by L A Cotton
“Mya,” Cameron said. “How’s things?”
“Good thanks. You?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Asher,” I said, noticing he’d made no effort to say hello.
“Hey.” He barely looked at me.
Felicity and Jason finally broke away from one another and she shot me a ‘what’s all that about’ look. I shrugged.
“Felicity said you didn’t ride in with her again.” Jason looked at me.
“She did, did she?”
My friend’s gaze went wide, guilt swirling in her hazel eyes. “I… oops.”
“It’s no big deal.”
“The weather is getting bad out there. You can’t trust the school bus and I don’t like the idea of you walking all that way alone.”
“I… appreciate your concern.” This was too fucking weird. “But I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” Jason chuckled. “But it’s worrying my girl, so do me a solid and either ride with her or find another ride.”
“Jason!” Felicity shrieked, mouthing a silent apology at me.
“Are we hanging at yours tonight?” Jason asked Asher.
“I guess,” he grumbled.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” He pasted on an easy smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Schools almost out for the holidays and you’re acting like a little bitch.”
“You know what? Fuck you, Jase. I’m out of here.” Asher spun on his heel and stormed off down the hall.
“Nice, man, real nice.” Cameron side-eyed Jason who frowned.
“Am I missing something? Because I asked a simple question.”
“Jason,” Felicity pressed a hand against his chest. “Go easy on him. It’s been a rough few weeks and I think he was hurt we didn’t invite him the other night.”
“Hmm, you didn’t invite me either,” I spoke up.
“Well, yeah,” Felicity said. “We didn’t want you to think we were trying to push the two of you together.”
“I get it and honestly I really don’t care.” I did, a little bit. But I wouldn’t ever admit that to them. “But Asher cares. He’s gone from losing his two best friends and the girl he wanted, so yeah, cut him some slack.”
Jason growled while Felicity gasped. It was Cameron who spoke though. “You really think he’s upset?”
“He’s upset about something, and my money is on the fact he feels left out.”
“But we haven’t—”
“If you’re going to try and tell yourself you haven’t excluded him, you’re lying to yourself. And I get it, I do. But look at it through his eyes.”
The three of them stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “Okay, good talk. I’ll see you at lunch?” I asked Felicity, who nodded, her mouth still hanging open.
I hadn’t meant to defend Asher but something about the dejection etched into his expression had hit me right in the chest. He was lost all of a sudden, trying to find his new place in the world. Something I could empathize with.
But I didn’t want to have common ground with the football player with a dangerous smile. Because common ground connected us. I was pretty sure he already felt it. But if he knew I also felt it, he’d use it against me.
And I wasn’t sure I could resist his attack forever.
I didn’t purposefully search him out, but when I entered the library where I’d been hiding out for the last couple of days, there he was.
“Fancy seeing you here,” I whispered, dropping into the seat beside him.
“Needed some space and this seemed like a good bet.”
I smothered a laugh.
“What’s funny?” his eyes slid to mine in question.
“Where do you think I’ve been hiding the last two days?”
“Here?”
I nodded.
“No shit. Guess we’re more alike than you give us credit for.”
We sat there, in a secluded corner of the library, in comfortable silence. After a few minutes, I pulled out my jotter and began doodling.
“What are you doing?” Asher leaned over, his head almost touching mine as he watched me sketch.
“Nothing really. I just find it soothing.”
“You’re an artist?”
“God, no. Hailee is an artist. I just like to doodle.”
“It’s cool,” he said. “Reminds me of street art. You know, the kind kids graffiti on abandoned buildings and road signs?”
My pulse ratcheted. “I guess.”
“He taught you, didn’t he?” he asked quietly.
My eyes lifted. “How do you do that? Know what I’m thinking without me even speaking?”
“I know you, Mya, even if you think I don’t.”
The air around us crackled, thick and heavy and alive.
“Asher, I...” I swallowed over the lump in my throat.
“What’s his name?”
“Jermaine,” I croaked.
“Is it over between you and him?”
I nodded.
“Do you still love him?”
“I... yes.” A pained sigh rolled off my lips. “I think a part of me will always love him.”
“But you’re not in love with him?”
“N- no.”
Asher inched closer; so close I could feel the warmth of his breath. “I can work with that.”
His hand slid along my neck, teasing my curls. My head knew it was a bad idea; was silently screaming at me to stop him. But my heart, my battered bruised heart, craved the attention.
Craved his attention.
Asher’s lips hovered over mine, my heart crashing in my chest like a heavy base. Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom.
“I can’t wait to taste you, Mya.” His voice was thick with lust, his words laced with intention.
“Asher,” my fingers curled into his hoodie. “Kiss—”
“Mr. Bennet,” Mrs. Hegarty, the librarian boomed. “This is a library, not your own personal flirt shack.”
He sank back in the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose as he expelled a long breath.
“Ms. Hernandez, I am most surprised,” she said, as if she didn’t notice it was me as she approached us.
“Sorry, Mrs. Hegarty. It won’t happen again.”
“Yeah, sorry, Mrs. H. It was my fault, not Mya’s.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it, Mr. Bennet. Now if you’re not in here to study...” Her unamused gaze flitted to the doors behind us.
“We’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”
“Good.” She spun on her heel and disappeared behind the stacks.
“Well, that was not how I saw that going,” Asher said but I was too fixated on the librarian’s words.
“What did she mean? Your own personal flirt shack?”
“That’s what you’re taking from this?” Asher gawked at me.
“You bring girls here a lot?”
“Are you kidding me right now? You followed me here.”
“I didn’t... it doesn’t matter.” I grabbed my bag. “I should go.”
“Mya come on, we should talk about what just happened.”
“Nothing happened.” I stood up but Asher caught my hand.
“I’ll let you run, for now.” His thumb smoothed over the curve of my fingers and I suppressed a shiver. “But this thing between you and me, it’s only a matter of time.”
I walked away and didn’t look back. Even though I felt his eyes burning into me every step of the way.
Asher
“Why the fuck is your house full of people?” Jason hissed.
“Nice to see you too, man.”
“I thought it was just going to be the six of us?”
My eyes went over to where Hailee and Cameron were greeting a very confused looking Felicity. “It was, but then Dad called and said they couldn’t make it home, so... party central at your service.”
“You okay?” He eyed me carefully.
“You seem... wound up.”
“Me? I’m fine. Nothing a little shot of Tequila won’t fix. Am I right?” I hollered and the house exploded with cheers as people raised their cups and beers, fist pumping the air like they were at a Black Hearts Still Beat concert.
“You could have given us a heads up. I’d rather not entertain the masses tonight.”
“You’re still pissed about the exhibition game?”
“I just thought it was going to be low key. The three of us and the girls.” His eyes flicked over to where Flick stood.
“Something going on with the two of you?” I asked. He seemed off, and if it wasn’t the game, it only left a handful of things. Felicity was at the top of the list.
“Nah, we’re good.”
As if she heard him, Flick came over to us, tucking herself into Jason’s side. “This is... wow. I was not expecting this tonight.”
“School’s out for the holidays. It’s almost a new year. Graduation is right around the corner. What’s not to celebrate?” I shrugged.
“Are you okay?” she narrowed her eyes at me.
“Jeez, what is up with everyone? Can’t a guy be psyched for the holidays?”
“Asher,” Felicity edged closer to me, laying a hand on my arm. “You can talk to us… if something’s wrong.”
Just then the front door opened and another swarm of people poured in. It was getting rowdy but I hadn’t exactly considered the consequences after the strained conversation with my father. His parting words had been to keep things respectable if I had friends over. But all I’d heard was, ‘throw the biggest fucking party you can’. Because this—rebelling against his orders—was the only way I maintained a tiny bit of control over my life. But no one knew that. Because I was Asher fucking Bennet.
Mr. Popular.
Skilled athlete.
Notorious flirt.
And persistent joker.
I was the life and soul of the party. Not the fun sponge, absorbing the good times away, and bringing the mood down.
“Duty calls,” I said to my friends, unable to stand their looks of concern for a second longer.
Tonight was about celebrating.
It was about getting wasted and having fun.
But most of all, it was about sticking it to the man I called Dad and the future he had all laid out for me.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
Cameron eyed the cup in my hand, and I raised it into the air; liquor—vodka, tequila, whisky, I’d lost count of what I was drinking—sloshing up the sides.
“Oopsie,” I hiccupped before chugging down the rest of it. “Now, I’ve had enough.” Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I strained my eyes to see better. Everything was spinning.
Whoa.
Why the fuck was everything spinning?
“Maybe it’s time to—”
“Party!” I yelled, grabbing the nearest body to me and thrusting its arm in the air. A girl’s laughter washed over me.
“Hey, Asher,” she said.
“Hey... uh...”
“Lucy.”
“Lucy, hey.” I smiled, turning on the Asher Bennet charm. “How about me and you—”
“Okay, that’s enough.” A heavy arm landed on my shoulder, pulling me away from the pretty blonde and marching me down the hall.
“Hey, man, I was just about to—”
“Hit on your teammate’s girl?”
“Shit, that was Felicity? I didn’t—”
“Jesus, how much have you had to drink? It wasn’t Felicity; it was Lucy, Peterman’s girlfriend.”
“Fuck,” I slurred.
“Yeah, fuck.” Cameron manhandled me into the bathroom at the back of the house. I stumbled onto the toilet and dropped my head into my hands.
“Everything’s spinning.”
“I’m not surprised. Ready to tell me what’s really going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“The party. You drinking your way through your dad’s liquor cabinet like you’re on a one-way mission to getting your stomach pumped.”
“We’re celebrating.”
“Celebrating, you really expect me to believe that? I know you, Asher, and something’s up.”
“You think you know...” I grumbled, swaying slightly. My hand shot out, steadying me. “You haven’t got any idea what it’s like sometimes.”
“So talk to me, man. I’m right here.”
“It’s my...” I slumped off the toilet and yanked the lid up just in time to empty my stomach contents into the bowl.
“I’ll get you some water.” The door opened and closed as Cam left me to nurse a stomachache—and my pride—on the expensive floor tiles.
After flushing the toilet, I managed to pull a hand towel off the rail and turn on the faucet. I cleaned my face and laid down on the tiles as the room spun around me.
When the door opened again, I held out my hand, not bothering to open my eyes.
“Here.”
Shit.
That wasn’t Cameron.
“Thanks.” I took the bottle from Mya and dragged myself into a seated position. The water tasted like shit going down, but it soothed my throat.
“When did you get here?” Mya hadn’t arrived with Felicity and I hadn’t seen her all night. Unless...
“I’ve been here long enough.”
Fuck.
“Want to talk to about it?”
“Is that why Cameron sent you in here?” I peeked up at her. “To try to coax the truth out of me?”
“No, I offered.”
“Why? I’m no one to you, right?”
“Asher, that’s not fair.” Mya perched on the edge of the bathtub.
My friends didn’t live in houses like this. Houses with an excessive number of bathrooms and guest rooms and jet skis on the lake. But their jealousy was misplaced because what they didn’t know was, money meant fuck all when it came at a price.
A price I’d never asked to pay but had to anyway.
“No? Well life isn’t fucking fair.” I closed my eyes, bringing a hand to my head, hoping the room would stop spinning.
“What am I going to do with you?” Mya sounded closer. She was closer. I felt her fingers on my forehead, softly brushing the hair from my face.
My eyes snapped open, my fingers curling around hers. “What are you doing?” I ground out, hating that I sounded like an ungrateful bastard. But her touch was like kryptonite. Hitting me right where it hurt most—my heart.
“Just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. Now stop being a stubborn ass and let me help you.”
Mya gently pulled me up until I was sitting. I still felt as sick as a dog but at least everything was stationary now. “Cameron and Jason must really hate me, huh?”
“Hate you?” Her brown eyes softened. “Those guys love you like a brother. You’re lucky to have them.”
“Right, that’s me, Asher Lucky Bennet.”
Shit, I’d heard that one too many times over the years.
You’re lucky to have this life. This house, and everything that comes with it.
Don’t be so sensitive, Asher, you’re lucky to have parents who can provide for you.
You’re lucky I’m allowing you to play football at all.
“Did something happen, Asher? Because you’re not making any sense.”
“I drank most of my old man’s liquor cabinet. I don’t even know what day it is right now.”
Lies.
It was all lies. I knew exactly where I was, what day it was, and who was here with me. But I didn’t want Mya to see behind my façade. Behind the guy everyone loved.
Because I knew she might not like what she found.
“Come on, I think the party’s over.” Mya stood up and held out her hand, waiting for me to give her mine.
The second our skin slid together, I felt it. The electricity. The connection. It simmered between us. Hooking my other arm around he
r waist, I pulled her flush against me and pressed my head to hers. “Tell me you don’t feel that?”
“Asher…” Mya’s eyes shuttered as she sucked in a harsh breath.
“Tell me.”
“I… I feel it.” She sounded so resigned. So sad. “But it doesn’t change anything.”
“Because I’m white? Because you think I give a shit about that?”
“Not just that, no. We come from different worlds, Asher. I have… nothing, and you have everything.”
My eyes closed, swallowing down the bitterness. She didn’t get it. No one did. Because, on the face of it, I had the nice house and rich parents, and the Raiders jersey on my back. I was supposed to be grateful. I couldn’t possibly know hardship.
Easing back to look her in the eyes, I let out a heavy sigh. “I thought you of all people might look past all that stuff. I thought you might see me.”
“You’re talking in riddles, Asher, and your breath smells like something died.” Mya’s hands pressed against my chest, the corner of her mouth tipping in a small smile. But I knew she wasn’t pushing me away because I had puke-breath, she was keeping me at a safe distance.
“I’m not,” I whispered. “You just need to look harder.”
“You think you can stand?” Mya asked me and I grinned.
“I’m not falling at your feet... yet.”
“Even drunk you’re insufferable. Wait here, okay? I’ll be right back.”
Satisfied I was propped up against the counter, Mya yanked the door open and ducked into the hall. Part of me wondered if she was doing a runner, getting as far away from me as possible. But the other part, the part clinging to the idea of there being an us one day, was hardly surprised when she reappeared.
She felt it.
Mya felt this thing growing between us.
I just had to get her to see it was worth taking a chance on.
“Jason and Cameron are going to close the party down. Come on...”
“You trying to get into my room, Hernandez?” I looked at her with a lazy smile. She rolled her eyes not giving me an answer.
I figured it was better than an outright rejection.
Hand wrapped around mine, Mya led us into the already emptying hall. Fortunately for me, we were able to slip up the second, less used set of stairs without anyone noticing.
