There was a garden at the back with tables and chairs and for a precious short time Laura felt at peace with herself as the four of them sat in a leafy arbour enjoying their lunch.
Until Sophie said, out of the blue, ‘I don’t want to live in our other house again. I want to stay here for always, but if we sell it, where will Daddy sleep when he goes back to work in London?’
As Laura waited to see what the reply to that would be he said, ‘On a park bench, I suppose. Or I could stay with Uncle James maybe.’
No mention of him not going back to work in London, she noted, so what was that supposed to mean? That Gabriel had changed his mind about giving up medicine, but wasn’t going to admit it in case he wasn’t allowed to go back? Was it another decision that she wasn’t going to be consulted about?
* * *
As the days passed Libby’s farewell party was something special to look forward to and with that thought in mind Laura took Sophie shopping for dresses on the Saturday after the phone call from James with the date of the hearing.
‘What colour shall I wear?’ she asked Gabriel before they set off.
‘You always look stunning in black,’ was his reply.
‘And me?’ Sophie wanted to know.
‘How about yellow or blue for my beautiful daughter?’ he said, and Laura thought if he’d suggested all the colours of the rainbow Sophie would have been happy if they’d been her father’s choice.
It was lovely to see them together. She had been so unhappy while he’d been away from them, unable to understand why he hadn’t been there, and no way had she been going to tell her where he was as Sophie would have been bewildered and upset.
They shopped for her first, and at Gabriel’s suggestion chose a pretty party dress in pale yellow that was perfect to go with her dark hair and eyes. Then it was her own turn to find something and she settled on a black cocktail dress because she needed to be told she looked stunning, that she wasn’t the miserable drab that she felt most of the time, and Gabriel was the only one she wanted to hear it from.
* * *
But before she was to hear those words from her husband there was a surprising announcement from Ruby and Hugo. Laura had invited them round for supper one night and when the children were in bed and the four of them were sitting in the garden Hugo said to his new wife, ‘Are we going to tell Laura and Gabriel our good news, Ruby?’
They are going to announce that Ruby is pregnant, Laura thought. These two delightful people are going to cement their marriage with a child.
But as Ruby explained with heightened colour exactly what their good news was, she realised that though a child was involved it wouldn’t be theirs. They had been accepted on to the waiting list of adoptive parents and some time in the future would be given the chance to adopt.
Before arriving that evening they had discussed sharing their problem with Laura and Gabriel in confidence, knowing that they could rely on them not to spread around the reason why they couldn’t have children of their own.
Taking Ruby’s hand in his, Hugo explained, ‘We could have children of our own, lots of them if we wanted, but they could be born with the same gene that Ruby carries, that of haemophilia, which could give any boy children we might have the blood-clotting problem and any girls the burden of being a carrier.
‘Neither of us would want to wish that on to any child of ours, so we will either foster or adopt when we are ready, and would ask that you keep this matter to yourselves, if you don’t mind.’
‘Of course,’ Gabriel said, and Laura, holding Ruby close like she would a younger sister, wiped a tear from her eye as she thought that sometimes the troubles of others helped to bring one’s own nightmares into perspective.
When they’d gone Gabriel said, ‘Those two are something special, aren’t they?’
‘Yes, they really are,’ she agreed. ‘Nathan did the same kind of thing, adopted Toby when both his parents were killed in a ferry disaster while they were on holiday. He was saved, and Nathan, who was his godfather, went out to get him, and as there were no close relatives to take him he adopted him and arrived back in Swallowbrook as a single father.’
‘Hugo is fantastic with children. Nearly all parents with a sick child who come to the surgery ask to see Dr Lawrence. He would have made a wonderful father to any children they might have had, but it would seem that he is prepared to forego that because he loves Ruby so much, and you have to hand it to them, they are going to do the next best thing.’
He nodded sombrely. What he was thinking of doing could be described as the next best thing and time was pressing. He’d promised James that he would be in touch but it wasn’t that simple. There was another side to it that he had to sort and he needed to do that first.
* * *
The following morning Ruby sought Laura out in her office, as she sometimes did, for a brief chat and the first thing she said was, ‘When would you be free for us to return your hospitality, Laura? Either at the weekend or an evening during the week, either time would be all right for us.
‘I know that the coming weekend is going to be stressful for you, having to oversee Libby’s farewell party, so will leave it with you when you are able to come. Just say the word when you are free.’
As she was about to go back upstairs she hesitated in the doorway and asked, ‘What did you think about me not being able to give Hugo the children that he would love to have?’
‘I thought that you were two amazing people with a love for each other that is strong and true,’ she told her, ‘and so did Gabriel. Ruby, you have only to look at Libby and Nathan with Toby to know that what you and Hugo are planning to do in the future for some parentless child or children will be a wonderful thing for all of you.’
‘I needed to hear that,’ she said. ‘Sometimes it just gets to me that I can’t give the man I love children of his and my blood because mine is tainted, but he won’t hear of it when I tell him how sorry I am, and every now and then I need someone to say the things that you have just said to me. Thanks for that, Laura.’
Ruby was smiling as she went to join Hugo at the start of the weekly antenatal clinic that the two of them staffed, and Laura thought that to the rare woman with a problem like that of Ruby, the monitoring of someone else’s foetus must be a bitter pill to swallow, but the young doctor who had just gone to do that very thing had an unselfishness that would carry her through whatever had to be done.
She was sure that if Ruby had asked the other doctors to be spared that part of her duties they would have understood, but with Hugo’s love and her own acceptance of the blight that a hereditary gene had put upon her, she would cope.
* * *
The clinic beside the practice was taking shape from every angle. Soon it would be open and ready to take some of the burden off the main cancer unit at the hospital on the lakeside, and every time Laura gazed at its immaculate newness it brought a lump to her throat to know that someone would be doing the job that Gabriel excelled at within its walls, while he went fishing.
* * *
At the practice she was finalising the arrangements for the party and with that and her other normal duties the days seemed to be flying past.
All the surgery staff would be there to say farewell to the doctor who had spent all her working life looking after the health of Swallowbrook and its surrounding hamlets and was now about to take on the full-time role of motherhood.
There would be music and dancing on board, a buffet and a bar, and at some time during the evening elderly John Gallagher, who had been head of the practice when Libby had come straight from university to work there, and was now her father-in-law, would make the presentation that everyone had contributed to.
If Laura had been less busy she would have realised that Gabriel was preoccupied, and might have been surprised at him leaving th
e house one evening without explanation, but she’d reasoned that he was around the place all day with the children, so it wasn’t surprising that he felt the need for a change of scene.
It would soon be a year to the day since she had appeared in his consulting room as a patient, and it would be an anniversary of pain and horror that would never go away until their lives were back on track.
But she’d given up on that, had accepted that second best was going to have to do. If she had to live with the knowledge that his days of cancer care were over it would be her punishment for wanting more from him than he’d had the time or energy to give.
He’d returned a couple of hours later looking calm enough, but hadn’t lingered to talk. Instead, he’d just patted her cheek and gone straight to bed.
* * *
The night of the party on the boat was clear and starless with just a pale harvest moon in the sky, and as Laura watched Libby in the last stages of pregnancy greet her guests she was positioned nearby to make sure the arrangements she’d made were being carried out satisfactorily.
She’d gone ahead to be there from the start, leaving Gabriel and the children to follow, and as she watched the guests arriving she saw them walking along the landing stage towards her.
Sophie had on the new yellow dress as she held her friend Lily’s hand, Josh was in long trousers and a smart short-sleeved shirt, and Gabriel was wearing a white dinner jacket, black trousers and bow-tie, and as she watched him approach Laura was aware of heads turning at the sight of the practice manager’s husband.
Whether they were thinking the same as she was, that he would be the most attractive man there, or if he was of interest because it was said he’d been in prison, she didn’t know, as some of the guests weren’t the surgery staff who knew the story. They were relations and friends of Libby and Nathan.
Yet did she care what people thought? She was wearing the black dress that she’d bought to please him and knew he’d been right. The black did show off her golden fairness, and as he looked up at her from beneath the floodlights that were all around the boat it was there, the question that she sometimes saw in his eyes. Do you still love me, Laura? And she wondered how he could ever doubt it.
They didn’t sleep together, admittedly, but Gabriel had been the one to reject her first, when she’d been longing to have him beside her again in the long night hours after he’d served his sentence, but instead he’d gone straight to the London house.
And even when he had come to Swallowbrook he had set a precedent that first night by sleeping in the spare room. Hurt and angry, she’d gone along with it and now she was the one who was choosing to sleep alone and wondering how long she could stand the loneliness of it.
The two of them talked more about surface things than what really mattered, yet she was there, wasn’t she, ready and willing to accept a life of lesser closeness if he would only open up to her.
When they stepped onto the deck beside her Gabriel bent and kissed her meaningfully and when he put her away from him Laura saw a glint in the dark eyes looking down at her.
‘That was for the benefit of those who have been sizing me up,’ he said in a low voice as a waiter approached with a tray of drinks, and after passing glasses of fruit juice to the children he took champagne for himself when Laura indicated that she wasn’t drinking while she was on duty.
The caterers were about to depart before the boat set sail and leaving Gabriel and the three children for a moment she went to thank them for their efforts. When she turned to rejoin them it seemed that Sophie, Josh and Sophie’s friend Lily had already found Toby, and Ruby and Hugo had joined Gabriel, which left her free to make sure that all her other arrangements were up to the standard of the catering.
After the presentation had been made and most of the food eaten, Libby said, ‘Laura, go and join your family and relax. There is nothing else that you need concern yourself about.’
Maybe not about the party, she thought, but her concerns about the future were many, though it wasn’t the moment to be worrying about that, so she said, ‘Yes, I will if you don’t mind. Gabriel was with Ruby and Hugo, but I think they’ve met up with friends and he doesn’t know many people here.’
Gabriel was leaning against the rail of the boat with arms folded when she found him, staring down thoughtfully at the foaming backwash that it was creating as it ploughed slowly through the water, and when she tucked her arm in his he straightened up and asked, ‘Is that it, the finish of a job well done?’
‘More or less,’ she replied, and thought that Libby must surely be thinking along those lines as she said goodbye to the practice that she’d served so faithfully.
Looking around her, she asked, ‘Where are the children?’
‘They’re on the lower deck, playing games with the other young ones on board,’ he told her. He looked around him at the rest of the party guests. ‘Now can I get you a drink?’
‘Yes, please,’ she said thankfully, and as she watched him stride off towards the bar thought achingly that her husband was a man amongst men, compassionate, caring, clever, and for once in his life so unsure of himself that he couldn’t or wouldn’t talk to her about it.
The magical sail across the long length of the lake and back was over. The party guests were making their way home, but the first stop for Laura and Gabriel was at the farm where Sophie’s friend Lily lived, and once she had been safely delivered to her parents he drove them the short distance to Swallows Barn with Josh already asleep in the back seat of the car.
Scooping him up into his arms, Gabriel carried him inside and deposited him just as he was onto his bed and then drew the covers over him, and as Laura helped a tired Sophie to undress and then disappeared into her own room, silence descended on the house.
They were all tired except him, Gabriel thought, going out to sit in the moonlit garden. He felt restless and on edge as he thought of Laura sleeping above after a task completed to her satisfaction.
It was clear that she’d found the right sort of niche in the job at the practice and was able to see the results of her efforts the same as it had once been for him, and he couldn’t go on much longer as the ‘layabout’ she’d described him as in a moment of frustration.
His life now was what he’d sometimes yearned for during the long and taxing days on the unit, yet its appeal was dwindling. He loved being with Laura and the children, but something had to give. He couldn’t hold back any longer.
The energy he’d always had was back, the urge to heal and make well again was there once more, and so was Laura, who’d been hurt and ignored, and would be hurt again, beyond belief, if she was ever made to feel that she was the stumbling block that was keeping him from his patients.
A light footstep behind him and she was there, dressed in a crumpled nightdress, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. When he gazed at her in surprise she said thickly, ‘I went into your room. You weren’t there and it all came back! The nights when I wandered around knowing that you were somewhere else, in a strange place, far away from us. So I had to come and find you, to make sure that you were actually here, that I wasn’t dreaming.’
She was swaying with tiredness and was turning to go back to bed now that she’d satisfied herself that he was there, where she could see him.
’Of course I’m here, Laura. Where else would I be?’ he said gently, and even as he said it a vision of the operating theatre where he’d spent so many hours came back to plague him.
He swept her up into his arms and she lay there limply as he carried her up the stairs with the same gentleness that he’d shown to Josh earlier. After laying her carefully between the covers he sat beside her and held her hand until she was soundly asleep once more, and then went across the landing and opened his bedroom door wide, so that if she should awake again with the same feeling of dread she would be able to see him not f
ar away.
* * *
His unexplained absence on the night when he’d left the house and not said where he was going had been because he’d had a phone call from Nathan during the day while Laura was at the practice. It had been about something they’d discussed a few times but hadn’t yet brought to a conclusion, though not for the want of trying, and he had told Nathan that he would call round that evening.
When they’d finished talking, and he was leaving Nathan and Libby’s extended cottage across the way from the surgery he’d said, ‘I would be obliged if you didn’t say anything about this to Laura in case nothing comes of it, Nathan. I’ve caused her enough distress already and don’t want her to feel that I’ve messed up our lives once again if it turns out to be a letdown.’
As he’d gone striding off Nathan had thought that there went a man who had been to hell and back because of doing the job he excelled at to the extreme. He had paid a heavy price because of it, and there weren’t many like him around.
Gabriel had come away from their chat feeling optimistic about the future, that if they gave him the go-ahead at the hearing he was going to be able to get it sorted soon in all their best interests.
But now, after seeing Laura’s distress when she’d dreamt that she was back in the days of his imprisonment, he decided that tomorrow he would wait to see if she mentioned the bad dream.
It could have been that her mind had been on overdrive after the pressures of being responsible for the party arrangements. She’d been down by the lake most of the day and had been exhausted by the time they’d arrived home.
It was a long time before he fell into a restless sleep when he went up to bed, and his first thoughts on waking were of when she’d appeared in such distress and let down her guard about the bad times of when he’d been taken from them.
Marriage Miracle in Swallowbrook Page 10
