“Damn these things to hell,” he groaned before getting off the loveseat.
I rested my hand on his lower back, suppressing a smile. He was too adorable when he was grumpy. He said goodbye to Veronica, and she gave him a huge hug.
“It was amazing meeting you,” she said.
“You too,” he replied. “I have a feeling this won’t be the last time we see each other.”
His words touched my heart, and yeah made me all mushy and shit. He knew how close me and V were, and he respected that. I wanted him to be included in all aspects of my life—career, friendships, and everything in between.
“I miss you already, Corby,” Veronica said, hugging me. “I’ll let you know when my plane lands tomorrow.”
I guided Hunter back to our room because he was still pretty drunk, and I hated how I kept checking our surroundings to make sure no one was around. He deserved more than what I could give him at the moment, but I’d make it up to him one day.
Once we were in our room, I stripped him out of his clothes and put him in bed. Lying beside him, I pulled him to my chest and held him. I moved my hands through his brown hair, loving the short waves that were becoming more apparent the longer he went without cutting it.
He snuggled against my neck, finding his favorite spot. “Cor?” he asked in a sleepy voice. “Sorry I was a sourpuss about Veronica. She’s nice. I like her.”
A sourpuss. I grinned.
“It’s okay, Hunt,” I said, still brushing my fingers through his hair.
“Cor?” he asked again, cuddling more against me. “I love you.”
Fuck he was too cute, and maybe it was because I was a little buzzed and sleepy, or maybe it was just because I was in love, but I tilted his chin up and softly kissed him, fighting the surge of emotion trying to spill out.
“I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is that not strange?” I said, quoting another scene from Much Ado About Nothing, one said by Benedick. If Hunter could quote the good ol’ Shakespeare, so could I. That was the one play, other than Romeo and Juliet, that I knew a lot of.
“Benedick had a good way with words,” Hunter pointed out, laying his arm over my stomach.
“Yeah. I’m not as awesome as him and not nearly as poetic, but here are some words from me.” I moved my hand to his back and glided my fingertips up and down his spine. “I never stopped loving you. Even after one year passed and then two. Five more years and all the way up until I saw you again in that hospital waiting room…I loved you. And I always will.”
Hunter didn’t respond. Then I heard his soft snores and knew he was out like a light.
I tightened my hold on him, feeling both afraid and like I could rule the world. Sad but also happy. All differing and conflicting emotions that didn’t quite make sense.
But love never did.
***
When two days passed and I hadn’t heard anything else from Will, I relaxed and put it out of my mind. He was all talk and no action. Hunter and I were enjoying our mini-vacation for Spring Break, and I didn’t like wasting time worrying over William and all his bullshit.
That Thursday, we were at the beach. Hunter had loved Cape Florida so much that we decided to go back to spend the day. We’d only gotten to enjoy it a little when I had my photoshoot, so it was nice being able to be there without all the hassle.
The warm, but not too hot, temperature made it the perfect beach weather.
After swimming for a while, Hunter and I laid out a beach towel and were soaking up some sun. We’d stopped at the grocery store and bought an ice chest, bags of chips, and some stuff to make sandwiches, and I grabbed a Gatorade.
“Want one?” I asked.
Hunter lay on his back, wearing his sunglasses, and he didn’t answer me. He was either sleeping, ignoring me, or he hadn’t heard me. Being the devil I was, I got a piece of ice from the cooler and tossed it on his bare chest.
“What the hell?” he exclaimed, sitting up and lifting his shades to glare at me. “Do you want an ass whoopin’?”
“Oh, I’d like to see you try,” I said, smirking at his challenging tone.
For that moment, I forgot I wasn’t allowed to be myself. I forgot about hiding and keeping my love for Hunter from the world.
I lunged at him and seconds later, we were in a wrestling match on the warm sand, laughing and grunting as we tried to get the upper hand on each other. Damn, he’d become strong. It wasn’t as easy to beat him anymore. He flipped me to my back and tried to pin me down, but I twisted his arm, causing him to lose his grip.
“It’s not fair,” he said, trying to regain his hold on me. “You being ambidextrous sucks.”
“Why?” I rolled him over to his back and pushed his arms into the sand above his head. “Because you still can’t beat me?”
He stared up at me, panting as he fought to catch a breath. “You’re insufferable.”
When I felt him grow hard beneath me, I snapped to my senses. I quickly rolled off him and checked our surroundings. No one seemed to be around with the exception of a family I’d seen exploring the lighthouse earlier.
Hunter sat up and looked out over the water. His saddened expression told me his thoughts without him having to voice them.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He shrugged but didn’t say anything. He stood and went back into the water.
I didn’t follow him, sensing he wanted to be alone. I watched him, though, feeling a pining deep in my chest—one that craved to run up and pull him into my arms, to kiss him as the tide rolled in around us.
I almost said fuck it and did it anyway. But then fear took over, keeping me in place. Keeping me from living my best life.
After another hour in the sun, we were both feeling drained and decided to pack up and leave. The drive back to the hotel was a quiet one, mostly because what we wanted to discuss couldn’t be said in front of the driver. When we were back in our room, however, I crushed my lips to his, holding the back of his neck and guiding him backward to the bed.
Hunter moaned against me before swirling his tongue with mine.
“Wait,” he said, pulling back. “We should talk.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, running my nose up the side of his neck before sucking on his earlobe. My dick filled, and I grabbed Hunter’s ass, moving my hips into his. “I just want to make love to you and forget about the world.”
Hunter’s dark eyes flickered to mine, and he leaned forward, softly kissing me. One soft kiss turned to two, before we fell back on the mattress.
I ran my hand under his tank top, tracing the lines of muscle on his abdomen, and he glided his fingertips along my spine.
That’s when my phone started ringing.
I ignored it at first, not giving a fuck about anything except for Hunter. But then it rang a second time. Then, a third.
“Answer it,” Hunter murmured against my mouth. He gently squeezed my ass, which of course made me want to continue ignoring everything else for a while longer. “I’ll still be here when you get off. Then you can get me off.”
I kissed down his throat and grinned at his words. “Oh, baby. I’ll make you scream my name.”
The fifth ringing of my damn phone interrupted our moment, and I growled in frustration. With a huff, I flipped off him and charged toward the beach bag that had my phone tucked into the side pocket. A quick glance at my screen showed one call was from Austin and the rest were from Jennifer.
“Hey, what’s up, Jen?” I answered, not hiding my irritation at all.
“What’s the point of having a phone, Corbin, if you don’t answer it?” she spat back, reminding me why I hired her as my agent in the first place. She didn’t really take my shit. “First thing I need to know: is it just a rumor or is it the truth? Second, if it’s the truth, why didn’t you at least tell me about it? It seems like a publicity stunt, but these things spread like wildfire and—”
“Whoa, slow the fuck down,” I interjected,
suddenly feeling anxious at hearing her panicked tone. “What’s going on?”
“Ah, shit, you haven’t even seen.” She sighed, and I could just see her pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Seen what?”
Hunter got off the bed and neared me. He looked worried, which was telling of how I must have looked. He put his hand on my back, running soothing circles over my shoulder blades.
“Go to any social media site, and you’ll find it,” Jennifer answered, not sounding happy about it. “You’re already trending.”
“Cor?” Hunter searched my face. “Fuck, you’re pale. What’s wrong?”
“Can you pull up Twitter?” I asked in a voice that didn’t even sound like me. It felt like a boulder was slowly crushing my chest, and my breathing became labored.
I had a good idea of what the news was, and I was close to a fucking panic attack.
Hunter—still looking worried—nodded and got out his phone. He went to the app and was quiet as he scrolled through the news. Then, he froze, and with a widened gaze, he looked back at me. His mouth opened like he was about to say something, but he snapped it shut and just handed me his phone.
With a shaking hand, I grabbed his phone and read:
Corbin Taylor, the gay quarterback!
Star quarterback and model outed!
Taylor likes balls on and off the field.
Post after post talked about it, all with witty headlines. Other posts were from people following the news, all using #GayInProFootball. Some mocked the situation, some supported me, and others spewed hatred.
I felt sick as I scrolled through them all, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I tossed Hunter’s phone on the bed and ran to the bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time before I puked.
“Corbin?” Jennifer said in my ear. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll take care of this. Say it’s just a rumor and nothing more. From what I’ve seen, there’s no proof or anything. Just a lot of he-said she-said crap.”
“Where did it start?” I finally asked, standing up and walking to the sink. I washed my hands—which wouldn’t stop shaking—and wiped my mouth.
“The source is anonymous,” she answered. “One of the gossip magazines published it front page this morning, and since then, it’s just blown up. The article mentioned that the next issue will have the full story. But like I said, it could just be a gimmick to draw attention to their shitty magazine.”
“It’s the truth,” I said, feeling like I was going to be sick again. I fought it, though. Hunter stood in the doorway, looking just as anxious as I felt. “Fuck. I don’t know what to do. I know who did this, but I don’t know how far he plans to go with it.”
So that was what William was warning me about a few days before. The bastard had been taunting me with it.
“Okay,” Jennifer said, now calmer than before. Probably because she’d picked up on my stress. “I need you to tell me everything. Who, what, when, whatever. Got it? And then we’ll figure out how to go about this.”
I agreed and started talking. Hunter’s hand on my back helped me a lot, and I found myself leaning more against him as I told Jennifer everything.
It didn’t go unnoticed how Hunter intently watched me as I talked about William—something I’d never told him. As far as he’d known, I hadn’t been involved with anyone.
And what a fucking way to tell him.
I left out the more intimate details, wanting to tell them directly to Hunter later if he wanted to know. But I admitted how long I’d been with Will, that it wasn’t serious on my part, and how I’d ended things with him back in January.
Once I got off the phone with Jen, I felt like the walls were closing in on me. Crazy how everything could just go to shit in a matter of hours. My private life was exposed, and I was both pissed the fuck off and stressed out about what it meant for my career going forward.
I hated that someone’s sexuality was such a big freaking spectacle. It never made headlines when a celebrity was straight, so why the hell should it when they were gay or bi? What angered me beyond words too, was that it hadn’t been my decision. That I’d been outed before I was ready.
Needing fresh air, I went out onto the balcony and deeply inhaled, held the breath for a few beats, and then slowly exhaled.
I looked at the world below me, the people on the beach who were laughing and having a great time, the ones getting into their cars to go out to eat or to return home, and the ones just walking down the shoreline, hand in hand without a worry.
How was it that everyone was going about their day, when I’d just had my whole life flipped on its axis?
Chapter 23
Hunter
I’d never seen Corbin like that before; so quiet and in his head. He was out on the balcony, standing near the rail and staring out over the ocean. After an hour or so, he moved to the lounge chair, but he didn’t talk to me.
I was still trying to process it all too, but for different reasons.
I didn’t care that he’d been in a relationship with some guy before going back to Willow. Over the years, I’d had some flings here and there too. What hurt was that he hadn’t told me about this William guy. He probably didn’t want to upset me—because let’s face it, I did have jealousy tendencies—so I couldn’t really blame him for keeping it quiet.
But it still hurt.
“We should eat dinner,” I said, breaking our two hour long silence. “It’s getting late.”
“I’m not hungry,” Corbin said in a flat tone.
I got on my knees in front of his chair and looked up at him. The setting sun gave his dark blond hair an orange glow, and his gray eyes appeared darker amongst the flecks of blue, like a dark sky behind stormy waters.
“What am I gonna do, Hunt?” he asked in a voice that was no longer detached but now shaking with his emotion. “Other than my fear of what would happen to my career if I came out, the other thing that held me back all these years was that I didn’t want to be known for my sexuality. So many athletes make headlines because of it, become even more famous sometimes, but all for the wrong reasons. I want my hard work to be what puts me in the spotlight. Not because I fuck men.”
I understood where he was coming from. When I first came out, everyone looked at me differently too. And I was a nobody.
Corbin had it way worse. The reveal of his sexuality would be the one thing about him that anyone talked about now, and that wasn’t right. He was a damn amazing athlete, but if seeing it happen to other celebrities was anything to go by, hardly anyone would discuss his career as a quarterback and only talk about his sexuality for weeks, maybe months to come.
Paparazzi would be hell-bent on catching a shot of him with a guy so they could post it on all the tabloid covers and every gossip page online. Christian groups would probably start their holier than thou shit and start trying to get him fired by saying they’re going to boycott pro-football or something if he continued to play. I’d seen those same groups try to do that to television networks that portrayed a gay character, so I wouldn’t put it past them to do that with the sports industry too.
“I’m going to order room service,” I said, despite his objection.
I called down to the restaurant and ordered food: medium cooked steaks, baked potatoes, dinner rolls, and beer. Maybe carbs would help Corbin feel better. I sure as hell knew they did that for me.
We didn’t say much as we ate the steaks, but I kept looking at him.
“I’m okay,” he said in a way that hinted at the opposite. “Really.”
“You know you can sue this William guy, right?” I pointed out. “I don’t know a lot about the law, but when you were sitting on the balcony earlier, I did some research on my phone. There’s a thing called a private facts claim, and sexuality is covered under it. You just have to prove that—”
“I don’t want to take him to court over it,” Corbin interrupted, shaking his head. He finished chewing his bite of steak before washing it do
wn with some beer. “That won’t make it go away. Once it’s out, it’s out. Making a huge legal scene will just give it that much more attention. And Will loves attention.” He put his face in his hands before scooting his chair back and standing up. He paced the room before lashing out and punching the bathroom door. “Fuck! I was so fucking stupid!”
“Cor!” I went over and grabbed his arms, trying to prevent him from going through another punching fit. I’d never seen him so out of control before. To be honest, it was a little intimidating. “Calm down.”
“He was a journalist!” Corbin growled and shrugged out of my hold. He was less aggressive, though, now that I was not even a foot from him. “When I met him, I knew he worked for some bullshit gossip column. He said he was the person that got dirt on celebrities and all of that shit. That should’ve been a red flag for me, but it wasn’t. I was just happy to find a guy who was okay with keeping our hooking up private. Well, so fucking much for privacy, huh?”
Not knowing what else to do, I brought him to my chest, hoping that being held would help alleviate some of his anger. I held the back of his head with one hand and had the other at his lower back.
Corbin pushed his face against my neck and his arms slowly came around my waist. When his body began to tremble and a soft cry reached my ears, my heart broke. I kissed the side of his head, down his cheek and jaw, and down to the top of his shoulder.
“It shouldn’t have been like this,” he said, tightening his hold on me.
“I know.” I pet his hair, hating how useless I felt. Corbin was hurting and there was nothing I could do to make it better. “We’ll get through it together, okay?”
He nodded before burying his face more into my neck. Hot tears dripped on my collar.
I wished I could just kiss his pain away, but it wasn’t that easy. Sex didn’t solve everything. And with him so upset, sex was the farthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to hold him, and if it were possible to take all of his pain onto myself, I would in a heartbeat.
“I don’t think I can go back,” Corbin whispered after several minutes. “I can resign from the Raptors this week. That’ll give them enough time to train my backup and get everything in order before the season starts. I’ll just stay with you in Willow. I’ll go back to Kansas City to pack up my things and work out the whole moving thing, but then I’m done.”
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