Fashionably Forever After
Book Ten of The Hot Damned Series
Robyn Peterman
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Copyright © 2018 by Robyn Peterman
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.
This book contains content that may not be suitable for young readers 17 and under.
Cover by Rebecca Poole of dreams2media
Edited by Meg Weglarz
Created with Vellum
Uproariously witty, deliciously provocative, and just plain fun! No one delivers side-splitting humor and mouth-watering sensuality like Robyn Peterman.
This is entertainment at its absolute finest!
~ Darynda Jones, NY Times Bestselling Author of the Charley Davidson Series
Contents
Acknowledgments
Book Description
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Epilogue
Excerpt: Three’s ACharm
Book Description
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Note From The Author
Robyn’s Book List
About Robyn Peterman
Acknowledgments
Fashionably Forever After was a delight to write. Satan’s adventures took me on a wildly hilarious ride. It was so much fun, I know I will be writing about Satan and Elle again soon!
However, writing the story is only part of the journey to getting a book published. There are many people to thank and I’m a lucky girl to have such a talented and wonderful support system.
Rebecca Poole—your covers are the bomb! Thank you.
Meg Weglarz—you saved me from a really big booboo in this one! LOL. Thank you.
Donna McDonald—a gal couldn’t ask for a tougher, brilliant and more awesome critique partner. Thank you.
Wanda and Susan—you are the best beta readers in the Universe. I adore you. Thank you.
Wanda—you rock hard. Thank you.
My family—none of this would be worth it without you. Thank you for being mine. I love you.
Dedication
This one is for the fans of the Hot Damned Series! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Book Description
A movie deal for the Devil’s autobiography slash romance? Priceless.
Maybe I should choose George Clooney to play me in the movie… No. Too gray.
As much as I can’t see anyone playing me but me, I have far more important issues on my agenda—like finding the woman who stole my soul. Well, not exactly stole… I might have made the switch and taken hers, but the Siren, Elle Rinoa, has my soul nonetheless.
Maybe Brad Pitt would be a good Lucifer… No. Too blond.
Fate and I are on a crash course with destiny looking for the one woman who can change both of our lives—mine for the better—Fate’s for the worse. Never in my wildest imaginings did I think the Devil could have a happily ever after, but now I have hope.
Maybe Jamie Dornan would do me justice… No. Fifty shades of wrong.
Armed with a tremendously bad attitude and my two grumpy nieces in tow, I will find my woman and make her stay—even if I have to cuff her to me for the rest of eternity. Elle Rinoa is mine and as soon as she sees everything my way we will be fine.
Maybe Dwayne Johnson would be an excellent Satan… No. Too bald.
Whatever. With my insane mother proposing a disturbingly psychotic plan to find my girl and my father breaking every appliance in Heaven and Hell, I feel I have no choice but to go with my mother’s half baked scheme. I’ve done crazy, but this one will take the cake or put me six feet under—for real.
How about Joe Manganiello playing me… No. I’m prettier.
My Siren doesn’t know what’s about to hit her. I play for keeps and I play to win. Of course I cheat, but that’s neither here nor there.
It’s showtime folks.
Prologue
I placed the amethyst orb on my desk and stared in wonder. It sparkled and winked at me as I gazed into its glittery depths. I gently ran my index finger over it—soft, smooth, feminine, and a little bit dangerous. I could feel her. She was still with me in a surreal sense of the word.
“Hello, little soul. You’re just as beautiful as your owner.”
Of course, the soul didn’t answer. It simply continued to shimmer peacefully on the black mahogany desk.
“Won’t my Siren be surprised when she takes out the soul I gave her?” I asked with a laugh as I leaned back in my chair with the satisfaction of a job well done.
I didn’t need an answer. I already knew it. She would be shocked, appalled and furious. And if she were here, she’d set me ablaze for what I’d done.
The switch had been simple. I’d put my hand on my heart and silently called forth my soul. There would never be anyone more surprised than me that I actually had one—and it was just as my stunning Elle had described it. My soul was the gorgeous gold of an Angel with the beautiful dark outer rim of a Demon, and it was now in her safekeeping, just as hers was in mine.
Picking up the orb and holding it in my hands, I carefully pressed it to my lips.
“Don’t worry, little soul. You’ll see your owner very soon. I promise. She can run, but she can’t hide—or maybe she can hide, but I have an advantage. I have two things she can’t live without.”
I tucked Elle’s soul safely into my pocket and grinned.
“And what, might you ask, would those two things be, little soul? The answer is quite simple. You and me. Those are the two things Adrielle Rinoa can’t live without.”
I’d lied to my niece and daughters earlier when I’d said there was no happy ending for the Devil. There was no doubt I excelled at lying—I was the master of it, but I was very aware when I told untruths.
And I’d most definitely and very deliberately told them an untruth.
My mind was made up. I was going to get my happily ever after and so would my Siren. We were just going to go about in in an unconventional way.
Losing wasn’t an option. I never lost. I’d lie, cheat and steal until what I wanted was mine. I wanted Adrielle Rinoa. And I knew she wanted me.
Love might not conquer all, but the Devil and his deceitful ways most certainly could. I had an arsenal of devious plans up my Armani sleeves and I would use each and every one until my darkness was mine once more.
Tomorrow would be a day like any other. Punishments must be doled out, chaos must be encouraged, and a Siren must be found before Fate got her vicious claws into her.
&nb
sp; A vacation would be lovely, but there was no rest for the weary or the evil. Standing up and glancing in the mirror at the image of the exquisitely beautiful man staring back at me, I smiled.
I was a fucking handsome son of a bitch. Being the Devil did not suck.
“It’s show time, folks.”
Chapter One
Three Weeks Later…
“For the love of everything evil, what fresh hell is this?” I muttered, running my hands through my hair and taking in the well-dressed catastrophe assembled in my office.
“Surprise,” my mother sang, making herself comfortable and placing a cake iced in runny black and red frosting with little plastic Demons all over it on my coffee table. My mother couldn’t cook to save her life. Of course, her life wasn’t in danger since she was a True Immortal and couldn’t be killed without a Hell of a lot of planning and the willingness to die.
Why was I being tortured with a cake? It wasn’t my birthday. I’d recently found out that monumental occasion was April 1st. I planned to make it a national holiday that would whip my nephew Jesus’s birthday into oblivion. However, my newly discovered birthday was months away. So the cake—if one could describe it as such—wasn’t for my birthday.
Mother Nature waved her hand and set the tiny plastic Demons ablaze. The whistling as the plastic burned made it sound as if the Demons were screaming. It was an impressive touch, but I wasn’t going to eat that cake unless my own life depended on it.
With another wave of her well-manicured hand, my mother produced plate and forks.
Not a good sign.
“Aren’t you going to say hello?” she inquired innocently with a breathtaking smile.
My mother’s beauty was as legendary as her lack of culinary skills—and her nightmare inducing pole dancing. However, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw her and that was out of the question. It definitely wasn’t wise to fuck with Mother Nature.
“No,” I said rudely. “I’m not.”
A few of my nearest and dearest—for lack of a more fitting term—were scattered about my massively opulent office in the Dark Palace. My mother, clad in some horrifyingly expensive, peach gossamer robe with hot pink flowers bursting from it, lounged on a black leather couch with a flock of teal colored parrots hovering around her. Her cake looked as if it would blow any second. The birds eyed it hungrily. I hoped they ate it. It would save me having to kill them. If even one of those flying shitbags took a crap on my priceless antiques it was going to suffer a colorfully violent death. Mother Nature rarely ventured out of Nirvana without her zoo. Lucky me…
My father stood next to her looking quite serious. His small stature belied his vast power. A solemn expression was unusual for him. As a Sprite, he was ridiculously joyous—a trait I secretly enjoyed but would never cop to. It didn’t enhance my reputation to be soft.
And I was all about the reputation.
Standing by the massive stone fireplace were my pain-in-the-ass nieces, Astrid and Tiara. Neither would make eye contact and both appeared to be wildly interested in silently studying the onyx marble floor. This of course didn’t bode well since neither of them owned a filter and usually talked so much I was constantly tempted to smite them to permanent silence. As part Vampyre-part Demons, the two were an anomaly. Not to mention Tiara was also had a fair amount of Fairy thrown in. Beautiful, profane and not in the least bit terrified of me. While this was normally refreshing, today I was in no mood to banter. I had a Siren to track down. I had no time for a certifiable family gathering.
Expelling a long breath that sounded very much like a displeased hiss, I observed the group through narrowed eyes. They clearly had something to say to me. It was highly unusual to have so many of them gathered in Hell at one time—especially uninvited.
“Speak,” I said tersely. I was getting warm and fuzzy feelings from these people, which did not sit well with me. Arguments and general discord were far more pleasurable.
“Darling,” my mother announced grandly with a little wave and a giggle. “We’ve come for an intercourse.”
Raising my brow and biting back a grin, I shook my head. “I’ll pass. While sexual debauchery is a hobby of mine… that particular suggestion goes a little past my comfort zone.”
“Oh my freakin’ Uncle God,” Astrid gasped out, unsuccessfully trying to swallow her grunt of laughter. “We are not here for intercourse.”
“That’s certainly a relief,” I said, seating myself behind my mahogany desk and placing myself in the position of power. I was a ridiculously handsome bastard from all angles, but straight on I was the most foreboding. Leaning forward and letting my chin rest on steepled fingers, I cut to the chase. “To what do I owe this alarmingly horrifying visit?”
“Lucifer,” my mother chided beginning to spark ominously. “That’s rude. I’m missing my programs and a pole dancing exhibition in Iceland to be here.”
“Far be it from me to stop you from getting frozen to a pole, Mother,” I said flatly. “Since we’ve ruled out fornication though, would someone like to enlighten me as to why you’re trespassing?”
“I told you,” she said with a pout. “We’re here for an international and I baked you a cake.”
“Umm, close, but not quite the right word,” Astrid corrected my certifiable mother.
“Internet?” She tried again.
“No,” Astrid replied, attempting to stay polite.
Mother Nature was tricky and prone to colossal property damage when she got cranky. It usually took a week to undo the havoc she created. I was in no frame of mind to remove a jungle from my palace today.
“Interstate?” my mother took another crack at it.
“No.”
“Intermission?”
“How about interruption?” I supplied, helping her out. “Uncalled for, unpleasant, impolite, ill-mannered interruption.”
“But you love all those attributes,” Astrid pointed out as her partner in crime, Tiara, nodded her head in agreement.
“Only when I’m the perpetrator,” I replied with an eye roll. “And as you can see, I’m a busy man today. I have chaos to create and lives to ruin. Get to the point and get out.”
“Somebody needs to get laid. Then maybe he wouldn’t be acting like such a little shit,” my mother said under her breath.
It took all I had not to blast my mother right out of Hell, but the ramifications of the removal were unthinkable. My mother was the only one in the Universe that could get away with calling me a little shit and live to speak of it. The real reason I let it go was because I’d heard her call my brother, God, the same thing. I knew the bastard phoned her on a regular basis. It chafed my ass that my brother had racked up more brownie points with our certifiable matriarch than I had. God was the ultimate kiss-ass just as I was the ultimate bad boy.
Astrid stepped forward quickly and placed herself in front of my mother. She was a smart cookie. I was teetering on the edge of madness at the moment and even I wasn’t quite sure what I was capable of.
Touching the breast pocket of my custom Armani suit, I felt Elle’s soul. The aura around her soul was the only thing that calmed me as of late. Now I just needed my family to leave so I could figure out how to find her, drag her back to Hell and chain her to me for eternity.
“We’re here for an intervention,” Astrid said, stating their purpose clearly. “You’re acting weird and we’re worried.”
“Did you say weird?” I asked, letting her announcement sink in.
“Totally fucking weird,” Tiara added. “I mean you didn’t even notice all the new office supplies on your desk.”
Glancing down, I realized Tiara was correct. The surface of my desk was covered in pens, paperclips, calculators and protractors. It was delightful. How did I miss this?
“Did you steal them?” I inquired.
Tiara moved to Astrid and placed her hands over her sister’s ears. “Yep, I stole them, but only because I knew that would make you happy. I feel kind
of freakin’ icky about it, but I have to admit it was fun.”
“You realize I can hear you, right?” Astrid told her sister with an impressive eye roll.
“Whoops, my bad,” Tiara said with a laugh as she removed her hands from Astrid’s ears.
“You’re half Demon, sweetheart,” Mother Nature told Tiara, rearranging the flaming Demon cake toppers so they didn’t melt onto my priceless table. “That kind of behavior is to be expected. It’s like taking a naughty vitamin. A little pilfering here and there will keep you from blowing up continents. Don’t worry your lovely little undead head about it.”
“I don’t need an intervention and I don’t need to be poisoned by a cake. I have a meeting about my movie deal and then I have to corrupt a few more politicians. It’s a busy job being the Harbinger of Evil.”
Fashionably Forever After: Book Ten, The Hot Damned Series Page 1
