by Amy Cecil
I took a deep breath and replied, “Well, Mr. Bennet, it is funny that you should ask that. You see, lately I have been reevaluating my life and I do believe that I am due for a change. I have lived on this island for eleven years with my ship and the sea as my playground. Perhaps it is time that I return to civilized society.” I looked over at Elizabeth and smiled, but she refused to look at me.
“I see. And, if I may, why have you never married? Do you think you might ever marry?” Mr. Bennet asked.
“Papa!” Elizabeth admonished. “How could you ask the captain such a thing?”
“My dearest Lizzie, Captain Sterling knows that it is well within my right to ask such a question, under the circumstances. Would you not agree, captain?”
I smiled. In most conversations, his question would have been considered impertinent. But in this situation, this was a father who dearly loved his daughter and was doing what he could to ensure her happiness. “I do agree, Mr. Bennet,” I replied confidently. “And now, I would like to answer your question.” Elizabeth looked mortified by the direction this conversation was taking, but these were things she needed to hear and if she was not willing to hear them now, I would make damn sure she heard them later.
“I have not married yet because I have been waiting for the right woman. I thought I found her a long time ago, but I think in that day and time, it was not meant to be. Unfortunately for me, there will not be another woman for me but her. I will find her again, Mr. Bennet, and you can rest assured that when I do, she will become my wife.”
“That is very good to hear, captain. Thank you for indulging an old man,” Mr. Bennet replied.
“I will always be happy to answer any questions you may have, Mr. Bennet.”
Mr. Bennet resumed eating and the others followed suit, except for Elizabeth. She was looking rather pale. I hoped that she was not becoming ill and that it was just the conversation that was getting to her.
“Captain, would you ring for Maggie, please? I would like to have Mrs. Kelly tend to Thomas. Suddenly, I am not feeling well and I would like to retire for the night,” Elizabeth said.
“Of course,” I said, looking at her curiously. She was still avoiding making eye contact with me. I rang for Maggie and within a few minutes she was in the dining room. “Maggie, please take Thomas down with Mrs. Kelly. The duchess is not feeling well and is going to retire. Please send Dawson up to tend to her.”
“As you wish, sir.” Maggie then turned to Elizabeth and said, “I hope you feel better soon, Your Grace.”
“Thank you, Maggie. I am sure that after some rest, I will feel as good as new,” Elizabeth replied.
She got up from the table and turned toward the group, saying, “If you all will excuse me.” She then leaned over to Thomas and kissed him on the cheek. “Sweet dreams, my little man. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mama,” Thomas replied as Elizabeth turned and left the dining room. Thomas then got up and went over to Maggie and they too left the dining room.
After everyone else had finished their dinner, I suggested to Winston and Mr. Bennet that we enjoy cigars and brandy in the parlor. However, both Winston and Mr. Bennet declined due to the lateness of the hour. When the gentlemen left, Georgiana and I were the only two left in the dining room.
She said, “Brother, I must ask. Have you rekindled a relationship with the duchess?”
“And if I have?” I replied.
“I know you love her. After meeting her, I can see why you love her—but she is a duchess, a widow, and she has a son who is his father’s heir. You cannot just return to England and take her husband’s place, just like that.” When I did not respond, she continued, “Did you hear me? Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Yes, Georgiana, I understand. But I will return as Fitzwilliam Darcy, not Max Sterling. Fitzwilliam Darcy had a life and quite a reputation,” I stated.
“Yes, you did. But that was eleven years ago. Do you really think that you can just stroll back into society as if you have never been gone? What will you tell people about your whereabouts for all these years?”
“You make a valid point. I will need to think this through some more, but I assure you, it can be done.”
“I admire your determination, brother, but at what cost?” she asked.
Stubbornly, I replied, “Cost? There will not be any cost. Let me be clear, Georgiana—I will return with Elizabeth and she will become my wife.”
“From your lips to God’s ears,” Georgiana said. “I wish you all the luck in the world, brother. You are going to need it.”
I shook my head. “Thank you, Georgiana, for that vote of confidence.” Frustrated with this conversation, I added, “I think I will retire as well. Goodnight, sister.”
“Goodnight, brother.”
Chapter 22
Elizabeth
I had been mortified by my father’s line of questioning at dinner. It had felt like the walls were beginning to close in on me. I had to leave that room. But even once I was back in my bedroom, I still felt very claustrophobic and I was having trouble breathing. Calm yourself, I thought to myself. He loves you and he made it quite clear that he would do anything in his power to keep you. Is that not enough? But the questions in my head would not stop and I surely did not know what to think.
If I had lived in a perfect world, I knew I would spend the rest of my days with Max. I loved him. But I did not live in a perfect world. After several minutes of contemplation, there came a knock at my inner door. I had never asked where that door led, but I guessed that it led to Max’s bedchamber. Maggie had pointed out that his room was right next to mine.
Uncertainly, I asked, “Who is it?”
“It is I,” Max said in that incredibly sultry voice of his.
I am not going to win this … I will not be able to let him go. “Come in,” I replied.
The door opened slowly. I half-expected him to be waving a white flag as he entered the room. He knew I was upset about the conversation at dinner and I was sure he knew that my sudden departure was not because I am unwell. “I think we need to talk,” he said.
“I do believe you are correct,” I replied.
He gestured toward the bed, indicating his desire to sit next to me, and asked, “May I?”
“You may,” I replied.
He sat down next to me and immediately I could feel the heat pulsating between us. He was extremely close and even though he was dressed more appropriately than he had been on the ship, he was still very sexy. His long hair was tied back neatly and his shirt was actually buttoned. He still did not wear the clothes that he wore when I first made his acquaintance all those years ago, but at least he was decent. He had always been handsome, even back then, but I found that I preferred his more relaxed manner of attire. He reached up and tucked a loose curl of hair behind my ear and caressed my face.
“I am glad that we are finally alone,” he said. Then he added, “I hope you do not mind that I put you in this particular bedchamber.”
“No, I do not mind,” I replied. We were making small talk, avoiding the pertinent things that we needed to discuss.
Finally, I said, “Max, I am very sorry about my father’s impertinence tonight. He should not have pried into your private affairs…”
“Elizabeth, my love, you have no reason to be sorry. Your father loves you and Thomas very much. I would not expect anything less of him,” he replied.
“Yes, he does love us, but he still should not have brought up your attachments or lack thereof at dinner. It was very thoughtless of him,” I replied.
“No, Elizabeth, it was not thoughtless. It was the action of a father who is very concerned about the happiness of a most beloved daughter. I found no fault in his questions.”
“Oh, really? Now that does surprise me. Eleven years ago, you would have called him out for being so impertinent. As a matter a fact, I remember you even saying that my family…now what was it? Oh yes: ‘lacked propriety.’ Did
I get that right?” I asked sarcastically. I hoped he knew that I was teasing him.
He looked at me in surprise and then leaned in very close to my ear. His breath on my neck made my skin prickle with excitement and I could feel my own breathing growing heaving. My heart was beating so loudly that I was sure he could hear it. Very softly, he feathered kisses behind my ear and down my throat, speaking as he went in a very sexy whisper. He said, “Eleven years ago, I said those exact words. Eleven years ago, I would have taken notice of his impertinence. But what you have failed to see is that I not only changed my name, Elizabeth, I changed myself. I am not the man you knew eleven years ago, nor do I want to be. I am the man now who loves you beyond reason. Who wants nothing more than to take you in his arms and love you until the morning hours.”
It was a good thing that I was sitting because I could feel my entire body go weak. I leaned into him and turned my head to face him. Our lips were so close and I waited quite impatiently for his lips to touch mine. As he came in closer, his lips grazed my own, teasing me beyond sanity. When I tried to take what I wanted from him, he backed away and chuckled.
“You are mean and hateful, Max Sterling!” I chided.
He continued to laugh as he rose to his feet. He reached for my hand and pulled me up against him. I would not look at him, so he took his hand and guided my chin until our eyes met. “I love you, Elizabeth Bennet Wellesley. I will love you until the day I die.” When he was finished talking, he took my mouth with a fierceness that I had never experienced before. His kiss totally consumed me and I began kissing him back with the same ferocity. His hands were travelling all over my body with an urgency that made me want to undress him. I reached up and began to unbutton his shirt until it was left hanging open, just as he’d worn it on the ship. My hands roamed over his rock-hard abdomen and when I began to run a finger down the hairline that traveled from his chest down to his waistband, his breath hitched.
He took a step back and gazed at me. “Take what you want from me, because every part of my being is yours,” he pleaded.
I took a step closer to him and began to unsnap his pants. My hands traveled along his pant line and I swear I could feel him trembling at my touch. I dropped his pants. My hands roamed over his behind and then made their way to his manhood. He was magnificent and I was finding it difficult to take my eyes from him. I gently pushed him toward the bed and when his legs hit the side, I gave him another push so that he fell onto the bed. I began to remove my dress and my undergarments until I was just as naked as he. I crawled on top of him, taking in his muscled body.
“You are driving me crazy, my love,” he said as I trailed kisses along his pelvic bone. When my lips hovered over his erection he moaned and when my lips touched him, he growled. That only encouraged me further as I took him completely into my mouth and began to suck. The sounds that came from him were primal and they only excited me more. He tasted salty. He was so hard and velvety smooth at the same time; it was intoxicating.
“My love, if you do not stop now, I am afraid that I will not be able to stop my release,” he said breathlessly.
I continued my exploration of him and not long after his plea, I heard one final deep growl as his juices shot into my mouth. I did not know what had come over me, as I had never done that before. But looking at his naked body, all I could think about was what it would be like to taste him. Now that I knew, I did not think I could ever get enough of him.
I crawled up his body and found his lips. I kissed him completely and I was sure he could taste himself on my tongue. It was one of the most erotic moments of my life. One I will never forget as long as I live.
“You are perfection, Elizabeth, pure perfection,” he said, completely sated. “May I have a turn now?” he asked.
“A turn?” I questioned. “Why, whatever do you mean?” I teased.
He rolled me over and positioned me on my back. He knelt between my legs, resting on his heels and staring at my naked body. I was beginning to feel a bit self-conscious and I had to ask, “Max? What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer. “Max?” I asked again. Still nothing. It was if he was transfixed by something and absolutely could not remove his eyes from my body. He was starting to scare me.
“Max!” I said a bit more firmly.
He finally moved his gaze from my body to my face and said, “You are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever beheld.”
“You are not so bad yourself, Captain Sterling,” I replied.
He braced himself with his hands on either side of me and leaned in to kiss me. He took complete control of my mouth and then began to trail kisses down my body. When he reached my core and his velvet tongue slipped through my folds he ignited a fire in me that could not be extinguished. As he continued with his ministrations I totally lost sight of reason. All forms of reality slipped away and I was falling down into what I could believe to be heaven. My body began to convulse and as much as I tried to push him away to stop because the pressure was too intense, he continued. Before I knew it, my body was finding its release in the most earth-shattering orgasm I had ever experienced. Even after I reached my climax he continued to lick my juices, which only excited me more. I had to have him inside me and I could not wait any longer.
I reached down and tugged at his shoulder, encouraging him to come to me. “Max, now. Please?” I begged.
He looked up at me and said, “Your wish is my command, my love.”
When he entered me, he slipped slowly in and the fullness of having him inside me was intoxicating. Once he was completely inside he began to move in and out as my womanhood clenched onto him greedily. The friction was intoxicating and again my body began to feel the pressure of my orgasm. Just as I was about to release again, Max shuddered and we reached our climax together.
Being with this man was unlike anything I had experienced before and I realized that I could not live without him. I had known I loved him, but before tonight, I had believed I loved him enough to let him go. But now I knew and I loved him more than that. We will make this work!
Afterwards, we lay in bed, his arm around me as my head rested upon his chest.
“How do you like the island?” he asked.
“It is beautiful, Max, really beautiful. This tropical paradise of a life seems to suit you. I remember when I first made your acquaintance; you were all stuffed shirt and proper. You are more relaxed now, more carefree.” I hoped he would see what I was trying to say without coming out and saying the words.
“I assume you think that I cannot be this relaxed back at Pemberley or wherever we may choose to live?”
Now he was being presumptuous. “We?” I asked.
“Of course we. I have been trying to tell you for several days now and I cannot seem to get through that thick skull of yours. I am not leaving you. I have waited eleven years for you; eleven very long and lonely years without you. I meant every word I said at dinner. You are all I have ever wanted. I have come alive again in your presence and I will not allow my heart to be absent from you again,” he said adamantly.
“Max, are you really serious about all this? Are you willing to give all this up for me and Thomas?” I asked.
“Without a doubt,” he replied. “But this is not entirely my decision. What are your thoughts about all of this?” he asked.
“Honestly?” I asked.
“You know I abhor deception. I would not expect you to be anything less than honest with me.”
“Well, prepare yourself for something dreadful. When I left the Absolution today I had every intention of telling you that this would not work. I had every argument ready for when you refused to listen to me. I was even prepared to make my arrangements to leave the island as soon as possible, even if it meant that I would have to endure another ocean voyage so quickly. But most importantly, even if it meant that I would leave you.”
“But you did not,” he stated.
“No, I did not. Up until about an hour ago, I was
planning to do all of that.”
“And now?” he asked.
“And now,” I repeated. For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words. I knew what I wanted to say and I knew how I felt, but somehow I was finding it difficult to express to him my feelings.
“Elizabeth?” he asked eagerly.
“And now, I cannot imagine ever being parted from you. I never thought I would feel this way about another human being, but my feelings are so very strong and they are so new to me. Do not get me wrong; I loved my husband very much. He was a good man, steadfast and strong, and I respected him. But with you, my love goes so much deeper. With you, there is a connection between us that I do not understand. With you, there is passion and heat. When I look at you I lose all sense of reason. I have never felt love like this before and I have finally realized that I do not ever want to be without it again. You are intoxicating and all-consuming to me.”
When I finished, he remained silent. I could not see his face, as I was still resting my head on his chest as we lay in bed. I so wanted to see his expression—I was feeling that perhaps I overstepped and said too much. Oh God, please say something, I pleaded to myself.
After several minutes of agonizing silence, he finally spoke. “Do you have any idea how happy you have made me? I have loved you for so long … to have you in my arms and telling me you have the same feelings is like a dream come true.”
“If it is any inclination as to how happy you have made me, then I think I may have a pretty good idea how happy you are,” I said teasingly. However, we both knew we could not stay on this island and we both knew that I had to return to England. The question hung in the room like a black cloud just waiting for one of us to ask it.
I had learned that Max could avoid things like this, as his life at sea made him more carefree. Mr. Darcy would have asked the question already. I still found it hard to believe that they were the same man and even harder to refer to him as Fitzwilliam or Mr. Darcy. He was my Max.
The silence was unbearable and so I relented and asked, “Now that we have made our feelings for one another clear, where do we go from here?”
