number yet but she let Katrina know she unblocked her Facebook.
The two began to talk about Saura and the house. She was living in a house with seven other girls. Saura joked that it felt like she was on some reality show with a bunch of women all trying to do the same thing. Saura had met her agent who told her about jobs she submitted Saura for. Katrina couldn’t help but notice the excitement in Saura’s voice; she could tell she really was where she needed to be.
“I’m still going to Europe.” Katrina cut Saura off while she was talking about one of the women in the house.
“That’s great, you should still go.” Saura shook her head trying to convince herself that she meant what she said.
“Yeah, I am going to go alone. I think I could use the time to myself.”
There was another pause on the phone. Saura didn’t know how she wanted to feel. The jealous girlfriend in her wanted to ask if Katrina planned on getting with any
one while she was there, but she knew she no longer had the right to ask those types of questions.
“I am sure you are going to have an amazing time. Take lots of pictures and eat lots of food.” Saura struggled to keep her voice from trembling too much.
“I will.”
The two hung up with each other. Katrina felt a sense of relief. She knew it would take time, but she knew time would heal all wounds. She didn’t have time to focus on the sadness. She had a trip to prepare for.
Teri sat on her couch. She knew the time had come to cut Porsha off. Her usual cutoff lines didn’t seem appropriate. Porsha hadn’t done anything wrong. She never asked for money, or tried to show her off to her friends. She didn’t have an advanced degree, but she was smart and out of all the women she had talked to, Porsha actually seemed like she might try to make something of herself one day.
Teri thought about Katrina. She and Saura were joined at the hip from the moment they met. She was surprised it lasted two years. Porsha was getting too comfortable in her house. She had to shut it down.
Teri couldn’t think of anything to say. She didn’t want the headache of answering a million questions as to why she didn’t want to be with her anymore. She picked up her phone and pressed Porsha’s name. Instead of pressing the phone button she pressed the little envelope on the phone.
Please don’t be mad but I can’t do this anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. I can’t explain. I wish you luck in all your future endeavors. Teri
Teri pressed the send button, immediately regretting the decision to send a text instead of calling. Within seconds her phone rang. She pressed the ignore button only to have the phone ring back to back three times. On the final call her voicemail alert chimed. Teri didn’t want to listen to it. Her phone chimed again as a text message came through.
