I raked a hand through my hair. “Hope so. I mean, it’s not like I’ve got a contract.”
“But you did borrow money from her.”
“Don’t remind me.” A chill swept through me. “She’ll get her money.”
“From?”
“I know it’s a long shot, but I’m hoping to win the fifty grand for Ride of the Year.” I didn’t want to think about the house in Twentynine Palms. If I sold it, I’d net enough to pay Sandy back, but the memories of Tyler were still too raw. I wasn’t ready to let go yet.
He chuckled. “That’s a gamble.”
I sat cross-legged in the grass. “Tell me about it.”
He changed subjects. “How’re things going with Eugene?”
I smiled broadly. “I can’t wait for you to meet him. He’s the coolest kid. Wait till you hear him play guitar, and he’s smart, and he looks so much like Tyler. You’re going to freak when you see those eyes.” I looked down at my surfboard. “He wasn’t too thrilled to find out his mom lied to him, but we’re easing in to life together. For now, at least, we’re kind of roommates. He’s not too sure about the way I hold his mom’s hand, but he seems to be getting used to it.” I stood up, feeling suddenly energized. I had fallen in love with Eugene. Every time I looked at him, I had to stop myself from staring. He was intelligent, caring, he loved his mother, was intensely dedicated to his music, polite, and helpful around the house. Rosalyn had raised him right.
In the background, I heard the bell from the front door of the Mysto Spot Surf Shop ring. “Hey, buddy, I’ve got to go. Talk to you later.”
I hung up the phone, tucked my surfboard under my arm, sprinted across the street, and joined the other surfers in the lineup at Pleasure Point. I was a man on fire in the ocean that day.
I was not looking forward to my conversation with Sandy. As the early morning fog cleared and I caught wave after glassy wave, I thought about Sandy and her gorgeous circle of friends. I had cared about them. Yes, they paid me, but they had put trust in me. Things were different now. Sex without commitment seemed millions of miles away. I was in love with Rosalyn and I planned on being the only man in her life and she the only woman in mine. My side job was a part of my past. I almost couldn’t believe that Sandy had talked me into her crazy scheme.
But now I had Rosalyn and Eugene.
I ended my surf session a couple hours later. Rosalyn was at work, Eugene was at school, so I had the place to myself. I showered, made myself a breakfast of oatmeal and strong coffee, then sat on the porch swing and called Sandy.
She answered on the first ring. “There you are,” she said. “I’ve been missing you, sexy surfer boy. When are you coming home?”
I cleared my throat. “Hi, Sandy. You got a sec?”
“Of course, babe, what’s up?”
“It doesn’t look like I’m coming back to Encinitas.”
“Why not?”
And I told her the rest of the story. When we’d spoken previously, I’d told her about Rosalyn’s health, but I hadn’t alluded to how much Rosalyn meant to me. This time I told her about Eugene. That part was still unreal to me and my throat constricted when I confessed this secret to her.
“Does this mean you’re quitting?”
I drummed my fingers against the wooden rail of the porch swing. “Yes. Sandy, I love her and want to be with her and our son. And my son … We don’t know how much longer she’s got, and if she doesn’t make it … I’ll be raising him.”
Sandy was silent. “What about my twenty grand?”
I sat up straight. “I told you I’d pay you back, and I will.”
“When?”
I leaned back, rocking the swing harder than intended. “I’ll have your money in a few weeks.” I made up the time frame on the fly. I had no idea when I’d have Sandy’s money.
“Do you really think you can quit on me? Just like that?” I heard her fingers snap.
“Sandy, I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Yes you do. What if I told you that if I didn’t have my money in two weeks, I’d turn you into the police?”
Panic shot through my system. I took a deep breath. “Oh, Sandy, you don’t want to go and do that.” Could she really turn me in? “Don’t forget that you were the one who insisted on paying me.”
She let out a huge sigh. “Jax, I loaned you that money thinking you’d be back in a week or so, that we’d go right back to our routine.”
“Things are different now.”
She laughed. “Not that different. You owe me. Don’t forget, I know things about you. I know where you work.”
I tried turning on the charm. “We’re friends, right? I told you I’d pay you back, and I will. Sandy, you and the girls have been one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Much as I resisted it, you made me feel right at home.”
“We’re friends, yes, but friends watch out for each other. I want my money.” Her voice was incredulous. “So that’s it? You’re really leaving us?”
I stood up, watching one of the local surfers stuff his board into the back of his Chevy. “I need to be here now.”
“Have it your way.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
“I’m serious about the money, Jax. I’m feeling more than a little taken advantage of right now. Two weeks.”
“I know. I’ll get it to you.” And I would. I just didn’t have the slightest idea how.
That night after dinner while Eugene finished his homework, Rosalyn and I strolled along the walkway above Pleasure Point. I told her that I needed to be in Laguna Beach the following day. “Remember the girlfriend I told you about?”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that.”
I stopped walking and held her hands. “I need to break up with her in person.”
Her eyes searched mine. “Were you two living together?”
“No. It’s just that I kind of led her on, let her think we had more than we did.”
“How long were you together?”
“Four months. I thought I could be serious with her.” I gazed into Rosalyn’s big brown eyes. “I owe her this.”
“When will you be back?”
“I’ll leave in the morning and be back by the end of the day.”
When we made love that night, it was slow and sweet. We held on to each other as the room shook from our ecstasy, all the pent up emotions of the years we’d been separated easing their way out of our systems.
When Rosalyn fell asleep, I couldn’t stop staring at her.
I would make things right with Holly and somehow pay Sandy back.
But paramount on my mind was how to save Rosalyn. Meanwhile, I was going to do everything I could to make her life easy. If these were her last months, I vowed they would be happy ones.
Holly
In anticipation of Jax’s visit, I made sure my appointments were done. I arrived home early from work, showered, and even slipped into some especially sexy lingerie: a sheer pair of lavender-colored panties and a matching bra. Then I pulled on jeans and a low-cut tank top, fluffed up my hair, applied my makeup carefully, and tried to remember to breathe. Jax had called the previous evening to tell me he’d leave Santa Cruz around six in the morning, which meant he’d arrive in Laguna Beach around one o’clock. I’d cleaned the house, walked the pups, arranged fresh flowers in a vase, and I even lit a stick of incense. Maybe Stan was right, and I had overreacted to the chilly tone of Jax’s voice on the phone.
As I paced the kitchen, trying to distract myself with the lyrics of the music blasting from my stereo, Matrix and Dinah went into a barking frenzy. My heart hammered in my chest. I turned off the music and raced to the door.
When I opened it, there he was, his tall frame taking up my doorway. He gave me a crooked smile. “Hi, Holly.” He bent down to pet the pups. “And hi you two.” He looked at me expectantly, entered the living room, and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you again. Feels like it’s been forever.” I lea
ned in to him, his powerful arms surrounding me, and inhaled his male musk.
I held his hand. “Come on, let’s sit outside. Want something to drink? I’ve got iced-tea.”
“That’d be fine,” he said, glancing around the room as though seeing it for the first time.
I poured us both tea, and we sat on the lounge chairs, the ocean crashing in the background. I watched Jax carefully. So much for my visions of him pinning me up against the kitchen counter, spreading my legs, and ravishing my body. His demeanor was guarded as he slowly sipped his drink, gazing at the ocean.
I broke the ice. “So, when do you leave for Mexico?”
He set his glass down and smiled. He took my hand. “Holly, this is really hard to say, but … after the trip to Mexico, I’ll be moving to Santa Cruz.” His blue eyes searched mine.
“Why?” It was all I could think to say. Wasn’t it obvious? The man didn’t care about me anymore.
He stammered out a reply. “Well, it’s like this. The friend I’m helping, the old family friend? She was my girlfriend at one time.”
Oh shit. Jax was breaking up with me. I removed my hand from his. “And what is she now?”
He moved to sit on the edge of the lounge chair, facing me. “I don’t want to hurt you. But to answer your question, she’s the mother of my son.”
Of all the things I expected Jax to say, this was not on the list. “You have a son?”
He smiled a tentative smile. “Came as a surprise to me too.”
My eyes were wide. “How long have you known about him?”
He barked out a laugh. “Well, let’s see, I’ve known about him since roughly the day after I landed in Santa Cruz.”
This was not good. This woman who Jax had gotten involved with was a loser. Had she really kept this from him? Maybe things would work out with us after all. I put my hand on his knee. “Oh, no. You mean to tell me you never knew? Weren’t you guys in touch?”
“Nope. Hell of a secret to have kept from me, right?”
I waited for him to go on.
“Thing of it is, we hadn’t seen each other in over thirteen years.”
Blood pounded through my ears. “What? She kept that— How’d she keep that secret?”
He smirked. “I thought she’d fallen off the face of the earth.” When I saw the look in Jax’s face, I knew he was in love with this person, whoever she was. His eyes misted over, and he had a faraway look as though I wasn’t even in his presence anymore. He turned to face me. “Rosalyn—her name is Rosalyn—needs me. I’m really sorry, but as it turns out, she’s family. Can you believe it? I’ve got a son and a …”
“And a what?” I snapped. I’d been trying to relax on the lounge chair, but a bolt of adrenaline shot through my system, and I sat upright.
The look Jax gave me was pathetic, his face filled with pity. “Rosalyn and I … we’re picking up where we left off.” He looked down.
What kind of breakup story was he concocting? I jabbed a finger in his face. “You led me on! Is any of this even true? What kind of cockamamie story is this? You really expect me to believe you’ve got a son? Why don’t you just be a real man and tell me to take a hike? You think you can just fuck me, get my heart in a knot, and then waltz back here to say you’re leaving?”
Jax put his hand out to steady me. “Making this up? Why would I do that?”
I jumped off the lounge chair like a jack-in-the-box, my hair flying around me. My vision narrowed, and I felt woozy. It wasn’t like me to get so worked up. But Jax had gotten under my skin. I had actually allowed myself to care. I towered over Jax and laid into him. “I don’t know, Jax. Why don’t you tell me? Everything was going so great. But you’re a liar! I don’t believe a word of your story.” I bolted into the house, and Jax followed. I didn’t want him to see me cry.
I stood in the kitchen and couldn’t get enough air in my lungs, no matter how fast I breathed. Jax touched my arm lightly. “Why would I make this up? Holly, I’m sorry. I wasn’t planning on this.”
I whirled around. “And what exactly were you planning? Last time we were together you told me I was your woman. You told me you wanted to take care of me. I believed you!” I thought of all the times we’d shared, surfing, walking the beach, having mind blowing sex in my bedroom until I screamed. “I thought we had something special. You led me on.”
Jax tightened his grip on my arm. “You’re overreacting. Calm down.” I tried not to get caught up in those blue eyes.
I stalked across the living room, distancing myself from Jax, backing up against a long table that hugged the wall. My body tensed. So much for my sexy underwear, I thought wryly. Had Jax been cheating on me? Who was this person he claimed was an ex? I was not going to allow Jax the upper hand. I had things over him. Things he didn’t think I knew. My teeth grinding, I decided to play my cards. “Since we’re being so honest, I’ve got a question for you.” I paused for maximum effect. “Who’s Olivia?”
I will never forget the look on his face. Jax had taken a few tentative steps toward me and stopped mid-step. All the color drained from his face, and his jaw went slack. “How do you know Olivia?”
I crossed my arms and smiled a devious smile. “I’ve got a better question. How do you know Olivia?”
Jax backed away, his hands raised. “She’s … just somebody I met through work.”
What did I have to lose at that point? “Were you fucking her?” I said, through gritted teeth.
A muscle twitched involuntarily underneath Jax’s left eye. “It’s not what you think.”
“And what exactly am I supposed to think?”
Jax stood still, glancing over one shoulder. He was a terrible liar because what came out of his mouth next was sheer stupidity. “We never actually had sex … all we did was … I never really …”
Bastard! My nostrils flared, my breathing became erratic. “You never really what?” And then I decided to take a wild chance. My voice was solicitously sweet when I said, “Jax, why don’t you tell me all about what you did and didn’t do? At the Ritz-Carlton.”
His eyes were wild, and I thought the guy was going to keel over. “How do you know about the Ritz?” He backed away from me as I advanced on him.
Oh, my God, I was right. The vision of Olivia and that other woman in the ladies room flashed through my mind. “I was in the bathroom stall on a break from my sales meeting. And you know what happened? I heard some women talking about you.” I didn’t admit that they’d never actually used his name, but Jax was so stupid that he didn’t know a bluff when he heard one.
Jax stood in the kitchen, his mouth opening and closing like a goddamned goldfish.
I turned away, my face in my hands. “I can’t stand to even look at you! I actually let you fuck me? What’s the matter with me? How could I have fallen for your cheap, dime-store sex?”
I turned around, and Jax stood in the kitchen looking stricken. “Holly, I was only doing it till I got back on my feet financially.”
“You’re not even going to deny it?” I screamed. “You didn’t even try to hide Olivia’s number on your caller ID. You mean to tell me I was right? You let those women use you in exchange for money? How much did they pay you? Was it as much as I paid you? With my heart?” My jaw clenched tight, and my body shook. I backed up against the low table that held my collection of sea shells. My fingers closed around a heavy conch shell. I picked it up and hurled it across the room. “You bastard!”
Jax ducked and the shell hit the refrigerator, pieces of it splintering onto the floor. Dinah and Matrix, who had been sleeping on the grass, rushed into the kitchen, slobbering all over my dear, sweet, two-bit surfer boyfriend. I fell to my knees, my hands tugging at my hair, my face slack. “Tell me it’s not true.” Jax slowly crept to my side, his hand on my back. “Don’t touch me! Get the fuck out of my house. Now!” I screamed.
And then I heard a low, muffled, pathetic sound. Jax was crying. He knelt next to me, his face in his hands, and the
guy was actually bawling like a baby. “Holly, I’m so sorry,” he said in between hiccups. “I really messed up bad. My life has been nothing but a total screw up. I don’t blame you if you never speak to me again.” He rocked back on his heels. “I deserve to die. It should’ve been me, not my brother!” he screamed. Dinah and Matrix looked on with concern, licking Jax’s arms and face. He reached a hand out to pet Matrix.
I pulled Matrix away and hugged him to me. “Don’t touch my dog!”
Jax’s hair hung in his face. “I’m sorry Holly. I screwed up bad.”
Violent anger thrummed through my system. “Damn right you did.”
He covered his face with his hands and tears leaked from between his fingers. His frantic voice quaked. “Everything’s been a nightmare in my life starting with when my parents were killed.” He choked out a sob. “My mom and dad were good people.” His voice was almost a whisper. “And then Tyler.” He stood up fast. “You have every right to hate me.” He towered over me and pointed a finger at himself. “I hate me.”
How dare he bring up his parents to try to make me feel pity? I stood up and stalked into the kitchen. Jax shuffled behind, his head bowed. I folded my arms and glared at him. “Let me ask you something, Jax. Are you sorry you screwed those women behind my back or are you just sorry you got caught?” Thinking of Jax with those other women made me want to scream.
He hung his head. His voice was pleading. “I didn’t mean for it to turn out this way.” He looked at me, his eyes wet. “I thought I was ready for a relationship again.”
My voice was high pitched. “Ready? Don’t make me laugh.”
He sniffed back tears. “You were the first person I’d met in years that—”
“Shut up! I don’t want to hear your lies. If you were so ready then why the fuck did you screw those other women?” I felt like tearing my hair out, then killing Jax slowly, but not until he told me every detail of how he’d become a paid whore.
His pathetic voice was low. “It was just meant to be temporary. I needed the money.”
Waves of Desire: Pleasure Point Series Book Three Page 14
