by Leah Wilde
“Dimitri told me you killed her so you could get out of a deal that went south.” My voice sounded so feeble, even to myself.
Gage didn’t say anything right away. I could see him digesting what Dimitri had told me. The longer he thought about it, though, the angrier he looked.
“What does he know about it?” he growled. “He wasn’t there.”
“He told me as much,” I assured him. His growing anger radiated from his body like heat. I instinctively took a step back and drew his attention back to me with my movement.
“I think your visits with our Russian friend have come to an end.” He narrowed his eyes at me. A chill went up my spine. I felt I was in danger. The last thing I wanted to do was to draw his anger towards me.
“I think if I keep talking to him, he’ll crack,” I protested meekly.
Gage stood up, and I had to tell myself not to cower back further. His seething anger was the calm kind that gave no indication of what his next move would be. I didn’t want to be too close when he finally lashed out. I also wanted him to know I could stand my ground, even in the face of someone like him, who towered over me and shrouded me in the shadow he cast.
“No. I’m not going to let you keep talking to him just so that he can keep filling your head with this idea that I’m a dangerous man.” The anger was rising to the surface. His voice was curling at the edges as the flames licked it.
“You still haven’t denied it.” The words were out before I even had a chance to filter the thought. That was one of those things I wished I could have unsaid.
“What would you have done?” There it was. There was his anger. It erupted in his booming voice that reverberated throughout the room and shook me down to the bone.
“I wasn’t there, Gage. I wouldn’t have been there. This is not the life I want to lead. I don’t want to be part of this shit. Torturing people, killing people, selling drugs and God only knows what else? I don’t want that for myself.” His anger ignited my voice finally. I didn’t want to hide anymore. I wanted to get in his face. I wanted to scream. I wanted to leave.
“Then you just don’t understand. Maybe you should go. Maybe I should find someone else who won’t get so involved, who won’t try to understand so much about what’s going on. You obviously can’t just do the job.” His voice had calmed, but his words were still full of venom.
“I think we both know that leaving won’t solve anything. How do I know I can leave without having to check over my shoulder? How do I know I won’t eventually end up in Dimitri’s chair?” I hurled the questions at him.
“How do you know you won’t end up down there with him if you keep this shit up?” he growled.
We stood chest to chest with our faces mere inches apart as we talked. I kept waiting for him to kiss me. I longed for something to happen to turn this confrontation around. The tension between us threatened to explode if we continued not to give into it. He should have known I wasn’t about to leave. I couldn’t leave.
His chest heaved. His hot, ragged breath came through flared nostrils like fire. He looked like a bull getting ready to charge. If I didn’t leave right then, I knew I would probably never get another good, clear chance to walk away.
I took a step back and broke the tension between us. His body immediately relaxed, and I knew I was doing the right thing. My heart immediately stopped pounding as hard in my chest. It was obvious to me then that we were bringing out the worst in each other. While our passionate sex was amazing, that same passion drove tensions between us. Ours was a one-way street to disaster, and I couldn’t let it get that far. I had to get back to work.
“You’re right about one thing,” I told him.
“What’s that?”
“I got too involved. I tried too hard to understand the events surrounding yours and Dimitri’s relationship. I’m not cut out for this kind of work.” I started walking towards the door, but a giant tattooed hand landed on it in front of me. He held it closed so I couldn’t even open it.
“Where are you going?” he growled behind me. He stood close enough that I could feel his body heat. It tugged at me. It tried to pull me back to him, and at any other time, I would have welcomed the embrace it promised. This was not one of those times, however.
“I’m leaving you to your work,” I answered without turning around. I closed my eyes and silently begged him not to pull me back. If he had even tried to hold me back, I would have stayed. It was so easy with him to stop caring about everything else. He was already too comfortable for me.
“Okay.” I heard the resolve in his voice, and I felt the weight of his hand lift from the door.
I opened my eyes and opened the door. There was no way it was going to be this easy, I knew. As I stepped into the hallway, I waited for him to say something, anything, to stop me. He remained silent behind me as I walked away.
After making it about half way down the hallway, I felt his hold on me start to slip. The inertia that pulled our bodies together failed, and I was let go. I was able to break free. At the stairs, I turned back and expected to see him standing in the doorway watching me, but he was nowhere to be seen. He had retreated into the room, away from the door.
I hesitated before I took the first step. I knew that once I started, that was it. Once I took the first step away from him, I would not be able to turn back. I glanced down the hall to his door one last time and realized that I had indeed already taken the first step in walking away from him, from this.
At the second floor, the clubhouse, I kept going. I walked around to the stairs leading down to the garage, and for a brief moment, for just a split second, I considered going downstairs and helping Dimitri out. I didn’t, though, because I figured those two deserved each other. Furthermore, I didn’t need to know how their story ended. My story ended here, I had decided.
I fished out my phone as I hit the sidewalk. I ordered a cab to meet me at the corner. I wasn’t going to settle for waiting for one to come by. As I reached the corner, I looked back. No one had followed me. No one stood outside to watch me leave.
I was finished, and not a moment too soon! If Gage had found out about the drug deal, I could have easily wound up in the same position as his old girlfriend. I could have found myself in the middle of the whole thing. I had a life to return to. I had a future ahead of me.
I hesitated with the cab door open because I also had my mother’s medical expenses, and the money Gage had promised me after completing the job would certainly have helped me to catch up. I considered going back and finishing the job, but I had made it this far on my own, without any help from people like Gage Noll, and I would just have to keep pushing myself along until I got caught up. I could do it on my own. There was no easy way out for me. The easy way out required sacrificing too much of my dignity and even my life. I wasn’t okay with that.
Without anything on me other than my phone and a little bit of cash in my pocket, I slid into the back of the cab and told the driver to take me home.
Chapter 18
Gage
I couldn’t believe she actually left. I watched in shock as she opened the door when I let go of it. She stepped through and started down the hallway. I turned away, unwilling to watch her leave. After a few minutes, I realized she wasn’t going to come back in the room. She wasn’t going to fight more with me this time.
I stepped over to a window facing the front of HQ and pulled the curtains back to look down on the street. I watched her walk up to the corner and catch a cab. She was gone. Whatever attraction or desire had brought us together again and again hadn’t been strong enough to keep us together. I let the curtains fall back into place. I hung my head.
Then, slowly, while I thought about what had happened, how it had happened, and why, it dawned on me. It was Dimitri’s fault for filling her head with a bunch of nonsense and for trying to convince her that I was a danger to her. If she had just done what I asked her to do, she would have been alright. She would not have found
herself in harm’s way the way Lisa, my ex, had.
I hadn’t thought about Lisa in ages. It wasn’t that I wanted to forget what had gone down. I just needed to move past it. I had vowed to her that I would never let anything like that happen to anyone else. My carelessness had caused what happened that day. Instead of mulling it over again, however, I was going to make Dimitri pay for bringing those memories back up.
Dimitri smiled humorlessly when I walked into the room in the basement.
“You knew I was coming down here after you brought Lisa up,” I told him.
I would have imagined that anyone else in Dimitri’s position would have shown more tact, but no, not Dimitri. The thing about big guys like Dimitri was that they could take a lot of punishment and keep on going like nothing had even happened. That was what made them valuable assets to people like Ivan. That fact was not lost on Dimitri. He knew how much punishment he could take, and he truly believed I wasn’t going to test that limit.
He kept his smug smile as I talked and approached the table. He may not have understood the words that were coming out of my mouth, but he knew exactly why I was down there. He knew what he had told Julia, and he knew I had come to hand out his punishment.
“Now you’re fucked. There’s no one else here who understands Russian, but I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement anyway.” I shoved the table aside so that I stood directly in front of his chair.
If I had allowed Dimitri to stand up in front of me, he would have towered over me. He would have stood wider than I did as well. He was a mountain of a man, a real Russian bear. He wasn’t standing, however, which gave me a rather unfair advantage over him. I didn’t mind.
“You see, Dimitri, I know a language that we both speak. Pain.” I leaned forward as I spoke, bringing my face down to his level.
He spat in my face and laughed.
“Oh, that’s it, you motherfucker.” I punched him right in the mouth.
He just smiled and spit out the blood. I almost didn’t hear it spatter on the floor over the sound of another punch landing square in his gut. He lurched forward in the chair, pulling on the rope tied across his chest.
I unleashed my rage on his punching bag body and face, burying my fists into him. He took everything I dished out and kept the bloody smile on his face. When I stopped and stepped back to catch my breath, he laughed at me and said something in Russian.
“Shut the fuck up,” I shouted, sending another fist into his face. I punched the smiles and laughter right out of him then. His head slumped forward, and blood dripped from his face. His chest heaved with his heavy, beaten breath.
I couldn’t stop myself. I took off my thick leather belt and wrapped the ends around my hands.
“You want to talk shit when Dr. Danvers is in here, huh? Let’s hear you talk shit now.” I stepped around behind him and pulled his head back with my belt around his throat.
He gasped and looked up at me with his bruised and bloody face.
“Talk shit, Dimitri. I can’t hear you.”
I pulled harder. I pressed the belt more against his chin than his neck. I didn’t want to choke him out. I just wanted to hurt him. He wheezed, and I saw his hands frantically gripping and releasing the arms of his chair.
“You’re being awfully quiet. Did you run out of shit to say, you dumb bastard?”
“Gage!”
I let go of the Russian’s neck and looked over at the voice calling me from the door. It was Juarez. He entered the room when I acknowledged him. Chase followed, of course. Those two were like the tag team champions from hell.
I took a step back from Dimitri and eyed my boys as they walked across the room in front of me.
“Why are you down here doing the dirty work?” Chase asked, and started laughing.
“Seriously, Gage, we can take care of this for you,” Juarez added.
Dimitri looked up at me with panic in his eyes.
“Oh, you don’t like it when I let the boys play, huh?” I mocked him.
“I don’t think he does,” Chase answered.
“That’s good to know.” I stepped around in front of Dimitri, placing myself between Chase and Juarez.
His eyes followed me. He seemed to be pleading with me not to let them have him.
“Danvers,” he said. He started repeating her name.
“I’m sorry, Dimitri, but you fucked that one up. You ran her off with your little stories. You really have no place talking about shit you didn’t even witness. So now, you’re left with just us, but don’t worry. My guys will take good care of you.” I spoke slowly, though I was certain it didn’t help him understand a thing I said. That condescending tone just felt so good.
I stepped back behind my boys so I could watch them work their magic on him.
“Have at him, guys,” I told them.
“Ladies first,” Juarez said, holding a hand out to allow Chase the first punch.
“Oh, real funny, but you’ve always liked my leftovers, so here you go.” He threw a punch into Dimitri’s gut.
It was like watching two kids on the playground. They talked trash to each other while they worked him over with their fists.
“Don’t kill him,” I told them. It wasn’t time to let him go just yet. I wanted him to hurt for taking Julia from me. I wanted him to pay for sticking his nose into my business and stirring up old dust from the past.
“That’s no fun anyway,” Juarez said as he shoved a fist into Dimitri’s shoulder. His voice sounded strained, as if he had lifted something heavy and held it while he talked. Dimitri winced in pain, and I was sure Juarez had just broken something.
“Right. It’s more fun to keep him alive. More torture.” Chase landed one right across Dimitri’s jaw, sending spit and blood all over his partner.
“You son of a bitch. Look at what the hell you just did,” Juarez cursed Dimitri for spitting on him. He grabbed the Russian by the back of the head and forced him to look at the blood on his t-shirt before ramming a fist into his face.
“Guys, take a break,” I urged them.
“Huh?” They both looked at me. They stood like boxers with their hands up in front of their faces as if they were waiting on the next move from their opponent, but he wasn’t going to be throwing any punches any time soon.
“Back up a second. I want to watch him,” I said.
They backed away like they were told, and Dimitri’s head fell forward again. His breathing sounded wet and phlegmy, but that was probably from the blood covering his face. It dripped on his jeans and his shirt, but at least he was still breathing.
“Let’s let him catch his breath.” I held my hands up to hold the guys back.
“Come on, Gage, don’t go soft,” Chase insisted.
“He’s still got a few more rounds left in him,” Juarez added.
“No, I think he’s had enough for now,” I argued.
The boys put their fists down.
“You know what would be fun?” Chase asked as he turned away from the Russian.
“Oh, man, I’m thinking the same thing you are. Gage, let’s untie him so he can fight back. We’ve got a pretty good head start on the guy, so I doubt he’d be able to catch up,” Juarez blabbed excitedly.
“You can even join us.” Chase clapped a hand onto my shoulder.
I looked at the worn down Russian in front of us. Those boys hadn’t seen him in action. They thought they were hurting him, but I would have put money on there being a smile on his face while he looked down and away from us. Guys like Dimitri fed on violence and pain.
“You two must be stupid,” I said flatly.
They snapped their faces toward me in disbelief.
“If we let him go, that motherfucker will stand up and show you what strength really is,” I continued.
“No way,” Chase dismissed me.
“Look at him! He’s down,” Juarez insisted.
“No, he’s just waiting. He wants you to let him go so you can keep beating him.
As soon as you do, though, he’ll whoop both your asses. You don’t know him the way I do. You’ve never seen him in action,” I explained.
“Well, you’re the boss,” Chase eventually said.
Dimitri looked up when he realized we were done. Sure enough, he wore a perverse smile across his face. He was enjoying the punishment the guys were dishing out. That bloody smile and those evil eyes staring up at me just pissed me off that much more.
“Fuck it. Finish him,” I said. I turned around as the guys went back to him with smiles on their faces. I could hear him protesting as their fists began meeting their target again. The fleshy smacks of fists in his gut and across his face gave way to the deep, hard thuds of their fists connecting with bone.
