by A. M. Kusi
She carefully maneuvered out from under him. Padding her bare feet over to her dresser, she pulled out the first pair of skinny jeans and blouse she found and shut herself in the bathroom. Mia hurriedly brushed her teeth, got dressed, and threw her hair into a ponytail before sneaking out to her car. She was being a coward, but she couldn’t face him today.
Her whole body ached as she drove off towards her friends at the inn. Mia’s stomach knotted and flipped the farther away she drove from the man who had captured her heart despite her best efforts.
***
Later that afternoon, Mia went to the studio. She could finally breathe again. Whatever discomfort she’d woken up with had begun to lessen. The building smelled of paint and fresh-cut wood, but the lobby was finished. A large custom-built reception desk stood off to the right. She walked through, room by room. Her office was also complete, the walls a sage green with white trim.
Turning around, she headed to the main studio that was almost finished. Tears sprung to her eyes. This was all really happening. Her studio was nearly complete, but with the weight of everything else, the joy she should have felt was diminished. She wiped the tears away.
Why can’t I have both love and security? Could it be possible to be happy and safe? Would Andre forgive her for what she’d kept from him? She’d have to tell him everything. If he would listen to her, surely he’d understand why this issue wasn’t so black and white. She sniffled, straightening her back. Uncertainty spun through her. She’d never shared all her secrets with anyone before. Could she do it?
I have to. Because I love him.
“Mia.”
She jumped and spun around. Andre stood in the doorway, taking up all the oxygen in the room.
Mia forced her lungs to pull in a ragged breath, barely getting enough for a whisper. “What are you doing here?”
He stepped closer, the ache in her body returning with his proximity. There was no use fighting it—she’d just have to accept that she’d always want what she couldn’t have.
“I got worried after I woke to an empty bed. I searched everywhere for you.”
“I had to meet my friends. They’re leaving tomorrow, but their parents are flying in to see my studio. They should be arriving any minute actually.” And I didn’t want to face you.
Andre reached out, taking hold of her shoulders. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation.”
“Andre—”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing.” She waved her hand.
“I need you to be honest with me about something.”
She stiffened, her gaze locking with his. Did he know?
“Are you pregnant?”
“What?” She frowned. “No! You think I would keep something like that from you?”
“I know I haven’t been the most approachable about this whole situation. We got off on the wrong foot and kinda got stuck there for a while. But that changes now. Mia, I love you.” He moved his hands to cup her face as a tremble rocked her body. Tears sprang to her eyes.
“I want to wake up to you in my bed every morning. Or, I can stay over at your place.” He smiled. “What I feel for you doesn’t compare to anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.”
His eyes shone with affection and it was all directed at her. This man loved her. She never thought in a million years she’d fall for someone, and yet, he’d captured her heart so completely. She loved Andre too. But would he still after learning the truth? Could she tell him everything?
Andre’s hold didn’t waver. He was worth the risk. No matter what she had to do. This was what her parents had had, and she’d do whatever she needed to hold on to Andre and this once-in-a-lifetime love.
“Mia?” Carmen’s voice drifted in through the lobby.
Mia smiled and kissed Andre. “I love you too.” But there’s so much you don’t know.
“Mia?” Carmen repeated, poking her head inside the studio. “Oh. There you are. Mamá—”
“There she is!” Mamá Lopez said as she burst in the room past Carmen. Jose and Mateo followed behind her. Andre dropped his arms.
Lucia stumbled forward, Jose reaching out to steady his wife’s arm. Mateo gave Mia a sympathetic shrug.
Mamá Lopez grabbed Mia and pulled her into a hug. The smell of vodka burned Mia’s nose. A worried knot formed in the pit of her stomach.
“I feared I might never see you again, mija. I thought for sure the plane would crash,” Lucia said, releasing her.
“The flight attendant thought vodka was a good idea to help calm her down,” Jose explained.
“But they didn’t take into account Mamá had already had a few drinks before boarding,” Carmen added, motioning to her mother.
“Look at you! You’re too thin. I need to make you some good food, get sssome meat on those bonesss,” Lucia slurred. Oh, God. Mamá Lucia needs some coffee and food—stat.
“I promise I’ve been eating well. I’m just so happy you all could come and see my new studio. Andre here is one of the contractors of the remodel.” Mia glanced up at him. He was meeting, for all intents and purposes, the only family she had, drunk or not.
“Andre, this is Lucia and Jose Lopez. They’re like my aunt and uncle,” Mia explained.
Andre reached out his hand to greet them. “It’s an honor.”
“Likewise. You’ve done a great job from what I can see.” Jose nodded, studying the space around them.
“It’s fantastic, Mia. Your mother would be so proud. You will make the best daughter-in-law. All I ask is for a grandchild sooner than later. Si?” Lucia winked.
Mia’s heart leapt to her throat as she snapped her head to Andre’s. Oh, no.
“I’m sorry. Why would Mia be giving you grandchildren soon?” Andre asked, his tone confused.
Mia’s chest burned, too paralyzed with fear to draw in enough oxygen to speak. All the pieces of her carefully crafted story were crumbling before her eyes and she was immobilized with terror to do anything. It was too late to stop it.
Lucia patted her hand over Mia’s cheek as she said, “Because my Mia is marrying Mateo next month, of course.”
Dre staggered back a step. All the warmth drained from his face. A moment later, anger radiated from him as he glared at her before stalking out of the room.
Her secrets shattered her glass heart into a million pieces.
Chapter 29
Mia
Carmen shot Mia a worried look.
“Mamá, let’s go see the rest of the place, huh?” Mateo said, quickly coming to her rescue.
Mia ran after Andre, catching up to him before he got in his truck. She grabbed his arm as he swung around, his face masked with fury as the dark storm cloud that hovered above.
“You’re engaged to him!”
“Andre, it’s not what you think.” Her heart pounded. She just needed him to trust her.
“It never is with women, is it?” he snapped.
“I-I can explain.” Mia held up her hands, pleadingly.
Andre ground his teeth together, his jaw tense as he glared at her. “Are you or aren’t you engaged to him?”
“Yes. But—”
Andre pulled out of her grasp. “That’s all I needed to know. You lied to me over and over. If it isn’t clear yet, we’re done. You should at least tell the sucker you were fucking me behind his back before he signs half his worth over to a liar.”
She pushed herself between him and his car. “Andre, please—you said you loved me.”
He grabbed her arm firmly and pulled her out of his way. “You were just a good fuck. That’s all this was.”
“You don’t mean that!” Tears streamed down her cheeks as his words eviscerated what was left of her heart.
“Unlike you, I mean what I say,” he growled, yanking open
the door and climbing in the truck.
“Please, Andre. You know me better than this,” she pleaded.
He shook his head. “No, I don’t. But whose fault is that?”
The door slammed only a moment before the truck came roaring to life and sped away, taking her heart with it.
She trembled and fell to the ground. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Mia sobbed, her skin prickling with the fire of a thousand tiny paper cuts as the full impact of what happened hit her. She’d lied to stay alive, and traded her soul in the process. No matter the reason, lying was a mortal sin in Andre’s book. She’d lost him. Was life worth living alone like this?
A set of arms wrapped around her as she breathed in Mateo’s comforting scent.
“Ssshhh. It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he said.
Mia stayed like that in his arms until her eyes felt like sandpaper from crying. Standing on shaky legs, Mateo kept his hold on her and kissed her forehead. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
Mia searched around. “Where’s Carmen and your parents?”
“She took them to get some food in Mamá’s belly and sober her up.” He guided her to the passenger side of her car.
After buckling in, Mia pressed her temples, seeking relief from the pounding in her head. The ache in her heart compounded the closer they got to her home. Andre was her neighbor—there was no escaping him. The face that had once looked at her with so much affection, would now be permanently filled with disgust.
“I’m sorry about Mamá. You know she’s always had it in her head that we’d get married for real. She’s just getting impatient for grandbabies.”
Mia nodded.
“If you love the guy, then why continue this farce with me? Why not marry him and get your papers that way? It would save me from having to move across the country for a couple years too,” Mateo said, parking in her driveway.
Guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders. It had been selfish of her to ask so much of her friend. She turned towards Andre’s house.
“I honestly didn’t mean to fall in love. It was just supposed to be fun. When I realized . . . it was too late. Andre doesn’t forgive liars.”
“If you explained to him what was at stake, and if he truly loves you, he’d know there is nothing to forgive,” Mateo said, resting his hand on hers.
She sniffed and nodded. “You’re right. I need to tell him everything and let him choose.” Fear gripped her. Anxiety turned her stomach. Could she tell him now? Could she expose herself and risk everything? Could she give him the keys to destroy her?
There was no other choice.
I love him.
She had to try to speak to him, to make him listen—even if that meant risking it all and getting deported back to Mexico.
Even if that meant risking potential death.
Chapter 30
Andre
His chest ached like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it. Anger burned so hot inside him, his skin itched as he tightly gripped the steering wheel.
“Why!” He slammed his fist into the dashboard as searing pain shot up his arm.
Mia lied to me this whole time. He’d been the other man and not even known. Why does this keep happening to me? He should have gone with his first instincts. Now his friends would see he was right all along.
Somehow, he made it home.
Andre got out of his car, slamming the door. Glancing at the taut skin on his fist that was swelling quickly, he walked up his porch to the door.
“Dre?”
He whipped around. This is just not my fucking day. Can’t I get a break?
“Tiffany?” he barked.
The infant in her arms began to wail as she swayed and soothed him. It was another stab to the heart to see her holding the baby that was supposed to be his.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He didn’t have time for games.
Tiffany looked down, tears welling in her eyes as she answered, “He left me—he left us.”
“Well, you aren’t wanted here either.” He stuck his key in the door and turned it.
“Please, Andre. I made the biggest mistake treating you like I did. It wasn’t until I left that I saw you were the best thing that ever happened to me and I ruined it. I don’t know if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
He shook his head, annoyed. I can’t deal with this too.
“I just need a place to stay until my sister can get here from Virginia. I don’t have a penny to my name. I used the last dollar to come so my son can be safe for a night.”
“Guess you should have thought about that before you fucked another man behind my back for a year.” He got in his house and slammed the door. The baby outside started screaming again. Payback is a bitch. Stalking to the cupboard, he pulled out the bottle of Jack Daniel’s and took a big gulp, enjoying the burn of the whiskey. He drank it down until he had to come up for air.
Fuck. Revenge didn’t taste as sweet as he’d thought. Even he couldn’t be this heartless. What have I become?
He stalked to the front door before yanking it open. Tiffany was sitting on the edge of the porch, soothing the baby. She turned to him with watery eyes.
“One night.” He turned back to the house, her timid steps following behind. The door clicked shut.
“Can I lay him down in the guest room?” she asked.
He grunted and took another gulp from the bottle.
He lost track of time, focusing on the black label and dwindling amber liquid. Why couldn’t he numb this pain? Because you love her.
“Here.” Tiffany came in the room with a bag of frozen peas. “For your hand.” She placed the cool package onto his swollen knuckles. Rain pelted the roof as thunder rolled.
They sat in the silence as he nursed the whiskey.
“Is this because of me?” she asked.
His eyes snapped to hers. She’d showered and slipped on an oversized men’s T-shirt that he didn’t recognize. It only fueled his rage.
He shook his head.
“This isn’t you, Dre,” she whispered.
He laughed bitterly, the room spinning slightly. “She lied to me—just like you did. Only this time, I was the other guy and didn’t know it.”
“You met someone?”
He brought the bottle to his lips. “And now I need to forget that someone.” He took another gulp.
She leaned over, resting her hand on his knee. “Let me help.”
Chapter 31
Mia
The pen scribbled across the paper as Mia wrote her life story for Andre to read. She’d never shared these details with anyone, and not even her therapist knew the extent of her trauma. She’d learned from an early age to keep secrets. Exposing herself like this was the hardest thing she’d ever done. Tears leaked from her eyes, blurring the page. She took a deep breath and pulled a tissue from the box.
Her phone pinged and she glanced at it.
Mateo: If you need our help, let us know. We’ll stay in town until tomorrow and then take Mamá and Papá home. Love you.
Her familia had her back, no matter what.
She steeled her spine and put the pen back to the paper, determined to give everything in hopes of earning Andre’s forgiveness. Even if they couldn’t be together, perhaps it could offer him some relief from the pain he carried inside. She’d seen his scars up close, and never in a million years did she wish to add even a feather more to his burden.
The chorus of raindrops bouncing off the roof brought her a sense of calm and determination. She wrote until her hand ached, her heart bleeding out onto the pages. After folding them and sticking them in an envelope, Mia scribbled his name on it before taking a deep breath.
Mia opened the door as the wind whipped, thunder rumbling nearby. She tucked the envelope close to her chest and dart
ed across the green grass that separated their properties. Taking cover on his porch, she tucked her wild hair behind her ears. Her clothes were covered in dark splotches from the rain as her breath created a small cloud in the cold air. She swallowed, gathering up the courage. She would not take no for an answer. She’d fight for him.
Knocking on the door, she waited.
The door swung open and her heart sank. A beautiful blond woman wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt opened the door.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Um . . . is Andre here?” Had he found a replacement so soon? His words came back to haunt her. You were just a good fuck—that’s all this was.
No. There had to be an explanation for this. Andre wasn’t like that. He loved her.
“He’s in the shower,” the woman answered, studying Mia.
Shower? Did they . . .
“I can make sure he gets this.” The woman reached out to take the envelope from Mia’s shaking hand. Her mind was still scrambling to catch up. What did this all mean?
“Who are you?” Mia asked, her stomach churning with anxiety.
“Tiffany. I’m a friend of Andre’s.”
This was Andre’s ex? Why was she here, in his house, half naked? He said he’d loved her too. Maybe he still had feelings for her.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Andre’s voice boomed. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but sweatpants that hung low on his hips.
“I . . .” She blinked back tears.
Tiffany moved out of the way as Andre stood in front of her. He reeked of booze and swayed slightly from side to side.
“I thought I was pretty clear earlier. Stay the fuck away from me.” The door slammed in her face. She jumped backwards.
Oh. God. She clutched her stomach, feeling sick. She needed to get away.
Mia ran down the porch onto the road. Her sobs were drowned out by the cracking thunder as the rain soaked her in minutes. Her tears mixed with the fat droplets cascading from the heavens. She ran until her legs and lungs burned—until she crumpled to the ground. It was all too much.
