Ana Leigh

by The Mackenzies

  “And those graves marked Matthew and Linda?”

  “Matthew was Luke’s and Honey’s son. The precious little one died of consumption in infancy. Linda was Cleve’s and Adee’s daughter. She was stillborn. Flint and . . .” She suddenly stopped and drew in a deep, shuddering breath.

  “What is it, Mrs. MacKenzie?” Rose asked.

  “Flint and I have been fortunate; we’ve never lost a child. I can’t bear to think of what it would be like.” Garnet MacKenzie turned her head and stared right into Rose’s eyes. “But I know that part of us would have died with Zach if he hadn’t survived.” Her eyes were moist as she grasped Rose’s hand. “Forgive me, Rose, but I overheard part of your conversation with Josh. Between Cynthia and Zach, my husband and I have pieced together what you did. You weren’t struggling to save your own life—you were fighting to save Zach’s. Don’t believe for a moment that you don’t have the mettle to be a MacKenzie wife. You belong here, my dear. And we’d welcome you with open arms.”

  After a soft squeeze of Rose’s hand, she left as silently as she’d arrived.

  The next morning, Rose sat on the wagon seat beside Zach for Will Grainger’s burial. She glanced in sympathy at the Rangers and the MacKenzie family, who stood with bowed heads and saddened faces as they said this final good-bye to their comrade and friend.

  With stark awareness, she realized that every man present was serving or had served in the Texas Rangers. And his offspring were sure to follow in that same tradition. Despite Garnet MacKenzie’s words of assurance Rose knew she wouldn’t be able to mourn this stoically. How could she bear it if it had been Zach who’d fallen in the line of duty, instead of Will Grainger?

  She stole a glance at Zach. He looked so pale, and his stricken countenance was a grim reminder of the anguish he was suffering. Though his wounds were healing, this funeral was taking a toll on what meager strength he’d recovered.

  Maybe it was a reaction setting in, but whatever the reason, she had to get away to think the whole thing through. To try and understand what his motives for deceiving her had been. As much as it did not—could not—lessen her love for him, the deception made her heart ache. She had to go away and make peace with it; she knew she couldn’t do that at the Triple M. She’d be surrounded by people who loved him too much to be objective.

  Although she’d vowed to never leave him again, she had to go back to Brimstone. Zach was past any danger, so she could leave with a clear conscience. And when he was well, she would come back and hear his explanation.

  But she’d have to do it quickly. If Zach even suspected her intentions, he’d talk her out of leaving again.

  If she was lucky, she could get to Calico before the northbound train came through, but she would have to borrow the ticket fare from Emily.

  When they retured to the house, Zach went to bed and Rose went straight to her bedroom to get her few possessions. Removing Zach’s Colt from the pocket of her skirt, she stared at the pistol for a long moment. His life revolved around the use of a gun; hers, a Harvey Girl uniform. Could it be true they were as far apart as these symbols of their chosen lives indicated? Sighing deeply, she folded her clothing and tied it up in a package.

  When she stopped to express her thanks to his parents for their hospitality, the couple was astonished.

  “Rose, I don’t understand,” Garnet said. “Does Zach know you’re leaving?”

  “It’s an emergency. There’s something I must do in Brimstone.” At least that wasn’t a lie. “Zach’s sleeping, and I don’t want to wake him. The funeral was very difficult for him. I’ll return as soon as possible.”

  “Is there anything we can do to help, Rose?” the reticent Flint asked. His words were few, but Rose doubted he ever missed a sight or sound around him.

  “No, sir. It’s something I must do myself.”

  “Reckon you’ll need a ride to town,” he said. “I’ll hitch up the team and drive you.”

  “I’d appreciate that, Mr. MacKenzie. I want to say a quick good-bye to Emily.” She hugged Garnet. “Thank you again, Mrs. MacKenzie. I love Zach. I’d never hurt him, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  Garnet cupped Rose’s cheeks between her hands, and stared deeply into her eyes. “I know that, dear. Have a safe journey.”

  It took every bit of Rose’s willpower to leave the house without stopping for one final look at Zach, but her courage and determination remained steadfast. She went straight to Emily’s house to seek her aid.

  “I have a favor to ask of you, Em,” Rose said, when Emily came to the door.

  Emily frowned. “Come on in, Rose. I’ve seen that look before. You’re about to do something that you know I’m not going to like.”

  “I need twenty-five dollars.”

  “Oh, is that all? You had me scared for a moment.” She dug into a sugar bowl in the kitchen cupboard and handed Rose the money. “If you’re going shopping, I’ll join you.”

  “I’m not going shopping, Em; I’m going back to Brimstone.”

  “You mean now?”

  “Yes. Zach’s father is driving me to the depot.”

  “Rose, what’s going on? Did you and Zach have an argument?”

  “No, he doesn’t even know I’m leaving.”

  “Rose, he’s going to be devastated.”

  “I haven’t much time, but I’ll try to explain,” she said. “There are some things I have to think over, and I need some time alone. Away from Texas Rangers, sheriffs, outlaws, the United States Cavalry, and . . . forgive me, but, away from Mackenzies!”

  “Think about what, Rose?”

  “Em, I don’t know if I belong here.”

  “I thought the same thing when Josh brought me here, Rose. But this family embraced me, and they will you, too. They already adore you for having saved Zach’s life. So, there’s something more than that. What aren’t you telling me?”

  Rose fought the tears that threatened. “Zach lied to me, Em. He never told me he was a Texas Ranger until he thought he was dying. Until then, I believed he was a drifter. I don’t know the real Zach MacKenzie; I only know the make-believe one. He didn’t even tell me he was related to Josh. I asked him when I first met him, and he knew you were my best friend, but he still didn’t admit it. I just don’t know what to think anymore, Em. I have to get away.”

  “Oh, honey, I know how you must feel. Remember, I had to struggle with my love for Josh when I knew he was pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Why don’t you confront Zach and hear what he has to say? He must have had his reasons for keeping the truth from you.”

  “I’m sure he did. But I bared my soul to him, Em. Why didn’t he tell me he was a Texas Ranger? Why didn’t he tell me his family owned a zillion-acre ranch? Instead, he let me go on believing he was a penniless drifter—a member of an outlaw gang. He might have gone to his grave with me believing that.”

  “Rose, I’m not trying to make excuses for him. I’m sure he loves you. He’s told the whole family he wants to marry you. As long as you love each other, nothing’s so bad that you can’t work it out. Believe me, I’m speaking from my own experience. What else matters?”

  “I’m so confused lately I’m not even sure he really loves me. At one time I believed it, but I’m no longer certain, Em. Maybe he’s just grateful to me for helping to save his life.”

  “Oh really, Rose! Now you are talking foolish. If Zach was just grateful, he’d say thank you and that would be it. He wouldn’t marry you out of gratitude. MacKenzies are too fair-minded to do that to anyone. At least go tell him good-bye.”

  “I don’t have the willpower to say good-bye to him, Em, so you have to do it for me. Tell him I’ll be back. I’m not leaving forever; I just have to make peace with it myself.”

  Flint rode up with the buggy, and the two women walked outside. Emily grasped her hands, and her voice broke. “Rose, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

  “I don’t want to do it, Em. But I have to do it.”
<
br />   Holding back her tears, Rose hugged Emily. “Remember, tell Zach I love him. Tell him I’ll be back.” She climbed into the wagon.

  “When, Rose? When?” Emily ran beside the buggy as it moved away.

  “I don’t know. But it will give him time to think things out, too.”

  Rose turned her head and waved good-bye to the lone figure standing on the path. Garnet MacKenzie walked outside and stood next to Emily.

  Chapter 31

  Brimstone

  Rose was utterly miserable. The weight in her chest seemed to be getting heavier, rather than easing with the passing of time. It was impossible to make any rational decision when her treacherous memory kept reminding her of his engaging grin, the sound of his warm chuckle.

  Time and time again in the past two weeks, Rose had questioned why she was doing this to herself. In the final scheme of things, did it matter if she might love him more than he did her? So what if he thought he loved her out of gratitude? At least she’d be with him.

  So why prolong being away from him? Though she’d believed it was good to get away and clear her mind, she hadn’t realized how much her heart had a say in it. All she was accomplishing was denying herself the pleasure of being with him, of seeing him, of tasting his kiss. Oh, how she longed for just the touch of his hand. Hadn’t she learned by almost losing him that every shared moment was a gift to be cherished—not forsaken?

  She had come to understand why he hadn’t told her he was a Texas Ranger sooner, but it hurt, to think he hadn’t trusted her enough to be truthful with her.

  Rose stood up and put on her apron, thinking aloud. “Could it be because he’d intended from the beginning to leave me when it was over?”

  She’d just see about that! Like it or not, he was stuck with her. Tomorrow she was heading back to Calico. She’d rather be miserable with him than without him.

  Rose went to the mirror to pin the bow on her hair. “But if he really loved me—”

  “He does, darlin’.”

  She spun around and there he was, climbing through the window. The familiar grin. The irresistible mischief in his eyes. And in that instant the yoke of doubt lifted, shattered by the pulse-pounding certainty of their love.

  She gloried in that certainty as he walked over to her and cupped her face in the warmth of his palms. His gaze devoured her lovingly.

  “I’ve told you in a dozen different ways, Rosie. But if you want, I’ll say it again. I’ll shout it to the world. I love you.”

  Then he kissed her, and she came alive again, a Sleeping Beauty awakened by the kiss of her prince. Lord, how she loved this man! It had seemed forever since she’d felt the thrill of his touch, the warmth of his love. Any doubt, any reservation, any misconstrued notion she might have harbored became meaningless.

  When breathlessness forced them apart, he held her for a long moment, reacquainting their senses and bodies to the feel of each other. To the peace of mind of being together, their hearts beating as one.

  “Rosie, why did you leave?”

  The moment shattered, returning her to reality. She stepped away and stared at him with eyes widened in shock.

  “You can ask me that? Have you forgotten how you lied and deceived me from the time we met? You were practically on your death bed before you admitted to me that you were a Texas Ranger, and not the drifter you pretended to be.”

  “Rose, I had to do that. I was undercover.”

  “What does that mean—a license to lie? It only proves my point: lawmen can’t be trusted. I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”

  For the first time, she saw him angry. “You know, Rose, you’ve got a couple of pretty twisted values: you could trust me when you thought I was an outlaw, but you can’t now because I’m a lawman. So Sturges was a son of a bitch, and you’ve met up with a couple of rotten lawmen. Well, for evey one you can name, I can name ten decent ones, including my dad, uncles, and cousins. Rangers like Will Grainger, marshals like Pat Garrett, and sheriffs like Ben Morgan. The West is dotted with the graves of honorable lawmen who have died bringing law and order to this country. I’m damn tired of listening to you ridiculing them.”

  “Don’t you try to put me on the defensive, Zach MacKenzie. I’m talking about you and me—truth and trust between us.”

  “Then believe this: there’s a simple explanation why I wasn’t entirely honest with you. In the beginning I couldn’t tell you—I was working undercover. Then it became too late because you were going to marry Rayburn, and he was my prime suspect.”

  “So you didn’t trust me.”

  “Why should I have trusted you? I had Will Grainger’s life to consider. Secondly, you were adamant about marrying a rich man. And you sure as hell made no secret how much you hated lawmen. And for your own good, it was better you didn’t know the truth: if those bastards suspected you knew anything, they’d have tortured you to get it out of you. All I could do was warn you away from Rayburn, but you wouldn’t listen. You thought I was doing it out of jealousy.”

  “I figured out for myself why you kept the truth about Stephen from me. It was one of the doubts I had to come back here and work out alone.”

  “I have to know, Rosie: are you unsure . . . that you love me?”

  “How could you ever think that? If I didn’t love you, nothing you said or did would have hurt me.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. I never meant to hurt you. And I tried like hell not to fall in love with you. Reckon I failed at both. I almost went crazy when I woke up and you were gone.”

  “I always intended to go back, Zach. Didn’t Em tell you?”

  “She told me, but I didn’t know . . . I couldn’t understand why you left.”

  She shook her head in helplessness. “It made sense at the time. I just needed to get away from everyone and settle it all in my mind. Everything had been so hectic. I was hurt that you’d lied to me about your past, and wasn’t even sure how you’d feel about me when you recovered. We’d gone through a lot together, and I thought you might have convinced yourself that you were in love with me. My leaving would give you a chance to think it out, too.”

  He snorted. “You’ve got that right, Rosie. I did a lot of thinking— thinking that I’d go out of my mind before I could get out of that bed and come after you.”

  His expression sobered, and he raised his hands to her cheeks. “Rosie . . .” The words seemed to catch in his throat. “Rosie, how could you do that to us?” Heartache glimmered in his eyes, tears in hers.

  Sitting down, he pulled her down on his lap. “I want you to listen carefully—and believe—everything I’m about to tell you, because it’s probably the longest speech I’ll ever make, and talking about myself’s never come easy to me.

  “Something happened to me when we were running from that gang. I always had a pretty cavalier attitude when it came to my own death. But when I actually believed I was going to die, all I could think about was not wanting to leave you. The night you said we’d have the rest of our lives together, that your life would have no purpose if I died, was when I quit feeling sorry for myself. I thought about what your grief would be like. Your pain. And that thought just about broke my heart. That’s what kept me going, honey.”

  “Because you felt sorry for me?” she asked.

  “Because I love you! Dammit, Rose, aren’t you listening to anything I’m saying? Your love got me through it.”

  She stood up and walked over to the window. For a long moment, she remained silent. Then she turned and smiled slyly. “Well, were you?”

  As always, he understood her perfectly. “I’d never have let you marry that son of a bitch, Rosie.”

  “I’ve already figured that out. But that’s not what I asked you, Zach. No secrets, remember?”

  He couldn’t hide his grin. Getting to his feet, he walked slowly toward her. “You are a witch, Rose Dubois. A seductive, soul-stealing, redheaded witch.” He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. “Whom I ado
re.”

  Leaning into him, Rose slipped her arms around his neck. “Yes or no, MacKenzie?”

  “You know damn well I was jealous. But I was right about Rayburn, wasn’t I?”

  He kissed her so soundly she felt it all the way down to the tips of her toes.

  “Now I have a question for you. Do you still hate all lawmen?”

  “I met one I’m crazy about,” she teased.

  “Is that right?” His cocky smile made her glow. “I bet he feels the same way about you.”

  “Well, I don’t think it will do me any good. I understand Sheriff Morgan is a confirmed bachelor.”

  “Lady,” he groaned, “you’re eating me alive. You burrow under a man’s skin and just kept chewing. How do you feel about Texas Rangers?”

  “I think the Texas Rangers are very courageous and admirable, but I’ll be honest with you, Zach: I’m going to be miserable married to one, wondering if the man I love will be shot and killed in the line of duty.”

  “I figured as much. The Tait gang was my last assignment. I didn’t reenlist.”

  Rose’s happiness bubbled over. “Do you mean it, Zach?”

  “I mean it. I did my duty and upheld the family tradition. But you and I have a much more urgent problem to settle. If I don’t make love to you soon, I’m going to burst. Let’s go to bed, Rosie.”

  She looked sorrowful. “I have to go to work now.”

  He groaned. “You have to go to work!” Grasping her by the shoulders, he stared down at her. “Tell me, Rose, since I gave up the Rangers, are you giving up the Harvey Girls?”

  “We’ll talk about that as soon as I get back.” She gave him a quick kiss and headed for the door. “I’m late, Zach. I must go.”

  He caught her as she reached the door, and turned her around to face him. He cupped her neck in his warm palm and tilted her head back. “Forget about it tonight and stay here with me.” His kiss was long and persuasive. “Rosie, it’s been so long. I need you,” he whispered, between soft kisses to her face and eyes.