Wings of the Walker: The Complete Walker Series
Page 54
"Josiah?" I asked in confusion. It was like I was wading through my thoughts. My limbs felt slow and heavy. My thoughts delayed as I processed each distorted moment. The lights flickered.
"Shh," he said, holding a small finger up to my lips while shifting further under the dining room table. "Mother is coming!"
I crouched lower, feeling dazed and disoriented. It was like I couldn't hold on to my body, my memories. While I tried to grasp hold of my surroundings, heels stepping on the tile made their way towards us. "Lackley, why must you go back to the capital so soon? You only just got here, and my husband isn't expected back for a week!"
Mistress Stonewell's voice echoed around us, and my eyes flashed to Josiah. His gaze was wide as he silently giggled, shoulders shaking with amusement. "I have business to attend to at the capital. One of my scientists has made an important discovery that I must deal with."
"Everything is always more important to you than I am," Mistress Stonewell cried out. All I could see from beneath the table was her pale pink heel stomping on the tile to accentuate her words. I tried to shift closer, to look at their faces, but Josiah’s hand jetted out to stop me.
"Don't be so dramatic, Linda. Some things are more important than your need for validation, you know. I'm an important man."
Mistress Stonewell heaved a long, steady sigh before responding. "Of course I know, Lackley. It's all you ever remind me of."
My brow shot up, and I looked to Josiah. He was tracing lines in the fibers of the rug beneath us, no longer listening and looking wildly sad. "I suggest you tread carefully," Lackley replied, drawing my attention back to them. "Remember who you're speaking to, darling."
"I know exactly who I'm speaking to," Mistress Stonewell replied, her tone dark and foreboding. "I also know that you're sleeping with this scientist you're always raving about. You're putting a lot of faith in Dominique. I don't think her views align with ours."
A hand slammed down on the dining table, making Josiah and me flinch. "She's the brightest scientist in the empire. I have to protect her. Don't think you control me. Don't think you have any say in who I see or who I fuck. This thing between us is nothing, so next time you want to tell me who to see—don't."
From under the table, I watched as Lackley left, leaving Mistress Stonewell in a stupor. His polished dress shoes clacked against the tile, and once he was out of sight, Linda collapsed on the floor in a heap of sobs, cradling her head in her hands. Josiah then laughed at his mother's defeated posture. The chuckles erupting from his mouth cruel and uncaring. Mistress Stonewell snapped her attention towards us with a ferocious scowl.
"Were you spying on me, Walker?" she asked while crawling towards me.
"No—" I choked out. With one swift movement, she swiped the dining chair aside, leaving me vulnerable. When it crashed to the wall, I jumped. Her bony fingers wrapped around my ankle as she yanked me out from beneath the table and towards her. I lay on the floor staring up at her as she lifted her arm.
"I'll show you what happens to little Walkers that eavesdrop," she screamed before backhanding me. My vision went black, but I clung to the memory as I felt a hand grasp mine.
"Remember, Ash. Save them, Ash," Josiah's voice said, no longer sounding boyish. "Save them. Save them all."
When I woke up, my chest felt tight, but my limbs light. "What happened?" I croaked as memories of Jules pinning me to the ground and forcing a pill down my throat assaulted me. Looking around, I gathered that I was still in the Scavenger medic tent. I wasn't sure how long I'd been lying there, but my growling stomach made me think that it had, at the very least, been a day since I'd eaten.
The door to the tent opened, flooding the room with bright sunlight. I winced as my head and eyes burned from the intrusion. Throwing my arm over my face to block my vision, I froze when I didn't feel the familiar metal of a fetter on my wrist.
"Ash?" a familiar voice called out to me, and I moved my arm to see Payne.
He had dirt on his cheek, and the back of his hair stood straight up. I imagined that he hadn't seen Mistress Stonewell recently, because if he had, she'd not let him walk around in "such a condition."
"Hey, kid," I smiled.
“I'm glad you're okay," he replied. "Huxley is mean when you're not around," Payne pouted as he climbed up onto my legs. I looked towards the far side of the tent where Lilly was messing with herbs on a table and giving me sideways glances.
"What happened?" I asked her.
She took a while to respond, shuffling various plants around before turning to face me. "That treli skyla, Jules, is what happened," Lilly finally said. "She shoved some empire medicine down your throat. You died. That thing popped off your wrist, and then you were back. You've been asleep for a couple hours."
I shook my head then ran my finger along the purple scar where my fetter once was. "It's really gone?" I asked. Somehow, this felt like a trick. Like the empire was playing one giant joke on me, and Cavil would pop out from under my bed to clamp a new one right back on.
"She's insane!" Lilly added, throwing her hands up. “They took her to the solitude cage for review, and she didn't even bat an eye. In fact, she almost looked pleased to be punished for killing you!"
I turned to look at the bed beside me and smiled when I saw Mia shuffling beneath her blankets. "Agapimenos has some balls," Mia said, her voice hoarse, and the moment sound escaped her lips, Lilly fluttered over towards her, bending over to check her wound and fever.
"Hey there, Agrio, long time no see," Mia finally said once Lilly mumbled to herself something about “crazy visitors” and went back to mixing another one of her concoctions.
"Mia," I cooed while sitting up. Payne got off of my lap, and I shifted to place my feet on the floor of the tent. "How are you?"
She flashed me her signature sharp-toothed smile, but it looked weak and half-hearted. "I've been better. But that sexy leader you've got is making me feel much better," she replied while throwing her hand up to her face in mock-swoon.
"Glad to hear you're making new friends and not throwing knives at the locals," I joked, thinking back to her aptitude with weapons.
"No, it would seem that Jules is the one angering the locals. I'm pretty impressed that she killed you. I thought for sure she'd at least talk to you first. But no! She went for the sneak attack." Mia then wiped away a tear that hadn't fallen. "I'm so proud."
Payne giggled at Mia, and she flashed him a teasing smile and a wink. I was about to ask where she got that medicine to temporarily kill someone, but the tent door opened, interrupting us.
"Ash?" Kemper asked, slumping with relief once he saw me. "Jules is damn lucky you woke up." Kemper made his way over to me and sat down on the cot. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he gave me a side hug before kissing my forehead.
"I could have done without the theatrics, but look," I said, holding up my bare wrist. "I'm fetter free!" It felt like I was significantly lighter. I didn't realize how much of a weight the fetter was. It was an invisible cage, reminding me of my time in Ethros. Reminding me of all I'd lost. I’d accepted that the fetter was just another consequence of Cavil. I even learned to avoid staring at the shiny metal wrapped tightly around my wrist. But now that it was gone, I noticed it more than when I’d actually worn it.
"Jules knew your bodyguards would never risk letting you take medicine that could potentially kill you," Mia said with a wave of her hand. "I was the one that suggested she just shove it in your mouth. I just didn't expect her to actually do it." Mia chuckled before coughing and gripping her chest. Lilly gave her a scowl, as if daring her to laugh again on her watch. The strict healer was not docile. She was crazy passionate and devoted to her patients.
Kemper went rigid beside me. "You're lucky you're still recovering, Mia," Kemper said, his voice carrying a hard edge that I hadn't expected from him. "I respect you and your brother, but I'd lock you in with Jules for this stunt."
"And I'd gladly accept my punishment. Sometimes i
t's better to ask forgiveness than permission, huh? There are much bigger problems at stake. The risk was worth it."
I stared at Mia, looking into her deep brown eyes for a moment as her playful grin turned serious. She was always wild, but there was a maturity about her. What had happened these last five months?
Kemper spoke again while rubbing circles on my shoulder with his fingers. "We have a meeting in three hours with Aarav and the camp elders. They want to discuss why you're here and the safety of the camp. I'm happy to see you, but it's brought up some concerns about us being here."
"We won't be here long," Mia replied cryptically.
"You're not going anywhere," Lilly interrupted. Payne had moved to the floor, and she had him stripping the leaves off a plant. "You're in no condition to be walking around—at least not until your fever is down." Lilly crossed her tattooed arms over her chest. Long, grey hair with frizzy ends covered her shoulders.
"That might not be an option, Lilly," Kemper said.
"Bah! I am the council. What I say goes. It doesn't take a title to make decisions. It just takes having the power to kill or save anyone," Lilly said while gesturing towards her work station. Wasn’t that the problem, though? I didn’t tell Lilly how much her views reminded me of Cavil, but I couldn’t help but shiver at her seemingly harmless comment.
"Can I go to the meeting?" Payne asked.
"Not today, buddy. And don't let me catch you hiding in the woods and eavesdropping again, either," Kemper replied. Something about his words made me pause. A memory as temporary as smoke tickled at the edge of my mind. I clung to it. I slumped and put my head in my hands, trying to picture the fading dream in my mind's eye.
"You okay, Agrio?" Lilly asked. Kemper massaged my neck as I visualized my dream. I was at Stonewell Manor. Josiah was there. I’d never believed in ghosts before. I wasn’t one to think that we were haunted by the dead. But maybe we could be haunted by the living, and the memories of life trapped in our heads.
"While I was asleep, I think I had a dream...or a memory," I replied. My voice was muffled, but Kemper's hand froze on my neck. A thick finger landed beneath my chin and tilted my gaze up until I was staring into Lilly's grey eyes.
"You were dead for a short while, Agrio. I’ve seen many things in my time here. Many unexplainable things. Maybe you saw a ghost," Lilly said, her voice ominous as she plopped a heavy hand on my forehead to check for a fever. "But, you feel fine. No fever. The only thing wrong with you is your smell. I thought I’d have to burn down the medic tent. What you need is a good bath." Lilly looked to Kemper. "You said three hours?"
"Yes," Kemper replied.
"She's going to need all three to get cleaned up," Lilly said, wrinkling her nose, causing Payne and Mia to burst out in conspiratory giggles. I didn't bother to respond, I simply rolled my eyes and stood. I'd focus on the strange memory later.
Kemper stood with me, and Lilly made quick work of giving Payne more to do. "Aarav said that Jules could get out of confinement when you woke up," Kemper said as we exited the tent.
"Well, then I guess I should have stayed dead," I replied with a giggle. It felt easier to joke with Kemper. Losing the fetter and having Jules and Mia here was bringing back tiny parts of myself. Now, if only I could get back the parts I missed most: Cyler, Maverick, and Jacob.
While I was underwater, the world felt quiet. The only sound I could hear was the rushing water and my pounding pulse. The lack of oxygen had my lungs craving air, and the tingling toxic water from the deadlands had my skin humming. The river was a force to be reckoned with. When we first moved here, many elders warned us to be wary of the current. I liked to test myself. While under, I’d dig my feet into the riverbed and stand against the current until the need to breathe was too much and my muscles felt weak.
Since my time in Ethros, I’d spent a lot of time seeking opportunities to feel strong. Whereas in the areas of my life where genuine strength mattered, I was weak. I couldn't get over the betrayal. The abandonment. The anger.
When I emerged from the water, my eyes connected with Kemper. Once, I thought the kind, blue-eyed man from Dormas was shy. I believed him to be soft-spoken and timid. But the way his hungry stare trailed over my skin was brash and confident. He looked at me like I was his to look at. The brazen stare was unbreakable. I didn’t cover myself. There was no need for modesty. Nudity was common in the deadlands, and it felt freeing to see his attraction as he drank in my appearance.
When Kemp insisted on accompanying me to bathe in the creek, I knew the tension between us would return. It was palpable. Unavoidable. Although I'd been numb to the passion between us these last five months, it was like I had reawakened. I wanted to pick back up where we left off, but I didn't know how. Diving into the physical aspects of my relationships with Kemper, Patrick, and Huxley felt like giving up on Cyler, Maverick, and Jacob.
As I walked out of the water, droplets of the acidic water tingled trails down my bare skin. It left irritated streaks of red. The sun felt more intense here, and I noticed a healthy tan along my arms, legs, and stomach. When I stood on the bank, I stretched my arms high above my head, welcoming the heat of the sun as it dried me, and gave Kemper a generous view of my naked form.
My eyes were closed, but I could feel his appraisal of me. I knew that he was savoring each inch of my skin. “You’re beautiful,” Kemper said in awe. The Galla girl I once was would have squirmed under his heated gaze, but not me. I opened my eyes to stare back at Kemper. No bashful blush donned my cheeks. I accepted his compliment and wore it like armor. I'd lost my timidness in Ethros. I might not have deserved the adoring look in Kemper's gaze, but I craved it. “I thought when I failed you in Ethros that perfection was unattainable. But looking at you now, it sure seems to exist.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, already sensing where this line of thinking was going. Why was Kemper so obsessed with perfection?
“You’re perfect, Ash. Absolutely perfect.”
I lowered my arms and wrapped them around my stomach, suddenly feeling less confident. Before Ethros, I liked the pedestal the guys put me on, but now I wanted equal ground. I didn't want to be worshipped and saved. I wanted respect and love. “I’m not perfect, Kemper. No one is. And you didn’t fail.” Dragging each step, I walked towards him with a frown on my face. “We failed. All of us.”
Kemper reached behind himself, grabbing a thick blanket hanging on a low deadlands branch. Once we were close enough, he wrapped it around my shoulders. His fingers lightly brushed along my breasts, making my heart race as he closed the fabric around me.
"How?" Kemper asked.
I wrapped the blanket tighter around me. "We didn't talk. We failed because we expected the intense love we had for one another to be enough. You self-sacrificing assholes didn't include me, and I blindly trusted that we'd never be apart. We failed each other."
“All my life, my grandfather taught me to fix the things that are broken,” Kemper said while licking his lips. “Now I want to fix you, but I don’t know where to start.”
“Don’t you think that’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself, Kemper? My brokenness isn’t your responsibility. Loving someone means accepting them as they are. I won’t be...grieving...forever. But I’m not just some problem you can fix. The sooner you realize that, the easier this will be.” For all my talk, I couldn't help but feel somewhat insecure that my brokenness was pushing him away. Could the guys handle this sort of unconditional love?
Would they ever get the chance to try?
Kemper nodded his head in agreement, but the uncertain look on his face made me doubt that he’d absorbed my words. I didn’t like feeling like a broken project. I was sad. I was angry. I was experiencing the normal progression of feelings. When you’re trying to survive, there's no time to process your grief. The empire was full of desensitized citizens, but I would rather be motivated by anger than be complacent.
"I know things are about to change," Kemper said before tucking
a curly strand of my hair behind my ears. "I'm thankful for our time here, but I'm done hitting pause on our relationship. I'm going to help you get mad. I'm going to bring you back, flaws and all. I can love your brokenness, Ash. I'll cherish each little jagged piece of you."
My heart clenched, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Kemper looked so determined. I didn't have the heart to tell him that three of my jagged pieces were left behind in Ethros.
Chapter Five
“I knew you'd be fine. Maverick never fails,” she said with a flick of her wrist. Kemper and I had made our way back towards camp after I got dressed. The moment I heard Jules mention Maverick, I practically sprinted towards her, eager to hear more. I was like an addict for information.
“Is he okay? When did you see him?” I asked, done with dancing around what she knew. I wanted answers, now.
The cage was made out of carved wood and stood only about six feet tall and four feet wide. Although it was the camp's makeshift prison, Jules made it look like she was living in a palace. With her sleek hair and rosy cheeks, you wouldn’t have known that, yesterday, she killed a man and, today, killed me. She was too relaxed, too unaffected. Aside from where Tallis and Mia were concerned, she was always unaffected.
“I didn’t actually see him. I have a contact in the Resistance that visits him regularly. She was able to bring me a note and the pill.”
I tried to ignore the ebbing jealousy that rocked through me like a punch to the chest. My mind lingered on the idea that a woman was visiting Maverick regularly. It sounded like they had a system of sorts, but I couldn't help but consider he'd moved on during our time apart.
"What did the note say?" I asked.
"It was a short description of the medicine he concocted and how to use it."
"What else has he said? Do you talk to them often? What happened to Jacob?"
“I’ll explain it all at the meeting.”
Behind me, Huxley and Patrick arrived, each wearing matching scowls. “Happy to see you’re okay. Kinda pissed we were the last to know,” Huxley growled at me before giving Kemper a pointed stare.