by Coralee June
Thurst frowned before whistling in response. The chirping sound echoed off the concrete buildings, sounding like a small bird as it traveled through the old, deserted town. After a moment, another person emerged from the buildings around us, and I noticed that it was Bowden.
I opened my mouth to ask where Hope was, but Thurst answered my unspoken question first.
“Hope was taken from us.”
At that, my heart completely sank. It nearly disappeared. Tears filled my eyes, and I took in Bowden’s lean form in the distance while grabbing at my chest. For a moment, I felt frozen in my turmoil. My fists were clenched in anger and sadness. My teeth were gnawing a hole in my lip so deep I knew I’d choke on blood.
I grabbed Jacob’s hand and urged him forward, bounding towards Bowden with a sense of disbelief and grief. I could feel the power of Hope’s namesake completely disappearing from my system. Once I was in front of Bowden, I let out a sob before gently wrapping my arms around him. Seeing him was difficult, but losing the baby girl I saved was cracking the last bit of resolve I had. “I’m so sorry,” I choked out. And I was. I was sorry that we weren’t here to help.
I looked at him, frowning when I realized that this was all that was left of Tallis' camp. "Is anyone else..." I trailed off, afraid to say my question out loud.
"We're it. Most migrated, some died of X. Few went off to fight. Some were...captured. We decided to stay put," Thurst said from behind me.
"Oh God, Tallis. Tallis is here!" I exclaimed, realizing that he would want to see them.
There was still hope in Dormas, after all.
Chapter Three
I stared at the flames in the campfire, too lost in my thoughts to really feel the warmth it put off. The winds from the deadlands carried with them a toxic smell that singed my nose hairs. It was bittersweet, setting up camp with the men I loved while grieving a little girl that was taken from Thurst and Bowden. I was a combination of all the moments leading up to this. I was hardened by Ethros, strengthened by my time in the deadlands. Destroyed by the idea of everyone I’d ever cared about being taken from me.
I was ruined.
“What are you thinking about?” Huxley asked while drawing in the dirt with a stick.
“Payne,” I replied. “And Hope.” The two children were special to me. Knowing that the cure was within Payne was a relief, but it was also terrifying. What if someone else got to him first? What if he was dead? What if he was captured like Hope was? Thurst and Bowden refused to go into detail, saying that it hurt too much to discuss. A thousand scenarios flooded my mind, and I had to dig my nails into my thighs, pinching them to keep from crying.
I watched the couple with despair. Thurst’s and Bowden's cheeks were sunken in. “I’m a foolish girl, Hux,” I said before brushing away an ant that was crawling along my skin.
“Why do you say that?” Off to the left, Patrick and Kemper were building shelter for the night, so I didn’t have to sleep in the transport again. Naturally, Tallis had whipped up a tent for him and Jules in record time, and they had already disappeared there to be alone. I found it curious that he didn’t want to be with his people, but also understood not being able to look them in the eye. Despite killing Cavil, the enemy, it was still hard to come home to a destroyed Dormas.
“I thought we could come back and just be like it was before,” I began while staring at the glowing embers in the fire. “Dormas isn’t the same. I am not the same,” I replied before standing up. “Good night!” I called out to Bowden and Thurst. I couldn’t sit here any longer. I couldn’t look at them and not think of everything we’d lost. Our reunion was bittersweet, and it didn’t escape me how Tallis was equally thrilled and disappointed to see what was left of his people. It was hard to watch. Lately, everything was hard to do.
After I brushed dust off my skirt, I waved timidly at the rest of my men before heading towards the tent Kemper put up for me. I couldn’t just sit there while thinking about all the sad things in my life. I had not allowed myself to wallow too much since Cavil’s death. I didn’t see the use. But knowing Hope was gone sent me spiraling. All I could think about were all the people I loved and all the terrible things that could happen to them. Naturally, Huxley didn’t let me off the hook that easily. He stood and raced after me, threading his fingers through mine while walking me back to our tent. “What’s on your mind, Ash?”
It was a question they all had been asking me daily, like figuring out the way my brain worked would somehow heal whatever we were going through. Huxley and I stopped outside my tent, and instead of answering him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his body close to mine.
“I’m thinking that I need you.” I needed all of them and the distraction they offered. The only time I wasn’t thinking about all the danger we faced was when I was with them.
Huxley gently lifted me up, cradling me in his arms before carrying me inside our makeshift shelter, stumbling a bit when he had to get through the door. There was a pallet on the floor, and he gently laid me down. The interior of the tent was large enough for all of us, and the moment that thought entered my mind, the door opened, revealing the rest of my men.
I watched as each of them slipped out of their shoes and removed their shirts. Huxley started meticulously unlacing my leather boots before sliding them off of my feet. “Leave it to Kemper to build the best damn tent there is,” Patrick joked before removing his pants and settling beside me. He reached across my chest and started unbuttoning my top, letting it slide off of my shoulders before discarding the dust-covered material.
“Got to take care of my woman,” Kemper replied with a shrug. I broke through the haze of my depression to look at his muscular frame, dragging my eyes down his abs then back up to his crystal blue eyes. His blond hair was much longer now.
Kemper lifted my foot into his lap and started massaging it as Cyler dipped lower so as not to hit his head on the ceiling while entering the tent. His long hair was still wet from the bath we took earlier. Thurst took us to a bathhouse he constructed with running water. “We having a sleepover?” I asked him, feeling the hint of joy kissing my soul at the normalcy of it all.
“Something like that,” Cy replied before positioning himself at my back and running fingers through my hair. My lips parted, and I moaned as the edge of his nails scraped along my scalp, causing me to melt in his lap. Jacob entered the tent next, and his mindspeak broke the spell.
“Oh fuck, those noises are killing me.”
I smiled as he crawled over to Huxley, lying down and resting his head on my stomach. I ran my fingers along the scar on his face, bending lower to kiss his cheek. “I love you,” I whispered.
Maverick was last to enter the tent. He looked around at us with a timid smile, his dark eyes taking in every detail, every perfect imperfection. I knew he was thinking the same things I was: We have to save our family; this was too perfect to give up.
He settled into the corner, and I broke away from the others to crawl into his lap. Curling up into a ball, I stroked his chest with the tips of my fingers while nuzzling closer. “This might be hell, but I’m damn happy we’re all finally together again,” he murmured before gently lifting my chin and placing a kiss on my closed mouth.
I didn’t immediately respond, feeling self-conscious in front of them all. We’d danced this line enough times that it wasn’t awkward, but I’d only had sex with Maverick and Huxley—though I planned to rectify that soon.
Maverick ignored my awkwardness and threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling just enough to make me gasp. He took advantage of my parted lips and trailed his tongue along mine, earning more moans from me.
“Fuck,” Cyler growled as something was tossed across the room. I broke the kiss to see what it was then smiled when I saw it was Jacob’s mindspeak. He didn’t want me to hear what he was thinking, but based on the show Maverick and I were putting on, it wasn’t hard to guess.
Patrick crawled along the floor space towa
rds me then captured my lips as Maverick palmed my breasts over my bra, kneading my skin as Patrick’s teeth clashed against mine. “What are you all doing?” I asked breathlessly between kisses as Maverick’s hand rested on the button of my pants.
“Making you forget for a little while,” Kemper said, his voice hoarse. Ah, Kemper. Always the selfless fixer. I wasn’t surprised that they knew I needed the distraction. They anticipated my needs and worked together to meet them.
Maverick unbuttoned my pants, then he and Patrick eased them over my hips. The moment the rest of the restricting clothes were gone, Patrick pulled me onto his lap, forcing me to straddle him. It all felt so good. I could hear their panting breaths. See their hooded expressions. Feel Patrick’s hard erection pressing and pulsing at my core.
I breathed in his woodsy scent, nuzzling into his neck while threading my hands into his brown hair. Patrick was grinding against me. He wrapped his corded arms around my back afterward and held me to him before kissing my lips again. Tugging at plush lips, he claimed me between his teeth while massaging my back. I started grinding against him, feeling that precious hardness against me press even harder. “Yes,” he whispered as I ground against him. Knowing that the others were watching brought my pleasure to new heights.
Patrick was straining against the denim of his pants, so I reached down to unbutton them. “What are you doing?” he asked on a shaky exhale.
“Forgetting,” I replied, and I noticed how his face slipped. I realized then that this wasn’t how he imagined our first time going. Patrick was the only virgin of the group, and I wanted our first time to be special. I knew it was a vulnerable thing for him. Having an audience would put added pressure on an already intense moment. I stilled then went back to kissing him, taking things slowly as he kissed me back eagerly.
“Soon,” I whispered against his lips, so softly only he could hear. “I want it to be just you and me.” He shuddered at my admission and jolted his hips up one last time, bumping against my sensitive nub as an unspoken promise that he would be more than willing to bring me to that peak.
“You’ve been so sad lately,” Patrick murmured. I knew they all were concerned about me. It still hurt that my feelings were so transparent. I pulled away after kissing him on the cheek one more time.
“We haven’t really had time to slow down,” I replied with a shrug. It wasn’t that I was sad. I had my men back. They were all I really needed. I just felt like we couldn’t catch a break. I’d been straddling this need to feel strong while wanting to crumble from the pressure. We’d been fighting and hiding so much that I still didn't feel settled. I craved a home and a routine.
“We can slow down, Babe,” Cyler replied with a mischievous grin. He gave Patrick a frown as if he had been the one to ruin the moment, but I was more than happy to put the brakes on this. I didn’t move though. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips before climbing off of him.
“Were you all trying to distract me with your bodies?” I said, a wry smile forming on my mouth. It was a foreign gesture, and I realized that I hadn’t been doing much of it lately.
“Was it working?” Kemper asked as I lay back down in the center of the tent.
Even though the lusty feelings from earlier had disappeared, there was still a strong sense of comfort I felt from having all of them near me. "It was. I won't lie, we might not have a home, but it feels good to have all of you in the same place at the same time again. I know I'm just working through some things, and I don't want you all to feel like you have to fix me." A hint of emotion bubbled up within my throat, and I tried everything I could to swallow it down. When you loved someone, you wanted to do what was best for them. And although I felt that I could be completely myself around my men, I didn't want to subject them to the torturous thoughts that plagued me daily.
Jacob moved around the tent, looking for his mindspeak. At first, I thought he wanted to tell me something, but instead, he gently crawled towards me and placed my head in his lap, securing the mindspeak in my own ear.
"Of course he would want to hear my thoughts. Guess it's only fair," the mindspeak said, echoing my own thoughts. I cringed at the monotone voice like it was a weapon. I wasn’t ready to spill my guts to them but knew that there was healing that would come from it. I closed my eyes because I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle watching their expressions as I finally poured out the thoughts that I'd been clinging to since killing Cavil.
The mindspeak took over, and it was a sort of freeing thing, knowing that it was a direct line to my unfiltered thoughts that didn't require me actually to voice them out loud.
"I killed a man. I don't feel bad about it. In fact, I’d do it again. I would do anything for you all. I want to build a life with you. I want a home. I miss Payne. I didn't realize how much I loved that little boy until I couldn't find him. I don't think I'll ever have any kids, but when I envision my life with you all, I see him running around in our front yard. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you again. And now that I know what it's like not to have some of you in my life, I feel more determined than ever not to lose you."
Tears started streaming down my cheeks as my thoughts kept going. It was like the mindspeak couldn't even keep up. "I don't ever want you to leave me out of decisions again. I’ve forgiven you, but I'm still sad. I need reassurance that we're in this together. I need reassurance that, no matter what happens, we won't allow ourselves to be separated again. I need to know that this is it. I'm going to feel comforted by all of you forever. I need to know that once the dust settles, you'll still want me."
I started sobbing, clutching my mouth with my hand as Jacob removed the mindspeak. I sat up as more tears fell. All at once, my men surrounded me. It felt like my feelings were so big that the tent couldn’t hold it all. They shuffled in the smaller space, and we made do with a makeshift group hug. They wrapped their arms around me. Huxley grabbed an ankle, Maverick my shoulder. Jacob was still behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist while resting his cheek against my back. Cyler was at my side. Kemper at my other. Patrick just held my hand, stroking his thumb along the top while murmuring sweet words of affection.
"We're never splitting up again," Cyler said in a steel tone that felt final. His words were like an ax on the lingering regret I had over the last few months. It felt like a fresh start, with all of them clinging to me as I left the last bit of my remorse to fall from my eyes. I was going to let go of the pity. I was going to release the fear. I was prepared to close the door on the bitter parts of our past so that we could take on the future together.
Chapter Four
I distinctly remembered falling asleep wrapped up in a cocoon of limbs and blankets, the steady rhythm of my men’s breathing lulling me to sleep. It was the most peaceful night’s rest I’d had since leaving Dormas. I was thankful to be able to stretch out and not have to fall asleep sitting up in the crowded transport. I felt safe. The peace of this land still ran through the soil, comforting me despite everything that had happened.
But I woke up with a hot breath between my thighs. A tender kiss was placed on my skin as my eyes fluttered open. “Don’t move, Ash,” a calm voice said. I looked around, noticing that my men had left, then looked at the source of tension building within me and smiled when I saw Kemper.
He met my gaze with a smile before slipping my panties off, leaving me bare to him. “Wh-where is everyone?” I asked, my voice smoky from sleep and the emotional energy coursing through me. He looked so handsome lying there, and his hair was a mess from our well-rested night. His pale blue eyes were hooded, and I couldn’t tell if it was from sleep or hunger.
“They got up early to talk with Tallis. I’m the lucky bastard that gets to wake you up,” he growled, his voice dirty and making a steady heat build within me.
“Why do I get the feeling that you all did something ridiculous like draw straws to see who got to wake me up?” I asked, my voice breathless as Kemper caused my nerves to buzz.
“I can
not confirm nor deny that there was a competition for who got to have alone time with you in the tent,” Kemper replied, his voice playful but intoxicating as his eyes turned dark with hunger. “It might have included mud wrestling, but I prefer not to go into details.”
I laughed at that visual, but the light giggle was cut off quickly when he pulled me closer, pushing his hand up my stomach before dragging his blunt nails down my skin. “I can’t handle myself around you, Ash,” he said before kissing my clit. I jerked in response, panting as my sleepy haze dissolved into need. “I had every intention of waking you up with a gentle kiss on the cheek. But you were sleeping with your legs open like you were just begging to be touched.”
I gasped as Kemper slid his fingers along me, plunging them inside as he kissed me again. He didn’t circle his tongue around my bundle of nerves; he devoured me, savoring each taste like I was a dying man’s last meal. Up and down, his tongue flicked, and the fast rhythm was perfect. I lifted my hips up to meet each stroke.
“You’re so amazing. Can I wake you up like this for the rest of our lives?” he asked before nuzzling closer and inhaling me like I was a decadent treat.
“Hell yes, you can,” I replied breathlessly. I couldn’t stop watching Kemp. Eagerness for his hard body on mine consumed me with every breath. With one final lick, he started traveling up my body towards my mouth while still cupping me in his palm. Once he was hovering over me, I watched him remove his shirt with one hand, and I quickly moved to unbuckle his pants. I loved how his movements were borderline frantic and controlled. It felt like if he didn’t get inside me soon, he would combust.
