by Coralee June
The song stopped, and we both just held each other for another moment until another song picked up. I used the loud strumming of the guitar to conceal my words from others nearby. “I was sad in the beginning. You were the first person to see me and then truly value my choices and freedom. You ripped that freedom from me. I was angry for a while, then I just kind of went into survival mode. But you know what I hate most, Cy?”
Cyler didn’t respond, he just held me tighter. He kissed my temple once more as if that was all he could do. “You taught me to fight for myself. You showed me I was worthy of love, that I didn’t have to be so passive in my life. You made me realize that I could claim my soul for myself...then you left. The worst part was you made me fall in love with you, then you gently placed me back in the pretty little cage where I was helpless against my situation.” I choked out each word as I let go of everything I’d been feeling these last five months. “Josiah said he stayed away because he loved me, too, you know. I thought we were better than that.”
Cyler let out a shaky sigh and whispered in my ear once more. “I did wrong by you, Ash. If I could change everything about that night, I would. But can you blame me? I love you enough to be without you if that’s what it takes. I just hope I can make it up to you. I swear I’m nothing like Josiah. I’d let nothing get between us.”
I looked around us and, after not seeing Cavil’s prying dark eyes, leaned up to kiss Cyler on the lips. With my touch, I showed him how much he’d changed my life. The depth of my love and appreciation for Cyler Black was infinite. He truly saved me from myself and from a lifetime in a toxic relationship. He collected each little broken piece of me and put it back together, making a life for me more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. He didn’t just make me feel complete, Cyler Black completed me.
Being without him would inevitably break me.
The space between us exploded, and my hands struggled to bring him closer. “You’re my everything, Babe. I want this for the long haul. I’m so sorry,” he whispered between kisses. The music stopped, and I looked up into his dark eyes, committing the fiery way he looked back at me to memory. I wanted to remember this moment forever. If this was our goodbye, then I wanted it to be a good one.
“We might not be able to get you,” I said, making sure to keep my voice low. “Our...arrangements...they’re falling apart. You could have to go back,” I choked.
Cyler rubbed his hands up and down my arms while looking around the room. The music stopped, and people were disappearing to the many dinner tables. He didn’t answer me until we found a small table in the dining room in the back, secluded from the others. Maverick sat at the table across from ours and kept eye contact with me as we ate. “I’m going to do everything in my power to get out of here, Babe. I’m not leaving you again,” he said in a voice that made me almost believe him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Kaye was quiet during the ride home. Although she didn't seem surprised by her sister's refusal to help, she was still disappointed. We all were. Now, Kaye would have to sneak into the kitchens to poison the guards’ wine stash on her own. I made sure to warn her about the angry chef and the lie I told her. But still, nothing seemed to be coming together. Was Jade genuinely prepared to kill Cavil? I didn't know her well, and although she appeared fearless, it was still a risk. Either way, I was determined to get my men on the transport and out of there. Regardless if Cavil were alive or not, I wouldn't be failing my mission.
The girls went to the third floor to debrief Madam B on their evening, and I was surprised to see that none of my guys were there to greet me when we got back to the brothel. Slowly, I made my way upstairs and to my room, gasping when I opened the door.
Flowers. Dozens of flowers covered the floor. Candles were lit and scattered around every available ledge, and the bed was made with crisp satin sheets. "Hello?" I called. From what I could see, there was no one here.
"Hey," Huxley's gruff voice said to my left. He was wearing nothing but boxers, and his hair was wet. Moisture clung to his skin as he shut the steamy bathroom door. "I was taking a shower. Didn't expect you back so early."
I was stunned speechless. I'd never been one to get the twins confused. To me, their smiles held all the secrets to their differences. Huxley was hardened by his life and always seemed unhappy. Differentiating him from Patrick had never been an issue. However, tonight? He looked happy. There was an anxious glow pouring from his lips as they quirked at the ends. His shoulders didn't seem to crack under the weight of his burdens. Huxley didn't look angry or even sad. He looked like a man on the edge of something beautiful, and I couldn't help but wonder if that something beautiful was me.
"What's all of this?" I asked while motioning through the room. Huxley rubbed the back of his neck, looking bashful and sexy as hell as he noticed what I was talking about. "I...I wanted to do something special for this...I know it's not ideal, but with everything..."
Was Huxley...nervous? He made his way closer to the bed then whirled around as if he'd forgotten something. In the process, Hux knocked over a candle and flames erupted around us. "Shit, son of a bitch!" he yelled before barreling towards the bathroom and emerging with a sopping wet towel to throw over the fire.
The door slammed open, and a stream of curses flew. "What the fuck is going on?" Turning around, Patrick, Kemper, and Jacob fought to get through the door and make sure we were alright.
"It's these fucking candles!" Huxley roared. "I told you I don't do that sort of shit. One fell over, and it started a fire."
Patrick let out a laugh, and I merely stood there speechless. "When you said things were 'heating up' tonight, you weren't kidding," he snorted. Huxley spun to look at his brother and raised his fist. It wasn't until then that I realized I should probably speak up.
"Stop!"
Jacob's mindspeak started going crazy. "I knew I should have gone next. This is a disaster."
Huxley huffed, the sound more like a growl than an exhale, but I couldn't help but smile. "Okay, that's it. Out. All of you."
Kemper, Patrick, and Jacob begrudgingly left, but I kept my eyes on Huxley. I soaked in how nervous and embarrassed he was. This was so unlike the man I'd come to know that I wanted to take a moment to appreciate his flustered and unsure movements. He began blowing out candles, and a heavy cloud of smoke filled the room, but I didn't care. One by one, each flame went out, and I was left with nothing but a dark room and Huxley's firm body. I was almost happy to be stripped of the ambiance. It was like that with Huxley and me. I preferred his gritty realism.
"You okay?" I finally asked once he was sure every candle was taken care of.
He took a moment to respond, wiping his hand on the back of his neck before saying, "Not really. This isn't me. Kemper's the one that does the candles and flowers shit. I wanted to do something special for our first...well, for you. But now I'm questioning everything."
"What would you have done, Hux?" I asked while walking closer. I trailed a finger down his torso and smiled when he shivered at my touch. "Show me how you'd make sure this was special. Not your brother, or Kemper, or anyone else that has ideas about what's special. What’s your version of it?"
My voice was low and sultry, the smoke in the room gave everything a hazy feel that had me aching to be closer. Huxley licked his bottom lip in a slow movement, and I wondered what he tasted like. Spinning me around, Huxley wrapped his arm around my middle then pulled my head to the side, exposing my neck.
"I would have come up behind you as you got ready for bed," he whispered. "I'd kiss your neck and enjoy watching your creamy skin pebble up with goosebumps." At that, he trailed his tongue along my skin and then blew cold air on me. I shivered, and an overwhelming heat flourished within me.
He trailed his fingers across my shoulders and my back, making sure to brush my hair aside so he could unzip the white dress I was wearing. "You look beautiful, but I'd rather see you with nothing on if that's okay?" he asked.
Th
e way he asked was tentative but heated. I was too turned on to say anything other than yes. When my dress fell to the floor, I couldn't help but let out a little gasp as the cold air hit my back. I felt lips on my neck. My shoulders. Trailing lower and lower, he kissed my hip, until finally, I felt him on my ass. A light nibble on my cheek had me almost bending over as sensations flooded each of my muscles. Huxley was on his knees.
"Spin around, little Walker," he said. His voice was hoarse and full of desire. I obeyed him with a smile, knowing that I'd do anything to feel his lips on my skin. He licked my stomach, scraping his teeth along me before placing a soft kiss lower. My legs went weak, and I let out a curse. Huxley already had me on edge with just a few kisses. "Sit on the bed, Ash."
I did as he asked, moving backward until the back of my calves hit the mattress. I sat down in a hurry, eager to see what would come next while enjoying the view of Huxley on his knees. His eyes were feral and hungry. Pulling my thighs apart, he let out a groan of approval.
"When I pushed you away, you stayed strong," he murmured while kissing my knee. "And when I was an ass, you didn't give up on me." He bit at my inner thigh, letting out an exhale. The subtle but hot breath brushed across the junction between my legs, reminding me that I was completely bare to him. "I'm going to reward you tonight for being my good little Walker. For staying with me, even when I didn't deserve it."
"I'll always stay with you, Hux," I said.
"You promise?"
I wanted to answer him, but only a gasp escaped my lips, cutting off whatever spoken promise I’d intended to make. His tongue reached my bare mound, and he moved circles around it. Each groan from his mouth had his lips vibrating against me. It felt so damn good.
My need increased, and I shifted on the mattress, my hips moving back and forth while I grinded against his mouth. "Oh yes," I whispered. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I bit my knuckle so hard I was sure it would bleed. The sensations were too vibrant, I couldn't hold back.
"Lay down, Ash," Huxley ordered while pulling back. He stood up and slipped off his boxers before kissing my stomach. Bracing each leg beside me at my stomach, I felt caged between his thighs while staring at his glorious hardness. Licking my lips, I wanted to taste him, and when I looked up at him, he smirked. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked while shifting closer and knowing what I was thinking. "You want to suck me off, little Walker?"
I nodded yes, already leaning forward to wrap my lips around his head. "Well, too bad," he replied while slinking back, farther away from me. "Tonight is all about you."
Huxley flipped me over and pulled my arms over my head. With one hand, he held me still, and with the other, he picked up a bottle of warm oil on the side table and poured a generous amount on my back. His strong hands kneaded my flesh, working through, with delicious delicacy, each knot in my muscles. Slower and lower, he massaged me until he was rubbing my globes. His hands dipped between my slick folds, rubbing until he slipped his finger inside of me.
"You like that, little Walker?" he asked, his voice sounded gravelly, making me clench with desire. Sliding in and out of me, he chuckled when I bucked up.
My response was a whimper. "Yes, Hux."
"Is this what you'd prefer? Or do you want flowers and candles?" I sensed some insecurities within Hux as he spoke. He pressed further, and I arched my back up some more to take his finger deeper.
"I want you," I replied with another moan. "I want the best version of you, Hux."
Huxley froze, and I felt his fingers fall away before a kiss touched my shoulder blade. "That, I can do. I'm going to give you all of me." Peppering kisses along my spine, I couldn't think of a time my body felt so worshipped. He didn't leave an inch of skin untouched. He took my hair out of it’s bun, letting my tresses cascade along my back. He then threaded his fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp before twisting my hair in his fist and guiding me to roll over and face him.
"I want to look in your eyes, Ash. I want to see every expression on your face."
He was gentle in the way he slid inside of me, pausing when I winced. I was still sore from Maverick. He pulsed and pulled, stretching me as I grew to accept how big he was. He leaned down to kiss me, and I bit his lip, tugging on it before saying, "This is perfect, Hux."
He pumped into me again, increasing his pace as he absorbed every single response. It was a divine experience. Huxley saved this side of himself for only those he loved, and although he'd never muttered the words, I knew he loved me. I felt it in his gaze poised perfectly on me.
"You know I love you, right?" My voice was breathy. Hux shifted so he could rub along my sensitive nerves as he thrust deeper. The combination of having him inside of me as he circled my clit had me close to thrashing, but I kept still and focused on the adoration in his eyes and the movements of his fingers. I was calling out to that pleasure deep within me and using him as my focal point.
I didn't expect Huxley to say anything in return. I'd come to love and accept his shortened speech and quiet, steadfast resolve. We'd always spoken better with our bodies, moving in perfect sync. Our connection had intensified over time, but there had always been a deep, unmistakable tethering between our souls. My words just solidified what our bodies already knew.
Huxley seemed to be lost in thought as he continued to move. My orgasm tore through me in an unexpected way. I cried out in bliss as he moved, matching me in pleasure after a few thrusts. Our breath mixed together, and I basked in my love for this man. He tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. He lingered for a moment, brushing his lashes against my skin while sucking in deep breaths.
"I love you, my little Walker. I've loved you since the moment you opened those train doors. I loved you when you saved baby Hope from me and the Walker woman in Dormas. I loved you when I kissed you back in my bedroom. I loved you in Ethros when you proved how strong you were. I loved you in the deadlands when you fought your grief. I love that damn determined smile you have. I love your confidence. I love how you say all the right things. I love you enough to light fucking candles and spread rose petals on the bed. I love you enough to say all the things I've always been too scared to say."
I wasn't expecting to cry at his admission, but slow and happy tears rolled down my cheeks, mixing with my sweat and making my chest swell with more love for this man. I didn't respond. I knew that it was a lot for him to say all of this. I imagined him practicing this speech in the mirror, and it made me smile. Instead of responding, I lifted up and kissed him on the lips, slow and steady. His determined face softened into happiness then. And as I lay there beneath him, basking in the joy of his love for me, I realized that it was a look I wanted to see for the rest of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next day, I woke up feeling equal parts sated and worried. Today was the day; Cavil sent the invitation to his grand party last night, letting everyone in Galla know that he would be traveling back to Ethros soon and expected everyone to be at his going away party.
I was shocked by his insistent need for praise and recognition. What about Cavil's life had made him crave the attention and adoration of the empire?
"Morning," Huxley murmured into my hair. We slept wrapped up in a tangle of limbs and exhaustion. He held me all night, and I enjoyed watching his peaceful face as he slept.
We reluctantly headed downstairs for breakfast after getting dressed. The other Companions sat with us, eating in silence. Kaye had disappeared for a walk sometime this morning. None of us bothered her as she still seemed upset by her sister's abandonment. Madam B and Louis made quick work of briefing us at breakfast. "Louis and Kemper were unable to finish the Heat disabler in time," she said before chomping down on a muffin.
Tallis frowned but seemed resigned to the fact that it wouldn't work. Everyone already knew about Kaye's sister giving up, so this seemed to just dampen the already dark mood. "I'll alert the Resistance," Jules said with a sigh.
"No," Mada
m B immediately replied. It was the first I'd seen her not act calm. "We still need the riots. Once Cavil is dead, it'll give us the momentum we need to really spark change. If they know we've failed to disable Heat, they won't stand up. We really need what few members of the Resistance we have."
"They'll be killed," I replied before pursing my lips. "You can't just send them to their deaths."
"Some may die, yes. But they're smart. Resilient. I'm sure more would survive than you think."
Tallis stood and scowled at Madam B. "No. That's not how I lead." He slammed a fist on the table, causing drinks to spill and food to splatter everywhere. Opposite him, Madam B seemed unphased by his outburst.
"You forget where you are," she murmured. "I've planned this all. You used my connections to get behind enemy lines. My Companions got you access to Mr. Black. I think you should tread very carefully."
I watched their ping ponged aggression and tried to piece together their motives. Why would Madam B risk so many? "Who does Cavil have that is important to you?" I asked while cocking my head to the side. I wanted to get to the bottom of her motivations and was determined to find out who exactly Madam B was doing this for.
"What do you mean?" she scoffed, but I saw the fear in her eyes. I was on to something, I just knew it.
"I want to know why you're doing this. Why do you want Cavil dead?"
She stood up and took a step back, as if being backed into a corner. "I want him dead for the same reasons you do. Cavil is evil."
"Enough," Jules said, eyeing me with annoyance but accepting why I needed to know. We were too close to the end of this. Madam B may be willing to risk the members of the Resistance, but I wasn't. I needed to know that she wouldn't betray us. This empire was too full of power-hungry people willing to step on anyone to get what they wanted.
