In this moment I feel like I can get on board with moving back to Davidson. That Will and I could go back as husband and wife, a new Mr. and Mrs. Meyer. We could work together to build trust in the Meyer name and start a new legacy, eventually starting a family of our own. A smile spreads across my face and I’m about to lay out my thoughts to Will when he bursts every bubble and shoots down every idea I have with one look.
“You’re right,” he says, hardening his face. “Something will have to give…which is why I think we should postpone the wedding.”
Chapter 2
“He really said that?” Caroline asks through the phone. Living in California she’s lost some of her southern drawl, but when she’s mad, it shows up and does double duty for all the time it’s been away.
“Yeah,” I say sadly after recapping the last 27 days to her. She’s gotten snips and pieces via text, but this is the first time we’ve really talked. She actually called me after her mom called her this afternoon to tell her Will’s father finally died.
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say so I just got up and walked away. I still don’t know what to say. It’s been over a week and we’ve barely spoken. I haven’t said anything about it and he hasn’t mentioned it again. I’m trying to understand, Caroline. Really, I am. It’s not like he thinks we should postpone the wedding on some whim. I get that there’s a lot going on. But then I’m kinda pissed. After everything he put me through about me not wanting to set a date, now he’s the one avoiding getting married? No one has to know he’s still alive. I mean, what if Holly hadn’t shot his father? There’d still be a trial going on and we’d be going to school and planning our wedding!”
“Do you think he wanted to postpone it until he knew for sure what was happening with his dad? I mean, maybe now that he’s dead Will feels differently. I know he hated his dad, but it’s still his dad. Now that his father is dead, has he given you any indication that he feels differently about postponing the wedding?” I both love and hate how Caroline can be on my side and still make me think about the other side. I need the logic, but sometimes I just want to be selfish.
“I don’t know. I haven’t even seen him today. He was already holed up in Luke’s office when I came downstairs. I know he said I could be included now, but…”
“You haven’t even seen him today? GO IN THERE!” Caroline demands. “Go into that office and talk to him, Layla. You’re not some weak little girl. You’re his fiancée and he’s opened the door for you to be involved. Now, more than ever, you need to be with him. I don’t care what the circumstances were around their relationship, and I don’t care what you two have left unsaid, his father just died and you need to be with him. I’m hanging up now. I love you and I’ll talk to you later.”
Just like that Caroline is gone and I’m left in the wake of her logical instructions. I don’t know why I’m scared to go in there. Yes, I do. Without waiting or even asking for an explanation I walked away from one of the most important conversations Will and I have ever had, and I haven’t spoken of it since. It was a conversation that left me reeling, questioning my future. Now I’m supposed to go into that office and console my fiancé over the loss of his father, a man who made our lives as complicated as they are right now.
She’s right, though. She’s always right. I make my way downstairs to Luke’s office. The door is still closed so I knock twice before opening it. Will and Luke are seated as I found them the day I pouted my way into their conversation. I don’t say anything this time. I just look at Will, watching to see his reaction to me. This is the first time in over a week I’ve been intentional about seeking him out. Every other day we’ve just happened to find ourselves in the same room.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Luke says, excusing himself and closing the door behind him. Will stands and faces me as the door clicks closed.
It takes me a few minutes to say anything, waiting to see if Will has anything to say first. After walking away as I did that day, I feel like Will should have the chance to express his displeasure with me before I make any attempt at an apology.
“I’m so sorry about your dad, Will,” I say, deciding he’s probably giving me a chance to speak first since I’m the one who walked away. I rush to him, hoping his arms will receive me. “I’m so sorry about everything!” Will holds me and strokes my hair, his first sign in telling me not to worry.
“It’s ok, Layla, it’s ok,” he says softly.
“It’s not ok. I’ve behaved so poorly over the last several weeks, and when we had just agreed to work together I left the conversation. I left you to figure things out on your own and that was wrong. I’m sorry. I won’t do that again. I promise.” I hope he can hear the pleading tone in my voice because that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m pleading with him to believe that I’m not going to shut down again. “We’re in this together and I will never let anything come between us again. If you think we should postpone the wedding, then we’ll do it.”
“It was unfair of me to spring that on you the way I did. If I had let you be a part of the conversations I’d been having with Luke you’d have understood my reasons. I shut down. I kept you out and then out of nowhere I suggested changing the biggest day of our lives.” Will takes a deep breath of resolve. “What do you say to a serious do-over?”
“How far back are we going?” I ask.
“How’s 27 days?” he says.
“I can do that.” I lay my head on Will’s chest, listening to his heartbeat go from pounding to a regulated beat. “I really am sorry about your dad.”
“I know. Thanks.” Will rubs circles on my back and rests his chin on the top of my head. I feel his breath ruffle my hair and it gives me chill bumps. He smells divine and I realize how much I’ve missed this over the last weeks. I wrap my arms tighter around Will’s middle and he responds with a kiss to the top of my head.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come see you as soon as Claire told me,” I tell him. Caroline is right. Despite what the relationship was like, Will’s father just died. The saddest part is that now that he’s gone, the hope that things could ever be different between them is gone, too. I remember feeling so hopeful that one day Will’s father would come around. It seems silly now, considering the series of events over the last year and a half, but I was hopeful nonetheless. “How are you?”
“It’s ok, Layla. It’s been a rough few weeks. I don’t know that any of us have been ourselves. I’m ok. I had long enough to prepare for it.” Will releases me and guides me to the leather loveseat. “I thought a lot about what you said, about having to forgive him,” he says as we sit. Will takes my hand in both of his, lacing his fingers through mine. “I have to forgive him or my life is going to be filled with regret, and I don’t want to live like that. My father lived with the regret of his father, and I’m not going to leave that legacy for our children.”
Our children. That sounds so wonderful. It’s nice to know that even though he thinks we should postpone the wedding he’s still thinking about our future like this. This makes me immediately want to talk about why he thinks we need to postpone the wedding, but I hold my tongue and wait for a better moment.
“I’m happy to help you with that, if you want me to,” I offer with a sympathetic smile.
“I know you are, and I’m not trying to keep you out of anything…” Will begins. I know what he’s trying to say and I don’t want him to feel badly about it so I cut him off.
“Don’t worry about it, Will. Floating lanterns don’t work for everyone. Some people need to forgive in private, processing through it in their own way. I don’t think you’re shutting me out. If I thought that, this would be a very different conversation right now. As united as we are, there are still things we have to do on our own. The important thing is that we communicate that.” I run my fingers through Will’s hair, fixing it into a messier state. I love that he’s let his hair grow longer. It suites him well. “Can you talk to me about
your thoughts on needing to postpone the wedding?” I ask, keeping my heart in check. I’m still hurt by this idea, but have had to give my mind the lead on this so that I can be open to hearing Will’s logic on the subject.
“That…well…” Will stumbles a bit in collecting his thoughts.
“Spit it out, Will. We’re beyond searching for the perfect phrasing so we don’t accidentally hurt the other one’s feelings,” I tell him. I hold his eyes with mine wanting to convey the finality of my message. I truly am done with the drama of it all. Will and I are forever and nothing is going to change that.
“Ok. Well…I meant it when I said that we should postpone the wedding because of how overwhelming things are right now. We’ve got school, and packing, and Luke is going to be gone a lot, taking Claire with him at times. Something truly would have to give.” Will moves closer to me on the loveseat, twisting his body to face me fully. “Those aren’t the most important reasons, though. Right now, Will Meyer is dead. And…I know you were happy that I chose your father’s name as my new one, but,” Will tucks my hair behind my ear and holds my face in his hand. It’s warm and I automatically lean into it, closing my eyes for a moment as I relish his touch. “I want Layla Weston to marry Will Meyer. Unless we go back to Davidson, bring everything out into the open, and resurrect Will Meyer, that can never happen.”
“Oh,” is all I can manage. I hadn’t thought of that, and now I feel foolish for having walked away when the explanation was so sweet and simple. Sometimes I really can be a silly girl.
“If you’re worried that we won’t get married in the gardens like your parents, don’t. I don’t care where we live, getting married here in the gardens is important to you and I’m going to make that happen.” I can see the worry on Will’s face. I haven’t responded clearly enough to let him know that his reasoning makes perfect sense. “This is our chance to make things as they should have been. Layla, please say something.”
“I’m sorry.”
Will brow furrows and that cute little ‘v’ appears above his nose.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain before. If I had, the last nine days wouldn’t have been so heartbreaking. If this is your reason why we should postpone the wedding, then I’m in total agreement. Layla Weston wants to marry Will Meyer.”
“It’s the most important reason,” he says.
“There are more reasons?” Now I’m the one with a little ‘v’ above my nose, but only in jest.
“Well, sure…I mean…there are a lot of factors…as I said. This is just the one that is the most important to me,” Will stumbles. “I’m sticking my foot in my mouth, aren’t I?” Will gives a quirky smile and I can’t help but laugh.
“Yes, but you make it look cute,” I say, letting him off the hook. “I understand there are a lot of good reasons to postpone the wedding. I appreciate that the most important one is also the most romantic. I was meant to be Layla Meyer one day. Now that the reason for our compromise is gone, we can begin to rebuild what we started back in Davidson. So…let’s go home, Will.”
“You are amazing,” Will says as his lips reach mine.
At first his kiss is soft and sweet and I’m overcome with the emotions that have been dormant for the past month. Before I know it, though, Will’s mouth is crushed against mine and he’s kissing me like he hasn’t kissed me in forever. It’s been since before I was fitted into my mother’s wedding dress, which was before Will’s father died, so it feels like forever since we’ve been close like this. He pulls me tighter to him and allows me only a moment to catch my breath before his lips are on mine again.
I reach up and grab the back of Will’s head, knotting my fingers through his longer hair, pulling his face closer to mine, as if that were possible. As he eases me backward on the loveseat my free leg wraps around his waist and it occurs to me that we have never been in this position before. Even our Day of Nothing make-out session didn’t include me wrapping a leg around him and pulling him to me.
It doesn’t take long for both of us to realize that we’re treading on dangerous ground. If Luke were to come back now it would be incredibly awkward for all of us. I don’t presume that Luke thinks we’re as pure as the driven snow, but it’s still weird for your father to walk in while you’re making out like crazy with your fiancé. More than that, Will and I have come so far, sticking to the boundary that Will set for our physical relationship. It was difficult to understand at first – how a guy could say no to the very thing that most men live for – but I learned a long time ago that Will is not like most men. I’ll have the greatest love story to tell our children one day about how their father cared more about my innocence than he ever did his own desires.
“So…I’ve really missed you,” Will says as he straightens himself on the loveseat. He fixes his shirt and runs his fingers through his hair after he rights me in my seat.
“Yeah…I know the feeling.” I take the hair band out of my hair and retie it around my ponytail. “So…have they been able to prove that the home invasion gone wrong was a set-up? What about the other juror who disappeared? Have they found him yet?” I say, changing the subject to something that will most certainly take our minds off of tearing each other’s clothes off.
“Good save,” Will says with a wink. “No, no news. The first juror’s death really could have been from an actual burglary, but it was way too clean. I mean, there has been zero evidence. Agent Croft has had his lead forensic guy on it and there has been nothing. According to Croft, Agent Lassiter says they haven’t found any hairs, fibers, or DNA that didn’t belong to the victim. It’s like whoever did it wore a Haz-Mat suit. And then the second juror…I don’t know. He just vanished.” Will shakes his head at the insanity of it all.
“It just seems so unfair to the second juror’s family. I know they’d want to at least have his body to bury…to have closure,” I say. I know the pain they’re experiencing with no knowing where this man is. It’s one of the most terrible feelings in the world and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. So…what do you know about your dad’s death? I mean, I know you said him dying was just a matter of time, but he hung on for so long. I really thought he was going to pull through,”
“Well, from what Luke said the doctor told him, my dad basically died from an infection caused by the shots to his chest. It turns out he was allergic to, like, three of the most common antibiotics used and then his body started rejecting the others.”
“Wow. Only your father could get shot in the head and that’s not what kills him. Honestly, I thought he would have died when they took the bullet out of his head.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t be in your 60s and take two bullets to the chest and one to head and live long. Between the medications to keep his blood pressure up and the ones to fight the infection, it was only a matter of time before everything just shut down.” Will looks sad, really sad, for the first time since we watched his father get shot. Regret fills his eyes and I know he’s reliving all the times he tried to make things right with his father; all the times his father refused to bend and see Will as more than a publicity stunt or an heir.
“You ok?” I ask, rubbing his forearm.
It takes him a moment to answer. I’m not sure if he’s deciding how well he’s doing, or how honest he’s going to be about it. “I’m great as long as you’re with me.” Will takes me into his arms and I feel warm. I wrap my arms around his middle and lay my head on his chest, hoping, in some small way, to comfort him.
“Have you talked to your mom? How’s she doing? Is Wes with her? I can’t imagine how she must be feeling right now.”
“I spoke with her after Wes told her. She’s…she’s going to be ok. We’ve had a while to prepare, and, to be honest, my mom has been killing him off in her heart and mind since we moved here. I don’t mean that in some Lifetime movie way. I just mean that she’s been separating herself and cutting off her feelings from him. Even if he hadn’t died, there was going to come a point
when he was dead to her. Otherwise, she’d never be able to move on.”
“I get that. I’m glad that she’s got Wes. At least she can process through everything with him. If she had met someone down here who obviously wouldn’t know anything about her past, she would have suffered in silence,” I say moving toward the door. I figure if we don’t emerge from the office soon, Luke is going to get suspicious and come in anyway.
“Not completely in silence. She’s got me, you know,” Will says, slightly offended.
“Of course she has you, but you know she’s not the type of mom to dump all her emotions on her son.” She’s not. She would rather stuff everything down than to have Will worry about her more than he already does. “She needs a partner, Will, and she has that in Wes.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t dump on her either, so I’m glad I have you.” Will grabs behind my neck and pulls me to him to kiss me on the forehead.
“Not that you’re dumping any emotions on me…” I say with a slight tone of intentional guilt.
“Babe, there’s just not a lot to say. I’ve been so cut off from my father for so long it was almost like watching a stranger getting shot on TV that day. I don’t know him and he certainly never knew me. All I’ve got linking me to that man is DNA, and that sure as hell doesn’t make him a real father. Yeah, I’m sad, but I’m not sad like a guy who just lost his dad. I’m sad because whether Gregory Meyer lived or died, I never had a father.” Will’s expression is so matter-of-fact. He’s been thinking about this for a long time, maybe years before I ever met him, and how cut off he is from his father is apparent.
I’m sad for him. I’m sad that he never knew what the love of a real father feels like. How those strong arms feel while consoling you after you bang your thumb with a hammer when you were just trying to help, or what they look like, pumping in the air as you make it down the sidewalk on your bike all by yourself for the first time. He’ll only have memories of inadequacy and failure in the eyes of one of the two people on the planet who are supposed to love and comfort you and cheer you on.
Safe Harbor (The Lake Trilogy, Book 3) Page 2
