“Like I said earlier,” he said, oblivious to my scrutiny, “Marin may only be a duchy—and a city-state, at that—but we have always been well-respected amongst the kingdoms, serving as a neutral meeting place, and even as adjudicators on occasion. I suppose that’s why we host the Princess Tourneys.” He paused and plucked a long blade of grass, twirling it between his fingers.
“We are the true center of these lands, both in culture and in trade.” He pointed toward his distant home. “Our palace is considered to be the oldest building anywhere. The first permanent structure our ancestors built when they came to these lands.”
He sighed and threw the grass away. “But we have all of us fallen on bad times.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, unsure what else to say.
He glanced over at me and then away again. “It seems like a lifetime ago that we met, although it’s only been a few days. I promised full honesty to you then, in everything, and I will give it. I will not hide our true state from you.”
He sighed. “Palinar’s fall was a significant blow to us all. And Talinos responded badly. The borders remain intact, but they’re still terrified that the taint may creep down into their land. They’ve refocused all their resources to their border with Palinar, and the rest of the kingdom falters, too neglected to thrive.
“Meanwhile, the winters in Eldon seem to get longer every year. Oliver and his sisters used to be good company, but they seem to have frozen alongside their kingdom. It’s been some time since Eldon was able to produce any sort of harvest. And we have no fields of our own. Just this small ring of hillside pastures around the city.
“We’re a trading hub. If the other kingdoms aren’t prosperous and trading with one another, it puts us in a desperate situation. We’re living off stored gold and foodstuffs from better times as it is. And now that we have to host this Tourney, the supplies are draining fast.”
“What about Trione?” I asked. “They seem prosperous and, from the way Millie talks, you sound like close allies. Your mother is her father’s sister, right?”
He sighed again. “Trione have pulled back from us lately, but I don’t think Uncle Edward and Aunt Juliette have told their children. They’re making decisions as king and queen, not as brother and sister-in-law, and they probably guess Teddy and Millie will be unhappy about it. I know my mother is upset.”
He stopped and ran his free hand through his hair. “But personally, I can’t blame them. There’s a darkness creeping down from the North, on both continents, and it makes sense for them to try to save their own kingdom.”
“A darkness?” I shivered despite the bright sunlight.
“My father doesn’t seem to see it, but it’s quite clear to me. Palinar is completely lost, and Talinos is crippled by fear. Eldon will soon be entirely swallowed by ice, and Eliam…”
He glanced over at me. “You’ve heard about Snow’s father? He won’t last much longer, they say. And his wife—that’s Snow’s stepmother—is an…interesting character. I can’t like the idea of her ruling one of the kingdoms.”
“Won’t the kingdom go to Blanche if he dies? She’s an only child, right?”
“It should, of course, but she’s not of age yet which complicates things. And if her stepmother doesn’t want to cede power, who’s to make her? Us?” He laughed, but there was no humour in the sound. “As I said, this is a full confessional. We’re in a bad way here. All of us.”
“Except for Trione?” I tried to cling to some shred of positivity.
“Yes, which is why I understand their withdrawal. They’re an island, so maybe they have a chance, too.” He looked at me sideways. “I’m sure Teddy will forget about his mystery ocean girl soon. He’s a nice enough fellow generally. And Trione would make good allies.”
He looked miserable. And, his expression made my tension at his words melt away. In fact, it made me want to smile. But I suppressed the urge. It didn’t matter if I had no intention of marrying Teddy, something far bigger stood between me and Jon. “There is no point in thinking of alliances until we are through this Tourney. Anything might happen still.”
“Yes, of course. You might win, after all.” His voice sounded a little odd, but I couldn’t see his eyes because he kept them trained away from me toward the sea. I did, however, see his free hand slowly clench into a fist.
Chapter 17
As soon as we were back in our suite, Sophie turned on me. I’d seen it coming in her eyes ever since she’d returned from her walk and interrupted my conversation with Jon. I didn’t always need projections to know what she was thinking.
That’s it! No more putting me off. She faced me, her hands on her hips. You two have been making eyes at each other ever since we arrived. But this afternoon the tension was so thick between the two of you, I could practically touch it. I want to know what’s going on. What did he say? A small smile crept over her face. And, more importantly, what do you think of him?
I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. I’ll tell you what he said, of course. But it isn’t anything like you’re thinking. We weren’t talking about us. Or, at least, not directly. He actually gave me insights on all the kingdoms—things you should know. And they serve as a reminder that I have far more important things to worry about than a personable prince.
I proceeded to relate everything Jon had told me. About Marin, about Palinar, about the encroaching darkness. Halfway through, Sophie sat beside me, all humor gone from her face. We had sensed something wrong with these lands from the beginning, but neither of us had expected the situation to be so bad. When we had sailed away from our homes, aware that we faced possible marriages of alliance and might, therefore, never return, we had imagined this land quite differently. So far, only the friendly young royals had lived up to our expectation. And our connection with our new friends only made the insidious threat worse.
When I finished, we sighed in unison and then smiled weakly at each other.
So you see, I explained, I could talk about the fact that, no matter how much I try to deny it, there’s something in his gaze that makes me feel…special. And I could admit that it took all my self-control this afternoon not to reach across the short space between us and touch his arm. But what would be the point? I can’t afford to indulge the luxury of such thinking. Not with the Tourney. And maybe not even without it. From the sound of it, even Jon thinks Teddy would make a better choice.
Sophie took a deep breath and then spoke aloud. “No, you were right in what you said to him, Lily. There will be time enough to think of alliances after the Tourney. We should just focus on getting everyone safely through the events. When it’s over we can think about other things.”
I could easily read the concern in her eyes, and the way she wanted to distract me from the unpleasant truth. To put off as long as possible the likelihood that the end of the Tourney would mark the first of the alliances between the Four Kingdoms and this land. Even without Marin’s troubles, I was unlikely to be free to follow my heart.
I hated the heavy feeling that had settled between us, so I smiled and spoke slowly, trying to cheer her up. “Although, surely it can’t do any harm to spend just a moment dwelling on those muscles. He must be strong. Did you see him take down the bear? I was too busy cowering on the ground, unfortunately. If I’d thought a bit more quickly, I could have pretended I’d twisted my ankle, and then he would have had to carry me up the hill.”
“Lily! You’re shocking. You would never!” Sophie pushed me lightly and then collapsed back onto the bed, laughing.
I dropped back to lie beside her and stare up at the canopy. “Maybe not, but a girl can dream.” I used my most innocent voice. “I’m sure I would have been light as a feather to him.”
“Not the point,” she said between giggles.
I smiled, upwards. Mission accomplished.
She propped herself up on one elbow so that she could see me. “He is rather attractive, of course. I agree with you completely there. It’s somethi
ng about that hair, and those eyes…”
“…those arms,” I interjected, and she giggled.
“I can understand why you’re drawn to him. But…” She paused and wrinkled her nose, trying to find the right words. “He’s a little too…dutiful for my taste.
I rolled over to look at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know exactly. It’s hard to describe, just a feeling, really. Maybe he comes across as just a little too constrained? Don’t you want to be romanced? You said it yourself, in fact—you want to be swept off your feet.”
“Mmmm, yes.” I flopped back to stare upwards again. “Only I meant that quite literally you know.”
Sophie snorted.
“But, in all seriousness?” I frowned as I thought over my words. “I like that he takes his responsibilities seriously. It shows that he truly cares. For his family and his people.” I knew I sounded a little defensive, but I couldn’t help myself. “That’s an attractive quality.”
Sophie laughed softly. “And that’s probably why you don’t notice it—you’re too much alike. Except he keeps forgetting he’s not the duke yet, and you keep forgetting I’m not sick anymore. He’s not solely responsible for his people, and you’re not responsible for me.” She sighed. “I keep hoping one day you’ll realize that.”
We lay there for a moment in silence. A part of me agreed with her, but another part of me knew that she didn’t really understand. I had never come close to death, which meant she had never stood on the edge of solitude, gripped by fear. I didn’t just take care of her for her sake. I also did it for mine. Because I couldn’t bear to lose my other half. What would I be without her?
“Do you remember all the other girls back home?” Sophie asked eventually. “All the courtiers and the commoners who thought being a princess must be lovely?”
“Being a princess was lovely back home. I’ve been lying here remembering how we begged our parents to let us accompany the delegation.”
“Yes, our lives would be a lot simpler if we’d stayed in Arcadia.” She turned her head to look at me. “Less exciting, though.”
I rolled my eyes. “And thus, our downfall.”
The next evening, Sophie and I entered the ballroom together as we always did. Jon had been occupied all day with his father, and I had told myself to be glad for his absence.
And yet, as usual, my mind refused to behave, and I found myself looking for him as soon we stepped through the doors. If he was still occupied with his duties, he might not have time for balls and dancing. He didn’t spend his days looking handsome and socializing, like Teddy and Gabe. He cared for his people and poured his time into them, which made every minute he took off to spend with me that much more meaningful. I had no right to expect he would always be awaiting our arrival, as he had done at past balls.
And yet, sure enough, he approached us immediately. His eyes flew to me, as they so often seemed to do, but for once he didn’t smile. He looked determined, and a little cold, as he turned to Sophie instead.
“Dance with me, Princess Sophie?” His friendly smile appeared as he looked at her.
“Oh! I…” She looked at me.
What are you waiting for? Go! I tried to make my projection as nonchalant as possible and to keep my eyes off them as they swept away.
But when Gabe reached me, I agreed to dance without knowing what I said. And my attempts to keep my eyes from straying to Sophie and Jon as they circled the dance floor failed miserably.
Had this been the real reason for my determination to push Jon away? Perhaps, somehow, underneath everything, I had been waiting for this. Eventually Jon would get close enough to see my weaknesses. To recognize how incomplete I was as an individual. It had only been a matter of time before Jon saw the truth and lost interest.
Back home it had never been an issue, because we had never had any real suitors. The only men who courted us were interested in the power and position that such a marriage would bring. They didn’t differentiate between us, since any princess would do for the purpose. And none of the young men amongst our friends at court had ever tried to court either of us. My brother and his wife claimed it was because we were too close to each other. The boys had always seen us as a single unit rather than two individuals.
But our family was blinded by their love. They didn’t see the reason everyone saw us as a single unit, the essential closeness that kept us both functioning. Our godmother had gifted it to us, and we had no idea how to change it. And no desire to do so, either. After all, our families didn’t know our true connection, or how impossible it would be to temper it.
And yet, somehow, right from the beginning, Jon had seen us as distinct. He had never once confused us. I had started to believe he truly saw us as two separate people. I didn’t know why I hadn’t recognized the inevitable consequences of his unexpected insight.
My dance with Gabe ended, and another young man took his place—a Marinese nobleman whose name I instantly forgot. Sophie and Jon had disappeared from sight. Had they moved to the other side of the dance floor? Or had they left to search for refreshments?
Before I could make up my mind, Jon spun past. Except now he was dancing with Millie. A minute later I spotted Sophie watching me from the side of the dance floor, a glass in each hand. She shook her head at me pityingly, and I excused myself to my partner so that I could cross the floor to join her.
She handed me one of the drinks. I thought if I let you stress a little it might make you acknowledge your true feelings a little more openly, but you looked so pathetic I don’t have the heart to continue.
I bristled. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Uh huh. She smiled at me knowingly. Then I’m sure you have no interest whatsoever in the fact that Prince Jonathan has been reprimanded by his father and reminded that, as a host of the Tourney, it is his duty to dance with all the contestants.
Oh. I could feel the flush rising up my face. Sophie was right. When had I become this pathetic?
“Here take this.” She thrust the glass at me. “But drink quickly. We need to show Jon that he’s not the only one in high demand.”
I stared at her. I thought we’d agreed to put schemes of romance aside until after the Tourney?
She tossed her head. No, we agreed to put thoughts of alliances behind us until after the Tourney. Personally, I wasn’t thinking of them much to start with. And since Teddy’s good looks are rather spoiled by his moping, and Gabe is a little too daring for my tastes, I have yet to decide where my own romantic efforts should fall. Which means we need to focus on you.
“Sophie!”
She ignored me. Jon seems to think Teddy his most likely rival, so we should start there.
“Sophie!” I tried again, and this time she turned to glare at me. A struggle, since her smile kept trying to shine through.
Her projection dropped to a quiet whisper. Aren’t you curious to see if we can break through all that responsibility and restraint? Just a little bit?
I… I had intended to tell her off, but she seemed to take my hesitation as agreement.
“Excellent, then.” She slipped her arm through mine and dragged me toward the refreshment table. “Teddy!” she called as we barreled up to him. “You’re just the person we need…”
When the bell finally rang, I still hadn’t danced with Jon. But I’d danced with five other handsome and eligible young men, and I had been silently complaining to Sophie for the last two. Remember how we still have to compete in an event after this? We should be conserving our strength. I glowered over at her. No, scratch that, I should be conserving my strength. You’re doing just fine.
Sophie had taken a seat against the wall and gathered a small court of admiring locals around her. She had turned down all offers to dance and had kept them busy bringing her food and drink instead. We didn’t even need our feet for the last event. And, anyway, some sacrifices are worth it. Love is pain, and all that.
I b
elieve that’s beauty is pain, sister dearest.
Oh! Is it? Her projection dripped with surprise, but I knew the emotion was feigned.
I didn’t know why I was still arguing with her if she was in this mood. Love is pain. I shook my head and startled my dance partner by chuckling out loud. Sophie was the last person to appreciate pain in any form. She was just being ornery and outrageous on purpose.
Thankfully the bell rang before I had to think of an excuse for my oddly-timed levity, allowing me to excuse myself and hurry away.
We princesses were a silent group as we made our way through the groves and floated across the lake. After the outcome of the second event, I had since made special care not to let even a toe touch the water.
When we arrived in the throne room, everyone seemed equally reluctant to approach the table which once again had twelve chairs. Sophie’s earlier good humor had dropped away. A glance at her pale face made me step forward, ignoring my own nerves.
“There’s no reason to think the chairs are unsafe. The castle was collapsing on our heads in the first event, but I haven’t seen so much as a piece of gravel come away since. None of the events seem to affect future events.”
“Except for this,” Celine grumbled as she pointed at her bandaged leg.
“Well, yes, except for that.” I grimaced at her sympathetically. “But that doesn’t change the likely safety of our chairs.”
When no one else moved or responded, I sighed, and stepped forward to take the chair that had collapsed under Giselle. When nothing happened, I glared at the others and they came over to take seats of their own.
Parchments appeared on all our plates the instant the last princess sat down. Almost as if the Tourney had shared my impatience. I eyed the parchment uneasily, but Emmeline picked up hers with the utmost unconcern. Steeling myself, I unfolded my own.
A Dance of Silver and Shadow: A Retelling of The Twelve Dancing Princesses (Beyond the Four Kingdoms Book 1) Page 15
