by Amy Cecil
“Actually, it looks better than what we were served on the Amity,” Elizabeth said. She began to eat and then added, “If I may ask, Captain, where is home?”
I hesitated at first. I was afraid that if I mentioned my original home it might give my identity away, but decided that it most likely would not. “Originally, Derbyshire—that is, up until about eleven years ago. Now I live in the West Indies, in Nassau.”
“You live in Nassau? What is it like?” she asked curiously.
I enjoyed the fact that she was making small talk. I replied, “Like any other city, I imagine, just with a very tropical climate.”
“I see,” she said. She resumed eating and the silence between us was deafening.
“Where, may I ask, do you live?” I asked. I was not sure I really wanted to know, but at that moment I would have done anything to break the silence between us.
“Currently I live at Euston Hall in Suffolk. It is Thomas’ family home and after Bash’s … I mean, my husband’s death, I thought it best that Thomas and I remain there. My original family home is in Hertfordshire, but my father has long since passed our estate at Longbourn to my cousin and has moved in with Thomas and me. My sister and her husband still reside in Hertfordshire,” she replied.
“I am sorry about your husband’s passing.” Even after all that had transpired between us, the hateful words and the hurt feelings, I had never wanted her to suffer. I could see by the look on her face that she had truly loved her husband and that his death had hit her hard. “If I may, madam, how did your husband die? He must have been very young.”
She smiled sadly. “He was very young. We had only been married nine years when he passed. He traveled to India on a goodwill visit for the Crown. When he returned, he became deathly ill. The doctors say it was cholera. That was just over a year ago.”
I could see that her heart was still broken and it tugged on my heartstrings to see her so sad. It was, however, refreshing to converse with her without any heated words. We were actually talking like two acquaintances who were just getting to know each other. I thought, Perhaps for this brief moment in time she can forget her anger towards me and find out more about the man I am.
She finished her dinner and asked, “How long must I remain here, Captain? I should like to go be with my son.”
A brief moment in time indeed. She is already trying to be rid of me. “He should be finished with his meal shortly. Smead is to bring him here when he is done and the two of you may return to your cabin.” I paused for a moment and then asked, “I presume that you find your accommodations comfortable?”
“Yes, Captain,” she replied.
She was being very subdued and subordinate and it was driving me crazy. The more we spoke the more it irked me. I wanted her ire. I wanted her feistiness. I had missed it for many long years. “Your Grace, is there nothing you wish to say to me?” I asked. I knew I was asking for her anger, but I needed to see some emotion from her. Anger was better than nothing. The last display of emotion I had seen from her was when she spoke of her husband, which was completely understandable. But for the remainder of the conversation she had given me nothing.
“Of course not, Captain, why would you think such a thing?” she responded demurely.
I had been so pleased to have her company earlier that I had not noticed this change in her. It infuriated me and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. “Do you not wish to know more about your father?”
“What kind of daughter would I be if I did not care to know more about my father? Of course I do.” She paused briefly and then added, “But every time I have tried to discuss him with you, you silence me. I do not wish to be scolded anymore and so I think that it is fair to assume that if you have word about my father, you will tell me.” She looked at me quite determinedly and added, “And I also think that it is fair to assume to you will not hurt my father, or my son and me for that matter, until England acquiesces to your demands, whatever they may be. Am I right, Captain?”
Without raising her voice, without calling me out, she had just put me in my place. I did not know whether to put her over my knee for her blatant obstinacy or to kiss her. While I preferred the latter, she most definitely deserved the former. It was going to be an interesting voyage.
A few minutes later, Smead returned with Thomas. Thomas ran to his mother’s arms upon seeing her, rambling about being made an honorary pirate by the crew.
“Just wait until I tell Grandfather. He will be so pleased that the crew made me a pirate, Mama. Mama? Mama? They made me a pirate! Did you hear me, Mama?” Thomas questioned.
I watched Elizabeth intently in that moment. I could see that she was proud of her son, proud that he was able to adapt to the circumstances in which they found themselves. But I could also see sadness. It was not the sadness of being held here on my ship. It was not even sadness for her father. No, this sadness was that of a mother who wanted so much more for her son. Sure, Thomas had titles and riches, but I could see that what she wanted for him money could not buy.
Finally she came out of her daydream and answered Thomas, “Yes, darling. I heard you. That is wonderful news. But it has been a very long day and it is way past your bedtime.” She looked up at me and then asked, “Captain, may my son and I retire for the night?”
“Of course, Your Grace.” I rose from my seat as she got up from the table. I suppose part of the gentleman in me will always remain. As Elizabeth and Thomas began to walk toward the door, I called after them, “Your Grace, now that we are underway, you will no longer be locked in your cabin. You are free to move about the ship and, if you choose, to come up on deck for some fresh air.” I hesitated for a moment, but then added, “But please, be careful. I have instructed my crew that you are not to be harmed in any way. However, my men have been at sea for a very long time and I cannot be responsible for their actions if they are provoked by a beautiful woman.”
She looked at me curiously, nodded her understanding, and proceeded to leave.
Chapter 8
Elizabeth
When Thomas and I returned to our cabin, I immediately got him ready for bed. As I had told him in the captain’s dining quarters, it was way past his bedtime.
“Mama, grandfather was right,” Thomas said as he was getting undressed.
“What do you mean, darling? Right about what?” I asked.
“He was right about this trip. He said it would be an adventure. He was right, Mama! We are on a pirate adventure with Captain Sterling and his crew,” Thomas said.
“Thomas darling, we have talked about this before and I need to make sure you understand something. The men on this ship are pirates, but they are not nice men. They steal things that do not belong to them and they hurt people. As much as I want you to make the best of our situation, I need you to understand that this is not play. They are not playacting and this is real life. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Yes, Mama, I do. I do understand, but I also think you are not completely right about the captain and his crew. Yes, you are right about one thing, they are pirates. But Mama, this pirate is different than the ones that grandfather told me about. This pirate has a soft side; I really think he does.” Thomas hesitated as if he was not sure he should go on, but he did anyway. “And you know what, Mama? I think he likes us,” Thomas added.
“Oh sweetheart, you are just a child. You do not understand the gravity of our situation.” I wanted to explain, but I thought I might scare him. So I simply added, “Just promise me that you will be careful when you are around the members of the crew or the captain. Can you at least do that for me?” I asked.
He nodded and smiled. I kissed him on the forehead and bid him goodnight. As I was approaching the door to leave I heard him say under his breath, “I understand more than you think.”
When I returned to the sitting area of my cabin, exhaustion finally overtook my body. My nerves were shot from the day’s ordeals and my worry for my father. A glas
s of brandy would be wonderful right now but my guess was that the chances of obtaining one in my present situation were probably very slim. I looked around the room, in cabinets and drawers, but could not find anything. I thought to myself, Perhaps if I go up on deck and ask a sailor … the captain did say that I was free to go up on deck. But then the warning in his last words came back to me. Perhaps it would be best for me to stay put, at least until morning.
With that last thought, I readied myself for bed and tried to get some sleep. But my sleep was not restful and I tossed and turned throughout the night, experiencing very unsettling dreams.
There he is, Mr. Darcy, standing before me telling me that he ardently admires and loves me. My ire rises as I informed him of exactly how I feel about him. He moves in, anger clouding his eyes, that for a moment it occurs to me that perhaps I should be scared. But then I see something else in his eyes. Passion. As he moves in closer, I know without a doubt that he is going to kiss me…
I awoke in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. Trying to get my wits about me, I looked around the room and realized where I was. Surprisingly, I was relieved to discover that I was still aboard Captain Sterling’s ship and not back at the parsonage facing Mr. Darcy.
I thought to myself, why on earth would I dream about Mr. Darcy? I had not seen or spoken to that gentleman in over ten years. Even our mutual acquaintances had not seen or spoken to him. It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth. It was a shame; really, it had not been long after I received his letter that I forgave him for all the things of which I had accused him. He had been right about my family and their lack of propriety. He had been right about a lot of things, but I was too prideful to see it back then. I had hoped to tell him that one day, but he never returned. Still, that was for the best. Perhaps if he had returned, I would have never met Bash and then I would not have had Thomas. No, I was sure that everything had turned out as it was supposed to.
I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind would not allow me. I kept thinking back to my dream of Mr. Darcy but I could not make any sense of it. It was nonsensical to even have thought of him.
Restless, I got out of bed and walked over to my trunk. I hoped that when the pirates had retrieved my things from the Amity, they had brought everything. I had been reading The Talisman by Walter Scott and was enjoying it tremendously. I had already read The Betrothed and enjoyed it as well. Bash had always been interested in the Crusades and would talk about them often. Reading Mr. Scott’s books sometimes made me feel as if Bash was with me and we were discussing them like we used to. Bash had been an avid reader like myself and the library at Euston Hall was like no other I had ever seen. I remembered Carolina Bingley talking about the library at Pemberley, Mr. Darcy’s estate, stating it was the finest in the country. There I go again, thinking about Mr. Darcy. Hang these thoughts, I need to find my book.
As I was rummaging through my trunk, I accidentally knocked over a basin that was sitting on the table next to me. It made a loud crash as it shattered into a million pieces. The noise probably woke up the entire ship.
As I was carefully picking up the pieces of shattered glass, there was a knock at my door. That knock convinced me that I had indeed woken up the ship. Setting the pieces aside, I got up, put on my dressing gown, and walked over to the door. Standing in the doorway was Captain Sterling.
“Are you alright, Your Grace?” he asked, sounding more concerned than I would have expected. He added, “I heard a crash coming from your room.”
“Yes, Captain, I am fine. I am so sorry. I was rummaging through my trunk looking for a book and accidentally knocked over the basin on the table next to it.” He did not say anything and I hastily added, “I can have it replaced.”
“That will not be necessary. All that matters is that you were not hurt,” he said. Again, I was taken aback by the concern in his voice.
He lingered in the doorway for several seconds, which seemed like an eternity, as neither of us spoke. We just stared at each other. Until that moment, I had not realized how handsome he was. He was tall, with broad shoulders. His hair was dark brown but streaked with the sun and long, hanging to about the middle of his back. Earlier that day he had it tied back, but now it hung loosely around his face. He had a small beard and mustache, and the thought crossed my mind that it would tickle my lips if we kissed.
Elizabeth, remember yourself! I admonished myself. I usually did not have thoughts of men like this, and could only remember one other time when I had wondered what it would be like to kiss a man. Oh hell, there I go thinking about Mr. Darcy again. That thought saddened me a bit because when I thought about it, I had never experienced that feeling with Bash.
But perhaps I was not being myself because Captain Sterling not only stood in my doorway, but he stood there half-naked as well. His state of dress was definitely improper, with his shirt unbuttoned to the waist and open for all to see. I could not help but notice that his skin was tan and smooth. His abdomen was chiseled to the point that I could see every muscle line. It did not take me long to realize that he was absolutely beautiful. He left me speechless and I could not take my eyes from him.
Finally, he said, “May I ask what book you were looking for?”
“The Talisman,” I replied. I doubted that he knew anything about the book as I was sure he probably could not read.
“Ah, yes, Walter Scott. Is that not part of his Tales of the Crusaders series?” he added.
That was the last thing I had expected him to say. “Why yes, Captain, it is. Are you familiar with Walter Scott?” I asked.
“I am, he is one of my favorite authors.” He paused briefly and then added, “Just like you, I enjoy reading as well.”
Just like me? How does he know that I like to read? I thought about that for a minute and deduced that because I had been looking for a book, he assumed I liked to read. Why else would he make that assumption? We had not known each other four and twenty hours yet.
When I did not respond, he added, “If you do not find your book, I think I may have a copy in my cabin. I have a small library on the ship with some of my favorites. You are more than welcome to borrow any of them.”
Surprised again, I replied, “Thank you, Captain, I just may.”
“I hope you do.” He paused for a moment then continued, “Well, I should let you rest.” When I did not respond, he added, “I realize that this has been a trying day for you and your son. And although I am not sorry that you are on this ship, I do apologize for any discomfort I or my crew may have brought you.”
The man was perplexing to say the least. Earlier if I had been asked to describe him with one word, I would have used “beast”. But now he was showing me a kinder, softer side. I was afraid to admit to myself that I was beginning to like him. It made me feel more comfortable around him and gave me the courage to ask, “May I ask you something?”
“You may.”
“You said earlier that my father had been taken to an island and would remain there as your guest. Is it fair to assume that he is not enjoying the island’s amenities and he is being held as your prisoner?”
“It is,” he replied. By his demeanor I could tell that he was not going to elaborate on this remark.
“Captain, surely you can understand that I worry for his safety.” I was hoping that he would give me more information about my father in the hopes to keep my worries at bay.
“Rest assured, madam, that as long as you do as you are told, your father will remain safe.” He then turned and left my room.
I take back my earlier thought about beginning to like him.
Chapter 9
Captain Sterling
As usual, I awoke at early dawn. I had been unable to sleep the previous night and so I had resorted to roaming the ship. When I had heard the crash come from Elizabeth’s room so late, I became worried. I hurried to her room to ensure that she was all right, only to find her looking more beautiful than ever. She was obviously dressed for bed
, but to my disappointment she had managed to cover herself up with a dressing gown. Her hair was loose, long and resting on her neck, long enough to just rest across her breasts. My entrancement with the goddess before me continued long after I had left her room.
Everything in me wanted to push my way into her room and pull her into my arms. I wanted to devour her body until she could say nothing but call out my name in pleasure. But, even after all these years, the gentleman inside me still remained. I could not bring myself to do so, at least not without her asking for it. And deep down, I was afraid of her rejecting me yet again.
So instead, I had bid her goodnight and left her room, only to find myself tossing and turning for the remainder of the night with images of her vivid in my mind. I had thought to myself, this is sheer torture. I should have just let her go with the rest of the passengers on the Amity. Why did I subject myself to this constant reminder that she will never be mine?
So now, at the crack of dawn, I found myself wide-awake and thinking about her. I decided that fresh air is what I need to clear my head. I hoped that a nice brisk walk on deck would cure my anxiety.
When I arrived above deck, the sun was just creeping up over the horizon. The view was breathtaking and I walked back to the stern and just took in the magnificent view. I had not been there long when I heard the voice of an angel.
“Good morning, Captain. I see you are an early riser too.”
I turned to find Elizabeth standing behind me. “Good morning, Your Grace. I trust you slept well.”
“As well as can be expected, Captain, under the circumstances. I had a series of bad dreams last night that caused me to awake in a state. I was hoping the fresh air would do me some good.”
“I am sure it will. It always seems to help me.” I stepped away from the center of the stern and invited her to step forward. “The view is beautiful this morning. Look.”
