‘No, and for the record, he’s not my Alain,’ Belinda answered.
‘Judging from the way he looks at you, I think he could be,’ Chloe said.
‘Don’t be daft. He’s just a very good friend.’ Belinda took a drink of her wine, wondering if that was the whole truth. He’d certainly got under her skin in a good way recently. ‘What I need to talk to you about is granny and granddad. Anouk, Fern’s ma-in-law, has lived here all her life and was able to tell me the truth about their break-up all those years ago.’
‘One or both of them had an affair has always been my guess,’ Chloe said, reaching for a handful of crisps.
‘It’s not quite as straightforward as that.’ Belinda took a deep breath. ‘They were never actually married. And the reason for that was because granddad already had a wife when he met my mum. A wife who had left him six years earlier.’
‘Why didn’t he just divorce her?’ Chloe, ever pragmatic, asked.
‘Because back in the day it wasn’t that easy and also no one had heard from her or knew where she was in all that time. So when she turned up, eighteen years after granny and grandad got together, it was a shock and caused a huge scandal. Helena told all and sundry that she was still Mrs Belrose and she had no intention of divorcing.’
‘Poor Granny. No wonder she was so bitter.’
‘It explains a lot,’ Belinda said. ‘I wish though she’d told me the truth years ago.’ She helped herself to a few crisps, glancing at Chloe as she did. ‘The other thing I have to tell you is that Granddad is here in Brittany and still alive. Very ill but alive.’
‘Seriously?’ Chloe gave a shocked gasp. ‘He’s here in Brittany? Are you going to see him?’
‘He’s been living in my old family home with his wife but a few days ago he was moved into a hospice where I’ve already been to see him. Nobody can say how long he has to live, could be a few days or a couple of weeks.’ To her own ears, the words sounded automatic, unemotional, when the truth was she felt like a limp rag from all the emotion of the past few days.
‘Can I see him? Meet him at least once?’ Chloe asked quietly.
‘I’ve shown him a photo of you and the twins and I’ve promised him, if the doctor allows it, I will take you to see him.’
‘Thanks.’
The two of them sat silently for several moments, both lost in their own thoughts, before Belinda spoke again.
‘I thought maybe one day while you’re here we could go for a drive around. You said once I’d never told you about where I grew up.’
‘Yes, I’d like that.’ Chloe stifled a yawn.
Belinda stood up. ‘I’ll leave you to go to bed. I guess the twins will wake early as usual?’
‘Oh yes. Six thirty, if I’m lucky,’ Chloe said.
‘I’ll walk down with breakfast croissants for you in the morning. Sleep well.’
‘Thanks, Mum. See you tomorrow then.’
Walking back through the campsite, Belinda passed a few people sitting outside their caravans enjoying the lengthening shadows and the bats that were flitting around. Too early for the owls to be calling, but Belinda knew she’d hear them later on. It was a sound she loved and one she’d miss when she left.
Alain was sitting out on the terrace reading when she got back to the cottage. ‘Chloe settled in all right?’
Belinda nodded. ‘Twins are fast asleep too.’ She sank down on the chair next to him. ‘You done your last patrol?’
Alain nodded. ‘Oui. You like a nightcap?’
‘One of your hot chocolates? Mmm, please. That would be lovely.’
Alain disappeared to the kitchen and Belinda closed her eyes. It seemed only seconds before he was back with two mugs of hot chocolate, one of which he handed Belinda.
‘Thank you. And thank you for clearing up after supper.’ Belinda smiled at him before taking an appreciative sip of her drink. ‘Any idea what the forecast is for the next few days?’
‘Cloudy with sunshine.’
‘I’ve promised I’ll give Chloe a short guided tour of where I grew up while she’s here.’
‘It is a good thing for you to do?’ Alain asked. ‘It won’t upset you?’
‘No, I don’t think it will,’ Belinda said thoughtfully. ‘Having the twins with us will ensure that the memories don’t get out of hand.’
42
The next morning when Belinda collected a bag of croissants from the shop and walked down to the cabin, the twins were already outside playing ball with Bernie, while Chloe watched. Belinda called out her usual Breton greeting to Bernie and he waved at her.
‘I tried my schoolgirl French out, but I’m not sure he totally understood me,’ Chloe said. ‘He seems a lovely man.’
‘He is, but he only speaks Breton, although I know he does understand some basic French.’
Five minutes later, coffee had been made and the croissants distributed, with a happy Bernie accepting one and sitting down at his own table in the next garden, where the twins and BB promptly joined him.
‘Anything special you want to do today?’ Belinda asked.
Chloe shook her head. ‘I think a quiet day here ambling around. Maybe a picnic lunch down by the river on that bit of sandy beach? I’ve brought several of their favourite toys, so the twins will be happy playing here in the cabin’s garden. I’ll go for a walk with them later, find those tree swings again. I just want to relax really while I’m here. Do nothing for a few days.’
‘Are you sure? I had lots of places lined up for a visit,’ Belinda said.
‘Quite sure. It’s lovely here and, to be honest, the thought of dragging the twins around to see the sights…’ Chloe gave a mock shudder.
‘I suppose they are a bit young to do the touristy thing. But we must have one day out at least,’ Belinda said. ‘If only to go to one of the local markets.’
‘Yes, I’d like that. Otherwise I’d rather spend some time here all together, although I would like to see where you grew up and visit the hospice, but right now I’m happy just to relax here with you.’
And so, for the next few days, they stayed on the campsite playing with the twins and having some mother and daughter bonding time. Thoughts of her father were never far away from Belinda’s mind and she wondered about visiting again, taking Chloe with her. She rang the hospice every day when the nurse merely told her there was no real change and yes, his wife was there often. When the twins had their afternoon naps, Belinda caught up with office work. Alain joined them for meals and both he and Bernie played ball with them. Fern and Anouk came for lunch one day. On the fourth day, the hospice rang.
Belinda took the call when they were down by the river with a picnic tea. As soon as she realised who was calling, she wandered a little away upriver for some privacy, in case it was bad news. After the call ended, Belinda walked slowly back to the others.
Chloe looked at her anxiously. ‘Granddad?’
Belinda nodded. ‘The nurse rang to say if you hoped to see him while he’s well enough to receive visitors we should try and visit within the next twenty-four hours. I said we’d go tomorrow morning.’ She tried to not let Chloe see how emotional she felt at the thought of what would probably be the last visit.
Alain, when she told him about the phone call later, immediately said he’d take them. ‘The twins also. I look after them.’
‘I was going to ask Fern if she and Anouk would mind babysitting them,’ Belinda said.
Alain shook his head. ‘It will be a short visit, I think. I look after them. We take my car and leave at nine o’clock. D’accord?’
‘Thank you,’ Belinda said.
The next day, once the twins’ safety seats, as well as their buggy, had been transferred to Alain’s 4 x 4 and BB had been handed over to Bernie, they left for the hospice. Chloe, in the back with the twins, quietly reading them their favourite story. Belinda, sitting in the front next to Alain, wondered whether Enzo would be compos mentis enough to know they were there, or whether the drugs would have dulle
d his mind too much.
Less than an hour later, she was surprised when Alain turned into the hospice grounds. The quiet journey had passed quicker than she’d expected.
Alain parked and turned the engine off. ‘Right. You two, go. The twins and I will walk while we wait.’ He touched Belinda’s arm gently. ‘I hope it is not too difficult for you.’
Belinda gave him a wan smile before she and Chloe got out of the car and walked towards the hospice. Belinda, relieved to see the nurse she knew in the foyer, went straight over to her.
‘Ah, Mrs Marshall, and your daughter. Enzo is more disorientated today than the day you saw him. I think perhaps one person at a time standing by his bedside. If you come first to see him, I’ll fetch her afterwards.’
Belinda nodded and followed her as Chloe went to sit on one of the chairs in the waiting area.
The nurse stayed at the back of the room as Belinda went to stand by the side of her father’s bed and gently took his hand in hers. ‘Dad, it’s me Belinda.’
At her words, his eyes opened briefly and she felt a slight squeeze of her hand before his eyes closed again and he drifted away. Belinda bit her lip as she looked at him. He was definitely weaker today.
The nurse touched her arm. ‘I’ll fetch your daughter.’
Belinda glanced at her and nodded. She sensed that her father was struggling to cope with any interaction. She didn’t want to tire him out. Better to cut her time with him short so that he could meet Chloe.
‘Dad, Chloe, your granddaughter, has come with me today. The nurse will bring her to you.’ She bent and kissed him gently on the forehead. ‘Bye, Dad. God bless.’ Instinct told her she was unlikely to see him again.
Belinda turned as the nurse ushered Chloe into the room and spoke quietly to her.
‘Your granddad is heavily sedated and he’s drifting in and out of consciousness. Hold his hand as you talk to him quietly, tell him who you are, but don’t expect a huge response, if any. Your mother and I will stay at the back of the room. Are you comfortable with that?’ Chloe nodded and walked slowly towards her grandfather.
Standing at the back of the room, watching Chloe as she carefully picked up her grandfather’s hand and gently stroked it, Belinda bit her lip. If only the two of them could have known each other properly.
‘I know you don’t know me, but I’m Chloe, your granddaughter.’ Chloe’s voice, filled with emotion, was barely audible. Belinda could tell she was struggling to hold back the tears.
Several seconds passed as she stood there, looking down at him before Enzo’s eyes fluttered open and he saw his granddaughter for the first time.
‘Hello, ma petite, thank you for coming. You look like my Jean,’ he whispered, giving her a weak smile before his eyes closed again.
Chloe stayed where she was for several more moments, but Enzo didn’t open his eyes again, and she glanced towards Belinda and the nurse.
It was the nurse who moved forward. ‘I think it best if we leave him to sleep,’ and she ushered them out of the room.
Chloe frantically searched for a tissue in her bag as the tears started to fall.
The nurse gave her a sympathetic glance. ‘I know it’s been hard for the two of you, but I think Enzo will pass the happier for seeing you both.’
Belinda exhaled a deep breath. ‘He won’t be alone will he when… the time comes.’
The nurse shook his head. ‘No. I promise someone will be with him. His wife is planning on spending the next few nights here.’
‘And you’ll let me know?’
The nurse nodded. ‘Of course. Goodbye.’
As they left the hospice building, a woman leaning heavily on a cane and walking with difficulty, her eyes downcast watching every step she took, was about to enter. Belinda politely held the door open for her and both she and Chloe stood to one side.
The woman lifted her head to look at them and mutter ‘Merci’ as she drew level. The thank you died on her lips as she faltered and looked at Belinda before visibly pulling herself together and moving forward again.
Belinda stared after her. She didn’t need the confirmation of hearing the nurse greet the woman with the words, ‘How are you today, Madame Belrose?’ She’d known the moment the two of them had locked eyes seconds ago it was her father’s wife.
43
‘Are you all right?’ Chloe asked, looking at Belinda through her still glistening eyes. ‘You’ve gone pale, like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘Not a ghost exactly. That woman who just passed? That was Helena. I sort of realised it before I heard the nurse call her Madame Belrose. She doesn’t look too healthy herself.’
‘What?’ Chloe looked back towards the hospice. ‘It was? Do you want to go and… not sure what, talk to her maybe?’
Belinda shook her head.
‘It’s best left. I wouldn’t know what to say to her, to be honest. Ah, good. Here’s Alain and the twins. Did they behave?’
Alain nodded. ‘Yes. I bribed them with promises of treats. How was Enzo?’ he asked gently.
‘Not good. It was emotional, to say the least,’ Belinda said. ‘Helena arrived too as we were leaving. I dread to think what would have happened if we’d still been in Dad’s room.’ She took a deep breath. ‘You all right, Chloe? I’m sorry it was all a bit of an anticlimax with Granddad being so sleepy with the drugs.’
‘I’m glad we came though,’ Chloe said.
‘Come on then, let’s get the twins in the car and get going,’ Belinda said, feeling a sudden need to be as far away as possible from the hospice.
Alain drove out onto the main road, turned right and before long they were bowling along the dual carriageway in a homeward direction. When twenty kilometres later he indicated and took off along a slip road, Belinda glanced at him.
‘Not going straight back to the campsite?’
‘I promised Charlie and Aimee a surprise and this is the way,’ Alain answered. ‘We don’t ’ave the need to rush back. Marie is in the office, Bernie has BB, Fern is at the café for deliveries. We ’ave some hours free. Une petite diversion.’
Five minutes later as they passed an official destination board on the side of the road, Belinda realised where they were heading. ‘We’re going to Lac de Guerlédan, aren’t we?’
Alain nodded. ‘You like?’
‘It will be interesting to see it again,’ Belinda said quietly. ‘It’s bound to have changed in the last thirty-five years. I remember trekking round it with the school on an environmental trip. Lots of trees and wild flowers.’
‘These days, it’s popular with tourists. This time of year, not so busy,’ Alain explained. ‘Lots of space everywhere.’
The lake was glistening in the midday sunshine as Alain parked in a gravelled area near a restaurant with picnic tables overlooking the lake.
‘It’s beautiful,’ Chloe said, taking her sunglasses out of her bag and slipping them on.
Alain quickly found a table for them, ordered three coffees and a couple of soft drinks for Charlie and Aimee. ‘We ’ave lunch here, oui?’ he said. ‘I promise the twins frites and ’ere they are très bons.’
‘Sounds like a plan,’ Belinda said, grateful that Alain had taken charge. She suddenly felt tired and incapable of making any rational decisions. Coffee and food were definitely needed.
Alain looked at Chloe. ‘I think today is not a day for lingering at lunch. I order frites and chicken goujons for us all? With salad for three and half a carafe of wine for you two, d’accord?’
Chloe smiled at him. ‘You’re right. The twins will want to be off playing as soon they’ve eaten. Thanks. Chicken goujons will be great.’
Sitting there in the sunshine watching the activity on the lake as she drank her coffee, Belinda tried to address the emotional feelings that had been threatening to swamp her since leaving the hospice. Feelings of guilt for not returning immediately to Brittany like her mother had urged were mixed in with anger at the way in which her relationship
with her father had been torn apart.
The sane part of her brain wanted to believe nothing that had happened in the past was her fault, that she couldn’t be blamed for the actions of her parents. But another part screamed ‘you’re feeble and pathetic’ into her conscience for not facing up to things years ago when it would have been possible for her, if not her mum, to heal the rift with her dad. It added up to one indisputable thing. She could have had a relationship with her father if she’d been brave enough. There was no hope of rekindling her relationship with him now, as much as she would have liked to – a fact which made her feel bereft. Belinda smothered a sigh. Somehow she was going to have to learn to live with the knowledge that she’d simply given up on him all those years ago. And that realisation hurt. She’d failed someone who had once been the world to her.
Their food arrived at that moment, along with the half carafe of wine and while Alain tucked in and Chloe made sure the twins could manage before starting her own meal, Belinda quickly poured Chloe and herself a glass. ‘Santé,’ she said, raising her glass before taking a mouthful. When she did pick up her cutlery, she discovered the frites and goujons of chicken were delicious and that she was in fact hungry.
Charlie and Aimee ate all their chips and most of the chicken pieces before starting to fidget while the grown-ups finished their meals. While Alain went to the bar to pay, Chloe took the twins to the toilet and Belinda wandered down onto the path to wait for everyone. When Alain joined her, she smiled at him.
‘Thank you. I’ll settle up with you later for the meals.’
‘Non. My treat. Are you okay? The visit today, it upset you?’
Belinda nodded. ‘But I’m better now. Here come Chloe and the twins.’
Alain held out his hands to Charlie and Aimee and they both ran and grabbed a hand. ‘Ice cream time,’ he said. ‘But first we ’ave to walk a little way to the best ice cream shop.’
Watching him walk along the path, a twin on either side holding his hand, Belinda smiled. The campsite visits he planned for disadvantaged children would be a huge success because he seemed to know instinctively how to deal with them and what they needed. What the twins needed right now apparently was a large ice cream cone covered in sparkles and, reaching the beach shop, they joined the queue to buy them.
A French Affair Page 22
