by A. Rosaria
“I came back for her. I saved her from Skip, who had turned.”
“Only after you put her life in danger.”
The woman was right. His position wasn‘t the strongest here.
“Look, I didn‘t mean for this to happen. I didn‘t ask to be in this situation. I‘m sorry.”
There was not much else he could say. The woman looked at him, and not one moment her face relaxed. Around him the people had grown quiet. Guess this was a dead end. Sarah and he would have to manage on their own.
“Here!” He pushed the bottle with penicillin in her hand. “It‘s antibiotics. The same ones they make for humans. They bottled it up as fish medicine. I‘m not a doctor so I haven‘t the slightest idea how much to give her. However, it can do no harm giving her one. After that, it‘s up to you.”
He walked over to the gate, kicked the support beam away, and slid the makeshift door aside. These people didn‘t want him here, and he had no plans overstaying his welcome.
The tall woman followed him. With a couple of quick, long strides, she grabbed his wrist.
“You don‘t have to go,” she said much softer than she had addressed him before.
She led him out of earshot. “I had to interfere and be harsh. Had I not, that old fool would have riled up the people. I‘m glad you brought her back in one piece; you did whatever you had to. I‘m sorry if I offended you. If you decide to stay, you‘ll come to know this group better and you will understand why I did as I did. Don‘t mistake me thinking these people are bad, in fact they are great, but very afraid, and the few rotten apples feed on this.”
Ralph was at a loss of words. She must be a hell of an actress because he believed every last bit of the scolding he got, maybe more so because it was true. He failed Brenda; he saw that now.
“You don‘t have to apologize,” Ralph said. “I‘ve my share of blame for what happened.”
The woman smiled broadly at him. It softened her stern face, while still holding the sharpness from within her. “I‘m glad I wasn‘t wrong in liking you. You‘re the kind of guy we need around here. I‘m sure if you stay you‘ll be of use to me, to us all I mean.”
“A guy who makes mistakes?” Ralph said sarcastically.
“No, one who admits he makes them. Someone we can trust.”
She offered her hand, an honest and firm hand, he noticed, as he shook it.
“You can call me Clem.”
“Ralph, pleased to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine. So what do you say? Coming back?”
He nodded. Things had turned out okay after all. Now, if only he could convince them to help out against the research center.
“Great, now follow me, and play along.”
Ralph helped her slide the plywood back into place and replaced the support against the panel. The old man approached them and stood, waiting to face them.
“What‘s he doing back? I thought we got rid of him.”
“After I talked with him some more, he showed remorse and apologized. That and he gave us antibiotics, which made me consider giving him a second chance.”
“A chance? Him? He almost got Brenda killed!”
Ralph was seething; he wanted to give the old man a knock on his head, but he kept calm and quiet. He looked down, trying to look at his most subdued.
“He‘s on probation. Later, after we hear Brenda‘s side of the story, we will vote on it. For now, he stays.”
“Screw that! You are up to something; I know you are.” The old man barged away as he threw a warning Ralph‘s way. “Boy, you better watch out in here. There are vipers hidden where you least expect them.”
“Albert! You better know what you are doing. You‘re on thin ice with us, and it takes just one little nudge to get rid of you.”
It amazed Ralph how quickly things had turned nasty. It might be what happened when people stuck together more out of necessity than choice. Such partnerships didn‘t always make the most compatible people band together. But it was like Clem said, there were bad apples thrown in, who, if left to fester, would spoil the rest. Albert was probably a bad apple, a man too quick to judge and too narrow-minded to see an opportunity when it presented itself. A pain in the ass all the way. Maybe it was the stress of being alive, maybe after a while the old guy would mellow out. Right now Albert could pose a problem to his plan to get the group to side with him.
Ralph looked at the faces around him; they were full of distrust and fear. A difficult crowd, yet they managed to stay alive this long, so he had to give them some credit. They must be capable people, even if fear made for a bad advisor. Could it be they were afraid to lose the safety they had found behind the wooden wall, afraid to lose the little hope they gained? Who knew? He had yet to secure hope. Lauryn was dead and Sarah was out there in danger. This world was already an unforgiving one, and clinging too much to hope was an easy way to die.
Clem went to check on Brenda. She handed over the penicillin to the short woman who was bandaging Brenda‘s shoulder.
“You were a nurse, weren‘t you? You and your brother.”
The man answered, “We helped out old people; we are more like caretakers than nurses.”
Clem shot the man a glance. From how she looked at him, Ralph took it she didn‘t like him that much. Her look only changed a little when she addressed the woman. Not much love for her either.
“You know what you‘ve got to do with it, don‘t you?”
The woman looked doubtful at the pills in her hand. The man was about to answer.
“Paul, please, she can talk for herself.”
With a thin, shallow voice, she did answer. “I think I can. I once had to take care of an old lady who had an infection. I can give Brenda the same dosage as I did then, but I don‘t know.”
She looked at the pills, then at Brenda, and down to the ground.
“And? Spit it out.”
“Come on, you know she doesn‘t like to talk. Leave her be.”
“Each patient varies and so does the dosage. It may be too small or too much for Brenda. Only a doctor could say for sure.”
A better guess than he would have made. Ralph was glad that at least someone knew something, too bad that someone wasn‘t confident about her own abilities.
“We don‘t have a doctor, so your guess will have to do. Take good care of her.”
Clem left Brenda‘s side and gestured for Ralph to follow her. A rather large area was cordoned off with plywood fastened between trees; they had used a lot of timber and effort to put that up. At the haphazard way it was put together, you could see it was done in haste and less sturdy than it could have been if they had more time. He guessed it was built for now, as if it were nothing more than an early warning against zombies, giving the camp some time to get away when an attack happened. About thirty tents fit inside. Most of the people had gone back in their tents, though Albert was still out, glaring at them as he talked to two men and one woman. Ralph followed Clem inside her tent, away from Albert‘s prying eyes.
“Make yourself comfortable.”
A large orange backpack took half the space and a bedroll the other half. He sat on the bedroll, near the tent‘s exit, while Clem took the other side, leaning her back against the backpack. Their knees almost touched.
“Now tell me everything.”
“I already told you everything.”
“No, I mean everything. From the time it all started until now and don‘t leave out the juicy details.”
“It‘s a long story.”
“Don‘t you worry, we have time.”
She may have time, but he didn‘t. It was still morning but too close to noon to lose time. Sarah would be expecting him soon. To tell his story right now would swallow too much precious time.
“I really think it should wait.”
Clem stared at him for a long while before answering and when she did some of her niceness had left her, replaced with the same vileness with which she had talked to Paul and his sister.
“Your whole body betrays that you want to leave and be someplace else, but before you go you need something, else you would have never returned with me. So please tell the whole story and we might know if we can help you.”
Clem didn‘t really leave him an option, so he started talking. To his annoyance, she slowed him down a lot, telling him he was going too fast for her to get it all in. He told her about how the sick kids got separated and put on buses. How he got onto one, faking being ill so he could skip an exam, and how the buses went to a disposal unit. He told her about his escape. When he mentioned leaving Lauryn behind, Clem‘s face turned angry, but she kept silent about it. He told her about Norm, his trip back, the fight to get inside the school and back out. Having seen her reaction about leaving Lauryn, he left out the part where he shot the girl to save Lilly. He continued on about how he and Sarah escaped the school, what happened at their houses, and the two men he shot at the pharmacy. Her face softened when he told her how killing those men made him feel. He quickly went over their escape from the military and the nuking of his town. From there, he elaborated about the part he had already told them about his chance encounter with Skip and Frank and getting to Brenda‘s camp.
A good hour later, he came to what happened to Sarah in the RV and their plan with the research center. Clem looked away thoughtfully when he finished.
“That was some story. There are many like that one here, although none about this research center of yours. I don‘t know if the others will go for it. I want answers as much as you do, but most just want to be safe and left alone.”
“I do get that; if some wanted to come along with us, it would be better than just two. Or at least you could give us a car. The sooner we get going the better.”
“Yeah, you made that clear already.”
She moved closer to him and grabbed his hand. “How much do you want our help? And what would you do to get it?”
Clem started unbuttoning her shirt. Each loose button revealed more of her cleavage. It was only now Ralph noticed her breast and it lit a fire in him. A lust he almost immediately rejected. This wasn‘t right.
“Wow, that‘s a turn off. That distasteful expression. Am I not good enough for you?”
“We don‘t have time for this. Sarah is expecting me.”
She forced his hand on her breast. Firm, round, nipple erect. Where was this coming from? She was ten years his senior, and this wasn‘t the time for this, nor was it appropriate.
“Doesn‘t it feel good?” She pressed harder. It did feel good, but still he pulled back. With a dissatisfied grunt, she threw his hand aside and buttoned up.
“I expected as much. You like this girl Sarah, though you don‘t want to admit it. What would you have done if I really wanted to have sex with you? What? Would you have run back to your darling or pulled those pants down? ‘Cause I can see a tiny part of you wants to come out and play.”
Ralph felt embarrassed by this. Clem was tall, athletically built, had an aura of authority that he liked—all that made her alluring and attractive—but he had Sarah to think about. And the way the woman behaved felt erratic and made him doubt whether this was such a good idea. She completely blindsided him with this sudden demonstration of lust. She was supposed to be a leader, but it seemed she was at the edge of breaking down with her odd behavior.
“Don‘t keep staring at me; you‘re in my way.”
Ralph backed out of the tent with Clem following him close, too close. She smiled as she came out. Before they were completely outside. She hugged him and pressed her lips close to his ear. “Play along for just a little longer.”
A man a head taller than Ralph was waiting outside. It was evident from the way he glared that he disliked the way she touched him. The man was struggling not to say something and failed. “You couldn‘t wait to bed him.”
“Not now, Donny. It isn‘t time for your insecurities.” Clem held Ralph tighter. “We got stuff to discuss.”
“We? Discuss? I don‘t have to accept this from you anymore. I‘m leaving.”
“Wait!” Clem let go of Ralph and hugged Donny, preventing him from walking away. “Don‘t. I‘ll stop teasing you if you just help us out.”
“Help him, you mean? After what he did?”
“Me?” Ralph asked.
“Oh, don‘t play dumb after fucking her.”
“I didn‘t!”
“Albert told me he saw her take you in her tent. You think I‘m daft in not realizing why. You prick.”
Were they shitting him? Was he being used as some plaything, tossed about for whomever? Who were these people? And Clem, she did this knowingly, for whatever selfish reasons she had.
Clem started laughing. “Donny, Donny, Donny, and you Ralphie, how easy are you manipulated. Both of you should stop carrying yourselves so close to the surface, else someone else can use it against you. Look what it did to you. Donny, it really pisses me off that you of all people would doubt me and doubt the way I feel about you, and how you allowed Albert to turn you against me. And Ralph, let this be a lesson to you to guard yourself more. Now both of you stay here and wait, while I go gather the group and bring them up to speed.”
She walked away, leaving them dumbfounded. The one looking more in shock than the other.
“What‘s up with her?” Ralph said.
“I‘ve got no idea. She is weird like this. And God damn me, she is right. It happened again. I love that woman and still I allowed that bastard Albert to cast my mind in doubt.”
“Well she didn‘t make it easier for you.”
Donny huffed, grabbed Ralph‘s hand, and shook it. “The name is Don, and please, never call me Donny like she does. I‘m sorry how I behaved before.”
“I don‘t blame you. She left you little choice.”
Don shook his head. “You‘re wrong there. Clem may be unorthodox in her way, but she is right most of the time.”
Was she really? Certainly he never met someone like Clem, dead serious one moment and totally erratic the next, and to think this might be intentional to throw people off, to teach them a lesson, not caring even how the person would take it. She just went and did whatever. By all means she could be a monster he should handle with care, yet somehow he liked her and Don.
From a distance, they watched a group gather around Clem, about thirty men and women, by no means the whole group. At most that would mean she had the support of two-thirds of the camp. Was the rest on Albert‘s side? Or did they just not care and were neutral to the goings on of this group? Clem moved her hands energetically as she talked, occasionally pointing in his direction. The glances he got from the crowd varied between curiosity and fearful animosity. At the end of her long speech, she asked the question and five people raised their hands, one of which was Paul.
The disappointment of the total number of hands going up was clearly seen on Clem‘s face. Many who didn‘t raise their hands were looking down or away, ashamed to have admitted their fear and inaction. Still, five extra pair of hands and eyes would be better than what he had now. He only hoped they had a suitable way to move around, because the clock was ticking and walking wouldn‘t do.
Clem returned, followed by Paul and four others, one woman and three men. The men were average looking, wore sturdy clothes, and their faces were grim. They nodded at Ralph as they approached, but kept their distance. The woman, Ralph realized, was Paul‘s sister. The two he most certainly thought would not join up.
“How‘s Brenda?” Ralph asked her.
“She is better, awake now and asking for you. She told us all about what you did.”
She smiled faintly at him. Whatever Brenda said about him, it must have been highly exaggerated for these people to step forward. He was glad Brenda was awake.
Clem cut the conversation short. “Go, gear up, folks. We move out in fifteen minutes. Gather at the parking lot.”
Clem watched them go to their tents, shaking her head as she did. “What a sorry excuse of people. Who
would have thought Paul would come? Maybe he‘s not the coward I thought he was, or he has gone plain stupid.” She spat on the ground. “Says a lot for those who didn‘t raise their hands. Makes me wonder, really wonder.”
Clem kissed Don gently on his lips and whispered something in his ear. The man smiled and walked away.
“You know, Ralph. I might have been a bitch to the two of you, but I like you and I love that man. Love him so much it hurts.”
A look of anguished worry passed over her face when she said that. There it was, the honest fear she hid behind the mask of brashness she used as cover. She was human after all, and it was good she had fear. It meant she could be careful, and loving someone made sure of that. Ralph felt better about that.
“Go see Brenda. I know you want to. Just don‘t lead her on, or drag her anymore into this than she already is.”
Ralph nodded. He didn‘t know what she meant about leading Brenda on, but he wanted to see her, that much was true. As Clem disappeared into her tent, he went to where the stretcher had been. The stretcher was gone and a tent was in its place. He found Brenda sitting on a sleeping bag and looking miserable.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” she said, smiling as she saw him enter.
He sat next to her. “I came to say goodbye.”
“You‘re going?” Her eyes shot full of worry. “Forever?”
“No silly, to the research center I told you about.”
“Oh, you convinced them.”
“About five of them and of course Clem and Don.”
“So few? Maybe you shouldn‘t go.”
“I have no choice. Sarah depends on me. I can‘t leave her stranded; if no one had joined I would have gone out alone.”
“You care a lot about her, do you?”
Somehow he knew she wouldn‘t like his answer. It was the way she looked at him, hopeful, a longing in her eyes.
“Yes, I do like her.”
Her whole body dipped a little with his answer and she looked away.
“Take me with you, please. Linda told me that I should take a pill every twelve hours, and I would be good. I feel great already.”
He knew now what that meant for her to say that. She probably was near collapsing, though able to drudge on for another day. No, this time he would be the wiser.
