The Harder You Fall

by L A Cotton

“Which one is your room?”

  “Mya I’m quite capable of getting to my own room.”

  She let go of my hand and gave me a pointed look. I took a small step and another but before I knew it, I staggered forward almost crashing into the wall.

  Except Mya broke my fall.

  “You were saying?” There was a teasing note in her voice, but her eyes held a glint of concern I didn’t want to see there.

  “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that, Mr. Football Hotshot. Come on.” She held out her hand again and I took it, relishing the way her skin felt against mine. So warm. So soft and smooth.

  So right it left me a little breathless.

  “I’m not tucking you in,” Mya threw over her shoulder. “So don’t get any ideas.”

  Pouting, I let her pull me along the hall to my room. “You know,” she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a house so big.”

  “What’s home like? Your home in Philly?”

  “It’s not like this, that’s for sure.” Mya pushed open the door and found the light switch, but I said, “Don’t. I just want to get into bed and forget this ever happened.”

  Mya guided me over to the bed and I flipped down onto it face first. Her amused laughter echoed in my skull. “I’ll get you some water and Advil.”

  I don’t know how many minutes passed before she returned, the liquor-haze making me heavy, pushing me toward the edge of oblivion.

  “Asher?” Her voice pulled me back into consciousness and I rolled over, cracking an eye open.

  “Thanks,” I said, eyeing the bottle of water, box of pills, and gum.

  “You should get some rest. I’ll—"

  “Stay, you should stay.”

  “Asher, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “You’re right, it’s not. It’s probably the worst idea I’ve ever had.” I pushed up onto my elbows, kicking off my sneakers.

  Mya hesitated, her eyes glittering with indecision. She wanted to go, that much was obvious. But something made her stay.

  Padding over to the door, she closed it, before moving to the two-seater couch pushed up against the wall.

  “You’re not sleeping there,” I said, suddenly feeling very awake.

  “Who said anything about sleeping? I’ll sit for a little while and make sure you’re okay.”

  “I think the chances of me hurting myself in my sleep are pretty slim.”

  “You might choke on your own puke.”

  My stomach lurched and I grimaced. “That is...”

  “Disgusting?” Mya smirked.

  “Can we pretend you didn’t see me half-passed out earlier, hugging the toilet bowl?”

  “Too late,” she replied.

  “You’re loving this, aren’t you?” I groaned, tipping my head back and taking in a deep breath. “This was so not how I saw this going.” The words came out small.

  The bed dipped beside me and Mya’s hand rested on my arm. “What happened tonight, Asher?”

  Our eyes collided.

  Time stopped.

  It would have been so easy to tell her, to let her see inside the guy with the world at his feet.

  “I... My dad called, it was a rough conversation.”

  Her brows furrowed. “You threw an impromptu party and then got ass over elbow drunk because of some argument with your dad?”

  “Well, when you say it like that...” Strangled laughter spilled out of me, but it quickly died when I felt my stomach churn again. “Fuck.” I clambered off the bed, making a beeline for the bathroom adjoining my room, leaving Mya, and all thoughts of my dad behind.

  Mya

  “How is he?” Felicity asked as I entered the kitchen. Jason and Cameron had cleared the house in less than thirty minutes and were now bagging up all the empties while Hailee and Felicity wiped the counters.

  “He’s finally asleep.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that,” she said.

  “I’m going to help the guys.” Hailee gave me a smile before leaving us alone.

  “What do you know about Asher’s parents?”

  “His parents?” Flick frowned. “They’re mega rich.” She glanced around the huge kitchen as if a person’s worth amounted to state-of-the-art appliances and sparkling marble counters.

  “Yeah, but what do you know about them? Like, why are they never around?”

  “His dad is in the tech business. Developed some security system for rich celebrity types. So he’s away a lot schmoozing them and having meetings, I guess.”

  “So you don’t really know?”

  “I... I never really thought about it. It’s just always how it’s been. They’re good people though. You know they gave Cameron a room here for when he needed to get away from his family, and Mrs. Bennet used to help his mom out with Xander.”

  Xander, Cameron’s little brother, was the cutest kid I’d ever seen, but it didn’t explain anything about Mr. and Mrs. Bennet.

  “So they were around more when Asher was younger?”

  “They went to his games when they could, but they’ve always travelled a lot.”

  “Both of them? Doesn’t that seem a little weird to you?”

  “Where’s all this coming from, Mya? Jason and Cameron seem to respect Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. They’re pretty cool parents. If you ask me, Asher’s lucky to have them.”

  Lucky to have them.

  Asher had mumbled something similar. But he was so wasted it was hard to decipher what was real and what was the liquor talking.

  A couple of beats passed before Flick said, “You think something happened with his dad?”

  “I’m not sure. He wasn’t making a lot of sense. Hey, don’t tell Jason any of this, okay? I’m not sure Asher will remember any of tonight and I don’t want to seem like I’m poking my nose in where it doesn’t belong.”

  “I would never...”

  “I know.”

  “What will you do?”

  “I’m not sure yet. Part of me wants to dig around and find out what’s going on with him, but the other part...”

  “Is scared?” Her brow arched.

  “I’m not—”

  “You like him, don’t you?”

  “Felicity, come on. You know I’m not looking for that.”

  “I know, but sometimes it comes whether you want it or not.”

  “I don’t want to give him the wrong idea about us.”

  “Asher is a good guy, Mya. He would never hurt you.” The unspoken words glittered in her eyes.

  “It could never work,” I said, mentally running over all the reasons me and Asher were a terrible idea.

  “There was a time I would have said the same thing about me and Jason,” Felicity pointed out.

  “Yeah, but that’s different.”

  “Is it? I know you think you come from different worlds but what’s that saying, ‘opposites attract’? Who knows? Maybe you’re exactly what each other needs.”

  My eyes darted to the doorway. “I should probably get home, my aunt will be—”

  “Want a piece of advice? Don’t run. These Raider boys have a way of getting what they want, and whether you want it or not, I think Asher wants you.”

  I gawked at her, the air sucked clean from my lungs. He’d made no secret of the fact he felt something for me. Even made me admit I felt it too. But everything was so easy for him or, at least, I’d thought it was before tonight. But now I didn’t know what to think. I’d heard no rumors around town about his father; nothing to make me question the kind of childhood he’d had.

  From the outside, Asher Bennet had it all.

  Money.

  Looks.

  A bright future ahead of him.

  Everyone knew looks could be deceiving though, and I couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to Asher than met the eye.

  I knew I should walk away. Walk away and forget all about the football player with the easy smi
le and glint in his eye. But the fixer in me couldn’t just forget.

  Mom always said I was drawn to broken things. Right since I was a little girl and used to feed the neighborhood’s stray cats. Then Jermaine came along with his crooked smile and nose for trouble and that was it, I’d never wanted to fix something as much as I’d wanted to fix him.

  “Mya?” Flick’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I blinked over at her.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Just tired. I should go.”

  “You could always stay here. It’s late and I don’t like the idea of you walking home alone.”

  “It’s not that far.” And I’d walked through much worse neighborhoods at night.

  “Let me ask Jason—”

  “Ask me what?” He appeared at the door, his brows drawn tight.

  “Can you give Mya a ride home?”

  “It’s fine, I can walk.”

  “Come on, tough girl,” he teased. “I only had one beer.”

  Riding with Jason, alone, was the last place I wanted to be, but Flick gave me a nod of encouragement before gazing up at him with stars in her eyes. “Thanks, babe,” she said. “I’ll finish cleaning up. Call you tomorrow.” That was for me.

  I gave her a tight smile before following Jason out of the house. His restored Dodge Charger glistened in the moonlight. “You going to stand there all night or get in?” he said.

  “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “You’re one of Felicity’s best friends which makes you my friend. Now get in the damn car.”

  Feeling my jaw clench, I yanked open the door and slid inside.

  “There,” Jason smirked, “that wasn’t so difficult, was it?”

  I shot him a pointed look but he only chuckled.

  Silence settled over us as Jason backed out of the Bennet’s large driveway and took the road out of town.

  “I take it Felicity told you where I live?”

  “There isn’t much she doesn’t tell me,” he said dryly.

  “I’ll bear that in mind.”

  “How was Ash when you finally left him?”

  “Passed out hugging a pillow.”

  “He say anything to you?”

  “Just a lot of jumbled nonsense. What do you think happened?” I glanced at him sideways, wondering if Jason had his own theories, and whether or not he’d share them with me.

  “He’s been acting weird for a while. At first, I thought it was just about Felicity. He likes... liked her.” Jason cleared his throat. “For a second I thought she was actually going to come between us.”

  I shifted uncomfortably in the leather seat, jealousy edging into my thoughts.

  “But now I’m thinking it has nothing to do with her.” His hard gaze burned into the side of my face. “He likes you, ya know?”

  “So everyone keeps telling me.”

  “You’re not feeling it?”

  “I... it’s complicated.”

  “Because of your ex?”

  “Let me guess, Felicity told you—”

  “Actually, she didn’t. But I’m no fool, Mya. I know you’re running from something.”

  It wasn’t like I tried to hide who I was and where I came from, but it unnerved me that Jason saw through me so easily.

  “Look, whatever’s going on with Ash, something tells me he’s not going to come to me or Cam with it. But maybe he’ll open up to you.”

  “You want me to use his feelings for me against him?”

  “That’s not...” he let out a heavy sigh. “I’m worried about him. I’ve never seen him so out of control. It’s Asher, he’s like sunshine on a rainy fucking day or something. But tonight was different. He was...”

  “Dark,” I whispered.

  “Yeah. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with him but whatever it is, he needs someone there for him.”

  “He has people. He has you and Cameron and Felicity and the rest of the team.”

  Jason grumbled, “Does he know that though?”

  “I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea.” My hands curled into fists, pressing against my thigh.

  “I’m not asking you to marry the guy. Just be a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen. Things haven’t been the same between us since everything went down and I know he feels pushed out because Cam’s with Hailee and I’m with Felicity.”

  When I didn’t answer, Jason’s words swirling around my head, he added, “He’s a good guy, Mya.”

  That was the problem though. Asher was good. He deserved a girl who could be in the moment with him one hundred percent. I wasn’t sure I could be that for him.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to be.

  “You don’t think it would only make things worse for him?” I asked.

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I huffed indignantly, annoyed at myself for even bringing it up. Maybe Flick was right, maybe I was making a bigger deal out of it than it needed to be.

  We rode the rest of the way in silence. It was one thing I liked about Jason; he didn’t feel the need to fill awkward silences. He also didn’t push. He’d said his piece and now the ball was in my court.

  Only I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do about it.

  “Well damn, girl, if you don’t look like a bird is nesting in there.” Aunt Ciara eyed my wild curls with amusement.

  I smoothed a hand over my bed hair and waved her off, making a beeline for the coffeemaker. I’d had a restless night, replaying things over in my head. The drunken conversation with Asher. The friendly advice from Felicity, and the strange ride home with Jason.

  “Rough night?” my aunt asked.

  “Something like that.” I made myself a mug of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

  “I was talking to Maeve yesterday and she told me the best news. Her grandson, Tyrese, is coming to stay for the holidays. Isn’t that great?”

  My brows pinched, blood pounding between my ears. “Tyrese?”

  “He’s a good boy. Studying business at UPenn, I think. Visits his gram whenever he can. I’m surprised he’s still single.”

  “Aunt C,” I groaned, not liking where this was headed.

  “Now now, don’t go getting all riled up. We know better than to meddle. But would it really hurt you to come visit them with me one day?”

  Yes, yes it would. It was bad enough she had an opinion on everything but now she was trying to set me up with her friend’s grandson. It couldn’t get much worse.

  “It won’t hurt for you to have another friend here, Mya,” she said when I didn’t answer.

  “I have friends.”

  “And I’m sure they’re great. But Tyrese is...” She hesitated.

  “Black?” I questioned, disappointment dripping from my voice.

  “That’s not what I was going to say. But now that you bring it up, yes, he is. He’s a good solid Afro-American man who has been raised to respect women. After Jermaine, he could be just what you need.”

  “I’m sure he’s a good man.” I rose from the table slowly, letting the chair scrape across the tiles. “But I’m not interested.” Dumping my mug on the drainer, I walked out of there, not bothering to stop at the sound of my aunt’s voice.

  She’d gone too far this time.

  Thinking I needed her all up in my business. Jermaine wasn’t just some guy I’d foolishly fallen in love with. He’d been my best friend since forever. We had history; our lives were entwined. He was a good guy but like so many before him, he had been tempted by the easy money running for Diaz’s crew could give him. Opportunity didn’t come knocking in our neighborhood.

  Drugs, gangs, and crime did.

  I slammed the bedroom door behind me and made my way over to the bed, only to be interrupted by the blare of my cell. Glancing at Shona’s name, I ignored it, dropping onto my bed and clutching a pillow to my chest. Mom was right. Unless I made a clean break, I would never escape my
ties to Fallowfield Heights. But it was my home. Not to mention the fact my mom would never leave there. How was I supposed to just forget them? To turn my back on my roots?

  The answer was, I couldn’t.

  Not yet.

  Asher

  “You look like shit.” Jason smirked at me as I padded into the kitchen, the smell of bacon turning my stomach.

  “Fee, baby, not that I don’t usually love seeing you in my kitchen—”

  “You need to eat,” she cut me off, grabbing the pan and shaking the contents onto a plate. Usually I would have been the first to dive in, but I could barely look at it without my stomach churning.

  “I really don’t,” I grumbled. “I need water and Advil. Lots of Advil.”

  It wasn’t unusual to see them in my kitchen on a weekend, especially after a party. But this was one morning I didn’t want company. My head was pounding, my body felt like it had gone ten rounds with our defensive line, and I had murky memories from the night before... memories I’d rather forget.

  “Which one of you put me to bed?” I asked Jason, and Cam who was awfully quiet. They glanced at each other and then me.

  “You don’t remember?” Cameron asked.

  “I have a few black spots.”

  “We didn’t put you to bed, man. Mya did.”

  “What the fuck did you just say? Mya wasn’t even at the party.” I knew, I’d looked for her enough. But that was before all the tequila... and Jack... and shots.

  Too. Many. Fucking. Shots.

  “She turned up,” Flick added, pushing a plate of breakfast toward me. I just stared at it, trying to sort through the hangover haze clouding my mind.

  “She was here?”

  “Yup.” Jason bit into a piece of crispy bacon.

  “Well, shit.” It was one thing for my friends to see me trashed, but Mya?

  That wasn’t supposed to happen.

  Fuck.

  “Did she... say anything?”

  “After watching you puke for an hour? The girl was traumatized.”

  “I didn’t—” A hazy memory flooded my mind. Mya’s hand against my skin. It was hard to tell if it was real or just a figment of my imagination. I guess drinking half your old man’s liquor cabinet would do that to you.