by K. Bromberg
I can’t answer her because I know the truth, so I avert my gaze and focus way too intensely on the muffin in my hand. I take a bite, pushing the ghosts back in their closet and finally look up to see her eyes fixed on where I just licked a crumb from my lip.
My thoughts vanish instantly as my dick stands up and takes notice of her physical reaction. She lifts her eyes to mine and we stare at each other for a moment, the buzz of the coffee shop allowing a comfortable silence between us despite the unspoken desire in both of our eyes.
“Ace.” The barista calls my name and unknowingly breaks our connection. I stand to get my coffee and smile at Rylee, letting her know this visual conversation is far from over. And hopefully my vision will get the sight of her naked and beneath me sooner rather than later.
The thought occupies my mind as I doctor my coffee and the need to have her again only intensifies as I sit back down in front of her. I take a sip, the drink scalding my tongue. “Now I can think clearly.”
And sitting here with her in front of me and the boys’ status redeemed at school causes all kinds of clarity. Like how I sure as fuck want to let her in a bit, see where this takes us.
I’m not sure how to do it or where to go from here.
I’ve got a whole cup of coffee to figure it out, though, and time’s a wasting.
DAMN IT! I KNEW I shouldn’t have said anything to Aiden. I shouldn’t have told him that I had something to fix what had happened yesterday. I shouldn’t have depended on someone like Colton to come through when I am so used to relying on myself. He hasn’t even answered my texts or calls this morning.
I glance at the clock and another minute has ticked by. It’s seven fifty-two and I need to get the boys into action in order to get them to school on time. Mike’s already left to take Shane and Connor to high school. Bailey has already come and left to take Zander to his therapist’s appointment and Kyle to the eye doctor before dropping him back off at school. I’m left with the remaining three elementary school kids, and I know that getting them in the car should have started ten minutes ago.
I glance at the clock again and it’s seven fifty-three now. Shit! “Rylee, are you going to tell me what it is yet?” Aiden begs again with hope in his eyes.
“Not yet, Aiden. It’s a surprise.” Now I have to scramble to think of something to do to make up for an empty promise.
I could strangle Colton right now. What did I expect from a careless playboy? I guess if there isn’t a promise of getting laid at the end of the deal then he’s not going to follow through. I pound a fist on the table, the silverware on it rattling, knowing I’m overreacting after how much he did for the boys. But at the same time, he’s letting down one of my boys and he’s letting me down too.
I start stuffing lunches into the backpacks that Aiden is handing me, concentration etched on his face as he tries to figure out what I can possibly have to help him. “C’mon, guys. It’s time to go!” I shout. Aiden, my little helper, leaves the kitchen to go see what they are up to.
When after a few minutes I don’t hear the usual scurry of feet, I sigh in frustration and head out toward the hallway. “Ricky, Scooter … C’mon, guys, its time to go!” I turn the corner to the hallway and do a double take when I see Colton standing in the foyer with the door open behind him. The sun is at his back, casting his body and dark features in a halo. Three little boys stand in front of him, their backs to me, but I can see all of their heads angled up to look at him. He steps further into the room smiling briefly at me, before turning his attention to Aiden.
“So, Aiden,” Colton says, and I can see his subtle appraisal of the bruises on Aiden’s sweet little face, “are you ready for school today?”
“What?” he asks bemused before looking back at me, a mix of anticipation and realization on his face. I look back at Colton, wondering what he’s brought to help the situation.
Colton cocks his head to the side, realizing that no one gets what he’s doing here. “I’m taking you guys to school,” he says as silence fills the house before the boys start whooping and jumping around like loons. Their excitement is contagious and I feel my smile widen to match Colton’s. He steps forward and kneels down in front of Aiden. “Hey, buddy, what do you say we go show those bullies that they’re wrong and they can take a hike?” Aiden’s eyes widen, moisture pooling at the corners, as he nods excitedly. “Go get your backpacks then,” Colton instructs them as he stands back up.
My eyes follow him, and it is in this moment—with his dark features haloed by the bright light of the sun, when he’s come to stand up for children that no one else cares to stand up for anymore—that I know I’ve fallen for Colton. That he has penetrated my heart’s protective exterior and made me love him. I lift my hand and press the heel of it against my breastbone, trying to rub at the sudden ache there. Trying to will his self-professed, ending-filled devastation and hurt away. Trying to tell myself that I cannot let this come to fruition.
Colton looks questioningly at me. “Rylee?”
I shake my head. “Sorry.” I shake my head again and smile at him as the three boys come barreling back down the hallway toward the front door.
“I guess they’re ready.” He laughs as he ushers the boys out of the house.
Colton purposefully revs the engine of the Aston Martin as I direct him into the school parking lot. I’m sitting in the front and the three boys are squeezed tightly together in the backseat, grins on their faces and bodies bristling with excitement. I glance over at Colton and he has a half-smile on his lips as if he is remembering a grade-school memory of his own. I’m about to tell him he can take the shortcut to the drop-off section in front of the school but I bite my tongue. I realize that he is taking a long, slow cruise through the parking lot, gunning the sexy purr of the motor every chance he gets, so that he draws the attention of everyone around us.
We finally make it to the drop-off line where Colton swerves around the long line of cars and carefully cruises down a narrow passage between the line and the sidewalk, despite the dirty looks shot at him. I know he’d love to floor the gas pedal and make a grand entrance, but he refrains. He pulls up right in front of the school’s entrance, angling the car so that the passenger door faces the large crowd of students out front. He revs the engine a couple more times, its sound purring in the peacefully quiet morning air, before sliding out of the driver’s seat.
He unfolds his long limbs gracefully and stands a moment by the opened car door. I can see him raising his arms over his head, stretching with a loud groan, making sure that all available eyes are on us. I glance around and notice the moms near us staring openly. I laugh as I watch them try to fix their bed-ridden hair.
Colton shuts the door and struts slowly around the front of the car toward my side. He opens the door for me and I exit, catching the amusement in his eyes and the gratified smirk on his lips. He squats down and flips the seat forward so the boys can exit one at a time.
The looks on their faces are priceless as they take in the crowd. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Principal Baldwin approach from the far side and his stern face startles at seeing a car parked improperly in his strictly rule enforced parking zone. I can hear whispers of Colton’s name and my smile widens. Colton shuts the door and places himself with Aiden on one side and Ricky and Scooter on the other. He leans over and I hear him say to Aiden, “Do you see the bullies, buddy?” Aiden looks around the sea of faces, and I see him stiffen when he sees the boys. I follow his line of sight, as does Colton, to see the stunned expressions of Ashton and Grant. “Well, champ, it’s time to go prove a point.”
We move as a unit toward the two boys, their eyes widening with each step. I’m curious what Colton plans on doing once we reach them. I glance over to see his face relaxed in a huge, approachable grin as we come to a stop in front of Ashton and Grant. In the periphery of my vision, I notice Principal Baldwin scurrying over to us to stop any confrontation before it starts.
“Hey, guys!”
Colton says enthusiastically, and I get the feeling he is going the kill-them-with-kindness route. Both boys just stand there gawking at Colton. He turns to Aiden. “Hey, Aid, are these the boys that didn’t believe you’re my buddy?”
I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the reverence on Aiden’s face as he looks up toward Colton. His eyes are alive with disbelief, and I can see the pride brimming in them. “Yeah …” Aiden’s voice comes out in a croak. The crowd around us has grown.
“Oh, man,” Colton says to Aston and Grant, “you should’ve seen Aiden on Sunday. I let him bring six of his friends, including Ricky and Scooter here, with him to the track to test out the car...” he shakes his head “...and boy, were they the biggest help to me! We had so much fun!”
I see Ricky and Scooter bristle with pride now as well, and I wonder if Colton has any idea what he is doing, not only to their self-esteem but also to their status here at school. “Too bad you guys aren’t friends of his,” Colton said, shaking his head, “or maybe you could’ve gone too!”
The school bell buzzes. Principal Baldwin reaches us, slightly out of breath, and tries to disperse the crowd by ushering everyone to the doors. He looks down at the boys who are still staring at Colton before giving them a stern look and clearing his throat, making them snap out of it. Colton flashes his megawatt, no-holds-barred smile and winks at them. “Bye, boys! Make sure you say ‘hi’ to my man Aiden here when you see him in class!” They just nod their heads at Principal Baldwin, forcing themselves to take their eyes off of Colton, or they’ll walk into a wall.
With their children safely inside, the mothers remain outside for no apparent reason—trying to look busy by retying their shoes or foraging in their oversize purses for something that they will never see because their eyes are locked on Colton.
“Boys, you too,” Principal Baldwin tells my three.
Colton looks over at me questioningly and I nod subtly, letting him know this is the dipshit I told him about who favors everyone who fights Aiden. Colton flashes the same megawatt smile at him and says, “One moment please, sir. I just need to say bye to my boys.” I didn’t think it was possible for the grins to get wider on the boys’ faces, but they do. Colton turns to talk to the boys and then turns back, in second thought, to address Principal Baldwin again. “Next time, sir, it’d be best to remember that Aiden is telling the truth. It’s the bullies that need to be sent home, not good kids like Aiden here. He may not be perfect, but just because he doesn’t come from a traditional home, doesn’t mean that he’s at fault.” He holds his gaze and then turns his back on the wide-eyed principal, effectively dismissing him. The flustered look on Principal Baldwin’s face is priceless.
Colton kneels down, bringing Ricky, Aiden, and Scooter around in front of him. He raises his eyebrows and grins at them. “I don’t think they’ll be bugging you anymore, Aiden.” He reaches out and ruffles his hair. “In fact, I don’t think anyone will be bugging any of you any more. If so, you let me know, okay?”
All three nod eagerly as Colton rises. “Time to get to class,” I tell them, gratitude evident in my voice. They usually grumble at these words, but today they all obey and seem actually eager to enter the building.
Colton and I stand side by side as the boys walk through the door that Principal Baldwin is holding open for them. Nosy bystanders scurry by, pretending they are not watching. Aiden stops in the doorway and turns around, awe still on his face and says, “Thanks, Colton,” before disappearing inside the building.
When we turn back to the car, I catch a look of accomplishment and pride on Colton’s face. I have a feeling mine looks the same way.
“Why did you agree to come here if you don’t like coffee?”
Against my better judgment, I’ve agreed to go get some coffee with Colton after leaving the school. I’m still floored by Colton’s actions, and feel I at least owe him my time in return for what he’s just done. I can still see the look on Aiden’s face in my head. I don’t think I will ever forget it.
“I may not like the coffee part, but Starbucks has some damn good food that is oh-so-bad for you.” I laugh as he shakes his head at me. Kind of like you, Colton.
We place our order amid glances from the other patrons who recognize Colton. He’s sans baseball hat and not incognito. We shuffle over to a corner that luckily has an empty table with two deep, comfortable-looking chairs on either side of it. We sit down and Colton pulls our muffins out of the bag and sets mine before me.
“You know that after what you did today, you’ve most likely reached idol status with the boys now.”
He rolls his eyes at me and picks a piece of his muffin off and places it in his mouth. I watch it clear his lips and see his tongue dart out to lick a crumb. A flash of desire sears through me. I see the corner of his mouth twist up, and I force myself to look up to his eyes, which have noticed where my attention is focused. We stare at each other, unspoken words igniting the heat between us.
The barista at the counter calls out, “Ace,” and Colton smirks at me before rising from the table to get the drinks. I watch him walk, his long, lean legs covered in denim with a forest green Henley shirt covering his broad shoulders and narrow waist, the long sleeves pushed halfway up his strong forearms. I watch the barista blush as she hands him our drinks and continues to stare as he turns to prepare his coffee.
I stare at him, confusion running through my head. We are so comfortable together. So drawn together. And yet we can’t give each other what the other needs. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I know I won’t be satisfied with just bits and pieces of him. Scraps he’ll throw my way when he deigns to. But that notion confuses me even more since I’ve yet to see him act that way with me thus far. He tells me one thing about how his arrangements operate, but then acts another way with me.
Is he worth it? Colton sinks down into the chair across from me, a soft smile on his lips as he meets my eyes. Yes. He definitely is. But what do I want to do about that? He sighs after swallowing his first sip. “Now I can think clearly.” At least someone can, because it sure isn’t me.
“It seems to me like you were doing okay before your coffee,” I kid as I swallow a bite of muffin. He smirks. “I have to tell you again, Colton, thank you so much for showing up and doing that. It was … you were … what you did for Aiden was above and beyond, and I really appreciate it.”
“It wasn’t anything, Rylee.” He can see that I’m about to argue with him. “But you’re welcome.”
I nod my head and smile shyly at him, glad he has accepted my gratitude. “The looks on those brats’ faces were priceless when you walked up!”
He laughs out loud. “No, I think the principal’s face was even better,” he counters, shaking his head at the memory. “Maybe next time he’ll think twice before taking sides.”
“Hopefully,” I murmur, taking a tentative sip of my hot chocolate and trying not to burn my tongue. You burned me. Colton’s words pick this moment to flash through my head. I push them to the back of my mind as I take a sip of my drink. The damn man clutters my mind, overwhelms my senses, and clouds my heart in one fell swoop.
We sit in an easy silence, watching store patrons and sipping our drinks. I put my hot chocolate down and absently fold the corners of my napkin, deciding if I should say the next comment that pops in my head or let it go. Typical me has to get it out. “Colton?” His eyebrows quirk up at the gravity of my tone. “You’re so good with the boys, I mean way better than most people, and yet you tell me you’ll never have any. I don’t understand why.”
“Having a child and being good with one are two completely different things.” The muscle in his jaw tics as his eyes watch something outside in the parking lot.
“Colton, what you did today,” I tell him, reaching out to put my hand on top of his. My touch draws his eyes back to mine. “You showed a little boy that he was worth something. That he was worthy enough to stand up for.” Emotion fills my voice. My eyes try and tell him that I u
nderstand. That he did what should have been done for him as a child. Even though I don’t know his circumstances, I know enough in my line of work to see that no one stood up for him or made him feel like he mattered, until he met his Andy Westin.
“Don’t you do that every day, Rylee? Stand up for them?”
I mull over his words as I finish chewing my bite. “I suppose so, but not with your dramatic flair.” I smile. “I guess I’m more behind the scenes. Not nearly as public and self-confidence boosting as you are.”
“What can I say?” He picks at the cardboard guard on his coffee cup. “I know what it’s like to be in Aiden’s shoes. To be the odd kid out who doesn’t fit in due to circumstances beyond your control. To be bullied and made fun of just because.” He squeezes my hand. “You get the picture.”
Sympathy engulfs me as I think of a raven-haired little boy with haunted green eyes. Of the pain he experienced and the memories that will forever be etched in his mind. Of the things he missed out on like comforting lips expressing unconditional love, warm arms to cuddle him tight, and fingers to tickle him into fits of deep belly giggles.
“Don’t look at me like that, Rylee,” he warns, pulling his hand away from mine and leaning back in his chair. “I don’t want your pity or sympathy.”
“I’m just trying to understand you better, Colton.” My words the only apology that I’ll give him.
“Delving into my dark and dirty past isn’t going to help you understand me any better. That shit...” he waves a hand through the air “...it’s not something I want to haunt you with.”
“Colton—”
“I told you before, Rylee...” his stern voice silencing me “...I’m not one of your kids. My shit can’t be fixed. I’ve been broken for way too long for that miracle to happen.” The look in his eyes—a mix of anger, shame, and exasperation—tells me that this conversation is now over.
An uncomfortable silence hangs between us and I can’t help but wonder what happened to him as a child. What is he so afraid to confront? Why does he think that he’s so broken?
