by Ava Mason
25
Carrie
Cool air hit my shoulders as I walked out onto the balcony, clutching my hand to the top of my strapless dress. The past few weeks had grown into a sticky summer, so the surprisingly nippy night air was a soothing balm to the suffocating feeling in my chest. I’d been so busy, first with the aftereffects of the fight - we’d had to carry a limp and nearly dead Tallon and Denver down the mountain. Fortunately our battle on the mountain had been noticed. In the melee, we’d started a fire, and so the Queen had sent waterbreather dragons - yes, there was such a thing - as well as several soldiers up to help.
Healers were on hand and just in time to save them both.
Tallon had a magical gift that only his parents had known about - the ability to give his life to someone else.
And that’s what he’d done on that mountainside - believing me almost dead.
And when I’d found out, I’d almost died in shock again.
He gave his life - for mine? It cut me to the core.
Holding down the black witch had drained me, and her rebounding spell had struck me deep, so deep that my heart stopped, for just a moment. The sound of it screeching to a stop was as loud in my ears as the battle around me, and the relief that it had started again made me collapse to the ground, unable to move.
Denver was also badly mangled, having dropped from the sky like a fallen angel to land on the witch - killing her instantly. The healer said that his insides were so torn up from the impact of the fall, that it was only because he was such a strong dragon that he was still alive. He’d joked that he’d used his big cock to steer himself towards the witch, and that we were all lucky he had such an enormous and stalwart member to save us all.
Whether or not that was true was yet to be determined.
However, it was accepted that because he was a dragon shifter and knew how to use the air and his body mass to direct his fall, that he had, in fact, purposely landed on the witch.
After the witch was dead, and both Denver and Tallon were passed out, Blaze and I had joined together to fight off the rest of the wolves. It had helped that there were only a few of them left willing to fight, and that we had several guns at our disposal. Then Blaze quickly taught me how to do the deadman’s hold to carry Tallon down the mountain. Blaze’s shifter powers still weren’t working, even though the witch was dead.
After that, I’d sat for days in meetings with that Edward guy, at Lizzy’s insistence that he be the one to debrief me. He’d asked me several questions about the wolves, if I’d ever recognized any of them, all about the dark witch and her powers. Because of the fire, a lot of the evidence was burned up, though the soldiers had caught most of the wolves who’d tried to run off.
That fight had brought up a lot of old feelings I thought I’d gotten over when my pack had fought off a terrible Alpha, at Lizzy’s side. I’d started having flashbacks and nightmares. And a sickening feeling in my gut told me that it wasn’t over - that these dreams were tied to my premonition powers.
And now, we were at a ball put on by the Queen to commemorate our victory. She’d given each of us, my guys and me, a silver medal that hung heavy around our necks in a formal meeting a couple of days ago. And then she threw this party for us.
Sawyer had shown up at the guesthouse, dragging along a bunch of froofy dresses she said she didn’t need anymore. They were all very beautiful and made me feel sexy, and we picked out the one that made me look perfect before she insisted on doing my makeup once more.
I hadn’t really talked to the guys since that day, because we hadn’t been alone since then. I was either in meetings with Edward, or running errands with my mamá or Lizzy and the guys. We’d picked up Lizzy’s whole harem of men at the airport, which had created a whole new reshuffling of rooms at the guesthouse.
The sight of Tallon, Blaze, and Denver - each so sexy and handsome in their tuxedos - hugging the wall, set off something inside me. I wanted to talk them again, but I didn’t know how to approach them.
In the shower that day, I’d told them to leave my life when all this was over. And they were doing exactly that.
Except… now I didn’t want that. Our fight in the mountains had bound us together in a way I never imagined possible. And even though they were assholes, I needed them in my life again.
So now, I was standing on a balcony outside the grand ballroom of the castle, because even though I’d been whisked around the room by each and every one of Lizzy’s men, I was beginning to get that burning, suffocating feeling back in my chest. It had only grown until I’d taken a moment when everyone was distracted to slip out into the night air just to take a breath.
The view beyond was breathtaking, and the dark night pooled around me as stars twinkled over my head. The muted sound of the music behind me felt like a proper representation of my feelings - dark and muffled. I silently pondered, trying to decide how I felt about Tallon risking his life to save mine, Denver sacrificing his landing to save us, and the pink bracelet that was currently burning a hole in the slip of the pocket they’d put in this dress.
The music grew louder for a moment and I angled my body to see who was slipping through the doors. For the second time in just a short while, my heart stopped for a brief moment and then stuttered to life again. It thudded loudly in my chest when I saw Tallon stop just outside the closed glass doors. Light from the room shrouded his face in darkness and he stared at me with his hands in his pockets. A dark broody feeling emanated from his very being and I tilted my head to the side, my voice caught in my throat.
What do you say to the man who gave you everything he had, knowing he would die in the process?
There were no words.
“Tallon,” I finally managed to squeak out, which suddenly felt like an inadequate beginning to the deep and humble thanks that I wanted, no, needed, to offer him. I caught my breath as he suddenly stepped forward, walking with bold and sure steps. I stared in awe at this beautiful and magnificent creature as he made his way towards me. His hair had grown and it curled about his face in golden waves. His broad chest filled his suit, which tapered down to his narrow waist.
He didn’t speak at first, except to murmur my name across his full and sensual lips, and it sounded like a prayer whispered in awe.
“Come here.” I held out my hand to him and he took it. Then he pressed it to his lips in a gentle kiss, causing a burning path down my arm straight to my chest. The suffocating feeling there suddenly loosened, and in that moment, I realized that the tightness in my chest wasn’t because of my past. But because another part of me had been missing from my life.
I sucked in a deep breath, suddenly knowing that it was true. Ever since we’d separated at the battle, I’d felt this stifling, strangling feeling. A longing for something, deep in the recesses of my soul. It’d abated every so often and now I realized that it had been when he was near.
And now that he was with me again, the suffocating feeling in my chest was replaced by a completeness, the missing piece set into place, and I was whole again. He was a part of me now, something I couldn’t do without.
He had given me his essence, and now, my body longed for him when he was not there.
What was I going to do? Follow him around like a lost puppy for the rest of my life? Permanently move to Aerwyna and settle in next door to him? Watch him as he eventually found love, created a family? Slowly wither as he grew old? Break apart if he ever died an early death?
He had risked his life for mine - I couldn’t ask him to now live his life for me.
“Carrie.” He whispered my name again but this time his voice was a desperate plea. He skirted his fingers across my cheek to the nape of my neck. A lump formed in my throat, now suddenly dry. A burning sensation settled in my stomach as his other hand clasped around my waist, crushing my dress in his fingers. “What are you doing to me?” He leaned his head forward, settling it on top of mine, and my heart pounded in my chest.
Could it be pos
sible that he felt the same?
I cleared my throat, needing to know the truth. “Tallon, I… I don’t know how to thank you.”
He shook his head, moving my own in the process. “That’s not why I came out here.”
“And yet, it needs to be said.” My voice caught as I tried to explain the feelings in my heart. “But I don’t know how.”
“Then don’t.” He clasped me tighter as he wrapped his arm around my neck, pulling me into him. His fingers gripped my chin, tilting my face to look up at him. His hazel eyes were dark and troubled, like a stormy sea, and his gaze pierced deep into my soul, snaring me. I could never let him go. Not now. Not after everything he’d done for me. Not ever.
That day in the woods, the moment his lips touched mine, I’d felt and seen something inside him. His hopes and wishes and desires. His longing for something greater than what he had - something better than what he had. Not a fancy house, but a happy one. Not jewels and diamonds, but a person to treasure and love. And somehow, I felt that he was my person to treasure and love.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I think I…” I paused, my voice stuttering to a stop. I wanted to tell him how I felt about him but I couldn’t force the words out. I couldn’t bear to see the look on his face when he rejected me. He was Tallon. A member of the Elite, confident and fearless, and one of the sexiest men I’d ever met. And even though we wanted the same things, that didn’t mean he wanted it with me.
Not waiting for me to come up with something, he leaned down and brushed his lips across mine. When I didn’t pull back, he deepened the kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, inviting him in.
But he didn’t give me the soul crushing kiss that I wanted. Instead, it was sweet and gentle, his tongue only tasting mine for a moment before he pulled back.
“I need to go.” He hesitatingly said the words as he stepped out of my arms. “I have to work.”
I nodded, chewing on my lower lip, as I tried to think of what to say that would make him stay. But the words never came and so I let him go. He turned around and walked off, and out of my life.
26
Tallon
I’d lied to Carrie. I didn’t need to work. I just couldn’t stand to be there next to her, not able to talk to her or hold her the way I wanted. I couldn’t stand the sweet look on her face, my sweet little lamb, with the need burning inside me to claim her as my own. Or the rejection I was sure to feel when she told me off for trying to make her mine.
So, like the coward I was, I ran off with the excuse of work to get as far away as possible, hoping to get her out of my system. And it hadn’t worked.
The truth was, I had the next four days off, which I used to get rip roaring drunk. I didn’t even bother to go into Crosby’s, but raided Denver’s wet bar, sullying my liver with a whole bottle of whiskey over the course of the night and the next day. When that was gone, the half empty bottle of vodka left over from some party took my troubles away just fine. After the vodka was empty I drank the rest of my favorite butterscotch flavored liqueur, and two peach schnapps that my mom kept in the fridge.
Because I knew the truth. She was too good for me.
I didn’t want her to be with me because I’d almost died to save her.
I didn’t want a pity fuck.
I wanted to hold her in my arms every night, there to soothe away the aches and pains inside. I wanted to burn breakfast, making it for her in the morning, and text her obsessively throughout the working day, until she could fall into my arms again when my shift was over. I wanted to move out and into my own place even if it was a shitty place by the river. As long as it belonged to her and me, it would be perfect. I wanted to eat, drink, live, and breathe this woman, to know what it felt like to be loved unconditionally, and to love her with every fiber of my being.
And yet, I knew I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve anything at this point, and I had almost no one left. I’d staked my whole life on the Elite staying together, and it had come back to bite me in the ass.
Denver and I weren’t speaking, and Blaze was playing middleman - although he was with Denver a lot more than he was with me.
Denver still hadn’t called that reporter like he’d threatened, but I was certain he was only waiting for the right moment, when he knew it would crush us all. So I warned my dad that it might happen, which he took in stride. Just nodded and told me he’d be prepared if it came down to it. Then I waited in anticipation for the ax to fall, but in the meantime, took full advantage of the wing as long as I had it.
Hoffman money, Denver’s bloodline, was old money, and their motherfucking mansion was just down the street from the castle the Queen lived in. It was old but updated with a modern look, with luxurious but comfortable furnishings. I’d loved it from the first day I’d entered it. The walls had simple but sturdy crown molding, the floor was a shiny, dark hardwood and the doors were made from a thick wood and carved ornately.
It was built to last. Strong and steady, just like I imagined I would be one day.
My family was allowed to decorate our wing but we’d pretty much kept it as is, except added in pictures of my three sisters and my brother and me. I was the only one still living here out of my siblings but it was only because I worked so close. I also spent all my off duty time with Denver and Blaze. Plus, my favorite pastime was spending time with the horses that we’d practically raised from birth.
And now, I was laying on the king-sized bed in my room, staring up at the golden flecked ceiling, wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life. I rubbed at the knot in my chest, thinking about it. I would stay in the guard as long as they allowed me - I loved my job and I loved my country even more. I would also stay with the horses until Denver kicked me out.
But Carrie… that was the unknown. The woman I wanted to hold and never let go.
Finally, deciding that I’d spent enough time feeling sorry for myself, and that drinking my life away wasn’t going to do me any good - it hadn’t for my dad - I decided to take a shower. I had to work in two days anyways and needed to sober up. Plus, the weather was just right for a ride. So I turned the water in my shower as hot as possible and got under the head to wake me from my self-induced pity party.
After drying myself off in the shower and wrapping the towel around my waist, I padded into my room to get dressed, and froze.
Carrie sat on my bed, looking radiant in a light yellow spring dress and cowboy boots, her purse on the floor by my bed. And a motherfucking braid down the side of her sexy face. I immediately wanted to touch it but forced my hands still at my side, while my brain shorted out at the sight of her in my room. Then I rubbed at the buzz in my chest, trying to figure out what the hell she was doing here and how the hades I got so lucky to have a woman of her caliber come looking for me.
“Hi.” She waved her hand shyly. “Your mom let me in, I hope it’s okay.”
“She did?” I ran my hand through my hair, surprised my mom was around to let her in. Both my parents worked on the horses all day - being in charge of twenty snotty purebred horses was a lot of work, even with the help they had.
She nodded. “Yeah, she saw me walking around, looking lost.”
I nodded, understanding. That was easy to do in this place.
“You come here for Denver?”
She glanced away, not meeting my eye, and disappointment crushed my chest. Then she chewed on her bottom lip, something she did when she was nervous, and stared out the window.
“Actually, I came here to see you.”
It took me a moment to register her words. Everyone came to see Denver, so I just expected the same from her. But I should’ve known better - not my little lamb. She was always different.
She saw through the bullshit that we sprayed at the world, and saw us for who we were.
Which was probably going to be a problem for me. She’d know I was a fake, and would want to toss me in the well for it.
“I
s that okay?” she asked, her face so soft and sweet and a little bit uncertain and I stuttered at her question.
“Is that okay?” I repeated, hating that even after everything I’d done for her, she was still doubting my feelings for her. I wanted to rush to her side, pull her into my lap and wrap my arms around her. Tell her straight up to her face how my chest was just bursting with feelings when I saw her, and that I’d never had that kind of emotion for any other woman. I wanted to press her to my bed, slide my cock deep inside her, and never let her go. Mark her with my cum, spread it all over her pussy and claim it as mine. Tell her she wasn’t allowed to have any other dick inside her, fuck her harshly, then softly, then just exactly how she wanted it to show her what she meant to me.
Instead, I clutched my hand to my towel and let it fall to the floor, watching her caramel colored cheeks flush with color, and walked over to my dresser. Pulling out my most comfortable jeans and my softest black cotton t-shirt, I got dressed. Then I sat next to her, pulling on my socks and black leather boots.
She’d stared at me in silence the whole time, her lips clasped tightly, as if she was holding her breath. When I was dressed, I reached out and ran my fingers up her hand, looping my pinky through hers.
“Come on.”
We spent the rest of the day riding horses, first just in the corral to get her used to hers, and then I took her out on the trail that took us back through to the woods. The day was sticky and hot, and strands of her hair clung to her neck. I wanted to run my finger down her neck to brush it away, then reach down and kiss the sweat between her breasts, just to get a taste of her. But I kept my hands to myself and made sure the horses were gentle with her. I’d let her pick between the two sweetest and naturally, she was attracted to the mixed horse we kept around for training purposes. It was white with black dots on his rump and she looked so beautiful perched on top of him.
