Even in his thoughts, it sounded unbelievable.
Charlie took a step towards Michelle. Just one step and then he froze in place.
He could see a group approaching Michelle’s table, flowing inevitably towards her. Vampire Vanessa, flanked by two more cheerleaders, Sandy and Tina. Behind them, Cody and Glenn Mack and Ryan Fender. Ryan Fender, most likely the source of the punch that had made Charlie’s head spin that morning. Cody, the guy who had ordered the punch. More of Michelle’s friends, a procession of them, headed for her table.
He could see Michelle perk up as Vanessa called out to her. Charlie was too far away to hear, but he could see Michelle raise her head, and could see her smiling and nodding to the approaching group. Vanessa set down her tray next to Michelle, and Sandy and Tina did the same. Cody and Glenn were already grabbing another table and moving it next to Michelle’s. A long table for them all to sit.
I can’t do it, Charlie thought. If it was just her alone, maybe I could. But I can’t sit with all her friends. I just don’t belong there.
He realized then that it was just a fantasy, the idea that he could bring their fling into the daylight. Seeing her, surrounded by her friends, he understood that what he and Michelle shared in private could never be revealed to the world. It was a secret link between them, a bond meant for empty schools and empty trains. Michelle had been alone before with her secret impulses; now he had joined her in her hidden life, and she wasn’t alone anymore. Nevertheless, her secret still separated the two of them from everyone else.
He gazed at Michelle, surrounded by her circle of friends. Enjoy her, he thought to them. Talk to her, have fun with her, even go to the prom with her. But you’ll never truly know her. Not like I do. You’ve never seen her face as filled with life as I have.
He would talk to her later, sometime when he could speak to her alone. Maybe he would spend his lunch brainstorming a way to present Ronni’s Greenholt Gardens offer to her. Of course, first he would have to gently break the news to her that he had told Ronni everything, and that was a conversation he wasn’t looking forward to.
Or maybe he’d leave Ronni out of it and think of something else he and Michelle could do together. Maybe they could just get together and drive, leave Pine Hills behind and drive for miles and miles. Find someplace else to be for an evening, someplace where no one knew them. Someplace far from Cody and Glenn and all the rest of them.
Charlie let his eyes linger on Michelle one last time as he turned to leave the cafeteria. Was it a fair exchange? To give up any public association with Michelle in exchange for the private life he shared with her? Resigning himself to watching her from the other side of the cafeteria, from the other side of the hallway, from his camera perch at the top of the bleachers, knowing that later when she was alone with him she would be naked and beautiful in his arms? Was he satisfied with that deal?
Yes, he decided. It was enough. More than he ever hoped for.
He turned and walked out of the cafeteria.
***
As he walked away, uncertain where he was going, Charlie moved to the side of the hallway to avoid the flow of students that headed into the cafeteria. He was almost at the end of the hall when he stopped abruptly.
Michelle! It was Michelle! He saw her walking right towards him, part of the stream of students walking to lunch. So that girl he’d just seen in the cafeteria, sitting with Cody and Glenn and Vampire Vanessa… That wasn’t Michelle at all! He’d made a mistake, misidentified some other girl with long dark hair. What a dummy!
He raised his hand to Michelle, smiling, about to greet her.
The instant before he spoke, he realized he was wrong. It wasn’t Michelle walking towards him. He vaguely recognized this dark-haired girl; she was a sophomore, and Charlie didn’t know her name. She didn’t even really look like Michelle. Charlie’s hand wilted to his side. How could he have made that mistake? Was it a matter of his eyes seeing what he wanted to see?
Charlie stopped, putting his back against the wall, watching the dark-haired girl as she passed by him. A stranger, she didn’t notice him, didn’t look at him. She just walked right by as if he wasn’t there.
He turned, no longer looking at the dark-haired girl, now looking at the cafeteria door as it opened and closed. He was shaking his head without noticing what he was doing. “No.” He spoke out loud. “No. It’s not enough.”
He couldn’t go back to walking past Michelle and pretending he didn’t know her. Having her walk past him. He didn’t just want the secret part of her life.
He wanted all of it.
“Shit,” he swore softly, squeezing his hands into fists, knowing what he had to do. “Come on, Charlie. If you’re gonna go, then go. Don’t keep her waiting.” He took a deep breath. “She’s worth it.” He felt like he could repeat those three words over and over again, like a mantra, to keep his resolve firm. He left the wall and went back into the cafeteria.
He didn’t go directly towards Michelle. The whole idea was that they were going to have lunch together, so he needed to buy himself a lunch. He went to one of the refrigerated bins and grabbed a pre-packaged chicken salad sandwich, then grabbed a bottle of Sprite. He didn’t even feel hungry; the sandwich and soda were more like props. He stood in line at the register and handed the cashier a twenty. He almost walked away without his change.
He skirted the edge of the cafeteria, eyeing the group that now took up three tables in the middle of the cafeteria. He could see Michelle’s profile clearly now, sitting right in the middle of the group. She was smiling, talking to Vanessa. She wore a thin-strapped blue dress that left her shoulders mostly bare. What was it Greg Arden had said once, in this same cafeteria? “That Michelle Santos always has something on…”
Charlie changed course, heading directly for that cluster of three tables with his sandwich and his Sprite. He approached from an angle that was just behind Michelle’s peripheral vision, so she didn’t see him coming towards her, and she wasn’t likely to notice him until he was right up at her table.
No one paid him any attention until he was almost right behind Michelle, and it was Tina who noticed him first. She sat across from Michelle, and she glanced up at him as he approached. At first, her eyes dropped back down, showing little interest, and then something clicked in her mind and she looked back up at him, now very interested. She grinned, glancing between him and Michelle.
Charlie stood awkwardly, surveying the group. Vanessa sat to Michelle’s left, and Sandy to her right. Tina sat across from Sandy, and Glenn sat across from Vanessa. In between Sandy and Glenn, across from Michelle, a chair sat empty.
His seat. Michelle had saved it for him.
Charlie saw the faces looking up at him, the different reactions to his presence. Vanessa looked startled, Glenn looked puzzled. Sandy’s face matched Tina’s, a grin of delighted interest. Cody looked annoyed and Ryan Fender almost looked impressed.
Michelle looked up at him and she had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. She didn’t say anything, only pointed at the empty seat across from her.
As Charlie circled the cluster of tables, heading for that empty seat, he heard Cody say, “THAT’S who you were saving the seat for?”
***
Charlie sat with Michelle’s friends expecting to be eyed suspiciously as an outsider, particularly after the way Cody had treated him earlier that day. But Cody mostly kept his thoughts to himself (aside from a few barbed comments) and Charlie was surprised to find that most of Michelle’s friends were friendly to him. Vanessa, who more than anyone else must have realized what Charlie’s presence meant for Michelle, made a clear effort to engage him in the conversation, and Sandy and Tina kept smiling at him and giggling.
He expected some animosity from Glenn; after all, weren’t they rivals for the same girl? But Glenn was actually very friendly towards him, first asking questions about a highlight reel Charlie had edited together for the football team and
then becoming very interested when Charlie mentioned pursuing a career in film. As they discussed different movies, Charlie found to his astonishment that he was beginning to like Glenn. The tall football player actually seemed like a pretty cool guy.
Maybe Glenn didn’t see him as a rival for Michelle. It made sense. Glenn didn’t know about the kiss in the train station; Cody had intentionally kept that information from him. And he was still taking Michelle to the prom. Maybe Glenn just saw Charlie as one of Michelle’s odd friends, maybe a means to get closer to her.
Probably a guy like Glenn wouldn’t see someone like Charlie as a rival anyway. Glenn was tall, handsome, athletic. What did he have to fear from a quiet loner like Charlie?
Michelle acted shy, speaking very little, only slipping in a comment now and then. Whenever Charlie glanced in her direction, she always seemed to be peeking at him, and she always had the same little smile on her lips.
“You’ve barely touched your sandwich,” she observed as lunch period came near to ending.
“Oh. Yeah,” he said, looking down at his sandwich with three bites out of it. “I’ll save it for later.”
She nodded, her eyes twinkling. The same little smile.
Glenn got to his feet. “Better get to class,” he said. “What do you have now, Charlie?”
“Video 3.”
“Awesome. I’ll see you around then.” Glenn clapped him on the shoulder, before turning to leave with Cody and a few of the other football players.
Charlie stood, uncertain how Michelle would say goodbye to him in public. He felt slightly disappointed when she only waved at him and said, “Bye, Charlie!” before flitting away with her circle of friends. That disappointment was somewhat tempered when several of the other cheerleaders also said goodbye to him, including Vanessa, who gave him an assessing look before turning away.
He lingered behind, watching the group of girls as they left the cafeteria, in particular watching Michelle, her blue dress clinging to her perfect figure as she walked out the door. The lunch group had dispersed; Charlie had arrived alone, and he would leave alone.
That was fine. He had done it! Lunch with Michelle, out where everyone could see, and it couldn’t have gone better. Charlie felt like he was floating as he walked to his next class. He felt like smiling and saying hi to everyone he passed.
His good mood lasted all through the afternoon, up to the point where he walked to his car after school and discovered all of his tires had been slashed.
***
He would have preferred that Daryl not get involved, but it was impossible to hide his slashed tires from the security guard, especially when he had his car jacked up with a stack of tires next to it. Charlie found a nearby place called Discount Tire Warehouse, and after Charlie explained his predicament over the phone, the sales manager agreed to deliver four slightly worn replacement tires to the school parking lot. Unfortunately, Charlie couldn’t afford the labor to have the tires changed, so he was stuck doing that himself.
“Who the hell did this?” the guard fumed. “I’m not going to let this kind of thing happen in my parking lot.”
Charlie tried to evade the question, but Daryl wouldn’t drop it. Finally, Charlie told him, “I had lunch with Michelle today in the cafeteria. I think I probably made someone jealous.”
“Who?” Daryl looked at him intently. “You have an idea?”
“I don’t know for sure…” Charlie said. “You don’t have to worry about it. It’s my problem.”
“The hell I don’t have to worry about it. I’m the security guard. It happened in my parking lot. That means it involves me. You have any idea who it was, even just a notion, you tell me. I’ll find ‘em and make ‘em admit it.”
Charlie held up his hands. “I don’t know. Someone who’s pissed that I’m hanging out with Michelle. That’s my best theory, and unfortunately it doesn’t narrow it down much. Lots of guys like Michelle.”
Daryl scowled. “All right. All right. Maybe that’s all I got to go on. But maybe it’s enough.” He nodded to himself and muttered, “Maybe it’s more than enough.” The guard dropped the subject, although the stony scowl never left his face as he helped Charlie change the four tires.
Charlie finally made it home three hours after school let out. He could see that his mom’s car wasn’t there, which was a relief. She would have asked why he was at school so late, and he had no idea how he would have explained to her that someone had intentionally flattened all his tires.
“Just an act of random vandalism, mom,” he murmured to himself as he unlocked the front door. “Could have been anyone.”
She probably would have insisted on calling the police.
As it was, he doubted she would notice his car had different tires. The discount replacement tires he bought were used and already showed some wear. They wouldn’t stand out like new tires would have. And his mom was not the most observant person.
He noticed the message light blinking on the answering machine. He pressed the button and heard his mom’s voice. “I’m gonna be late, Charlie…” she said. “We’re doing an inventory of one of the storerooms and I need to cover a swing shift. See you later tonight, okay?”
Charlie went to the kitchen to cook himself some dinner. He was just starting the microwave when his phone rang. He glanced at the name on the screen. Michelle. The first time she’d ever called him.
He walked to the living room and answered the call. “Hello?”
“Charlie?” Michelle’s voice.
“Yeah. Hi.”
“Are you okay? Are you still at the school?”
“No.” Charlie sat down in a chair. “I’m at home.”
“I heard about your tires. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Do you know who it was?” Charlie asked.
Michelle hesitated. “I got mad at him,” she said.
“Cody?”
“Vanessa and I yelled at him. He said he didn’t do it… but I know he had something to do with it. Charlie… he’s going to pay you back for the damage. How much was it?”
“He’s going to pay me back?” Charlie thought he must have misheard.
“He is. How much?”
“Um… about $250 for four tires. Four used tires.”
“Ok. I’ll get the money from him and give it to you.”
“Wow,” Charlie said. “Thanks, Michelle. What did you say to him? You must have really let him have it.”
“Well…” she said, “Vanessa was with me.”
“Right. He’s dating Vanessa. I forgot about that.”
“Mm… I don’t know that they’re really dating…” Michelle said. Her voice sounded subdued.
“Okay. But they’re going to the prom together. That kind of means they’re dating, right?”
“No… I mean, I don’t know.” Michelle paused. “Charlie, I need to tell you something.”
“What?”
“I hope you won’t be mad.”
Charlie sat up in his chair. “What is it?”
“When I talked to Cody… I had to tell him that there’s nothing between you and me. I told him you and I are just friends. I mean, that I just see you as a friend.”
Charlie held the phone to his ear, his body motionless. “Is that true?” he asked. “Do you just see me as a friend?”
“No…” she said softly. “It’s not true. You’re not just a friend.”
“Then why’d you say it to him?”
“So he’ll leave you alone.”
Charlie scowled. “So you’re going to let him win.”
“No…” She paused. “It’s just none of his business. He thinks it’s his business, he thinks he’s being a good friend to Glenn. But I don’t belong to Glenn or anybody.”
“So then why didn’t you tell him to stay out of it?”
“Because…” She hesitated. “I just don’t know if that’ll work. I mean, I don’t think he’ll
stay out of it. Glenn is his friend…” She sighed. “Please, Charlie… just until prom, okay? I told Glenn I would go with him. I mean… I still hope I’ll see you… outside of school…. but at school, can we just be friends?”
Charlie closed his eyes. “So back to walking past you pretending I don’t know you.”
“Um, friends say hi to each other, you know. I’m not asking you to pretend you don’t know me.” Michelle paused, then continued in a softer voice, “I just… I don’t want Cody watching us. Following us, to see what we’re doing. I don’t want him taking any more pictures… because… what if he catches me? And what if he takes a picture of me?”
“Oh…” Charlie nodded slowly. “Like outside.”
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Outside. Like what if he takes a picture and shows it to everyone? He almost caught us on Saturday. I had just put my dress back on when he saw us.”
“Right,” Charlie said, thinking that he had been the one to put her dress back on. Michelle had shown every intention of stepping out of the train while still completely naked. That would have presented an interesting picture for Cody to take. “I see what you’re saying. So… you think we’re going to have more… adventures?”
“Well… I’m having fun. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” Charlie suddenly thought of Ronni. He needed to tell Michelle that Ronni knew what they’d been doing. But it didn’t seem like the right time to tell her. “Okay. Just friends at school. Outside of school…”
“Bonnie and Clyde,” she said.
“Our secret life of crime.”
She giggled. “Yeah.”
“You know, Daryl was pretty mad about the tire thing. I told him I didn’t know for sure who did it. But he seemed pretty set on figuring out who it was.”
“Oh. Well… if Cody pays you back, do you think you could talk to Daryl and get him to drop it?”
“Maybe,” Charlie said. “I can try. He is the security guard, though.”
“Yeah. What about your mom? What did she say?”
Saturday Night School 3: Naked Departures Page 4
