The Harder You Fall

by L A Cotton

  “You don’t need to worry, Dad,” I said in an attempt to placate him, and get him off the phone. It was bad enough they were coming home soon without spending my last couple days of freedom arguing with him.

  “Very well, we’ll see you soon. Invite the guys to join us for dinner if you’d like.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Although after confessing everything to Mya, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep lying to them.

  “Yo, Ash, you down there?” Jase’s voice rang out through the house and I dropped the free weights, grabbing a towel to dry off. I’d barely made it off the bench when he and Cam appeared in the door.

  “How long have you been down here? We’ve been calling.”

  “A while.” I caught the bottle of water Cam threw me, uncapped it and took a long pull. “Thanks.”

  “You look like shit,” Jase remarked, arms folded across his chest, eyes narrowed with scrutiny.

  “I’m okay.” After the conversation with Dad and finding out Mya had gone back home for a couple of days, I’d hit the gym. Pushing my body to its physical limit. The adrenaline didn’t erase the memories, but it helped temper the frustration swimming in my veins.

  When my friends didn’t reply, watching me as if I was a freak show, I added, “It takes a lot of hard work to look this good, you know.” My lip curved convincingly.

  “So this hasn’t got anything to do with the fact Mya just up and left to go back to Philly?”

  “Nope.” I said, dropping back onto the bench and staring up at the ceiling.

  “Did something happen between the two of you?” Cam asked.

  “Yeah,” that was Jason. “Because I tried to get it out of Felicity, but she wouldn’t give it up. Not even after I did that thing she loves with my ton—”

  “Whoa, too much information,” I protested, throwing an arm over my eyes.

  When I’d been working out, the pain and resistance had demanded my full attention, but now I was done my muscles slowly began to contract and relax, letting in the torrent of thoughts I’d rather keep out.

  “So you and Mya?”

  “There is no me and Mya,” I grumbled.

  She’d run.

  For all I knew she was headed straight back into her ex’s arms.

  My fist clenched against my thigh.

  Fuck.

  “But something did happen?”

  I glanced over at them. “I thought so, but I got it wrong.”

  “She’ll come around,” Jason said it as if it was a given, but I wasn’t so sure. Mya had spent the night in my bed, in my arms, and then literally ran home from me. It didn’t get much suckier than that.

  “We have places to be anyway.”

  “Yeah?” My brow rose.

  “Yeah.” He smirked. “If you’d have bothered to check your phone, you’d know. Get ready and meet us out front in five.”

  They turned and walked away but I called after them, “Where are we going?”

  “To initiate the next generation.”

  That got my attention. We’d dominated the team for so long, there hadn’t been any need to initiate the players coming up through the ranks. Sure, we gave the younger players shit but everyone knew the deal. You either made the cut or didn’t, and if you did, you were as good as family. But this year was different; this year we were handing the reins to them. Aside from the exhibition game next month, our time as Raiders was officially over.

  I should have known Jason wouldn’t walk away without putting the rookies through their paces.

  And bad mood or not, this was one show I didn’t want to miss.

  An hour later, Cam, me, and the rest of the senior players stood behind Jason with the junior and freshman players huddled in front of us. The line had been drawn but we all had two things in common: we were Raiders, and we were freezing our balls off.

  “Listen up and listen good. Just because our time at Rixon is almost done doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away without knowing we’re leaving the team in good hands.”

  A couple of guys grumbled at Jase’s stern words. I rose a brow at Mackey, one of the youngest players on the team. He pressed his lips together and dropped his eyes to the ground. Little fucker.

  “It’s time to prove yourselves. To show me and the rest of the senior players that you’ve got what it takes to lead the team into next season and defend the championship. We have the game with the Eagles coming up and although some of you might think it’s just a friendly scrimmage, it isn’t. It’s a chance to put this bullshit rivalry behind us. It’s time to show them and everyone else who we really are.” He glanced at me. “Ash, if you’ll do the honors.”

  I stepped forward, bouncing on my toes, clutching my helmet by my side. “Who are we?”

  “Raiders.” It was a guttural roar that almost put me on my ass. A grin tugged at my lips. Jason didn’t need to worry about leaving the younger players in charge of the team. They were fighters. Hungry for it. They were more than ready to fill our shoes.

  Throwing my head back, beating my fist on my chest, I yelled, “I said who are we?”

  “RAIDERS.”

  “And what are we?”

  “Family.”

  “Damn right we are,” I added, going off script. Hooking my arm around Jase and Cam’s necks, I crushed them into me. “And what are we gonna do?”

  “Win.” The words reverberated through me, igniting the familiar fire in my chest.

  “I said what are we gonna do?”

  “WIN!”

  Fuck, I was going to miss this. Miss them. I didn’t allow myself to go there often. To a place where I no longer had my guys—my brothers—at my side. Football, playing with Cam and Jason for the last four seasons, had been everything to me. A gift. One I both appreciated and resented.

  “Hey, you okay?” Cam whispered as the rest of the guys got ready to prove themselves to Jason.

  “Yeah, it’s just everything’s changing.” The two of us watched our best friend bark orders at his successors, while Grady and Merrick, a couple of the other seniors, helped him whip them in shape ready for the first drill.

  “Change isn’t always a bad thing.”

  “Isn’t it?” I threw him an uncertain glance.

  “The Panthers isn’t the only team interested in you. If you’re having doubts, you can always go somewhere else.” Cam meant well but he didn’t know all the facts. He didn’t know that despite the Pittsburgh Panthers wanting me, I’d already turned down their offer.

  Now was not the time to tell him.

  Clapping him on the back, I forced an Asher Bennet kilowatt smile. “Come on, we have some rookies to terrorize.”

  For as bittersweet as it was, running drills with my team again was exactly what I needed. The initial burn of frigid air filling my lungs, the ping of my muscles as I sprinted up and down the field, the thrill of rushing our offense players to the ground. Football might not have been my destiny, but it would forever be a part of me. One day in the future, when I was stuck in some boring computer class, or shadowing my old man in a meeting with some stuck-up celebrity type, I’d remember this time.

  When football was religion and people worshipped the ground we walked on.

  “Yo, Cap,” I called out to Jason. “I’m thinking we need to put the offense through their paces, they’re looking a bit sloppy.”

  “I like your style, Bennet,” Grady said, jogging up beside me. “What you thinking?”

  “Bull in the ring.”

  He howled with laughter while a couple of the younger players paled. Bull in the ring was an age-old drill that was mostly considered too aggressive for practice these days.

  “Ste, you’re up first.”

  “Me?” He blanched. “Why am I up first?”

  “Because you’ve got some big shoes to fill next year, QB1,” I teased. Ste was a good kid; showed real leadership potential, but he was no Jason Ford.

  I doubted Rixon High would see another Jason Ford for a very long ti
me.

  “Shit,” Ste cussed beneath his breath.

  “Yo, Cap, you ever shit yourself before a little game of bull in the ring?”

  Jason sauntered over to me, arms folded across his number one jersey, and cut his glare to Ste. “You want to take this team all the way, Kinnicky?”

  “Y- yeah, you know I do, man.”

  “So man up and get in the fucking ring,” Jason growled the words, shooting me and the rest of the seniors an amused smirk.

  “Get it, Kinnicky,” Mackey yelled. “You’ve got this.” The rest of the freshman and junior players started cheering their future quarterback on while we moved into position, ready to rush the shit out of him. Nine seniors versus one junior. It was typically the defense players who formed the ring, but this wasn’t about physical strength as much as it was about mental strength. And Ste Kinnicky, future quarterback and leader of the Rixon Raiders was about to show us all just how big his balls were.

  “You ready, Kinnicky?” Jason asked and the junior pulled down his face guard and nodded sharply.

  “Okay, on my count. One… two… play.”

  “You think they’ve got what it takes?” I asked my best friends, tipping the neck of my beer toward the table of younger Raiders. We’d finally called time on the drills when a storm rolled in and fat drops of rain had started to fall. In true captain spirit, Jase told everyone to head to Bell’s, adding that the drinks were on him.

  “Kinnicky has the skill but I don’t know if he has the heart.” He stroked his jaw. “Mackey, though, now that kid is hungry for it.”

  “He’s hungry for something all right,” Cam chuckled. “Check him out, trying his luck with Sara again.”

  The regular waitress at Bell’s, Sara, was used to our banter: the cat calls and sexual innuendo. But Mackey was like a dog with a bone and no matter how many times she knocked him back, he got right back up and tried again.

  “Hey, Jase, did you ever get in her panties? You can tell us.” Grady piped up, earning him a slap upside the head from Cam. “What?” he groaned. “It’s just a question.”

  “I’m with Felicity now, fucker. Show some respect.”

  “Jeez, it’s not like she’s here right now. I’m just shooting the shit.”

  “Yeah, well don’t.” Jase grunted, leaning back in the booth.

  “You’ve changed, man. And if that’s what it means to be pussy-whipped, count me out.”

  “Nawww, Grady, you sound jealous,” I taunted.

  “Jealous? Fuck that. The two of you are no fun now. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like Hailee and Felicity, I like them a lot; but shit, guys, there’s too much pussy in the ocean to be shacked up before we all go off to college.”

  “You’ll see,” Jase said smoothly. “One day, when you’re least expecting it, some chick will come along and knock you on your ass.”

  “Nah, it’s not my style. I prefer to hit it and quit it. Am I right or am I right, Bennet?”

  “Yeah, is he right, Bennet?” Jason rose an amused brow.

  Smug fucker.

  “What’s that look for?” Grady caught on to the silent conversation happening between me and my best friend.

  “Nothing. It is nothing, right, Ash?”

  “Wait a minute.” Grady sat up straighter. “You hitting that sweet Latina ass?”

  “Grady,” I warned, levelling him with a hard look.

  “What? It’s all cool with me. She has a Rihanna look about her. You know from the Talk That Talk single cover.”

  We all gawked at him and his eyes widened. “What? She’s hot and that song is dope.”

  “Who are you right now?” Laughter rumbled in my chest, but it came out strangled. I didn’t like hearing Grady talk about Mya. Even if it was his attempt at a compliment.

  “So are you?”

  “Am I what?” I asked.

  “Banging Mya.”

  “Grady?”

  “Yeah?” He grinned.

  “Shut the fuck up.”

  Before I make you.

  Mya

  “I thought you said it was going to be low key?” I yelled over the music to Shona, but she was too busy eye-fucking one of her brother’s friends to notice.

  “Yo, Mya, get over here and show me how you work it.” Some guy I recognized from school crooked his finger at me, a lazy smirk plastered on his face.

  “In your dreams, Diego. Don’t you know Mya is still J’s girl?”

  I bristled. Shona’s head whipped round finally giving me her attention. “Oh, hell no, Kris, you did not just say what I think you said.”

  “Shona,” I hissed, grabbing her hand. “Leave it, it doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters,” she gave the guy some serious stink eye. He threw up his hands, mumbling an apology. “That’s right, homeboy, you’d better apologize to my girl.”

  “You need me to kick his ass to the curb?” Jesse, Shona’s brother, appeared with his friend Leroy in tow.

  “S’all good.” She barely looked at Jesse, giving Leroy the once over. “But you can get me and my girl a drink.”

  “Shona, don’t be hitting on my friends.” He frowned, glancing at me with an expression that said ‘help a guy out’. I shrugged. We both knew there was no stopping Shona when she had her sights set on something, or someone.

  “What can I get you, Mya?” Leroy asked.

  “Just a soda pl—”

  “She’ll have a proper drink, like me.”

  “Shona, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I glanced around her house. Every inch of space was crammed with bodies and I couldn’t help but notice there wasn’t a single white person anywhere.

  It wasn’t something I’d ever noticed before.

  But that was before. When I’d lived for my best friend’s parties, When Fallowfield Heights still felt like home. When I didn’t feel the need to permanently watch over my shoulder for any signs of trouble.

  “Hey,” Jesse’s hand landed on my shoulder, “You’re good here. Jermaine knows better than to come around causing trouble.”

  “I know.” I gave him a tight smile. “I’m a’ight.”

  “Good. So how is it livin’ out in the country? Shona says you’re at some fancy ass football school.”

  “It isn’t exactly fancy, but they sure do love football.”

  “They treating you right? Or do I gotta roll up on your new classmates and give them a little warning, Jesse Byrd style?”

  Fighting a smile, I replied, “It’s mostly been okay.”

  “Mostly?” His brow rose.

  “I’m a four percenter.”

  “Huh?” Confusion crinkled Jesse’s eyes but Leroy returned with our drinks, saving me an explanation. Taking a sip, I was relieved to find barely any trace of liquor. The last thing I needed was to end up drunk.

  Just in case.

  The opening beats to the latest Drake song blasted through the speakers causing Shona to shake her booty. “Dance with me.” She grabbed Leroy’s hand and all but dragged him into the middle of the room.

  “Damn, she never listens.” Jesse shook his head in mild disgust.

  “Has she ever?” I chuckled watching her grind up on Jesse’s friend. He’d looked bewildered at first, but it didn’t take long before his actions mirrored hers, his hands running up and down her body as they moved and popped to the sultry beat.

  “She tell you about Jermaine getting kicked out of school?”

  I nodded, pressing my lips together to stop myself from going there.

  “He’s in deep with Diaz. Be careful, Mya.”

  “I’m a big girl, Jesse.” My eyes slid to his. “I can take care of myself.”

  “Oh, I don’t doubt it.” His eyes danced with amusement. “But you’re like family to me, always will be, and I’d hate to see you get hurt again.”

  My breath caught in my throat. We’d never talked about what happened, but Jesse had been there when Shona found me. He’d driven us to the ER. Had almost lost it that nig
ht, wanting to go find Jermaine and beat the crap out of him for putting me in harm’s way. Between me and Shona, we’d managed to convince him not to do anything reckless. Jesse Byrd might have been six feet two of pure muscle and brawn, but he was no match for Diaz and his crew.

  “I’ll be okay, promise.”

  He didn’t look convinced, but he knew me well enough to drop it. We watched Shona and Leroy practically dry fuck until Jesse finally snapped. Grunting under his breath, he stormed toward them, ripping his baby sister away from his friend. She flounced over to me and grabbed her drink, hardly fazed.

  “He needs to lighten the hell up.”

  “You two were getting pretty hot out there.”

  “We were dancing.”

  “So I didn’t see him rubbing up on you?”

  Shona smothered a giggle, and I rolled my eyes. “You need to find yourself a decent guy instead of acting thirsty every time a guy looks in your direction.”

  She fake gasped. “I do not act thirsty.”

  “You know it’s true. But you’re worth more, Shona.”

  “Listen to you, acting all boujee now you livin’ in that hick town.”

  “You do realize that’s a complete contradiction, right? You can’t be boujee and hick?”

  “Whatever.” She stuck her nose in the air, flicking her braids off her shoulder. “All I’m saying is you don’t be calling me no more, too busy with your new friends.”

  “You know it’s not like that.” Guilt snaked through me. “I just...”

  “Yeah, I know.” Shona shoulder checked me. “I’m messing with you.”

  “I got a new cell phone number. So now we can talk all the time. You’ll just have to save me as ‘boujee bitch’ or something.” I grinned.

  “You really think I’d be letting Jermaine look at my cell? I’ve barely spoken to him since you left.”

  Silence filled the space between as we both looked out at the sea of bodies. There was a thin layer of smoke, the bitter twang of weed permeating the air.