by Mike McCrary
Except he knows that’s not true.
He wonders if anything will ever be okay again.
“Come on,” Hattie says to the girls. “Get your plates. We’re eating in the bedroom.”
“Why?” the girls ask.
“Daddy needs some alone time.”
She gathers up her daughters, helping them pick up their plates and glasses, leaving her own behind on the table. Her food barely touched. They move off to the back bedroom, away from Davis, without looking back. Davis feels his chest rise and fall as he fights to get his breathing right. As the bedroom door shuts, he pushes away from the table hard, wanting to turn the table over and shatter everything on it to the floor.
He hates himself for what just happened, for how he handled it.
He has no idea how to smooth this over. This is something that will hang over them for a long time. Maybe forever. This is a memory the girls will hang on to their whole lives, and it cannot be undone. The night at the lake house when Daddy lost it at dinner because Mommy talked to a man.
A man.
Davis’s guts churn, thinking that Justin is near. He’s out there somewhere, roaming free. Was he really the cashier or did he pop up and introduce himself? Davis still doesn’t know.
Did that monster talk to my family? Was it some kind of warning? That he can get to me anywhere?
His phone buzzes in his pocket. Davis jumps in his seat. A new chill rolls up his back. He releases a sigh of relief as he checks his phone. It’s a text, but not from Justin.
This one’s from Todd.
Talked to some people. Got some good ideas for getting rid of that asshole.
28
Davis wakes up early the next morning.
He didn’t sleep much. Short micro-naps in between checking his phone.
Hattie didn’t come to bed last night.
He notices the door is still closed to the girls’ room. He guesses she crashed in there for the night. Looking to her empty spot in the bed, he realizes something. This was the first night he and his wife hadn’t slept in the same bed since they’d been married. They’d slept in the same bed many nights prior to getting married, of course, but last night was a first of sorts. At least, it’s the first time it was a conscious decision to sleep separately. Davis doesn’t travel much, so it’s strange for Hattie not to be there when he wakes up.
He thinks of the last morning he woke up without her.
He thinks of LA.
His things neatly packed by the bed. His body freshly showered. His hair washed and combed. The hangover medicine laid out for him with the glass of water. The card on the dresser.
Davis gets out of bed and immediately heads to the small room he’s turned into an office. Skipping coffee and food. He wants to dig into the emails Todd was supposed to send during the night. Todd’s good ideas for getting rid of that asshole.
Davis tried to get ahold of him most of the night, but didn’t hear back.
He fires up the computer, letting it work its magic. Looking back over the text from Todd last night, Davis feels a renewed hope this might still work out. Clinging to the edge of that hope, he lets his mind imagine a future day when this will all blow over.
Last night was a disaster, no doubt, but if Todd’s right then Davis can still get past this little speed bump and return to the way life used to be. It’ll take some time and a lot of work on his part, but he thinks he can get past it. The girls are young. Hattie might be a tougher sell.
As the computer finishes booting up, Davis starts up his email. He wants to jump out of his skin, waiting for the emails to load. All the notifications of can’t miss sales, credit card deals and vacation getaway options stream down. There’s only one sender Davis wants to see.
There it is.
Todd.
Davis opens up the email, scanning over what Todd sent only minutes ago. Most of it is Todd babbling about how amazing he is, per usual for Todd. The guy can’t order a sandwich without throwing in some praise for himself. It used to rub him the wrong way, but Davis has come to love that about his friend. Part of him wishes he were more like that. More assertive in his own life. More confident in who he is. Davis marvels at how Todd charges through life as if he already knows the outcome is going to be a success.
Davis questions everything, as if he already knows the outcome is failure. This is also the thing that makes their partnership work. The balance between the two. There have also been more than a few times Davis has had to tap the brakes on one of Todd’s tangents, a couple that could have broken the company.
Now Davis is the one about to break the company.
If those pictures get out, if their business contacts get a look at those, this business is over. Over before it really gets a chance to show what it can do. It kills Davis that he might be the architect of the company’s demise. He loves what they’ve built, and the idea of being responsible for it crumbling continues to gnaw away at Davis’s heart.
In the email, Todd says the lawyer and the investigator think they’ve got a line on who Justin is, but they still have some work to do. The investigator believes Justin is a shakedown artist who targets people in LA as mini cash cows. He’s seen it before. They troll the fancy bars, hotels and restaurants to find a mark, then lock their jaws into the wealthy’s throats and they will not let go. Davis was acting the part of “big-time tech startup money,” and Justin went into attack mode. Jaws wide open. Fangs dug in.
Todd explained the nature of the pictures to the lawyer without going into too much detail, and the lawyer is pushing for Davis and Todd to protect themselves and the business. The lawyer’s putting together some documents that might get rid of Justin, Todd’s email says. Based on the idea Davis had, the thought is that if they show Davis has no money because of the business, then there’s nothing for Justin to come after. Maybe they can pay Justin a smaller sum of cash, negotiate a buyout of sorts, so he feels like he’s winning. If Justin believes that beyond that there’s not more money to be had, then the hope is he’ll take what he can get and slither away to someone else.
Davis lets the idea swirl around his head. For the first time in days he feels a sense of optimism. A feeling of progress. This is a plan that can work.
Davis steps out from the room, now needing a bite to eat and some much-needed coffee so he can process all the information in Todd’s email. He’s feeling human again. Basic needs coming back online. He’s been so engrossed in his own thoughts that he hasn’t noticed how quiet the house is. The door to the bedroom is open now. Davis peeks through the doorway. There’s no sign of his family.
“Hello?” he says.
Nothing.
He sees some dishes in the sink and a pot of coffee on the burner. They’ve been up and obviously made and had some breakfast, but they’re nowhere to be found.
“Hattie?” he calls out, growing more concerned. “Girls?”
The silence booms.
Davis opens the backdoor and steps outside into the yard. He hears voices. The girls are giggling, and he also hears Hattie laughing. Relief washes over him. He starts breathing again. One, he’s glad they’re there, and two, he’s glad to hear their laughter again. The cold, hard tension from last night’s dinner performance seems to have faded. At least that’s what he tells himself. This is a hopeful sign that last night is in their rearview mirror. Maybe not completely, but it’s a good sign.
As Davis turns the corner of the house, he sees his family standing on the pier that stretches out into the lake.
They are not alone. This stops him cold.
Slouched next to them is a man. Davis sucks in a hard gulp of air. It’s the cashier. Davis’s feet feel stuck in the ground. Planted. He can’t move.
It’s really him.
Only this time he’s slightly less odd. He smiles and laughs with Hattie and girls. This guy seems more confident, more together than the guy working the register that Davis talked to yesterday. This guy is more in every way.
> He’s more Justin.
Davis wants to run down the pier, lower a shoulder and slam into him. Send him flying into the water then shove his head under until his lungs fill and this whole nightmare is over. He wants to feel his man’s life end in his own hands.
The cashier cackles at a joke Hattie makes. Hattie snickers back. It’s genuine, not polite or dismissive laughter to get through a conversation. Davis knows the difference. The girls run around the pier, laughing the whole time.
Davis feels the world tilt. The cashier turns to him. There’s no question in Davis’s mind now. That man is Justin. It’s all in his eyes. The way he’s looking at Davis, there is no mistaking it now. Justin gives the slightest of waves and places a soft hand on Hattie’s back, pointing in Davis’s direction. Hattie turns.
“Hey, honey.” Her tone is mixed and guarded toward Davis, but still pleasant. “This is the guy I was talking about last night.”
Davis’s eyes zero in on Justin’s hand still resting on his wife’s back. Justin grins, slipping the hand slowly away from her, then gives Davis a finger-gun shot. Hattie moves down the pier toward her husband. Davis cuts the distance between them quickly, picking up his pace moving toward her. Davis never allows his stare to leave Justin.
Hattie is next to him now, but his children are still at the other end of the pier near the water, with Justin between him and the girls. Justin glances to them, then back to Davis, letting Davis know he can’t do anything crazy without risking what Justin might do to them.
“He’s funny. How do you know him?” Hattie says.
Davis places his hands on her shoulders. “Why don’t you get the girls and go into town? See a movie or something.”
“They’re having fun outside.”
“Please.”
“Why?”
“Goddamn it, Hattie, listen to me. Just get them out of here, okay?”
Hattie steps back, disbelief riffling through her. She looks to her husband the same way she did last night when Davis lost it, when Davis the unwanted stranger came to the family dinner. Maybe she hoped it was a one-time appearance. Now she knows it’s not. As her confusion fades, the anger begins to boil. She takes another step back.
“What the hell, Davis?”
“Hattie…” Davis keeps an eye on Justin, who rocks back on his heels without a care in the world. “I can’t talk about it right now.” He watches as Justin closes his eyes, letting the sun soak in while spreading his arms wide.
“Fine. I’ve tried. If you’re not going to talk to me, then I… I don’t know what to say.”
Davis looks into his wife’s eyes. He knows she’s slipping away from him. He has to say something or risk losing her forever. He begins to say something, doesn’t know what to say, then stops himself before a single syllable leaves his lips. She’s taken aback by the look on his face. He looks broken. Lost. Davis knows he can’t fool this woman or shield her from the truth, but in this case the truth will not help. It can only hurt.
“Hattie, you have to trust me,” Davis says, on the verge of tears. “Please get the girls and go somewhere. Anywhere. Away from the house.”
Hattie stares at his face. Studying. Searching. Trying to read what’s going on behind her husband’s sad, broken eyes.
“Talk to me, please,” Hattie says, begging for a connection with her husband. One she’s never once thought she’d have to ask for.
Davis wants to tell her. Tell her everything right now, lay it all out for her here on this pier with Justin a few feet away. He desperately wants this all over, but he knows he can’t tell her. He doesn’t know how. The lies have piled up so high. An insurmountable wall that’s bound to surround and close off his marriage, wall off a relationship with the love of his life.
“Hey, lovebirds,” Justin says, stepping in. “Hate to interrupt, but I gotta bounce soon.”
“We need to talk,” Davis says to Justin. His tone is hard. Cold.
“Sounds serious.” Justin’s eyebrows fire up and he raises his hands, faking scared.
Hattie watches the two of them. Davis stands stiff, rigid, like his spine was made of steel. Justin, the cashier as she knows him, is bouncy. Playful. Almost like a puppy. Davis looks to his wife. He knows she doesn’t understand, but he hopes she’ll trust him enough to get the girls and get the hell out of there. He needs her to trust him.
One last time.
“Girls, we need to go,” Hattie calls out, her eyes never leaving Davis. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Bye, Hattie,” Justin says.
Davis’s teeth grind.
“Bye, Jerry,” Hattie says. “Good to see you again.”
Hattie gathers up the girls. They fight it briefly, but they can tell Mom isn’t in the mood to play games. They move toward the house, away from the pier. Davis whips around to Justin, jamming his hands into Justin’s chest with a hard jolt. He and Justin both are surprised by his sudden aggressive act. Felt good to Davis. Great even.
“Easy, Brutus,” Justin says, laughing while rubbing his chest. “You should have seen your face when you walked up, man. Goddam priceless.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Just hanging out, man.”
“And this?” Davis flicks at the makeup on Justin’s nose. “This shit?”
Justin’s face shows a sign of being annoyed with Davis even trying to touch him. He slaps his hand away.
“I’m trying to have some fun. You remember fun, right?”
Davis stops cold.
“You remember what fun looks like?” Justin snaps his fingers, faking a light bulb going off in his mind. “Sure you do. You’ve seen the pictures.”
Davis feels his heart begin to race again.
“How did you know I was here?”
“That is not the question you should be asking.”
Davis moves closer, about to put hands on Justin again. Justin lands a sledgehammer of a punch to Davis’s gut. All the air escapes from his lungs. Davis folds instantly. Justin puts a comforting hand on Davis’s back, rubbing in large circles as if soothing a sick child.
“The question you need to ask is…” Justin singsongs, trying to coax an answer from Davis. “Come on now, you know. Just say it.”
Davis coughs, fighting to find some air.
“I’ll help ya out, okay? The question is now, and has always been, how does Justin get his money?”
Justin helps Davis stand up while looking around to make sure nobody saw that little sudden act of violence. He brushes off Davis’s shoulders. Pinches his cheek.
“Now…” Justin holds his hand out. “Pay me.”
“I don’t have it.”
“Pay me.”
“I can’t do that.”
“It’s pay me money, or we go to a plan B type of thing.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Davis—”
“I don’t have it,” Davis says, thinking of the emails, his conversations with Todd. “I do not have any more money. Between the business and what I already paid you, it’s all gone. Gone.”
Justin steps back, taking a moment to look Davis over. To analyze him. Assess the man. He makes a finger-gun, clucks his tongue, then fires a shot at Davis. “Bullshit.”
“I swear to God.”
“God? Well, if you swear to God that’s different.”
“It’s true. I’ve got nothing left.”
“Prove it.”
“I will.” Davis swallows hard. “But you have to tell me something.”
“Lay it on me.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Justin looks around, scrunches his nose. “Why what?”
“Why all of this. Why are you tracking me down? The texts. The calls. The pictures. Disguising yourself at the store. All of it. Why?”
Justin moves in close. His eyes drill in. He softly kisses Davis on the forehead.
“Because I’m invested in you.”
Davis’s eyes pop wide as he pulls away
from Justin.
“We’re in this together, Big Fun.” Justin smiles, then removes a folded piece of paper from his pocket. He hands it to Davis’s shaking hands.
“You go here tonight at, oh I don’t know, midnight,” Justin says with some flair. “Midnight sounds cool. Meet me there with your proof. If you’re tapped out, you’re tapped out. I can’t get money from nothing, right?”
Davis nods, opening the paper. It’s a map crudely drawn in crayon. Looks like a child’s treasure map. The place appears to be on the other side of the lake, deeper into the woods. The meeting spot is marked with a fat, green smiley face.
“What proof do you need?” Davis says.
As he looks up from the paper, he realizes he’s alone on the pier.
Justin is nowhere to be found. As if he vanished into thin air.
If it weren’t for the paper in his hands, Davis would question if Justin was even there to begin with. Davis’s fragile, broken mind is capable of just about anything right now. Imagining Justin playing with his wife and kids is not that much of stretch. Streaks of insanity have presented themselves slowly over the last few days. The fact that Justin was actually the cashier does provide Davis an odd bit of comfort, however. Maybe he’s not completely cracking up.
Maybe he is.
He looks to the map. Meeting Justin in the middle of the woods, in the middle of the night is last thing he wants to do. Every warning signal Davis has is telling him to tear up the map and run. Grab his family and run. Keep running until there’s nowhere left to run.
He knows he can’t.
He knows he has to be at this green smiley face at midnight.
He allows himself to let some hope seep back in. Amazed how quickly his mind can go from hope to catastrophe. He stares directly into the eyes of the fat, green smiley face. Not long ago he was convinced all was lost, then there was the possibility of things working out, then back to the sudden falling feeling of there being nothing he can do.
Davis realizes there is something he can do, however, and he needs to hold on to that idea. Hang on tight to the idea that he can always do something. A life void of hope is simply lost.
