“He was getting better. I don’t understand how something like this happens. They were pumping him with the strongest antibiotics and they said he was getting better!” My ma cries beside me, shoulders shaking. I rub her back, but it’s useless. It won’t help her and I doubt anything will right now.
Shiloh and Jada are in her kitchen making some food. They’re going to put it straight in the fridge, so she has something to eat over the next few days while we prepare his funeral and the rest of his arrangements. Shiloh even said she’d lend a helpin’ hand wherever she could, from cleanin’ to doin’ her laundry to whatever else she needs. I know my ma is appreciative of it, but she’s so caught in her feelings right now. Jada works full-time, but she was able to talk her boss into letting her take two weeks of vacation and opened up a discussion about working remotely for a while. It’ll make things easier, especially since Breaker’s been questionin’ Zane on when I’m goin’ down to Los Angeles. Zane was able to buy me two more weeks up here in Billings, but I need to head down and the sooner, the better. As horrible as the timing is, at least I can be here for my ma when she needs me the most.
“I . . . I think I need to go lay down,” my ma mutters as she rises and walks off toward her bedroom. I start to say something, but Jada comes over and motions with her hand for me to stop, so I don’t say a thing.
“She hasn’t taken a moment to rest since this morning. Let her go lay down. Whether she’s going to cry or sleep, just let her have a few minutes alone.”
I nod, understanding what she’s getting at.
My phone buzzes and I take it out to see a new message in the group chat for the club.
From: Zane
Church in 15.
We haven’t had church in a few days now and given everythin’ we’ve discovered about the General and the Commander, it’s about damn time we meet up and see what’s goin’ on.
I stand up from the couch and look right at Jada. “Sorry to do this, but I need to go for a bit. I’ll be back as soon as I can, though, okay?”
Jada doesn’t understand much about the club life, but she’s tryin’ her best. I overheard her talkin’ down about the club lifestyle and the life I live earlier. Shiloh not only came to my defense, but the Reapers Rejects’ as well.
“Okay, it’s probably good you take a break from things here anyway,” Jada tells me, heading back into the kitchen. Shiloh passes her and I notice the way her eyes fixate on my sister. She comes right up to me and takes my hand.
“Everything okay?”
I give her a nod, but I don’t know if everything’s alright. “We need to head back to the club for a bit. Zane’s callin’ church, but we’ll come back after.”
“I can stay here. Jada . . . I don’t want to leave her alone. I think she’s putting on a brave front, Hammer, but something doesn’t sit right with me.”
“Okay, you’re gonna be good staying here?”
“I will. Don’t be surprised if I text you with some things to get from the store, though. I don’t want your momma to be worrying about anything.” This right here is how I know I’ve ended up with a magnificent woman. All she cares about is makin’ sure the people around her are taken care of, and it only adds to the list of reasons I’ll cherish her until the end of my days, the same way my dad did to my ma.
I give Shiloh a sweet kiss on the lips and go grab my keys from the hook. Without lookin’ back, I walk out the door and head over to my bike, hoping whatever we need to talk about doesn’t take up too much time. The sooner I’m back here, the better I’ll feel.
Chapter Twenty
Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory
~ Dr. Suess
Shiloh
“Fuck, you did it, boy!” Blackjack cheers as Dex comes in through the clubhouse doors, cap and gown in tow.
Ashley smiles like any doting mother would. If you were a stranger, you’d never know she’s not his biological mom. Sure, she’s a bit on the younger side, but with the pride she has in this kid, anyone would think she birthed him.
Every single person in the clubhouse is smiling widely, so happy for Dex. He’s the eldest of all the kids to graduate from high school, and soon enough, Sydney will be right behind him. Then I think it’s Jordyn and Nova . . . and then a large line up of Reapers Rejects kids.
“C’mon over here and have a drink with me, I think you’ve earned it,” Axel hollers from the bar, getting a nasty look from Ashley. “Oh c’mon, Ash. It’s not like he won’t be drinkin’ underage at that fancy-ass school he got accepted into.”
He has a good point, but no way am I going to get in the middle of this. I simply walk up to Dex and bring him in for a hug. It’s been a whirlwind watching this geeky little boy grow up into a young man—a respectable young man at that. “I know you won’t be leaving for a few months, but Hammer and I leave tomorrow, so I want to say this to you now. You, Dexter, are an incredible, smart, witty boy. A boy who’s going to be a man very soon and I can speak for everyone here when I say we’re so proud of the man you’re becoming. Even though I’m moving to Los Angeles with Hammer, I want you to know I’m still your Auntie Shi and I’m only a phone call away if you need me. Any time of day or night. Okay?”
Dex smiles and nods his head once. “I’m sad to see you go, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.” Dex looks past me to where Hammer is sitting by Bama on the couch.
“I haven’t been this happy before,” I admit.
“I’m glad Hammer’s bein’ so good to you. I . . . for a long time, I watched you put people at the club above your own needs, and I’m glad you found someone who puts you first. You deserve it.” Dex’s words hit me like a ton of bricks right in the heart and tears well in my eyes.
“Oh shit, I didn’t mean to make you emotional.”
I wave my hand brushing him off. “It’s okay. You’re just as sweet as your daddy, that’s all.”
Dex’s smile grows and he nods. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”
“And I won’t be the last, so get used to it. But congrats, honey, we’re all so fucking proud of you.” I brush my fingertips against the side of his face, savoring this moment. There were so many times when Blackjack was a single dad that I watched Dex for him, and here the kid is, all grown up.
Dex gives me a kiss on the cheek as he gets pulled away by Rosa and Bambi, so I head over to the bar where Hammer sits and slide onto his lap. Axel turns to look over his shoulder. “Shit, I’d better go get Rosa. She’s already a few drinks in tonight.”
Hammer chuckles as he heads over to get his woman and I look down at my ol’ man, who must have a lot on his mind from the way he’s furrowing his brows. “Whatcha thinking?”
He lifts his chin and stares up into my eyes, “More like what I’m not. There’s so much goin’ on here, Shi. Feels weird leavin’ everyone behind when the club is so damn busy.” He isn’t wrong, there’s loads going on, but they’re going to be fine. Whether it’s club drama or the fact Zane had Kelsey send a job offer out to Tara, our prisoner’s kid. I’m still blown away by that mess, but it’s not my job to do anything but stay quiet. Club business isn’t any of my concern, and I only heard about it through the rumor mill. Apparently, the girl’s supposed to be moving within the next week and Zane’s having a couple of the prospects file out and make sure she gets here alright. With the Corrupt Kings MC wanting the girl and her dad dead, I can’t blame them, but it makes me wonder if Gears is going to rat on his club . . . why else would Zane be doing this much to protect a girl he probably doesn’t give a rat’s ass about?
I put my hand on his cheek, “You’re not leaving anyone behind. You’re going somewhere they need you to be. Zane put a lot of trust in you, sweetie. He wouldn’t send anyone to be a regent, and you’re going. So, please, don’t think like this. You’re not leaving them behind. You’re going to handle shit where they need you to.”
“I know what you’re sayin’
is right, but we know the General was only a soldier at this point. We have an entirely new enemy here and it doesn’t feel right leavin’.”
“It’ll never feel right leaving, though, will it?”
He doesn’t answer me, but Hammer knows me well enough to know I’m calling him out.
“There will always be stuff going on with the club. Whether you leave now or six weeks from now, I promise you something will be happening.”
Hammer sucks in a deep breath and shakes his head in defeat, “Have I mentioned I hate it when you’re right?”
“No, but I don’t blame you for it.” I snicker and leave a sweet kiss on his lips.
The look he gives me as I pull away is everything. One glance, it’s all I need to realize how much this man truly cares about me. I’m all about timing being everything, and while sometimes I wish we started things earlier, moments like these make me realize life worked out exactly the way it was supposed to. I would’ve waited a lifetime for the love he gives me, but I’m damn glad I didn’t have to.
“Razor’s supposed to be headin’ out to Mexico soon. Did you hear?” Hammer asks me, but I haven’t heard a thing. Then again, I’ve been so focused on making sure his mom’s okay. She’s as alright as she’s going to be, but Jada’s doing a great job at keeping her on track. Sometimes I think it’s so crazy I integrated this quickly into his family dynamic, but his mom and sister are amazing, and then there’s his daughter Oakleigh. She isn’t around too much, but she’s trying to be. It turns out finding her father this late in life is as scary for her as it is for him. They usually hang out or go to lunch twice a week, but with the two of us moving to Los Angeles, it’s going to change their relationship. Truth be told, I’m a bit nervous for him to leave, especially when they’ve just started developing their father-daughter bond.
“Good for him,” Oakleigh says, coming right up to the bar beside her father and me.
Stiletto’s behind it, fixing drinks for everyone, so Oakleigh leans over and asks, “Mind if I get a cranberry vodka?”
“Child, you must’ve gone and bumped that head of yours,” Hammer growls, going into full dad mode. It’s so adorable. I love it so much.
“I think I have, ‘cause I was wondering if you think there’s room for one more in Los Angeles. I . . . I don’t want to lose you when I just found you.” Oakleigh gnaws on her bottom lip, avoiding eye contact with her dad. Little does she realize he’d made sure she already had a place there.
“I was hopin’ you’d ask. You got your shit packed? You can come with us in the mornin’.” At his words, Oakleigh’s day’s been made. She wraps her arms around her father and me, jumps up and down and squeals. Everyone looks over in our direction and Hammer stands up, almost causing me to have a wipeout on the floor. “My lil’ girl here is comin’ to L.A. with us!”
Cheering breaks out amongst the club, and I’m sure Oakleigh won’t ever know this, but I’m so grateful to her for asking to come. It’ll make her dad feel so much better once we get settled.
In life, there’s so much change constantly happening, but the club will be okay, even if we’re not here with the people we love. We’re here in spirit and that’s what matters.
Epilogue
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.
~ The Good Vibe
Hammer
Ten Years Later . . .
“Naomi, now I swear if you don’t listen to your momma, you’re gonna get that phone of yours taken away.” I stand, sternly staring down at the eight-year-old terrorist that I call my daughter. She’s a riot, and I often ask Oakleigh if she was this much of a sassy one when she was Naomi’s age. Oakleigh tells me she was worse, but I doubt she could’ve been. I swear to God, this girl of mine is gonna grow up to be a CEO of a major corporation, make men get on their knees for her. Shit, now I’m thinkin’ she’s gonna be into that dominatrix shit. Fuck, I could throw up right here and now.
With as much sass as her momma, she crosses her arms over her chest and looks at me like I’m bluffin’, “But, daddy, what would happen if I got snatched one day after school? You and Uncle Armor are always telling me there are big, bad people out there. My phone is supposed to protect me, isn’t it?”
Motherfucking kids.
“Shiloh, come get this daughter of yours!” I snarl, stomping away. I head up the stairwell to our rooftop and once I’m up on the roof, I spot Armor smokin’ a cigarette across the bridge. Our building is right beside the Satan’s Raiders MC clubhouse. A lot of the guys and their families live in the building we do. It keeps us close enough to the club but far enough away in case the young ones are havin’ a party that gets a lil’ too wild.
“Naomi makin’ you lose your head again?” Armor cackles loudly, knowin’ all too well how my little girl does this crap.
“I pray when you find out what the baby is, it’s a girl. I need someone else to suffer like I do.”
“Fuck, man. Why you gotta go and say that shit? I’m good with two boys. Shit’s easy.”
“Damn right it is, Ty is a piece of fuckin’ cake, but Naomi . . . fuck. She lives to see me lose my head. I fuckin’ swear, and Shi gets a damn kick out of it too. Sometimes I think the two of them tag team me.”
“They probably are,” Armor smirks, not tryin’ to hide it in the least bit.
I grunt and roll my eyes, headin’ a bit closer to the bridge. A few moments of silence pass by before he clears his throat, “Oakleigh will be here this week, yeah?”
My eyes lock with Armor’s. He already knows the answer to the question he asked me.
“You can’t still be pissed at him. It’s been years, man.” Armor comes to his defense, which only makes me wanna throttle the bastard.
“It was one thing when you went after my sister, but he’s another story. You did right by Jada. You made her life better . . . but he didn’t do shit for Oakleigh.”
Armor raises his brows, “You’re joking. He helped her create an empire. Look, Hammer, I know you don’t like ‘em, but he’s made her life pretty damn good. He’s the VP of the largest MC charter in Mexico. Razor wouldn’t let anyone put a hand on her. He protects her with his life, the same way I keep Jada safe.”
Armor doesn’t have daughters. He won’t ever understand no one is good enough for their little girls. “I wanted better for her, especially after the shit she went through as a kid.”
“She got club royalty, didn’t she?” Armor coming to Razor’s defense only aggravates me more.
“He shouldn’t have ever gone for her. When he saw her at that fuckin’ stripper club downtown, he should’ve fuckin’ told me and—”
“And what, man!? She was an adult!”
“I would’ve made her stop! She didn’t need to be strippin’, showin’ her goods to anyone who tipped her. She didn’t need to—”
“You ever think she wanted to do it? It gave her some of that female empowerment?”
“Bullshit,” I grumble.
“Dude, it doesn’t even fuckin’ matter anymore. It was what, nine years ago, ten? What does it matter, like why’re you still caught up on this shit?”
“She was just brought into my life and then she was taken away, like that,” I snap my fingers, showing him how quickly Oakleigh was taken from me.
Armor blinks at me a couple of times, “Ah, so you’re pissed. You’re angry you didn’t have more time with your kid.”
“It’s more than that,” I tell him, leaning against the side of the bridge. I dig in my pocket for my medical marijuana grade vape pen, needin’ a hit so damn bad right now.
“Tell me what I’m missing.”
“He knew she was my kid when he saw her. He could’ve told me what she was doin’, there’s so much he could’ve done and he didn’t. Instead, he stayed, kept fuckin’ visitin’ her at that damn club. Shit could’ve been different.”
Armor nods, “Yeah, I’m sure it could’ve, but Oak is happy. That’s what matters here, ma
n, nothing else.”
“I can’t fuckin’ stand him. He saw her in trouble and didn’t think to tell me.”
“Oh, fuck. I see what this is about now.” Oakleigh got mixed up with the wrong crowd after we moved to Los Angeles, and so much happened, so much I should’ve been there for, but Shi was pregnant with Naomi and I was distracted.
“You don’t know shit.”
“No, I do. You forget I was here, privy to it all. Shi was pregnant when Oakleigh was workin’ at the club, right?”
I nod.
“You think you should’ve seen the signs.”
I look right at him and don’t say a fuckin’ thing. I lived every father’s worst nightmare. I wasn’t there for my child when she needed me, and I hadn’t been there enough for her, that’s for damn sure.
“No one does, man. Not one person. We . . . people in general, we’re not perfect. We miss shit. We think when people say they’re good, they’re good. We don’t go digging when all the signs point to everything being perfectly okay. You couldn’t have known.”
As much as I want to agree with him, I can’t. “She needed me to be there.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. She needed someone to be there, and that someone was Razor.” Now I’m caught agreeing with him, knowing exactly what he’s said is the damn truth, and fuck if it doesn’t kill me.
I should’ve been there and I wasn’t, and there’s not a guilt I’ll carry that’s greater than the weight of knowing I could’ve made a difference.
If you’ve made it this far, you really wanted to see the outcome between Shiloh and Hammer. I applaud you for continuing even though parts of this story were extremely difficult to get through. If you’ve been a fan of Hammer, or Shiloh, I will say I had them planned to be together from the very start. For years thoughts of these two as a couple plagued my mind, and rightfully so. They’re a match made in heaven.
Hammer (Reapers Rejects MC Book 18) Page 9
