The kids. Not just Jake. Carly could do that. She appreciated the invitation. Besides, knowing Jake, he would be off skiing himself.
“Thanks, I’d love to go.” She remembered her Saturday lessons when she’d been a kid. “I haven’t been to Ski Bowl in years.”
Jake hesitated. “The lessons aren’t at Ski Bowl.”
Her heart dropped. “Timberline?”
He nodded, his eyes serious.
“I can’t go.”
“I understand, Carly.” Compassion filled his voice. “But remember what you said at dinner. About looking back, but still moving forward.”
“This is different.” She took a deep breath. “You’re not asking me to look back. You want me to stand in the one place where my dreams began and ended.”
“Maybe this is something you need to do.”
Carly couldn’t go back there. “Maybe it’s not.”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
She stared at her feet. “I don’t know.”
Jake raised her chin with his fingertip. “I do.”
Carly couldn’t believe she was standing at the edge of one of Timberline’s freestyle terrains with an old pair of snowshoes strapped to her feet. Snow flurries fell from the gray sky, but the temperature didn’t seem that cold. What gave her the shivers was the summit behind her. If not for the kids, she could have never done this. The kids and…well, Jake.
He stood next to her and gave a thumbs-up sign to Kendall.
Carly readied her camera to catch the next run. She concentrated on the kids and picture taking. Anything to keep her attention focused down the hill.
The top of Mount Hood held too many memories, both good and bad. Dealing with the bright Christmas decorations, the sparking lights on trees and the overflowing holiday cheer inside the Wy’East day lounge had been difficult enough when they’d dropped the kids off for their ski lesson. Carly couldn’t handle seeing the summit this close up, too.
Jake adjusted his sunglasses. “We can grab skis and hit the slopes ourselves.”
And get even closer to the top. No way. “Thanks, but I’ll stick to snowshoes. You go ski.”
“I’d rather stay here with you.”
She was grateful for his understanding how hard being here was for her, but a part of her—the same one as last night—wished he would leave her alone. Of course, the other part wished he wanted to be with, well, her.
Face it. He’d been on her mind when she’d closed her eyes last night and opened them this morning. She couldn’t help herself. The guy was a total babe magnet, drawing second and third glances from females of all ages on the slopes, including herself.
Who could blame any woman for checking him out? In his red soft shell, black pants and a red patterned ski cap, he looked as if he’d taken a break from a photo shoot or stepped off the page of a ski magazine.
A good thing his sunglasses hid his eyes. Toss in those pretty baby blues and he’d be pretty darn irresistible.
To the other women, that was.
Not her.
Kendall, dressed in black bibs and a polka-dotted blue parka, waved at them. With a big smile on her face, she lowered her goggles from the top of her sticker-covered pink helmet.
“Is this how you spend every Saturday?” Carly snapped a picture. “Watching the kids in ski school?”
“Nope. Garrett usually brings them, but with the baby coming I thought he and Hannah could use some alone time.”
Carly stared at Jake in amazement. “You’re too good to be true.”
A wry grin formed on his face. “I know a few women who would disagree with that statement.”
“Only a few?”
He laughed. “The kids have really progressed with their skiing.”
“Don’t change the subject,” Carly said, curious about the women in Jake’s life. “We’re friends. Friends share things, right?”
He shrugged.
“Come on.”
“There’s not much to say except most of the women I date are looking for more than a Saturday night date.”
“What do they want?”
“A wedding date. A wedding date of their own,” he clarified. “Since marriage isn’t something I’m interested in, they aren’t too happy when I won’t get serious with them.”
“Serious?”
“Make a commitment.”
“So have you caught up to Sean Hughes with the number of hearts you’ve broken?” Carly teased.
“Nope, Sean still holds that record. I’m not even close to him.”
“Not yet anyway.”
“Though I may be able to catch up a little now that Sean’s heart has been spoken for.”
“Who’s the lucky lady?” she asked. “A gorgeous snowboard model?”
“Close,” Jake said. “A beautiful Siberian husky named Denali.”
“I can’t believe Mr. I-don’t-let-anything-tie-me-down has a dog.”
“Believe it.” Jake pointed to the kids. “Kendall’s turn.”
As her niece sped toward a ramp, Carly held her breath and raised her digital camera. No wonder Hannah didn’t like watching the kids ski. Whether they were skiing down a run or doing jumps, it was nerve-racking.
Kendall flew into the air, executed a twist and landed solidly as Carly took a picture.
Carly exhaled and clapped. “She is so much like Nick.”
“Told ya,” Jake said.
“You did, but Kendall reminds me of someone else, too.”
“Who is that?”
“You,” she said. “I know the kids have a stepfather now, but you have done an amazing job with them.”
“Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
“You mean a lot to Kendall and Austin. They talk about you all the time.”
“Maybe now, but they’re young. Soon they’ll be teenagers and won’t be so keen on spending time with their Uncle Jake.”
“I doubt that.”
“They are growing up so fast.”
“I know.” Carly watched Kendall talk to her instructor. “Remember when you and Nick took Kendall skiing for the first time?”
Jake smiled. “Hannah wanted to kill us.”
“Kendall was only two.”
“She did great,” he said. “But Hannah wouldn’t let me take her back out skiing. I had to wait until she started kindergarten. Austin, too.”
Austin skied down another run with his class. The kid liked to go straight and fast. No fancy jumps or unnecessary turns for him. She aimed the camera at him. “Doesn’t seem to have hurt her. Or Austin.”
“Guess not.” Jake’s tone was far from indifferent.
“But you wanted them on skis,” she said.
He focused on Austin, who had stopped to wait for the rest of the class. “It’s what Nick would have wanted.”
“And that’s why you’ve gone above and beyond for Hannah and the kids all these years.” It wasn’t a question because Carly already knew the answer. “You’ve taught the kids about the outdoors. You introduced Hannah to Garrett. You’ve made sure what Nick would have wanted for them came true.”
Jake shrugged. “I did what any best friend would do. Nick would have done the same for me.”
Except Jake didn’t have a wife and two kids. He didn’t even have a pet. Just a father who never thought he was good enough.
“You’re a good friend, Jake Porter.”
“Sometimes.” He pulled her hat down over her eyes. “Sometimes, not. I haven’t been that good a friend to you over the years.”
She pushed up her hat so she could see. “I’m the one who left and never came back.”
“You had good reason,” he said. “But your heart never really left Hood Hamlet. You can take the girl from the mountains, but you can’t take the mountain out of the girl.”
“I’m not exactly a girl anymore.”
“Even eighty-year-old women still have a girl inside them. And before you ask, my grandmother told me that.”
“Gr
andmas know everything.”
“Mine thought so.”
The two ski classes continued down their respective runs until the kids disappeared down the hill. Carly shivered, fighting a chill. She raised the collar of her jacket.
“The temperature dropped. Let’s grab a hot chocolate in the lodge,” Jake said. “The kids still have another hour of ski school.”
“Sounds good.”
In the bar on the second floor of Timberline Lodge, light streamed through the tall windows. Carly sat on a love seat opposite Jake, her huge mug of cocoa on the coffee table between them. They were the only two customers. “This really hits the spot.”
As it always had in the past.
Some things never changed. Timberline Lodge was one of them. The historic building’s timber and stone construction had a very northwest feel. The arts-and-crafts decor was comfortable and understated. But her favorite part had always been the view of the mountain from the Ram’s Head Bar.
Carly tried not to look, but couldn’t help herself. The large windows provided picturesque views of Mount Hood. The summit peeked through the clouds.
“Beautiful,” Jake said.
The glimpse of the snow-covered peak where Iain had proposed and died was bittersweet.
She’d waited here for Iain and Nick to come down that fateful December day. She wasn’t sure where things stood between her and Iain after the fight, and she’d needed to know. So she’d sat, watching the hours tick by until she realized something had to be wrong, terribly wrong, and she’d called the one person who would know what to do—Jake.
“I’m not sure what to think of the mountain even though it’s been six years,” she admitted.
“Sometimes it still feels as if everything happened yesterday.”
“I know.” Carly hadn’t thought anyone else felt like that. “And the what-ifs…”
“Are still hell.”
“They can drive you crazy.”
He looked at the mountain. “If I could do it all over again, I would have climbed with them that day.”
She shuddered. “You might have been killed, too.”
“No, I know I would have made a difference and all three of us would have walked off the mountain together.”
How many times had she dreamed that scenario? Too many to count.
“But I thought I was following my gut instinct by not climbing,” Jake continued. “Instead I was being…”
“What?”
“Selfish.”
The recriminatory tone of his voice clawed at her heart.
“It wasn’t your fault.” She found herself repeating the same words Hannah had said the other night. “I’ve never blamed you for not being with them. Hannah hasn’t, either. I’m happy, relieved, you name it, that you weren’t up there. I don’t know how any of us would have made it through without you.”
“Thanks for that.” He sipped his drink. “What happened was an accident, but knowing that hasn’t gotten rid of all the guilt.”
Carly knew exactly how he felt. She wanted to help him. “Did you ever consider your gut instinct wasn’t wrong? That your decision not to climb wasn’t selfish, but self-preservation?”
He stared out the window at the mountain. “I never thought about it that way.”
She reached across the table and touched his hand. “Maybe you should.”
He nodded.
“Is there anything else that might help you?” she asked.
A beat passed. “You.”
Her heart slammed against her chest. She pulled back her hand even though she wanted to still be touching him. “M-me?”
“Nick and Iain would want you to be happy.”
“I’m…” Not exactly happy. She wasn’t going to lie to Jake. He deserved better than that. “I’m doing okay.”
Which was the truth. Not happy, not great, but okay. Nothing wrong with that.
“You’ve built a life for yourself in Philadelphia, but something seems to be holding you back. Someone. Iain, perhaps.”
She stared into her mug.
“Think about what you said about moving forward,” Jake said. “It’s time for you to get on with your life, Carly. Fall in love, get married and have those kids you always talked about having. That’s what Nick and Iain would have wanted for you to do.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Especially if you won’t let anyone get close to you.”
“Have you been talking to Hannah?” Carly asked.
“She’s worried about you. I am, too.”
“I’m trying.” She appreciated his concern. “You said you felt guilty about what happened. So do I.”
“Why?” Jake asked.
“Because of that terrible fight Iain and I had over the climb. I should have tried harder to make him stay home, then Nick wouldn’t have gone.”
“Iain would have soloed the route.”
“You’re probably right.” Carly took a breath. Iain lived to climb. Nothing would hold him back. Not even her love. She’d often wondered what marriage to someone like that would have been like over the long term. Probably not as wonderful as she’d thought at age twenty-two. “Okay, you’re absolutely right, but Nick wouldn’t have been with him. Hannah would still have her husband. Kendall and Austin, their father. You, your best friend. And me…”
“Your brother.” Jake rose from the love seat opposite Carly and sat next to her. “Looks like both of us have been thinking along the same lines.”
“We probably should have talked about this.”
He placed his arm around her. “At least we’re talking about it now.”
With a nod, she leaned against his shoulder. He felt so warm. Strong. She wanted to soak up his strength. Him. “Hannah told me Nick and Iain made their own choices. No one’s at fault.”
“She’s told me the same thing. Many times.”
“Maybe it’s time we listened to her.”
He nodded.
“Seeing Hannah and Garrett together as a couple and so in love has made me realize there are second chances,” Carly said. “Want to know what’s helped the most?”
“What?” Jake asked.
“Actually a who. You.”
He stared at her for what seemed like forever.
She didn’t know if what she’d said was wrong, but it’s how she felt. He was caring and understanding. Gorgeous and sexy. He had made a difference, and she wanted him to make even more of a difference in her life. Somehow. She moistened her lips. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
A wide smile broke across his face. “Yes, you should have.”
She looked up at him with anticipation. She opened her mouth to speak, but he never gave her a chance to say a word.
His lips covered hers with such tenderness.
He kissed her as if this was the beginning and the end. As if he was afraid to ask for too much, but unable to keep himself from taking more.
She had never felt so special, so cherished, than in this moment.
His kisses heated her from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. Better than rich hot chocolate. Smoother than the dollop of whip cream floating in her mug.
His lips moved over hers gently.
Her heart felt as if it were finally waking up after a restless sleep. Her blood heated and surged through her veins. Desire, long forgotten, made her lean toward him.
Carly loved how his kisses made her feel. She didn’t want the kiss to end.
But slowly he drew back from her. She stared up at him. The longing in his eyes brought tears to hers.
Jake brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “That was better than I imagined it would be.”
Her heart skipped. “You imagined kissing me?”
He stared at her as if she was the last woman on earth. “Once or twice.”
Her throat clogged with emotion. She remembered that one time. “When?”
“A while ago.”
“Before…”
&
nbsp; He nodded. “A long time ago.”
Carly had been right. He had thought about kissing her. But she wasn’t sure how knowing that made her feel. Flattered. Desired.
Unsettled.
She stared out the window, at the mountain as the backdrop to all the most memorable events of her life, and all she could see, all she could think about, was Jake. The past, the present, the future.
His kiss had totally rocked her world.
Carly couldn’t remember Iain’s kiss ever having such an affect on her. She must have forgotten.
Oh, no. How could she forget her fiancé’s kiss?
Sure, she’d kissed other men in the past six years, but not one of them had made her forget Iain. She couldn’t believe it would be Jacob Porter because that complicated…well, everything.
“Jake…”
“Shh.” He placed his finger on her throbbing lips. “It’s okay.”
But Carly knew better. “No, it’s not.”
Jake had always been there. For Hannah. For the kids. For Carly.
She’d just gotten him back in her life. Did she want to risk that? For what? A few toe-curling kisses.
“We’re friends,” she said.
He grinned. “Good friends.”
Her treacherous heart skipped another beat. Oh, no. “Hannah and the kids count on you.”
“So?”
“With the holidays and the baby…” Her voice trailed off. She looked at him, willing him to understand. “I count on you.”
“I’m glad.”
He didn’t get it at all. She tried again. “But what happened…”
“You mean my kissing you.”
As her cheeks warmed, she nodded. “Kissing changes things. Complicates things. I like to keep things simple.”
Simple equaled safe.
“What are you getting at?” Jake asked.
“I like you, Jake. A lot. But maybe it would be better if we stayed just friends. Friends who don’t kiss,” she added in case he still didn’t get it.
From the look on his face, he did.
CHAPTER FIVE
LYING IN BED, Jake heard a ringing in his ears. Bells? He opened his tired eyes. The noise stopped.
Maybe he was imagining things. He felt completely wiped out. Carly’s kiss had burned, branding itself on his lips, his brain and his heart. One kiss shouldn’t have had such an effect on him. Yet thoughts about it and her had kept him awake past midnight.
Rescued by the Magic of Christmas Page 6
