by Vi Carter
Her eyes shift around the room. “I’ll shoot you if you don’t let me leave.” She moves towards the door and I take a step out of the kitchen area. I don’t put my drink down.
She stares at it in confusion. “I will shoot you. Don’t test me.” Her hands tremble.
“You know you can’t leave,” I say and finish my drink. “The only way out of here is if you kill me.”
Her eyes fill with tears and she blinks letting them fall down her cheeks. “I just want to be free. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
I don’t move or react to her words.
“You can tell him I escaped,” she’s pleading now.
I move back slowly towards the counter and place my glass on it. “Just put the gun down.” I give her a final warning.
She shakes her head.
I see the shift in her stance.
“I’m sorry.” She tells me before she pulls the trigger.
It takes a lot to surprise me but she just did. She looks at the gun like she can’t figure out what just happened. She points the gun back at me as I walk towards her and continues to pull the trigger. Each click has her eyes filling with tears. I reach her and take my gun from her hands.
“You think I would leave a loaded gun in a place you could easily access?” Once I have the gun in my hand she moves away from me. But every step she takes I mirror it. I’m angry that she so easily pulled the trigger. I didn’t expect her to do it and I don’t like surprises. She’s panicked. I can see it in the shift of her eyes. The moment she darts to the left, I let her get a few steps ahead of me. She’s trying to make a break for the door. I catch her easily and she screams as I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her off the ground. She’s kicking and screaming, reaching back and trying to claw at my face. Once I reach my bedroom, I deposit her on the bed and she scurries back to the headboard.
“I’m sorry.”
“Useless words, Svetlana.” My calm drives her panic and I’m glad. She just tried to kill me.
“Please,” she begs as I move around the bed, she tries to dash away from me and I grip her arm, pulling her towards me. I’m ready when she strikes out at me, grabbing her other arm I hold them together.
“Let me go.” Her words are growing frantic and as much as I want to hurt her, another part of me wants to calm her. Pulling in her into my chest I hold her and she struggles but finally she stops.
“I’ll let you go when you calm down.” I speak to the crown of her head. She’s dangerous and it has nothing to do with her ability to kill me. She’s dangerous because I didn’t want to let her go. She doesn’t speak and I don’t release her. Her body soon sags in my arms and I come to my senses and I let her go.
“I will arrange for your return to your uncle tomorrow,” I say standing up.
“No. No. Please. He’ll kill me.”
“Like you just tried to kill me?”
“Tie me to the bed. I won’t protest.” She’s shaking her head, tears falling from her eyes. “But I’m begging you don’t send me back. Holic will make sure this time I don’t survive.”
I turn my back on her, and she jumps off the bed.
“Liam, please.”
Her words scorch me but help me make a decision. I face her now.
“No I’ve made up my mind. I don’t want you here anymore.” I close the bedroom door and leave her. My phone rings and I close my eyes trying to pull myself together.
“Yes Una,” I answer.
“Finn’s missing. No one can find him.”
“He may have needed time away,” I tell her.
“No Liam. This is different. His wedding band, phone and car keys are here.”
“I’ll be up in a minute.” Hanging up I stuff the phone in my pocket.
“Wanda.”
“What can I do you for you today?”
“Ring the front gate.”
The ring tone is immediate and Stephen answers. “Did you see Finn leave today?” I ask him.
“No Mr. O’Reagan.” That meant he was still on the property.
“Wanda lock down the whole basement.” I tell her and grab my keys before leaving.
“Locking down the basement.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
LIAM
I find Shane in the kitchen waiting for me. I want to tell him I don’t have time for this.
“What’s happened?”
“Finn’s missing and so is Darragh. Both of their phones are here. It just doesn’t feel right to me Liam.”
The minute he mentions Darragh’s name, something uneasy slithers up my back. Had I made a mistake letting him go?
“Where have you searched?”
Shane shrugs. “Everywhere.”
“Did something happen?” I’m going around in circles.
The back door opens and Una comes in with her hair frizzy and damp from the start of fresh rain. “Stephen saw Darragh go into the forest a while ago and Finn was following him.”
A tingle starts in my chest and I have the urge to rub it. “I’ll go, stay here both of you in case they come back.”
Shane narrows his eyes. “I’ll go with you.”
“No.” I needed to get out of this kitchen. “Just stay here.”
The urge to get out of the house isn’t eased when I step out into the rain. Walking to the yard, I’m picturing the worst possible outcome. Darragh being in the forest again isn’t a coincidence. I take the quad to get there faster. I don’t allow my mind to go to that night. That night that destroyed each one of us in a different way.
The time that Darragh had left with the gun and Una and I searched for him in the forest, that day I thought he had remembered. He was standing in the spot where it had happened. But he hadn’t. I hope I get lucky again today.
I reach the tree line and stop the quad. I try to listen over the soft rain and the chatter of birds but I don’t hear voices. Getting off I start the short walk to where I hope they aren’t. But hope doesn’t make the image of Darragh and Finn disappear. I can’t hear them but they are where I thought they would be.
They don’t hear my approach and I put my hands in my trousers pockets to look calm and collected. For the first time in a long time I’m rattled. Dealing with John and Svetlana hasn’t helped but this right here, was something I had fought hard to bury.
“Darragh you are causing quite the stir back at the house.” I step out from behind a large oak tree. Finn spins around and faces me. He’s not wearing his sunglasses; his eyes are haunted and filled with pain. I hope its Siobhan’s loss and not something Darragh has said. My eyes move to Darragh who’s soaked to the skin. He’s hunkered down while touching the forest floor.
“I used to dream of that room.” He looks up at me now, and I don’t see hate or anger. These are the emotions Darragh wears the most but right now he looks as sorrowful as Finn.
“Come back to the house, everyone is concerned about you,” I say.
He’s rising and Darragh’s never looked as tall or as threatening. “I want the truth.” He takes a step towards me and Finn moves closer also.
“The truth about what?” I remove my hands from my pockets. An ache has started in the back of my throat that I ignore.
“Why was I in that room?” His tortured voice wavers.
“You robbed a bank Darragh and ….”
“No, before. I was in that room before.” He’s shaking his head, running his hands through his hair, like he can pull out some memory.
“What did you do to him?” Finn speaks for the first time.
“You should go back to the house. Una is very worried about you.” Finn doesn’t answer me but stays exactly where he is.
“I dreamt of that room for so long. But that’s all I thought it was, a dream. While in there I remember I carved my name into a wall. It’s still there Liam.” Darragh takes another step towards me. “Tell me why I was in that room.” His anger grows with each word.
“I was helping you get clean.” I have the urge
to rub my throat again but refrain from moving.
“Who is John Cummings?” When he asks me this question there is something in his eyes, he already knows.
“I’m not standing in the rain debating this nonsense. We need to return to the house.” I look at Finn and he takes a step towards me.
“You drugged me. He told me what you did to me.” Darragh’s brows furrow and the look of betrayal on his face rattles me further.
“Why would you do that?” His disgust fills each word.
“Did you do that to him, Liam? Our brother?” Finn looks at me like I’m the monster I am.
“No.”
Darragh’s face changes. It goes slack with hurt before curling up with anger. He lets out a cry as he races towards me. I’m ready for his anger.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I warn him but he doesn’t slow down. I hunch slightly taking the impact of him to the left side of my body, before swinging out and gripping his neck. I slam him into the ground. The air is pulled from his lungs but I hold him down.
Finn’s moving and I don’t release Darragh as I look up at him and he pauses.
“Let him up now.” Finn demands.
“I will when he calms down,” I say to Finn. Darragh is thrashing under me and I use both hands to hold him down. The air returns and he gasps, his face red.
“Get the fuck off me.” His roars only make me tighten my hold on him.
I’m keeping an eye on Finn too but he doesn’t move. “You need to calm down.”
He’s shaking his head, pushing his body up. “Fuck you. You’re a liar. That’s all you do.”
The weight on my chest keeps growing as I hold Darragh down. I’ve held him down just like this before. My hold falters and he gets out from under me. Darragh doesn’t pause for a second and I’m not ready when his foot impacts with the side of my face. The impact rolls me onto my back. I’m trying to stand; I can’t hear anything and black spots fill my vision. Finn is holding Darragh, but he won’t be able to for much longer. Darragh is like a man possessed. He wants to hurt me. I’m standing and stumble, a tree that I cling to stops me from falling. I feel the shift more than hear it. Turning my head, Finn has lost the battle to hold Darragh back. I hold the tree for support until the last second. Turning I shift until I’m behind him and grab him by the neck. I push his body against the tree roughly.
“Calm down,” I say. My voice sounds strange I only have hearing in one ear.
“Did I watch her die?” Darragh’s face crumbles and once again I’m faced with the decision I made that night.
“What is he talking about?” Finn is pacing.
The rain is coming down heavier on top of us all.
“He must be high again,” I say.
Darragh losses control under me. My control over this situation was slipping.
“You go back to the house Finn.” I raise my voice.
Darragh slows down his fight against me while Finn takes a step back.
I think he’s going to go, but he doesn’t. “Did you find out who killed my wife?”
Closing my eyes I try to compose myself. “Finn. Don’t you think I have enough to handle right now?”
“You always put him first Liam.”
“You sound pathetic.” I can see the hurt my words inflict. “Go home.”
“I know I’m not the strongest, but I’m not damaged like you. So I’m not the pathetic one.”
“I said go home Finn.” This time he does with hunched shoulders.
I wait until Finn is out of sight before I focus on Darragh. “Your mind is playing tricks on you. You need to let this go.” I shake him hoping I’m drilling each word into him.
“John told me what you did to me.” His lips turn into a snarl. “Just fucking admit it, you are so weak.” His roar is laced with venom that pierces my skin.
I shake him again, slamming him into the ground. “I’m the only thing holding us together.” My chest tightens again and I don’t know what’s happening to me.
“I. Don’t. Believe you. I saw my name on that wall.”
“Yes you were there before, to dry out.” It doesn’t matter what I say he’s shaking his head, blinking rain out of his eyes.
“No Liam. You drugged me because I saw something I shouldn’t have seen.”
My hands release him and I sit back. I need to remove my tie. I can’t breathe properly.
Darragh is standing over me now. “Just tell me what happened. I can take it.” Darragh continues to plead.
I open the top button of my shirt but it doesn’t give me the relief I’m craving. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My words are choppy and I use the tree beside me to stand. I need to get away from here but Darragh is in my face, his hands grip my shoulders.
“I’m begging you Liam. I can’t have this going around in my head all the time.” The pain in his eyes radiates towards me.
“You are better off not knowing,” I whisper, the fight in me leaving.
Hope blossoms dangerously in Darragh and he grips me tighter. “I need to know. Please. I can’t live like this anymore. I keep seeing her Liam. I keep seeing mam.”
“Stop.” I try to walk away; the air seems to be thinning at an alarming rate.
“No. I can’t stop. I see her dying face. She’s gasping for air.”
I push Darragh away from me and take a step back. “I said stop.”
“Did she die here?” He’s pointing around him wildly. “Is this why I keep coming back here. Did she die in this forest? On the ground?” His frustration is growing as he spins around. “Tell me!” his roar carries across the forest.
“This is the final time I’m saying this. Leave it alone.” I walk away from Darragh. The rain batters down heavier now like it knows our voices need to be kept hushed.
“No!” Hands slam into my back and I stumble into a tree. Hugging it I use it to try to get my guard back up.
My anger rises like a tide and I want to contain it so I try to walk away. But he pushes me again. “Tell me now. I want to know. Did you hurt her? Did I see it?”
I swing around not able to control myself. “I am the only person who has protected you, so stop this. It won’t end well.” I warn him but I know he won’t listen. His mind is frantically searching for some explanation of what he thinks happened.
“I need to know.” Right now I’m not sure if it’s the rain or tears that trickle down his face.
“There is no going back Darragh if you go down this road.”
He steps closer. “I’m already standing on the road brother.”
I hate him for this; I hate him for not letting it go. But most of all I hate him for what he is making me do. “Fine you were there when she died.”
He stumbles back like I’ve just struck him. He looks at me from the corner of his eye as he takes in deep breaths while shaking his head. “I didn’t…” He can’t finish the sentence and I don’t finish it either. He spins around with his back to me before lowering to his hunkers. “Oh God, no.” He’s pleading with someone that isn’t there. “Oh no. No.” He’s standing again and this time I know it’s not the rain that wets his face. He’s looking at his hands now before looking back at me. His brow furrows and he lets out a strangled sob. “Ah Liam, no.” His voice chokes.
When he moves, he looks like his balance is off. I can’t hear what he’s muttering as he looks to the sky. An uncontrollable cry releases from his mouth. His pain is tearing at me as his steps falter like he’s drunk. He’s back on his hunkers shaking his head repeatedly. His eyes dart around the floor of the forest before he crumples. His hands sink into the wet mud and he cries.
I can’t move, I can’t comfort him. A wave of cold assaults me and I know what I am doing is unforgivable.
“Darragh.” My voice doesn’t carry across his cries.
Shouts in the distance have me rushing the few steps to Darragh. “You need to listen to me. It’s over. It’s buried. We are the only ones who know.” He w
on’t look up and I get down on my knees. I’m holding his face in my hands as he tries to pull away.
“We need to tell them.” His broken voice has me reeling back.
Panic rushes through me. My hand collides with his cheek. “You need to pull it together now. They are coming. You need to pull it together.”
“Darragh, Liam.” Shane’s voice is closer now.
I grip Darragh again. “You will keep it together, or they will kill you,” I warn him and he’s nodding like he’s waking up. “My neck is on the line too.” I shake him and start to rise. My suit is covered in mud. I need to fix my appearance. I button up my shirt and fix my tie as Shane comes into view. Darragh gets up, but he’s still not fully present, his mind still shattered in a million pieces.
“I found him, call off the search party. Just another case of Darragh being Darragh.” I give Darragh a warning look but he’s not even looking at me.
“Are you on drugs?” Shane’s anger ignites as he steps towards Darragh.
Darragh’s head snaps up and the pain in his eyes has me stepping in front of him.
“Leave him,” I warn Shane and he tightens his fists.
“Why do you always protect him?” I don’t answer the question that I’m always asked.
“You better return and tell everyone he’s fine,” I say but Shane tries to look around me.
“He needs help Liam.” Shane leaves, and the relief is short lived as I turn to Darragh.
He’s staring at me. “How can you look at me?”
“Let’s get back,” I say and let him walk in front of me. His steps are so unsure; his hands hang at his side. He holds himself like a man who has given up.
CHAPTER TWELVE
SVETLANA
Hours pass, I don’t know if the day has turned into night but it feels like forever that I wait in Liam’s bedroom. I’m kicking myself for being so stupid, now I would pay a hefty price. I shiver again just thinking of my uncle. What would he do to me this time?
My head snaps up as I hear movement in the living space. I rush to the door but don’t dare open it. Someone is moving around. Pressing my ear to the door I try to listen. Footsteps sound heavy and they are coming towards the bedroom door. I rush back and I clear the area as it opens. Liam drips water onto the floor. His brow is cut and his jaw red. Mud clings to his clothes and I take another step back as he steps into the room. I want to ask what happened, but he goes to his wardrobe and removes his suit jacket. His tie follows it onto the ground before he unbuttons his shirt. I’m holding my breath as he pulls his shirt down. His tanned wide back is covered in a huge tattoo of a black dragon. It shifts under his muscles as he removes the shirt. I’m waiting for his trousers to be removed but he pulls out a black t-shirt from the press and pulls it on. His hair is still damp. It’s like he remembers I’m here and he glances at me but I’m dismissed so quickly that it stings.
