Talk about being dropped in the middle of a nightmare before Christmas…. She shifted in her seat. Since arriving in Portland earlier today, she’d been forced to confront the worst moments of her life over and over again.
“Your adoring crowd awaits,” a glowing and very pregnant Hannah teased.
Carly forced a smile. She didn’t want to leave the comfort of this table, but she couldn’t hide behind her sister-in-law’s family for the next two weeks. Hannah was obviously excited. And Carly wanted her sister-in-law to be happy.
Fortified by a serving of shepherd’s pie and a salad topped with raspberry vinaigrette, she stood. Working her way through the jam-packed restaurant, she received hugs while having the same conversation over and over again.
Yes, she lived in Philadelphia now.
No, she wasn’t married yet.
Yes, it had been a long time.
She missed Iain, too.
Carly could hardly breathe as she spoke. Facing her demons was one thing, but this…She plodded through the way she had six years ago at her brother’s funeral and then at Iain’s, gritting her teeth and smiling. This time, however, the answers got easier to say the fifth time around. They became automatic by the tenth. Progress? Carly hoped so.
She looked around the room once more. She’d expected to see Jacob at some point this evening. This was his brewing company. His pub. Where was he on such a crowded Wednesday night? She brushed aside a twinge of disappointment.
It wasn’t easy to do. If Jacob were here, he would make this not such an ordeal. He would make her feel normal, the way he had at the house, and comfortable.
After what seemed like hours but was really only one, Carly reached the spot where she’d begun. The dinner plates had been cleared from the knotty pine table. A pitcher of beer had joined the kids’ and Hannah’s pitcher of root beer. A slice of half-eaten mud pie and five spoons sat between Hannah and Garrett.
They were sharing. Happy.
There was no reason for Carly to be here.
And no one for her to be with.
She swallowed the pint-size lump in her throat and sat opposite them. “Hey, you lovebirds. Where are the kids?”
“With Jake,” Hannah said.
So he was here after all. “I didn’t notice him.”
“He’s been here the entire time.”
And he hadn’t come over to say hello? At least, not until she left the table.
Ouch.
Carly rested her elbows on the table and supported her chin with her hands. Making the rounds down memory lane had drained her mentally and physically. The last thing she needed to worry about was Jacob Porter. “Sorry that took so long,” she said. “I can’t believe all the people I know who are here tonight. Most of the local OMSAR members, too.”
“Word’s out you’re back in town.” Garrett looked at Hannah. “Though I can’t imagine who would have told them already.”
“I may have mentioned it to a few people,” said a sheepish Hannah.
“That’s a good one, my beautiful wife.” Garrett laughed. “Since your definition of a few ranges from two to two hundred.”
“I’m sorry,” Hannah said.
Carly bit back a sigh. She didn’t want Hannah to feel bad. Besides, if Carly got all the hard stuff over with her first day in town, she could breeze through the rest of the trip. “Don’t apologize. Now I won’t have to search people out since I saw them all here tonight.”
Hannah tucked her shiny, long, auburn hair behind her ears. “That’s the spirit.”
“She’s being a good sport, my dear.” With a smile, Garrett poured a pint from the pitcher containing a deep, amber-colored beer. He slid the glass in front of Carly. “Here. You earned this.”
“Thanks.” She appreciated Garrett’s thoughtfulness, as well as the way he honored Hannah’s past, making sure Nick’s memory stayed alive with the kids and accepting Carly as a part of their family. “I really need this.”
“Yes, you do.” Hannah’s green eyes danced. “It’s Nick’s Winter Ale.”
Carly should have known. A jumble of emotions ran through, but the biggest one—pride—made her raise her glass. “To Nick.”
“Hear, hear.” Garrett joined in the toast. “To the brew-master extraordinaire.”
“And Iain,” Hannah added.
Carly took a sip. She wanted to remain impartial, to judge the beer on its own merits, to…
Delicious. Refreshing. Absolutely perfect.
The velvety smooth ale struck a perfect balance between the malt and hops. Full-bodied with a hint of cinnamon. She had never tasted something so yummy. Of course, Carly wouldn’t have expected any less from her big brother.
“Extraordinaire is right.” Her smile couldn’t begin to match the joy in her heart at Nick’s accomplishment. “An awarding-winning winter ale if I ever tasted one.”
Two hands rested on her shoulders. Large hands. Male hands.
Jacob.
No need to turn around and see he was the one standing behind her. She’d recognize the warmth of his touch and his familiar scent anywhere, even in a crammed brewpub with all the noise, sights and smells competing for attention.
He gave a gentle squeeze, but didn’t move his hands away.
The gesture, no doubt meant to be platonic, sent unexpected tingles shooting out from the point of contact. Carly gulped. She hadn’t experienced tingles in…years.
No big deal.
“From your lips to the judges’ scores,” Jacob said.
She glanced up at him. “It’s delicious.”
His gaze met hers. “I’m happy you like it.”
“My new favorite.”
“Mine, too. Especially if it keeps that big smile on your face.”
The way he stared at her, as if she were the only woman in the room, made Carly’s insides clench. Her temperature shot up. She looked away.
“Thanks for putting the beer into production.” She watched a bead of moisture run down her glass. “It means…a lot.”
“I know.”
Carly got the feeling he knew a little too much. She took another swig of her beer, but the liquid did nothing to cool her off or help her relax.
So what if he still had his hands on her shoulders?
No big deal.
He might still be a total hottie, but she wasn’t a schoolgirl with a crush on her brother’s best friend. No reason to freak out.
Jacob removed his hands. Thank goodness. Carly blew out a puff of air.
As he sat on the bench next to her, his thigh brushed hers. More tingles and a burst of heat erupted where he’d touched her. She scooted away. “Where are the kids?”
“In my office playing cards,” he said. “They finished their ice cream sundaes and were still hungry so I gave them cookies.”
Hannah tsked. “You spoil them, Jake.”
“I indulge them,” he countered. “A big difference.”
His easy grin made him look younger and so carefree. Compared to him, Carly felt old and troubled.
Sure, she was home for the first time in years surrounded by family and old friends. Laughter and cheers filled the air, a good time being had by all the smiling faces. But something was missing.
Not something, Carly realized.
Nick and Iain.
She looked across the table at Hannah, resting her head on Garrett’s shoulder. How did she handle this? Not just evenings like this, but every night, every day, raising Nick’s kids in his house, in his hometown where memories lay waiting around every corner.
Somehow Hannah had found the hope and the courage to love again. And had made her peace with the past.
Not Carly.
She had barely made it through dinner tonight.
She stared at her bare hands. There hadn’t been an engagement ring on her finger for years—never a wedding band like Hannah had worn. And yet…
Carly glanced sideways at Jacob, her cheeks warming. She almost felt guilty for being
so aware of the man sitting next to her. It seemed strange to be feeling this way, for reacting to his nearness and his touch. This was where Iain had tended bar and she waited tables. Where they would have celebrated their rehearsal dinner had he made it down the mountain.
But he hadn’t made it down. And she hadn’t died up there with him even though it had felt like that at the time.
Losing him and Nick had hurt so bad.
She had wanted only to forget, but perhaps it was time to follow Hannah’s example and remember.
Instead of avoiding the past, Carly could try to embrace it. Maybe then she could finally put the pieces of her heart back together and learn to love…again.
Chasing a woman was never a good idea.
It ranked right up there with “Don’t talk back to your father” and “Don’t glissade down a mountain wearing crampons.”
The next day, Jake’s feet crunched through the ice-crusted snow covering the sidewalk.
“Carly,” he yelled.
No response.
He could see her bright purple jacket as she paused outside Wickett’s Pharmacy.
That was what had caught his eye. The purple jacket.
Jake had been standing by his office window—talking back to his dad, actually—when she hurried by on the sidewalk and he saw her cell phone drop from her pocket.
Returning it seemed like a good idea. A good deed. It sure beat arguing with the formidable Van Porter over his desire to review the brewery’s most recent financial statement.
Except now Jake was chasing after Carly Bishop.
Running, not chasing.
“Carly,” he called again.
She stopped and turned. “Jacob?”
He caught up to her. “Why do you keep calling me that?”
“Because Nick once told me you didn’t like it.”
“And here I was being a nice guy and returning this to you.” He waved the slim, red rectangular gadget in the air. “Maybe I’ll keep it.”
“My phone?” She reached for it, but he raised the phone over his head. “No fair.”
“Who said anything about playing fair. Finders keepers—”
She made a jump for the phone, but missed.
“Nice try.”
Carly pursed her lips. “In case you forgot, Jacob, you and Nick used to tease me unmercifully and order me around like I was your maid or something. Calling you by your full name was my small way of getting back at you.”
“What did you do to Nick?” Jake asked.
“I turned all his underwear pink.”
“That wasn’t very nice.”
“The two of you following me on my first date with Iain and sitting behind us at the movies heckling wasn’t nice, either.”
He laughed, remembering. Nick hadn’t trusted any guy with Carly. “We may have been a little rough on you.”
“A little?”
“Okay a lot.” He placed the phone on the palm of her gloved hand. “I found this on the sidewalk outside the pizza parlor.”
“Thanks. I had no idea I dropped it. Must be my lucky day.”
His, too.
Carly looked great in her parka, jeans and boots, the way she had at the brewpub. When she had stared up at him with those warm, clear hazel eyes of hers and smiled, he felt as if he’d fallen into a deep crevasse. Climbing out hadn’t even entered his mind.
“Thanks, too, for dropping off the beer and the labels.” Carly tucked the phone into her pocket, but this time she zipped it closed. “The kids were sorry they missed you.”
Kids, not her. Not that Jake expected her to miss him.
“Did you have fun sledding?” he asked.
“A lot of fun. Though Kendall and Austin like to go so fast. I was sure I’d have to break out the Band-Aids.”
An SUV drove past and honked. Mr. Freeman, who owned the general store. Jake and Carly both waved.
“You used to go pretty fast yourself,” Jake said.
Carly grinned. “I was faster than you and Nick.”
“We let you think that.”
Her mouth gaped as a group of snowboarders walked around them. “You did not.”
“We didn’t,” he admitted. “But we told ourselves we did.”
Her smile returned.
Good, he thought. She needed to smile more.
A comfortable silence settled between them, but the rhythm and sounds of the hamlet continued.
Down the sidewalk, Muffy Stevens knocked icicles off the awning in front of the coffeehouse. A truck driver delivered boxes of produce to the corner café. Laughing skiers entered a local inn.
“No matter how some things change,” Carly said finally, “other things stay the same. Same locals. Even the tourists.”
“And my dad.”
Sympathy filled her eyes. “Still having trouble with him?”
“Like you said, some things don’t change.” Jake glanced across the street at the brewpub. “He’s been retired for two years, but still wants to control things at the brewery. He doesn’t think I have it in me to take the business to the next level.”
Now why the hell had he told her that?
Jake rocked back on his heels.
“It’s got to be hard for him to let go,” she said. “To move on.”
“Yeah, must be.”
Blond hair stuck out from her wool ski hat. Jake fought the urge to push the strands back under. He stuck his hands in his pockets instead.
Was it time to move on?
Or time—finally—to make his move?
Carly glanced at the town hall’s clock tower. “I’d better get back to Hannah and Garrett’s.”
“Okay.”
But it wasn’t. Not really. Jake didn’t want to say goodbye.
“I’ll let you go, then.” For now, he thought. “But let’s grab dinner sometime.”
Her pretty mouth dropped open. “But—”
“Friday,” he said, as if she hadn’t spoken. “Hannah doesn’t go into the hospital until next week. I’ll pick you up.”
“I—”
“Seven o’clock tomorrow night,” he continued, before she could say no, and left without looking over his shoulder.
Move on.
She needed this. And so did he.
At two-thirty in the morning, Carly sat at the kitchen table with a steaming cup of herbal tea. Snow fell outside the window. The snowplows would be working overtime to keep the roads clear.
She took a sip of the chamomile tea. The box claimed the blend would make the drinker sleepy. She sure hoped so. She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since arriving in Hood Hamlet.
Carly wanted to blame her sleeplessness on the three-hour time difference between the East and West coasts, but she knew that wasn’t the reason behind her restless nights. Every time she turned around the past seemed to collide into the present, from being here with Hannah and her family to walking the streets of Hood Hamlet to reach the post office. Not to mention Jacob…make that Jake…
She hesitated to call their upcoming dinner a date. The word date made her nervous. Besides, he hadn’t given her a chance to say yes or no. She didn’t know what to make of that.
Or…him.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway. Hannah waddled into the kitchen, wearing a turquoise fleece robe that didn’t cover her pregnant belly. “I thought I heard someone get up.”
“Sorry if I woke you.”
“Trust me—” Hannah patted her tummy “—I wasn’t sleeping. This little jelly bean started kicking as soon as I lay down and hasn’t stopped.”
“Want a cup of tea?” Carly asked.
“No, thanks.” Hannah lowered herself into a chair. “If I drink anything, I’ll be going to the bathroom every five minutes instead of every fifteen. I keep reminding myself I wanted to get pregnant again.”
“The end result will be worth it,” Carly said.
“I know, but I have to admit, I’m happy they’re taking this one early. I don’t want to
be birthing a ten-pound baby. Austin was hard enough at nine pounds six ounces.”
She grimaced.
“Don’t worry,” Hannah said. “They make babies cute so you forget what you go through during labor and delivery.”
Carly laughed. “So what’s on today’s agenda?”
“I want to finish up the last batch of Christmas cards, get them in the mail and do some shopping if the roads are clear. I wanted to be finished with all the holiday stuff by now, but it hasn’t happened.”
Carly did her holiday shopping in September before any of the red and green decorations hit the stores and carols played nonstop. She wasn’t particularly organized, but Christmas had become so entwined with the accident she wanted no part of it. “I can take your cards to the post office.”
If she dropped them into the box outside, she could avoid any more reminders of the holly-jolly season.
“That would be great. But I’m out of Christmas stamps. Would you mind—?”
She drew a deep breath. “No problem.” So, she’d have to actually go into the post office. It wasn’t as if Hannah had asked her to brave the mall with the kids or do any of those other things she avoided doing in December. All Carly had to do was buy stamps. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks.” The only light in the kitchen was from the stove, but Hannah’s smile lit up her face. “That will be a big help. I don’t have the energy to stand in line. Not to mention I’m as big as a mail truck.”
“No, you’re not.” Carly wrapped her cold fingers around her warm cup. “Just tell me what needs to be done. That’s why I’m here.”
“How is being back here going for you?” Hannah asked.
Carly took another sip of tea, the warm liquid coating her dry throat. “Fine.”
“Fine as in everything’s great or fine as in not really, but I don’t want to bother you?”
“Something in the middle of those two.”
Hannah rubbed her lower back. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Not bad, it’s just being back here has been a little…strange.” Carly stared into her cup of herbal tea. “I look around and I can’t help but wonder…”
Rescued by the Magic of Christmas Page 4
