by Coralee June
I nodded in agreement. My new and brave approach wouldn’t have happened if not for the fear of losing them all. I would have happily tip-toed the line until one of them made the first move.
“Can I hold you, Ash? This story is hard.”
I nodded as he sat down. Once he was comfortable, I crawled into his lap and rested my cheek against his chest as he stroked my hair.
“I told you how our parents died, but not the whole story. We were home when the Eastern Scavengers attacked. Dad was working at the train station. Mom was making dinner. I can still smell her cooking,” Patrick said with a sad chuckle. “When the alarms sounded, we thought it was another Walker. Then we smelled smoke. They set one of our buildings on fire. A family died inside. Two little girls we went to school with, gone forever. Mom locked us in the closet and stood waiting at the door, knife in hand. She didn't even hesitate. Mom was prepared to die to save us.”
I clutched Patrick tighter as he spoke softly. It was like this story was a painful secret he couldn’t handle.
“We heard her screams, and the both of us kicked the door down. It was so bad, Ash. He—he was hurting her. He knocked her out and…” Patrick trailed off while squeezing his eyes shut in pain .
“I just stood there frozen. I couldn’t move or speak or act. I covered my fucking eyes. I couldn’t watch.”
I felt a fat tear land on my cheek and looked up to see my playful Patrick crying.
“The Eastern Scavenger was on top of her when Huxley grabbed Mom’s knife and stabbed him. He snapped her neck all while staring at us as his remaining strength fled his body, and he bled out on top of her.”
I cried. Tears like waterfalls fell down my cheeks, soaking Patrick’s shirt, drenching us with the unfairness of it all.
“Huxley took responsibility for that night and didn’t leave any leftover guilt for me. So I’ve spent a lifetime trying to makeup for what a complete failure I was. Navigating his episodes was the only consolation I had. The only thing I could do, and now…” Patrick gripped me tight, and I shivered.
“You’re not a failure, Patrick,” I said sternly. “You’re my strong survivor. Selfless, loving, and just as much a victim as Huxley. I’m sorry for overstepping. I didn’t realize how important it was for you to be here when he’s like that. But I love him, Patrick.” He stiffened at my admission and began pulling away, but I simply clutched him tighter, resolving not to let go. “I love you both . I just want to take what hurts you and let it hurt me. We’re alike in that sense, I guess. Just, now you have someone to share the burdens with.”
“You love me?” he asked in disbelief.
I didn’t realize how much Patrick felt undeserving of love until now. I kissed him in response, pouring all my affections into the pressure of my kiss before pulling away.
“I love you, Patrick.”
We lay down while cuddling, and soon his light snores could be heard throughout the room as the sun set. Everything was such a mess. When I first moved to Dormas, I thought I needed this new family. But now that I’ve pulled back the many layers of their group, I see the truth.
They need me, too.
Chapter Eight
Patrick slipped out before sunrise to avoid the stares and questions, but before he left, he kissed my forehead tenderly, silently thanking me for being a source of comfort in all the chaos.
I paged Dominique, asking for new clothes, and within moments, she stormed into my room. "Well if it isn’t the stupidest Walker on the planet," she hissed while yanking a new Walker uniform from her bag. A bright red toy truck fell from her bag to the ground. She bent over, picked it up, then shoved it back in her purse before continuing. "Cavil found Blan this morning. A smart person would fly under the radar, but you? You nearly kill his right-hand man!” She laughed while tossing the uniform towards me. “Get dressed. If I were you, I’d go to the lab for the day.”
"Shit," I cursed while slipping the crisp teal dress over my shoulders and pulling it around my knees.
"You'll surely be punished. I've already done more than I should. I’ll tell Jules where you are. Hopefully Cavil is too distracted with a meeting he has this afternoon to bother with you until tonight. Good luck." Without further explanation, Dominique slipped out of my room and fled down the hall. It was then that I realized maybe she wasn't the ever-dutiful Walker that Cavil thought she was.
While leaving the Walker quarters, I found myself looking over my shoulder to ensure I wasn't followed, Dominique's frantic warnings still ringing throughout my mind. What about Cyler? Would he be okay?
The street was mostly empty, as it was too early for the rush of morning commuters off to their various jobs. The sun just began to rise, and without the soldiers and prejudiced passersby, I was able to fully appreciate the beauty of Ethros. The stucco buildings, the bright green plants, and brightly painted doors. Without the chatter of pedestrians, I could easily hear the crash of the ocean as waves hit the shore.
While straining to hear the comforting sound of the ocean, I heard the sounds of soft footsteps following closely behind me. My eyes sought out an escape. I slipped into a nearby alley shadowed by two tall homes. With my heart racing, I pressed my back against a cool stucco wall, all while holding my breath. One. Two. Three. I counted in my head and tilted my head towards the street, listening to the stepping cadence until the steps disappeared.
I exhaled in relief once I was sure no one was following me, then I stepped out of the dark alley and back into the street, eager to get to the lab.
"Ash!" A familiar voice whispered to my left, and I turned in relief as Kemper came into view.
"Have you been following me?" I asked as I pulled him back into the alley, both hiding in its shadows.
"Yes, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Things are bad..." he trailed off while thrusting his hand through his short blond hair.
"Is Cyler...?"
"He's fine. Cavil hasn't said or done anything yet, but we heard them rushing Blan to the healing pod for a broken jaw." I looked down at the red brick street and tried to bite back the worry that filled me .
Cavil didn't seem like one to take punishment lightly, and surely there would be punishment.
"I brought you breakfast. You also didn't have dinner last night." Kemper produced a small paper sack from behind his back and handed it to me. "I worry about you, you're not eating enough."
I tried to remember the last time I had an actual meal and realized that he was right. "Isn't it strange how easily we slip back into old routines?" I asked while pulling a bright orange from the bag and smiling a sad little smile. "Back in Stonewell manor, I was forced to skip meals all the time. Guess it became a habit." I peeled the orange while Kemper looked at me like I was a problem he wanted—no—needed to fix.
"Ash, about what I said..."
My mind drifted to our kiss in Jules' suite, and how he held me without fear. I reacted poorly when he simply wanted to keep me safe. I now saw the part I was expected to play. "Kemp. I know you didn't mean it. I was feeling vulnerable and sensitive. I know you don't view me as a..." My voice trailed off as I looked around to see if we were still secluded in the privacy of the alley before whispering, "Walker Companion. This thing between us is so much more. Or at least I hope it is."
Kemper grabbed my hand and frowned when the tips of his fingers brushed along my metal fetter.
"I'm working on a way to get this off of you," he whispered. "The technology is advanced, but I have some ideas on how to fix it."
Once again I looked around, half expecting Webb, Cavil or Blan to ambush us and behead me like they did the Walker woman from the video. I realized that we were standing very close to where she was executed, and I was breaking the same law she did.
Loving someone above my status.
I didn't feel worthy of Kemper's kindness and attentiveness. But he was worth fighting for. They all were. My eyes locked on the empty street, and I felt free for a moment.
Lost in the i
llusion of seclusion, I whispered, "Kemp, can you do something for me?" I knew already that he would readily agree, because that's just the sort of helpful person he was. Yet I still felt embarrassed all the same.
"Anything." His response was immediate. Firm. Loving .
"Can you walk me to the lab? Pretend with me. Pretend we're in Dormas or on our way to work. Or on a date. Anything really." I blushed while Kemper let out a slow smile that filled his face.
Instead of answering, he simply held out his arm for me to take. I rested my hand in the crook of his arm and we playfully joked about the weather, the sweet and gossipy people of Dormas, and plans for future dates, all while sticking to the shadowed secrecy of the Ethros alleyways.
Maverick's lab was ominous and dark. The moment I stepped through the security clearance, I saw Maverick arguing with a tall man wearing a lab coat.
"That's not how that works, the protein you're looking for doesn't exist," Maverick growled out in frustration while thrusting his hands in the air.
"I'm telling you, it's experimental, but it could work!" the stranger replied. He had dark hair and tan skin, like he spent most his time on Ethros beaches.
"We don't have time to waste on a risky project that has the lowest probability of working. Every day is another death. We go with my plan or we don't go at all." Maverick definitively crossed his arms over his chest and frowned just as the door slid shut behind me, drawing the attention of both men.
"Ash?" Maverick asked in disbelief. It had only been two days since I'd seen him last, and he looked worse than before. Bloodshot eyes. Shaky hands. Was he sleeping? Eating?
He slowly walked over towards me and enveloped me in a huge hug. "I missed you." His hands cupped my face as he observed the bruise on my cheek. "Let me get you something to help with the inflammation," he murmured before sifting through a medic kit until he found a circular container. With gentle hands, he unscrewed the cap and dabbed at the mint-smelling paste inside before applying it to my cheek. The strange man coughed, reminding us of his presence.
"Hello, sir," I choked out awkwardly as Maverick removed his fingers from my cheek. I didn't know who he was, his status, or his views on Walkers. Did I just make things worse? It was so hard knowing where the line was.
In Ethros, a Walker's body could be used up, but once feelings were involved, it got messy. There were simply too many feelings in our group. We were too obvious.
"I'm Allaire," he said while holding out his hand to me and bowing slightly. "Official Chief of Medicine for Ethros. Was kidnapped four years ago and have been here ever since." I took his hand and shook it. Four years. This man had been here four years?
"Where did you come from?" I asked. Allaire's tan cheeks blushed as he looked towards the ground and smiled.
“Saberus,” he replied.
"I’ve never been,” I replied politely. It seemed odd exchanging pleasantries with a stranger. Maverick grabbed my hand and glared at Allaire, who rolled his eyes.
"May I stay here today? I seem to be in a bit of trouble," I asked softly, worry still creeping up and burning me at the edges. Cavil was vengeful, and I knew it would be just a matter of time. Maverick squeezed my hand tighter as I relaxed my shoulders.
"As long as you don’t mind a day full of bickering. It seems Maverick and I have a difference of opinion when it comes to tackling this problem." Allaire adjusted his thick glasses and tapped on his digital watch.
"I simply don't want to waste time on a hopeless sidetrack. The genetic code I'm running has a higher probability of succeeding. If we both work on it, I'm sure we'll have answers by the end of the month," Maverick said .
Allaire frowned and furrowed his brow before walking back to his desk and angrily flipping through his tablet.
"Ash, could I have another sample of your blood?" Maverick asked while placing a hand on my lower back and guiding me towards the table. The combination of his touch and being back in the lab made me shiver as I remembered Maverick's skilled fingers and Jacob's loving gaze. Maverick smirked at me. He knew what caused the faraway, dreamy look in my eyes, and he liked it.
"I'd like to see how the vaccine reacts to immune subjects," Maverick explained while adjusting the collar on his shirt. Allaire huffed again, loud enough for all of Ethros to hear. He was peculiar.
"Something you'd like to add?" Maverick asked through gritted teeth, obviously not amused with his huffing.
"Nope. Nothing at all. It's just that I've already done that with my own blood too many times to count, and the results are still the same. The vaccine has zero effect on immune subjects. Once the vaccine enters the bloodstream, it can determine if its host is immune or not. Immunity codes the vaccine to remain inactive. For one who talks about wasting time, you sure do a lot of it."
"You're immune?" I asked. Allaire's expression twisted into pride as he smiled at me.
"Yes! Aren't the odds fascinating? A year ago, they said only two percent were immune to X, but after studying it more, I think the number is closer to one point zero eight."
"It's sad," I began while holding my arm out for Maverick to take my blood. As he stuck the needle in, I mused out loud. "I wish everyone were immune. Then there wouldn't even need to be a vaccine. If it didn't have a purpose, it wouldn't be such a threat." Maverick drew my blood, but his eyes had that faraway quality that I'd grown to recognize as the look he wore while contemplating a major problem. Once he slipped it from my arm, he and Allaire spoke at the same time.
"What if we..."
"We should... "
Maverick laughed before jumping back in. "We shouldn't fight the vaccine, we need to fight what triggers it."
"If the vaccine were tricked into thinking that it’s host was immune—"
"—then there would be no catalyst for the mutation. It would just stay dormant in the body." Maverick softly kissed my hand before jogging over to the large screen in the center of the brightly lit room. They started mapping out possibilities and theories. I watched in amazement as Maverick lit up in excitement and hope. They were on the cusp of a solution.
“This means everyone will be able to contract X again, though.” Allaire’s voice was morbid as he traced his fingers over the table top.
“We better know how to protect ourselves from X now, and once we find the trigger to the vaccine, we can develop a better one that doesn’t kill everyone,” Maverick replied. “But yes, while I figure that out, I guess everyone will become”—Maverick looked to me before finishing—“everyone will become Walkers.”
I got comfortable on my stool and watched, occasionally bringing them drinks and interjecting when they argued. Halfway through the day, I went upstairs to make them lunch in the their small kitchenette. Maverick dove into work with newfound purpose, and for the first time since arriving in Ethros, I felt that there was hope. That maybe he would find the cure, and I would be gifted with a future with my guys.
While walking back downstairs and juggling two plates with large sandwiches and two bottles of water, Maverick found me at the base of the steps, took everything from my hands, and placed them on a nearby table. Allaire could be heard talking to himself in the main lab as Mav wove his fingers through mine and guided me back up the steps. Within moments his hands were on me. He wore a bright smile that brimmed to the top with hope and light. He looked the most at peace I'd ever seen.
"We could be onto something," he said in a light tone that matched the happiness he felt .
"Maverick, this is great, I don't know how you do it all. The weight of the world on your shoulders and you still manage to figure it out."
"I'm crediting this find to you, Miss..." his voice trailed off as he realized I didn't have a last name. Walkers usually weren't given them; if anything, we were cataloged in the system by who owned us.
I looked down at the floor then back up at him. "I've always wanted a last name. It meant family. Legacy. When I was a little girl, I would make up names for myself, say them out loud and try
them on for size." Maverick smiled again, but it was full of pity. I wished I hadn’t ruined our happy moment with sad tales from my childhood. I wanted to bring his smile back.
"I think the last name Black suits you well," he said softly, brushing a curl behind my ear. He then frowned as his eyes zeroed in on my new Walker Tag.
"I think Ashleigh Black is a good name," I whispered in agreement before kissing him softly on the lips, bringing back that hopeful smile that made my knees weak from the pure beauty of it.
"I'm going to figure this out. I want a world where you have a name and a family. I want a future with you, and I'm going to get it if it’s the last thing I do."
An hour before dinner time, Dominique paged my watch, instructing me to return to the manor and prepare for dinner. Maverick tensed when I told him I had to go and insisted that, since he wasn't allowed to leave the lab, Allaire must accompany me. Allaire seemed particularly giddy to walk back with me, and Maverick made a big production of kissing me deeply and clutching me tight against his chest before saying goodbye.
"Take care of her," he ordered.
Chapter Nine
Allaire and I walked in silence, with me two paces ahead of him with my head bowed submissively to avoid confrontation. The tactic mostly worked, aside from a few grumbles from soldiers. I was worried about what Cavil had planned, but I kept going despite the dread that filled me.
Once at the back door leading to the kitchen, Dominique flung open the door and peered at us with bright eyes. It was the most alive I'd seen her since arriving in Ethros. "Allaire, such a pleasure to see you again. Will you be joining us for dinner?" She patted her hair and smiled, her usual stiff posture and rigid expression now bounced with energy.
"Not today, I'm afraid." Allaire leaned in closer so that their faces were but inches apart. I blushed and debated on turning away. "But we've found a lead. I think this could be it!" Allaire clapped his hands before rubbing the back of his neck and standing awkwardly.
