by Stella Rhys
“Well. Let’s hope this meringue compares to Taylor’s,” she said, glancing at me as she picked up her fork. Sensing the tension, I looked to Mason but he didn’t seem particularly perturbed. Maybe it was because he’d put his hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing before and since, his palm had made its way up my thigh.
“Try it,” he said, holding a forkful of the dessert off his plate.
“I’m full,” I smiled at the glimmer in his eye as he lowered his voice.
“Come on.” His grin was so damned irresistible. “Help me get through the rest of this brunch.”
“Watching me eat dessert is what helps you get through boredom?”
“Watching you wrap those lips around something, yes.”
“If you wait a little longer, you’ll get to watch them wrap around something even better,” I smirked.
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Because the second we get on that plane, I’m bending you over and fucking you, Taylor.”
Damn it, Mase. I pushed him away to thwart any blushing but it was too late and I could tell from the way Sofia was nudging a very hung over Noah down the table. I would’ve smirked and shot them a look but I knew that if they were watching Mason and me, so were Eva and Aaron and without even looking in her direction, I feel Eva’s next remark brewing.
“Taylor, you have to try the dessert. I have to know if it compares to your meringue last year,” she said, innocuously enough. But my alert was still on high.
“Definitely, but in a bit. I’m pretty stuffed.”
“Oh, but you have to try it now, it’s so good,” Eva insisted. “Take off your Spanx if you have to.”
Ah. There it is. Hardly surprised, I managed a laugh. “I’m actually not wearing any. This dress is too tight for me to fit another layer underneath.”
“That means you should’ve gotten a size up,” Whitney quipped, smiling innocently at me. But then she eyed Eva, the two exchanging a look of mischief before she went on. “Yeah… I know it’s like, in right now but I just don’t ever want to be the curvy type. They just don’t look as good in clothes.”
Eva touched her lip. “Mm. True.”
“Fuckin’ news to me.”
It a low, almost bored mutter but the entire table heard it and stopped for a second to peer at Mason, who acted oblivious to the attention his remark at gotten. Checking the time on his phone, he looked up and raised his eyebrows.
“What?” He played dumb. It was the one thing he couldn’t pull off and I found it far more charming than I should have. But judging from the little smiles around the table, I wasn’t the only one.
“Okay, so we might have to go soon,” I whispered in his ear, hardly able to contain my amusement.
“Just say the word,” Mason smirked as Eva let out a loud, heavy sigh. It sounded like a preparation for her final act – one last jab to try and bring me down. I couldn’t help looking her way again as she spoke, resting her hand on her perfectly flat stomach.
“Yeah… that’s why I have to get pregnant soon,” she said, gazing down at herself. “I heard your body doesn’t bounce back as well after twenty-seven, and I just know my pregnancy is gonna do a number on me.”
“Why’s that?” someone asked curiously.
Eva slid her hand in Aaron’s, smiling despite the uneasiness on his face. I felt it, too. I didn’t know what it was, but I couldn’t help feeling oddly nervous about whatever Eva was about to say.
“Well, I heard it’s a tougher pregnancy when you’re carrying a boy, and I just feel it in my heart that that’s what I’m going to have – a boy,” Eva said dreamily, perching her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. “And when I do, I already have the name picked out for him.” She turned her big, innocent eyes to me. “It’s going to Nolan.”
The screech of my chair pushing out from under the table deafened me. Everyone else, too – I could tell from the wave of audible cringes. I wanted to apologize but the blood was draining fast from my face and my heart was beating out of my chest as I stormed as far from the table as possible, as fast as my feet could bear to take me. I felt instantly sick to my stomach, disgusted with Eva but than that, loathing Aaron for not only leaving me but telling his new fiancée all about the baby I named after the teacher who helped me get to New York – the baby I had lost to the most horrific pain of my life. God, I mean how did that conversation even go? “By the way, the girl I left you for carried my child for almost three months but then we lost it and it sucked but hey, now I’m with you.” I could barely manage to talk about what happened to even the closest people around me, and yet Aaron blithely told the woman he abandoned me for. And not only was she able to live with taking him from me despite what we went through, she was able to throw it back in my face for the cheap sake of hurting me, forcing me to cry in front of a table of strangers.
There was a lot I could take, but I couldn’t stand that.
And I was done here. I was so incredibly ready to go home.
My heart was pounding out of my chest as I continued away with no direction at all. I had stormed my way to some hallway strewn with flowers when I heard the footsteps behind me. I expected Mason and Aaron, but I suspected I heard even Sofia as well. When I finally spun around I confirmed all three including Noah, who pulled Sofia back to let the brothers rush forward to me.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron blurted hastily, horror in his eyes. “That was disgusting. I didn’t know she would say that. I swear, I didn’t think she could possibly – ”
“I don’t care about her!” I yelled at him, Mason containing my fury with one arm wrapped around me. I tried powering through his grip to scream straight in Aaron’s face but there was no chance of that against his strength, so I simply glared through tears at the man I couldn’t even remember loving anymore. “You did this. You made all these choices. You proposed to me, you left me, you didn’t have the heart to tell me, but you did tell your new girl about our baby boy,” I hissed, watching my words cut like blades through Aaron. “And you know what, I expect her to hate me. Even if I weren’t with Mason, I would expect her to want to cut me down at least a little, so her behavior is of no surprise to me – but you? I would’ve thought that despite all the shit you’ve pulled on me, you’d still be a good enough person to keep at least Nolan between the two of us, but you’re not.” I was breathless, panting. Aaron was already crying, but I cruelly went on. “I don’t know. Maybe we just didn’t deserve him, Aaron. But whatever it is, I’m done so much as looking at you. I’m done letting you hurt me and I’m moving the hell on, so I urge you to do that too. Enjoy your life with Eva – you deserve each other.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Breathe.
Remember. Forget.
Breathe.
It was an odd mantra and it wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, but it made sense to me and it helped my heartbeat return to normalcy within an hour on the plane. I just needed to breathe in, remember what I had now, how it was worlds better than what I had in the past, then breathe out.
After all, nothing had actually changed. Nothing from before the brunch with Aaron and Eva had changed except for the fact that I now knew my ex was actually worse than I imagined. But that didn’t matter. He was my ex. My past. And I was moving on. I only cried because it was a cheap shot. But that was how cheap shots worked, and everyone had one – that weak spot that could break them down no matter how happy or content they might be. That just so happened to describe me now to a tee: perfectly happy and content, but with a bruise in my soul that wouldn’t fail to hurt if you poked it. It was never going to go away, but I was sure that over time, the pain of the bruise would heal and that I could more than live with.
“God, I can’t wait to just be home,” I said tiredly, my head resting against Mason as we sat on the couch across from the leather seats Sofia and Noah lounged in. While Sofia was very much awake, Noah was unsurprisingly asleep, Mason halfway there himself
. But he stayed awake to make sure I was breathing steady again, occasionally burying kisses in my hair.
“Neither can I,” he murmured. “But we still have four days after this.”
“Four days of what?”
“Your time off,” he replied, reminding me that I could very well fit an actual vacation in before returning to work at Vandermark. Across from me, Sofia looked up from her phone to laugh at my look of pleasant astonishment.
“And she’s back,” she snorted. “Quick, Mase. Brainstorm some places to go and maybe she’ll even smile.”
I laughed, prompting her and Mason to cheer and stir Noah with irritation from his sleep. “Goddamnit. What’s happening?” he muttered, pulling the hood of his sweater over his eyes.
“We’re contemplating a real vacation,” Sofia answered. “Like, one where Mason and Taylor aren’t there to stop a wedding and cause brouhaha all over the place.”
Noah rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know, I like brouhaha. In moderation. It’s not bad with mezcal.”
Everyone stopped. Mason stared hard for three seconds then squinted at Noah. “What in the actual hell are you talking about?” he asked with such seriousness I had to snort against his chest.
Sofia lifted Noah’s hood up from his eyes, studying him with a combination of irritation and concern. “We’re talking about how we don’t want drama during our next vacation, you drunk. That’s what brouhaha means. What were you thinking?”
“Oh, I thought it was a liqueur.”
“That’s Kahlua, you idiot.”
I nearly choked from laughing at Sofia’s harshness, and at Noah as he sat up and frowned groggily, searching his own head for reasons why he’d confuse those two words. I was smiling so hard my cheeks actually hurt, but I welcomed this pain because it was the first step toward moving on – to the next chapter of my life where hopefully, I’d see more of Noah’s unintentional comedy because I’d be spending more time with his best friend. Looking up at Mason, I smiled, enjoying the angle of his gorgeous face while leaning against his chest. I stared at those high cheekbones, that square jaw – all the sharply carved lines that composed his striking features. I considered their symmetry was what made his crooked grin so stunningly sexy when he finally glanced down at me again.
“So what do you think?” he asked, pushing my hair behind my ear.
“Of what?”
“Where you want to spend the next four days. Any place in the world. Name it and I’ll take you there.”
My heart skipped a beat but then I laughed because my answer was undoubtedly going to have him making fun of me like he did with my birthday wish. “I just want to go home, Mason.”
“Really?” He looked mildly disappointed. “I’ll take you anywhere, Taylor. I’ll take you to fucking Disneyland if you want. I’ll hate every second of it but if that’s where you want to be, I’ll go there with you.”
My lips spread in a big grin. “No. I just want to be home.”
“Can I ask why?”
My gaze floated away as I thought about it. “I don’t know, I just… want to clean my slate and begin my new chapter, and I can’t do that if I’m still lounging on some beach somewhere. I have to be home so I know whatever good I’m feeling isn’t a false start. I want to know that it’s real.”
The humor faded from Mason’s blue eyes as he studied me. Holding my jaw, he tipped my face up, taking another moment to soak me in before surprising me with a kiss. I closed my eyes and just breathed him, so in love with how I felt in his arms, able to touch him, taste him, smell him. I didn’t think the moment could get any better but when he pulled away, Mason gave me that crooked smile. “You know it’s real, right?” he asked in a low murmur.
I blinked, knowing well that we weren’t talking about the same topic anymore. I told myself not to ruin the moment by being explicit, but I couldn’t help myself. “You and me?”
“Yes,” he answered too quickly for me to entertain even the slightest shred of doubt. “I think you figured it out awhile ago but I figure it wouldn’t hurt to be up front about it,” he smiled. “Especially since I’m about to ask you to spend the next four days at my apartment. I know you want to get back to the real world but it’s going to be fucking cold once we get back to New York, and I have no intention of telling the office that I’m available yet. So come home with me.” Mason threaded his fingers through my hair, pressing another sweet kiss to my mouth. “Please. We can be real at my house, I promise.”
God. How could I possibly say no to that?
“Okay,” I whispered. “Then we’ll go to your house,” I said – and as evenly as I could for a girl whose heart was about to burst.
*
I was first out as the doors opened for us to exit the aircraft. The instant gust of bitter cold that slapped my face made it seem like the New York winter was eager to bring me down. But nothing could bring me down right now. I toppled a bit in my heels but grabbed the railing as I made my way down the short flight of stairs and onto the tarmac, well prepared for the weather this time in my long coat and thick scarf. But my gloves were somewhere in my luggage so I stuck my hands into my pockets to warm them, forgetting I’d stuffed my phone into the left side. Upon making contact, it buzzed in my hand.
Really? I hadn’t planned on looking at my phone till I got home. Something told me I’d have to deal with some long, mopey speech from Aaron – either that or an insane guilt trip about how I ruined his wedding and how karma would get me. I had already mapped out a dozen different directions in which his inevitable message could go, so I was fairly certain that I was prepared for whatever he had in store for me. But considering how many times I’d been proved wrong in just a matter of weeks, I should’ve known I was by no means prepared for what he had to say.
Not by a long shot.
Looking at the screen, I confirmed Aaron’s message. I told myself I’d just peek at the text without reading it all, but then it started with pictures. Four of them. One being an electronic receipt. Three being images so explicit my stomach instantly turned and I wanted to smash my phone onto the floor. I should have too, but I chose instead to torture myself further, reading the message Aaron had sent at some point during my flight home.
It was so far from what I expected.
It wasn’t long. And it wasn’t bitter or depressed or laced with insults. It was just facts – cold hard facts that were so impossible to deny that my thumping heart started battering my insides, throttling my brain with dreadful realization, making me feel horrifically bruised all over.
Fuck.
No, no, no, please don’t let it be true.
I pressed my hand hard over my mouth because if I didn’t, I’d scream. Even as I shut myself up, I wanted to bite my own fingers and let it all out because suddenly, the haunting was back. Those old regrets were back, stronger than ever and joined now by a heartbreak worse than the one Aaron subjected me to because this time, the lie had come from the man I was sure had just healed me – the man who was supposed to help me turn the page to my next chapter.
Goddamnit, Mason.
I burst into tears the second I saw him emerge from the jet. Catching them immediately, his smile for me dropped like a brick and his step quickened down the stairs to catch up as I turned and strode furiously away, looking for the path to lead me into the airport and maybe onto another plane where I could fly away from everyone.
“Taylor!”
Mason called behind me, his voice sharp with nothing but concern. Appropriate, considering my anguish had only to do with him – and not just my anguish in this moment but every moment I’d experienced in the past two years. It was all on him.
“Taylor, stop! Where are you going?”
“Far away from you,” I replied between my teeth.
“What are you talking about? Hey!” His footsteps closed in on me. “Taylor!” He caught my arm and spun me around to face him, the tip of his nose red from the cold, his eyes ablaze as he studied me urgently
. “What the hell is going on?” he demanded, the fog of his breath dancing in the frigid air. “Tell me, Taylor!”
“You tell me!” I hissed, jerking my arm out of his grip, my frantic eyes searching his face for something I’d missed – some sign of deceit that I’d just blissfully ignored. But there was nothing. He was still breathtaking and beautiful and it only made the hurt a million times worse. “You know what, Mason – fine. I’ll tell you since clearly, you have some issues with honesty!” His jaw went tight and when he didn’t protest, I knew I was onto something. “It wasn’t Aaron that night,” I whispered, watching all forms of expression fall from Mason’s face. Damn it. I had all the evidence in my hands but it wasn’t till he looked at me with shame that I knew it was true. “You know what night I’m talking about. He said he was going to cheat on me. I tried to track him down all over the city and I couldn’t find him or stop him so I found Sofia and we drank till I could forget it. And I made myself so sick she got scared and she needed someone to come help. I thought it was him – for two fucking years, I knew in my heart that Aaron didn’t cheat on me that night because instead, he came to save me. Because he loved me. I was in so much pain that night and I was so goddamned stupid for drinking that much, but I thought it was somehow worth it because of how Aaron came to prove himself to me. I thought it was worth it for how much stronger we came back as a couple after that night,” I cried, my tears freezing against my cheeks as the brutal winds whipped my hair against my face. It felt like glass slicing my skin but I paid it no mind as my eyes burned like fire into Mason’s. “But it wasn’t him that night, was it?” My teeth rattled in my skull as I stared at Mason shaking his head. “Just fucking say it, Mason!”
“It was me.”
My shoulders crashed as I cried hard, wanting so badly to crumple to the ground. Mason reached out for me but I pushed him away, sobbing as I thought about how my gut feeling was right. Completely and utterly right. I hadn’t felt good about getting back with Aaron after the break because I shouldn’t have. He did cheat on me that night. He did have sex with Whitney Decker. And it wasn’t even just once. The texts he’d just sent me included a picture for every round they went for, and they drove his message home with a confirmation of his checkin and checkout times at the hotel where they’d gotten a room. Worse than that, the pictures were all screenshots from Whitney’s phone. He hadn’t even looked at his own that night – hadn’t even known I was in trouble at the bar till he saw all the missed texts and voicemails from Sofia.
