She frowned. "No," she said hesitantly. She hated the breathy sound her voice made, as her fingers were lifted to his lips.
He shook his head. His lips brushed her knuckles again. She rewarded him with a startled gasp. "Don't lie Raina. You are horrible at it." His stare dipped to her mouth. "Would it make it easier if I called you Aelan?"
Raina gasped again at his arrogance.
"No, I suppose not. That name only turns you to mush when it comes from your precious Nolan." He stroked her fingers.
"Let’s not do this," she tugged her hand away.
Turk growled, hearing the fear in her voice.
Thanatos sighed. "Do what?"
She frowned. "The second you start to open up, you have to turn into alpha male."
"I don't open up," he growled. "I am my own person...no need for everyone to know my inside."
"Your own person?" Her eyes were wide with surprise. "Thanatos, you obey the whim of a woman. How is that being yourself?"
A growl came from him, and he dropped her hand. He got to his feet and walked away from her.
Raina watched him, saw the struggle in his stiff shoulders.
"I do not give in to her every whim." His voice was dark, and angry.
"You wouldn't dare disobey her," Raina yelled at his back. "She gets her way with just the simplest request!" It wasn't just about him anymore either. Her anger over Nolan was appearing.
He looked back over his shoulder, and gave her a chilling glare.
Raina swallowed hard, and was silenced. Turk nuzzled her arm and whined.
"I should go," she mumbled. She went to her discarded back pack, fumbling with its stays. She lifted it neatly over her shoulder, and then turned back to him. He was still watching her with those angry eyes. It disturbed her. Why would he be angry with her? He should be angry with himself. Her words were not untrue.
He swept her with the angry eyes.
Raina was unsure why her legs wouldn't work. She didn't want to leave him like that. Her goal had been to bring him some comfort. Lord knows he didn't deserve it!
"You really find me that weak?"
She was startled at the fierce malice in his voice.
"No woman owns me. I do not bend..."
"Thanatos," she sighed. "I didn't mean..."
"Yes you did," he growled. "You so easily judge me for bringing you that message. You have yet to question why Nolan so easily obeyed her too."
He gritted his teeth. He knew why Nolan obeyed. Nolan loved Raina. He would stay away to protect her. He counted on that.
She ducked her head, feeling the betrayal.
Thanatos felt a pain in his chest. He wanted to steal his words back. He wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her.
"I really should head back," she whispered. She called to Turk and started away.
"Raina," he called. He so wanted to say he was sorry, but he didn't want that to prove her words were right. He hurried after her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.
"I have never judged you," she shouted at him. She drew in a breath. "Okay, maybe at first when you gave me no other option."
He grinned at the words she spat. "When have I given you another option?" His eyes danced.
Her blue eyes shadowed. "When you brought me my ring." Tears pricked her eyes. "If you were truly evil, you would have tossed it."
His fingers gentled on the arm he grasped. "I had considered that," he admitted.
Raina frowned.
"Then I realized... I didn't like the idea of you hurting over its loss."
Her frowning lips tipped up into a smile. She felt a tear threaten to escape the corner of her eye. "See...you're not all bad." The tear spilled over.
He tipped her chin up, and wiped the tear away with the tip of his finger. He could not explain how that act affected him. The tear fell because of him. And not because she was feared him or that she was missing Nolan.
He smiled at her, liking that she returned it. "Careful…saying that out loud. I have a reputation to uphold!"
Raina shook her head and laughed, pulling out of his grasp. "I'm sure you will do something to make me want to take that statement back! Rest assured your reputation is safe Thanatos Clay!" She smiled to soften the words. "I'll see you later," she threw over her shoulder, as she pulled away.
He followed her, as she started back toward home.
Raina knew he was there, but didn't fear him. She actually felt comforted by him. Her mind rejected that idea. No, not comforted, just not completely terrified. He was in a good place right now. How well she knew he could turn at any moment.
"Are you stalking me?"
His chuckle was deep and pleasing to the ears. "Maybe a little."
Raina sighed heavy enough so he would hear her.
Another chuckle.
Turk was not happy with the traveling partner. He stayed close to her legs, glaring back at Thanatos now and then.
They traveled in silence; only the sound of the forest touched their ears. She wondered why he stayed with her...following, not too close, but close enough. Was she his job today? Why hadn't he gone to look after Nolan? Surely that was who Elenora was most concerned about. It was then that it hit her...he really wasn't around...Nolan. Thanatos had nothing else to fill his time with.
Raina bit the inside of her cheek, then, without turning to look at him asked what was tearing at her. "You said Nolan wasn't around." She pulled in a breath. "Where is he?"
Thanatos didn't answer for a moment. "He went on a trip."
He hadn't even told her he was leaving. She felt a chill up her arms. "Business trip?"
"No," he sighed.
"Who did he go see?"
Thanatos cleared his throat. "You really don't want to know."
Raina knew then the answer. He was with the She-devil. "Was he summoned?" She turned around now, to meet him face to face. "Another meeting?"
He continued walking, until he was toe to toe with her. "He went to talk to her, yes," he said softly.
She looked down at her feet. "I don't deserve to know why."
He frowned at the top of her head. "Yes you do," he said softly. "But it will have to be him answering the question. I have no idea why he would choose to go to her, over coming to you!"
Raina steeled herself. "Sure you don't." Her blue eyes snapped to his.
He looked hurt by her accusation. "I really don't know."
Raina rolled her eyes, and turned toward home. She knew he followed because of the occasional twig snap behind her. She didn't give him the gift of her attention, choosing to act as though he wasn't there.
Turk, who was now more comfortable with Thanatos near, believing he meant no harm, wandered ahead. He nosed and dug, and ran after tumbling leaves. Raina chose to use him as a distraction.
She was not distracted long, before her mind turned to Nolan again. He was with her...that evil woman! And he had gone without one word. No comfort, no I'm sorry this happened. No explanation as to why. It hurt more than anything she thought possible. She allowed the tears, hoping Thanatos wouldn't hear her soft sobbing.
He heard, and he hated it. The hurt she felt pained him, but also gave him the upper hand over Nolan.
He followed her with his eyes. She had a long pretty neck, uncovered now...as her hair was pulled up on top of her head. She had a lovely sway to her walk, which was made all the more pleasant by the nicely rounded hips. She was lovely...inside and out. He had never met someone who appealed to more than his body. His eyes noted the shake in her shoulders, and a growl had to be forced down. She was crying over Nolan, and that tore him more than anything else.
"He’s not worth your tears," he spat.
Raina forced her shoulders to still. She didn't look back or acknowledge his words.
"Why are you so hung up on him?
Raina shook her head.
He quickened his steps, until he was only two feet behind. "I get it...his sweetness overwhelmed you," he growled sarca
stically. "Well so much for your sweetheart now!"
Raina spun at him, her face raw with tears and anger. "You wouldn't understand! You don't care about anyone else but you! I think you are after me now because you think it would be a win against Nolan," she tripped over his name. "You wouldn't understand what we've shared...and why I'm sad! He is worth my tears." More made an appearance at those words.
"You think my motives toward you are not pure?"
Her brows lifted. "Seriously? You are going to play innocent? Thanatos from the very beginning you have made known what your intentions toward me are! And I wouldn't use the word pure when referring to them!" She shook her head.
He frowned at her. "You don't know me."
"Oh, I know you! You can spout all these words you green eyed devil, but actions speak louder!"
He felt the slap of her words and at the moment was at a loss for his own. He almost sputtered in anger.
Raina felt fear then, and started away, not paying attention to her steps.
Thanatos had every intention of letting her go on alone, but her scream changed his mind for him. It stirred something in him...a need to protect. He had never felt it this strongly.
She was shrieking, ready to crumple to the ground. His arms were about her, her head into his chest, her fingers grasping the front of his shirt. His heart was pounding in his ears, as he glanced around for the danger.
Turk was racing back.
Thanatos was comforted when he saw there was no near and present danger. He squeezed her gently when her sobbing continued. "Raina, what is it?" He moved back a bit to look down into her face. "Why did you scream?"
Raina looked miserable, as she turned her eyes up to his. She shook her head. "I'm so stupid." She then began giggling hysterically.
Thanatos shook her hard enough to rattle her teeth. "Why did you scream?" he growled.
Raina pushed closer to his chest, which he liked, and fearfully peaked over her shoulder. "There was a snake...right...over ...there!"
Thanatos scowled. "A what?"
"A snake," she lamented. She gripped his shirt a little tighter at the word.
He shook his head, and then began to laugh. He brushed a strand of hair, newly escaped behind her ear. "A snake?"
"I hate snakes." She trembled.
"Out of the path of one snake, only to run into another," he teased.
Raina blushed, and pushed away from him. "Ha-ha," she growled.
He pulled her back close, forcing her chin up. "I would protect you," he said softly. "If you would only trust me."
Raina swallowed hard, feeling her pulse pick up. He was too close for comfort. His scent, his touch, his voice, nothing like Nolan’s, but it stirred her still. She pushed away again. "I might trust you if you proved you were trust worthy. Trust is earned," she whispered.
He nodded. "Maybe I'll earn it yet."
Raina frowned. "You have your work cut out for you."
He frowned back. "You doubt me?"
She drew in a breath. "You even doubt yourself, Thanatos."
His eyes darkened. "You should call me something else. Death from your lips does not sound right."
She was shocked at his words.
"But that is my name," he sighed.
"You should try changing it," she couldn't help her little snipped comment.
He looked at her in surprise. "It’s the name I was given!"
Raina gave him a sad smile. "It was given in a moment of weakness. Your dad lost his wife..."
He sneered. "Raina, if that were true, he would have changed it for me. My father never let me forget why he gave me that name. Not one day in his presence did he fail to tell me. He hated me. I was the reason he lost his wife..." He shook his head. "My mother wanted me, he did not! I was death to him. Every time he had to look at me it’s all he saw."
Raina felt a tug at her heart. "No wonder you question your worth," she whispered. She reached out to touch his arm, but he stepped back.
The green eyes blazed. He did not like the meaning in her words. "Don't cry over me little Raina," he growled. "I don't need your pity!" He pushed past her. His feet took him surely and swiftly from her.
Raina frowned deeply. "Well you have it! My pity! You're a miserable sad little man, Thanatos Clay," she shouted after him.
His growl was the only answer.
She set her hands on her hips and glared after him. So much for kindness kills. Thanatos wouldn't know real love or kindness if it bit him in the ass!
Chapter 10 The Awkwardness
Raina was happy when Monday made its appearance, and she knew she would be going to coffee with friends. She took care in her appearance, wearing a new pair of capris, and a flirty shirt Emily had insisted she needed. She curled her long hair...straying away from throwing it into a pony tail as she usually did. She worked on it until it fell in lovely curly waves down her back.
Emily smiled approval, when she arrived at the Bitter Sweet.
They jumped in the car and meet Donna at a little coffee shop down town.
It felt good sipping lattes, and chatting. There was so much catching up to do in Donnas respect. She showered them with questions...especially Raina. She and Emily had kept slightly better touch.
Donna spilled out her story...she was married now. Raina remembered the invite, but hadn't gone. It had only been months after David's death. She never would have made it through the ceremony. She still felt guilty over it.
Donna’s Charlie was in the military, and currently overseas. Raina had only met him once, when they were first dating. She regretted that now…from what her friend was telling her, she had missed out by being so distant. Charlie was pretty amazing.
Donna lamented over the lonely days and nights without him.
Emily empathized, telling her how little she saw Bradley sometimes because of work, but she was thankful to have him in her bed every night. Her eyes twinkled at this.
Raina rolled her eyes. "Rub it in Em," she growled. "Not all of us get a man in our bed every night."
Donna laughed at this and high fived Raina. She then lifted her brows to Raina. "Well Miss single," she teased. "What about that tall drink of water from the party? The one you were texting...and calling?"
Raina blushed. "It’s complicated with Nolan."
"He's gorgeous," Emily sighed. "And he's confused. Supposedly there is another female sniffing around."
Donna frowned. "Someone more adorable then Raina?" she didn't look convinced.
"Tell us about her," Emily pushed...causing Raina to frown. "The other woman… Elenora...what’s she like?"
Raina grimaced. "I only saw her...and Nolan told me a little bit about her. She’s drop dead gorgeous...just think of a female Nolan...with a Thanatos attitude."
Emily made a face.
"Who's Thanatos?" Donna looked confused.
"Another boy crushing on Rain," Emily informed her. "He's hot too...lucky girl! But he has the most loathsome attitude. He is arrogant and rude, and..."
"Em, be kind. He's had issues." Raina couldn't stop the words before they spilled out. She was defending Thanatos? “I mean yeh...he's a scoundrel, but for good reason. He hasn't had an easy life."
Emily's mouth fell open.
"Wait! The yummy blonde with the green eyes? He's chasing after you too??" Donna’s face flushed with pleasure.
Raina smiled...it was involuntary...but the words gave her pleasure. With all the rejection she'd been facing lately, it felt good to hear such a thing out loud.
She gave a shrug. "It’s complicated."
"Rain doesn't want him anyway. Nolan...he's the catch. But I'm a little ticked at him right now for ignoring you," she hissed. "Has he tried to call?"
Raina shook her head and studied her coffee. She really didn't want to go there.
Donna frowned. "Well, then he’s not so perfect, is he? He must have ugly feet!"
Raina laughed at this, her eyes lit. "What?"
Donna grinned. "You
know...like a body builder. Arms tight, firm...because of the roids of course. Up top he looks marvelous...down below, not so much if you know what I mean!"
The women fell into fits of giggles over this.
Raina shook her head, and bit her lip, after the giggles settled. "His feet are perfect," she sighed. "And his calves....."
Emily’s eyes widened. "And when did you have a chance to see his calves and feet? I thought it was just a kiss!!!” Her dark eyes were round and relentless. ”Spill it now…from boxers or briefs to his morning bed head!" She leaned forward.
Raina went scarlet. "NO! Oh, no it was just a kiss, Emily McRay!"
Emily groaned. "So nothing more than a kiss?"
"It was a fantastic kiss though," Raina sighed. "It was...."
"Arousing?" Emily chimed in.
Raina slapped her friends arm. "Well duh, you silly woman." She shook her head, unwilling to go on with that story. "As for his calves and feet, I was blessed to see them when we went to the Park Forest that day...we went wading in the river."
Donna cooed happily. "Now that’s romantic."
Raina blushed. The memory was surprisingly painful. “Now, can we please change the subject? I really don't want to talk about Nolan today...not with things as they are. It’s not as fun for me as it is for you!"
"Just living vicariously," Emily teased, but they did change the subject quickly.
Two hours turned into four, and they giggled and shared. It was a shock to all to find it was already lunch! Donna fumbled with her purse, late for a Dr. appointment. She tossed her money on the table, hugged and kissed them both, and scurried off.
"What do you want to do now?" Raina downed the remainder of her coffee.
Emily smiled "You hungry?"
"You fattening me up?"
"Not at all," Emily laughed.
"Then, I could eat."
Emily bit her lip. "Don't hate me...but I sort of promised Bradley I'd grab him lunch, since I'd be in town. He's been texting me for the last hour starving! So we may...well, we will have to stop at McRay Inc."
Raina shrugged. "I'll stay in the car."
Emily again worried her lip. "He got tired of waiting. So he phoned an order in here, to the Bitter Sweet. They make great sandwiches and coffees."
The Awakening (Wake Up #1) Page 18
