by Lexi Blake
Ian’s eyes narrowed as his wife strode off toward the break room. “Handle her, Murdoch. Any way you can and keep it the fuck down. I still haven’t heard back from Ten.”
He felt Phoebe’s whole body go stiff at the mention of Ten’s name. “I still think she works for him.”
“Ten knows when a game is up. He would have told me.”
“Or he would just burn her,” Adam mused.
That was a more reasonable explanation, but Ian seemed unconcerned. He strode off after his wife and Adam sighed a little and then followed them.
No one was going to save Phoebe from him. No one would try to come between them. Satisfaction settled in his gut. At least his brothers recognized he had a claim on her.
“Jesse, you should let me go. I’m not a threat to you.” She sounded so reasonable. “Honestly, I’m not a threat at all, but you are still in danger. If you let me go, I’ll tell you what I can.”
So she still thought he was an idiot. He walked down the hall and opened the door to his office. He slammed it behind and locked the door. The office was full of well-meaning busybodies, and he wasn’t about to be interrupted.
He set her down and then took a deep breath.
She leaned against his desk, needing it to balance her. Her manicured fingers gripped the edge of the desk, tension throughout her body. “Can we talk?”
“Who do you work for?”
“I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that someone sent me that kill order and they won’t just shrug and walk away. You’re in danger, Jesse.”
At least they’d gotten past one thing. “So you’re dropping the whole ‘I’m just an accountant’ act?”
“I am an accountant,” she replied beseechingly. “I have a degree from Georgetown. Not everything I said was a lie.”
Just the little things. “Oh, I think it’s safe to say you lied enough. What’s your name? I think I should know the name of the woman who made me a fool.”
She flushed. “I didn’t, Jesse. Damn it. It wasn’t like that. And my name is Phoebe. You know it’s easier to work with something similar. A partial truth is easier to sell than a lie.”
“Yeah, well, the partial part is the one that hurt. Did you have to pretend to like me?”
“I wasn’t pretending. I do like you.”
“That’s something I can test, you know.” He was feeling a little cruel. He didn’t like it, but that didn’t seem to matter.
“Jesse, I can’t make you believe me. I can only tell you that I’m sorry you got hurt in all of this.”
“You’re sorry? I chase after you for months and you lead me on and you’re sorry. That’s good to know. Did you bug my house?”
She nodded slowly.
“So that’s why you agreed to come over.”
“The first time, yes.”
Humiliation burned through him when he realized all the things she would have heard. “Audio or video?”
She bit her bottom lip before replying. “Both.”
How she must have laughed at him. He did a lot of stupid things when he thought he was alone. One in particular made his blood pressure tick up. “Did you like the show? Did you like how I would grip my own dick and call out your name when I came?”
Her face went white as a sheet. “I didn’t watch it. I didn’t know. God, Jesse. I didn’t get the feed. It went to my boss and he’s never mentioned it. He never would. He’s not like that, Jesse. He’s a good man.”
“Sure he is.” Now he had to wonder just how close to this boss of hers she was. “I’m sure he’s a great man.”
She tried to stand, but stumbled, her bound feet a burden. He cursed under his breath and caught her so she didn’t hit the floor.
The minute she was in his arms, his dick tightened again. He couldn’t be around her and not want her. He’d wanted her when she was quiet and shy and he definitely wanted the Phoebe who told Ian he was stupid and told Charlotte off. Both times she’d been defending him. Had she figured him out so easily? Had she discovered that someone standing up for him made him soft? That a woman doing it flipped his switch hard?
She held on to his arms as he sat her on the desk. Her eyes stared up at him. Dark eyes that sometimes lit up when he walked in a room. She was that good at her job. She’d sometimes made him feel like the only man in the world. She’d managed to do it while she held him off sexually, so she was practically a spy goddess.
Maybe two could play at that game. He would love nothing more than to send her back to her mystery lover a little less pure. And if that man happened to be Tennessee Smith, that was all the better. He kind of hoped his office was bugged, too, and that old Ten was sitting somewhere dark with headphones on because Jesse meant to put on a show.
He got to his knees, his hands going to her ankles. He touched the skin there. “Does it hurt?”
“No, but it’s not comfortable. Jesse, I’m not going anywhere. If nothing’s happened yet, then maybe I have more time than I thought. I need to talk to Ian. I need to make him understand that you’re in danger since you don’t seem to get it.”
He was in definite danger, but he was fairly certain no one was planning on blowing him away through his office window. It was made of bulletproof glass. He reached into his pocket and came back with his knife. He carried it with him as often as he carried his SIG. He flipped the blade open and then gently sawed through the tie, releasing her right foot. He let it go and immediately leaned back because he wasn’t an idiot. She’d lied to him before. If she kicked out, he wasn’t leaving his head there to get taken off. And if she did, then he would put her on her ass and she would quickly learn he wasn’t playing things her way anymore.
She sat there, holding out her left foot. “Please? I told you, I’m not going anywhere for now. I will slip away eventually. I have to, but not until I’m certain you understand what kind of danger you’re in.”
He leaned in again and released her other leg. He closed the knife and slipped it back in his pocket before reaching for her ankle. There was a thin red line where the zip tie had chafed. “I got it too tight.”
“It was fine.” Her voice was quiet, her body utterly still as he moved his hand up to her calf.
“How much of it was a lie, Phoebe? If you already planted your bugs, why did you keep coming to my place? How many other team members have bugs? Did you babysit for Li and Avery so you could bug their place?” He ran his hand over her skin, tightening briefly and then moving on. He ran his thumbs along her muscles, up to her knees and then back to her feet.
She moaned a little before she replied. “I didn’t do that. I was only watching you, Jesse.”
Because he was the only one the US government thought might be working with jihadists. He was the only soldier they thought had been turned and twisted. There was even a part of him that understood, but it was buried under her betrayal. He could have handled it coming from anyone but her. There had been a time when he would have willingly opened himself up in an attempt to prove he was still faithful, but that time was past.
He wasn’t a soldier anymore. He was Ian’s man and Big Tag had asked him to find out who Phoebe was working for. He was going to do it.
“I get it. You wanted to watch me so you could find out if I had any contact with operatives in the Middle East.” So smooth. So reasonable. He sounded like he really understood. He let his hand drift further up this time before coming back down to her feet. “Flex them for me. I want to make sure you didn’t lose circulation.”
“Jesse, I know you’re not in touch with anyone from that time.” She flexed her foot like a good girl, her voice tentative as though she wasn’t sure what to make of him. “I’ve watched you very carefully. I know you’re not involved in anything.”
Good. He wanted to keep her off balance. “Did you have to play me the way you did? I would have just been your friend.”
Honesty. She was right. A kernel of truth was always good when playing the spy game. It was something he’d
had to learn the hard way. He’d always viewed himself as muscle, but maybe he could change. Maybe he could be more than the guy who took the first bullet.
She leaned over, her hands finding his hair as she forced him to look up at her. “It wasn’t like that. Not in the end. Li and Charlotte are right. I came to care about all of you. I got a little lost here. I liked who I was when I was around you. I just liked being with you.”
He stood and it wasn’t lost on him how close they were or how she’d been forced to move her legs apart to accommodate him. He didn’t give her any space. “I liked being with you, too, but you always put me off. I thought you wanted me to kiss you at first. The chemistry was there. It was there from the moment I saw you. Do you know what I wanted to do to you the first time I saw you?”
She shook her head.
“I wanted to eat you up. I saw you standing there that first day I came to McKay-Taggart and you were wearing a yellow dress and that little white sweater and I thought you looked like sunshine. I cornered McKay and asked if you had a boyfriend. That was the first day I brought you coffee, but what I really wanted to do was get my hands on you.” Definitely no lies there. He’d thought he’d seen pure sweetness. He’d wanted to cuddle her and kiss her and take care of her. He thought he’d found someone who needed him.
He still wanted to eat her up.
“That’s not a good idea.” The words came out on a breathy sigh, and he couldn’t miss how her nipples were hard against the filmy material of the dress she was wearing.
“No. It’s not, but then I’m not known for being an idea man. I have to follow through on the ones I do have.” He lowered his mouth to hers and hoped he could remember he was a man on a mission.
CHAPTER FOUR
Phoebe was pretty sure she couldn’t breathe. He was so close, his lips hovering over hers. All it would take to push him away or draw him closer was a simple raising of her hands, but she was caught. She knew what was right. Push him away. Don’t let this happen. Don’t let the last man to seriously kiss you not be James. Don’t.
But another voice seemed even louder in her head as he slowly moved toward her. Bring him in. God, don’t you want to know how it feels to have this man kiss you? Don’t you want his hands on you? Don’t you want to show him how worthy he is? Of love, of affection, of protection.
One kiss. Just one. Soon she wouldn’t see him. He would be as lost to her as Jamie was, and shouldn’t she have this one kiss?
His lips touched hers and she was through with arguing.
He’d kissed her before but it had been an awkward thing. He’d been tentative and given her too much time to think. Jamie had inevitably come between them, but this was different. His hands came up and caught her face, holding her still for his long, slow discovery. The word stuck in her head as he moved his mouth across hers. Discovery. Something new and fresh. Something with potential.
She was discovering him.
Her hands came up as though drawn to his body. She found his lean waist and did what came naturally. She explored over the soft cotton of his T-shirt as he caught her bottom lip between his teeth and gave her the gentlest nip. She shivered, though it wasn’t from the cold. Her body was hot, but then she was always warm around him.
His tongue demanded entry and she opened her mouth, feeling his triumph as he surged inside. He moved closer, placing himself firmly between her legs and letting her feel everything he had to offer.
His cock. Oh, god, that was his cock rubbing against her core. Her skirt had pushed up, and she could feel the denim of his jeans on her thighs. He moved in, spreading her legs further as his tongue glided along hers. Her body was melting. So long. It had been so damn long since she’d felt this electricity running in her veins.
“I told you I wanted to eat you up. Sweet. I knew you’d be so damn sweet.” The words rumbled along her lips before he devoured her mouth again.
She let herself feel for the first time in forever. Feel the strength of his body under her hands, feel his heat, let her heart beat in time with his, let her mind sink into the experience.
The first time she’d seen him, she’d thought that the universe wasn’t fair to hide such a coward under pretty skin and gorgeous eyes. When he’d shown up with that coffee, she’d poured it out. She’d gone home and cried and hated Ten for sending her. Why hadn’t he let her go? She’d been happy fading away.
Slowly, she’d come to know the real Jesse Murdoch. She’d come to think of herself as protecting him, not spying.
His hand was on her waist, moving down, and she thought about all the times she’d put him off. She could have been doing this with him for months. She could have been in his arms, in his bed. In the moment, it seemed like a silly thing to have given up on.
So good. His mouth felt good and right on hers. And that big hand of his felt really good as it moved on her thigh.
Too good. “Jesse, we can’t do this here.”
He shook his head and his hand moved up again, fingers teasing at the edge of her panties. “Everyone else is busy. No one’s going to bug us. Let me in. Just a little. I’ve wanted you for so long. Just a little, baby.”
He kissed her again, stopping the weak protest she wasn’t even sure she wanted to make. She gave over to him, his tongue plunging inside as she felt his fingers close to her core. She ran her hands up the strong muscles of his back and wanted to get rid of the material between them. Skin. She wanted to run her hands over his skin and really feel his heat.
“You want me.” He whispered the words as his fingers found the folds of her pussy.
“I shouldn’t.” Doubt started to creep back in. She shouldn’t want him because she’d promised to love one man for the rest of her life.
“Your pussy says differently, baby.” He groaned a little as he slid a finger up through her soaked pussy.
Pure pleasure swamped her senses, consigning her every good intention straight to hell. This was why she’d stayed away from Jesse Murdoch, erecting wall after wall to keep them apart. She’d always known that this man could blow through her every defense if she let him.
But the thought of never seeing him again…she couldn’t fight. She had to have this one beautiful moment with him. One physical memory to go with all the good days and nights she’d spent with him.
“You’re so fucking wet for me.” One finger slid through her labia and worked its way up to her clitoris. “Do you know how many nights I dreamed of this? How many nights I lay awake and thought about getting you underneath me? I wanted you to take my cock, Phoebe, but I thought I was too rough for you. I’m not too rough for you, am I?”
“God, no.” Not even close. She needed more. He was playing with her, but it had been so damn long, she felt like she couldn’t wait. She moved her hips, trying to get him to press down harder. She was close. She could feel the orgasm shimmering right on the edge of her consciousness. Just a few hard strokes and she would come.
It had been so long since she’d come.
She felt his free hand tug on her hair, lighting up her scalp and making her gasp. It didn’t hurt exactly. It was just enough to get her attention.
His face was enough to let her know he meant business. Sweet Jesse’s face had turned hard and demanding, his sensual lips curled in the sexiest little smirk. “No, sweetheart. Do you remember when I said this was going to be my way all the way? I’ve danced to your tune since the moment I met you, but this is where I rule. You want what I can give you, you better get used to following the rules, and rule number one is you obey me. Spread your legs wider.”
This wasn’t the Jesse she knew, but she’d sensed him under the surface. When she’d thought about him at Sanctum, she’d seen him like this. In control. Masterful.
She didn’t have to think. She merely had to obey and pleasure would be given to her.
Shit. She’d been reading way too many of Serena Dean-Miles’s books. She spread her knees wide, giving him access as he brought his fingers up. They gli
stened from the arousal coating her pussy. He stared at them for a minute before sucking them into his mouth, his blue eyes rolling back in what looked like pure pleasure as he sucked them clean.
“So goddamn sweet. Behave or we’ll have trouble. I know you think I’m an idiot, but I can handle you. I can make you fucking beg for me.”
“Please, Jesse.” Her whole consciousness was focused on one thing. This moment. This man. Everything else fell away. It was so easy when he was in control.
“Yeah, baby,” he growled against her ear. “This is going to please Jesse. This is going to make me feel so much better.”
He pushed aside her panties and two fingers worked inside her pussy as his thumb found her clit.
Her vision went blissfully fuzzy as he fucked those big fingers inside and worked that sensitive pearl.
“You’re so tight. You would feel so good wrapped around me.” He worked her, taking her higher and higher.
Everything tightened as his thumb worked perfect circles around and over her clit. Closer and closer and closer until she snapped and pleasure swamped her system. A tidal wave crashed over her, and she panted as she tried to get her breath back. She let herself curl into his body. His free arm held her up or she would have been a puddle of goo on his desk.
Every muscle felt relaxed and loose. Warm. She was warm when she always felt so cold. She would be even warmer with Jesse on top of her. Now he would lay her down on the desk and bring them together finally. All that heat between them could be quenched.
God, she was going to miss him.
Jesse kissed her forehead sweetly as he drew his hand out of her pussy and straightened her soaked undies. “Baby, tell me who you work for. You can tell me.”
The words didn’t penetrate for a moment. He used a soft voice and she could almost fool herself that he was saying something sweet. “What?”
“Who do you work for, Phoebe? It’s time for you to tell me the truth.” A touch of hardness entered his tone.
